And yet for, I am guessing, 85% of American Catholics it is. They pick and choose every day and often do so with the full knowledge of DREs and priests.
Speaking as a Catechist, the reason we “let people get away” with things that are not full expressions of our faith is that, first of all, the fact that someone self-identifies as Catholic is a sign that they are on the journey of conversion - a journey that takes
many steps.
We aren’t leaving those people in that situation, however - the family who only occasionally goes to Mass on Sundays is encouraged to go more frequently, but in the meantime, yes, we accept their efforts, and you will never see anyone being publicly scourged on the Church steps, yes, even if they are a C&E Catholic living with three or more sex partners.
This *doesn’t *mean that we don’t take the Sunday Obligation seriously, or that we don’t take any of our other teachings seriously, but rather, that we realize that people are not going to be bullied into making their Sunday obligation or into doing any of the other things that Catholics are required to do - we have to coax and entice them, and show them how their lives would be improved by doing these things. Mentioning that we missed them last Sunday, rather than lecturing them, for example.
Eventually, they will get there - in the meantime, we encourage them in their struggles.
In a medium like the Forums, one has to be somewhat more direct, because there isn’t the ongoing relationship in which things can unfold gradually - and, also, one assumes that when people are asking direct questions on the Forum, that they are interested in truthful, direct answers.