M
Mike_O
Guest
You seem to make your anger out to be a completely involuntary phenomenon. An extreme example to illustrate the point; a perfect stranger could well approach you on the street, wind up, and punch you. Initially, of course, a certain retributive anger is quite reasonable–the action was unjust. But if, months later, you call up the same intense, visceral anger whenever the memory of that aggressor comes to mind, well, then the anger is not something involuntary or beyond your control–you are willing it.
The same can be said in this situation. Upon entering a Church, what is it that compels you to adopt such anger? To be blunt, let it go.
No, it is not. You have elevated this one priest with whom you have such difficulties to be the whole of the Church.
The Church is 1.2 billion Catholics strong, and many of them on this same thread have shown you anything but scorn. Your statement is not true, therefore, and it would be best to understand that the Church is composed of more than one priest and more than any people in your parish with whom you have difficulties.
And who was it that told you this? If the priest is not working, find a lay director, or even a nun or a monk. To reiterate the concept of love, it is an act of will. Tacitly accepting another’s judgment that you can only be directed by a priest, trying ONE priest, and then saying “Oh, it did not happen, so there won’t be any direction for me” is not making the effort and the act of will.
This is completely untrue. Deliberately missing Mass is a mortal sin. To say that committing a mortal sin would NOT put your soul in deeper jeopardy is false. I’m sure you know this, but you are permitting some of your sorrow to override reason.
Are you physically unable to kneel, or even sit in a chair, and speak in your mind as with a friend? People struggling with the worst of doubts can pray. To say “God, I am unsure of Your existence” is itself a prayer.
An important question here; ideally, from your perspective, what could the Church do to help you? Do you think that, in the end, it will be someone else who restores your resolve to love God? Or will it be your own act of will?
To repeat, the Church is not 1 priest. Some of the Church is right here on this forum, and that part is concerned. In what way can people “foster your doubts” (I assume you mean “dismiss” rather than “foster”)? The tools have been provided; Peter Kreeft’s arguments, St. Thomas Aquinas’s proofs for the existence of God, the links to accounts of approved miracles such as Lanciano or Fatima, accounts of the lives of saints, even those of the 20th century who worked great miracles aided by God…what else could there be? Faith is not an emotional state–you choose to accept God’s testimony of Himself. Right there, you can choose. You do not have to “feel” comfortable about it, sense it with any of your 5 senses, “feel” happy about it, or anything else of the sort. It is an interior “yes” or an interior “no.”
Your descriptions of your troubles are vague, but if you answer those questions, others might be able to better help when they have a more solid grasp of the problem.
