Attending Mass. Church is failing us

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Thanks for the judgement of my situation. I can feel the love. Glad you have the money to attend Mass. also a great lesson in compassion. Just thanks.
. . . . This has been a very difficult situation for everyone. I work for my parish, during the time when we were completely shut down, even the church, it was so hard for our priests. They couldn’t go into the hospitals to comfort the dying or give last rites, they couldn’t go into homes to anoint the sick, our priests were unable to care for the souls in their community. It was heartbreaking to watch.

They said Mass everyday to an empty church and it was live streamed on Sundays. We were fortunate in that our state leadership decided to start opening up quickly. We were able to back to Mass in June with limited capacity and we are still there.

We do not have sign ups or reservations, it’s a first come, first serve. I disagree with making reservations, I’m sure there are people sitting there waiting to make theirs the minute it’s posted.

Having said all that attending Mass and receiving the Eucharist is not all about you. I missed Mass greatly while we were shut down and I didn’t go back on a regular basis until July just because I wasn’t sure if it was safe.

Your priest and parish staff is doing the best they can with limitations they have to deal with. They’ve had to learn how to do all the normal things that keep a parish running (that you never see) differently due to the virus. They have direction from the Bishop, advise from the health department, and then the calls from the parishioners telling them how they are doing it all wrong, lots of calls, enough to make our secretary to go home in tears from hearing all the complaints.

. . . . Make the reservation and then cancel them if you can’t attend. . . .
 
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So maybe just be grateful you have a Church, be grateful you are healthy, be grateful you have a job to go to, be grateful to God you are making it through this difficult time, be grateful for the times you are able to make it to Mass. Make the reservation and then cancel them if you can’t attend. You are not a victim here.
Amen!
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@Horton and @1ke , it’s nice that both of you do a lot of work for your parishes and I am sure it can be frustrating to hear complaints.

At the same time:
  • This poster is brand new here. Is it really necessary to unload on him to this degree?
  • He wants to attend Mass. While we can’t wave a magic wand and make that happen for him, I don’t think we should be discouraging or lecturing people who WANT to attend Mass and are having legit problems making it happen. If he lived here where there’s a Catholic Church every five miles, he’d have his pick of Masses. He just has a fuzzy end of the lollipop.
  • His parish may actually BE unresponsive. I have been to a lot of churches and have seen parish staff and volunteers who worked hard and cared about their jobs, and I have also seen parishes where if you aren’t in some little circle of insiders, the staff couldn’t care less about your concern or issue, even in non-COVID times. I sense some frustration being taken out here on a guy who isn’t from your parish and simply is having a problem at his own.
It might not be all about him - but it’s definitely not all about you either.
Maybe be a little kinder.

It may even be that he just wanted to vent and have people respond in some reasonably supportive way rather than yell at him.

Honestly, I myself am disheartened hearing these types of responses even though I’m not having the problem. Every time I read stuff like this I’m reminded again that it’s probably better to just avoid the priests and staff at church unless I’m dying, because they’re already having such a hard time, who knows if whatever I say will end up being some giant burden and trigger someone telling me I’m a whiner and bawling me out? I have enough issues to deal with already in my life without inviting more.
 
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This may be a familiar situation. Our parish requires reservations to attend Mass in this covid environment. Less than 50% capacity allowed. My situation prevents me from knowing far enough in advance if Ill be off work Sunday to attend Mass. I cant get reservations. Seats are gone by the time I know my wife and I are off work. My ability to attend service is very infrequent.

I don’t see any point continuing with this parish. …Without communion, I may as well attend any other church. The sacraments are the point for me

I’ve messaged him and took some time after confession to discuss. He offered no solution other than make reservations. and try to show up. I’ll end up wasting a seat alot of times by not able to attend. Im sure others in our parish are experiencing the stream problem. No out reach so far to the parish to see if there is a problem with the stream. Strange.

Our seats fill the first or second day. ( Tues or Wednesday) way before i know my work schedule.
Thomas here is my experience, one the rest of my State , Victoria, Australia is going through.
We have not had Mass or Confession since before Easter. We do have a few different Mass streaming on the Internet/. You dont have to stream or watch any one Mass, you can just watch Vatican Mass, Lourdes Mass, any Mass you want. Yep internet is dodgy, more these days everyone is on it because Covid. Sometimes I watch, sometimes not. You can watch any time you want, it does not have to be a live stream either. Watch a Mass that was recorded earlier on and has been posted to a website.

On Wednesday, actually Tuesday night at 11.59 to be exact (and yes we are counting) regional Victoria will be able to attend Mass again. This will be limited to 20 people per mass. That number means everyone will probably get one Mass in so that all can at least get one Mass in. We will probably have to roster and the Priest or Diocese Secretary only allow us one Mass until everyone has had a turn. Thats for regional areas, Melbourne itself no Mass yet.
Some people are doing clandestine communion /confession runs. That puts those involved at risk of huge fines.

So in pursuit of not having all our priests locked up for breaking the rules, we wait and wait and wait. When we get our 1 rostered Mass, we will go joyfully. I envy your position and If I were you, I would email for a spot as soon as the emails open up… Get that spot, no matter what the seat is, just go and sit or stand wherever you can. If you cant attend, your wife can surely go ? Maybe she can take a friend, or phone ahead and tell the parish there will be one late cancellation…

Make spiritual communion. Its something Catholics are getting good at doing at the moment. I used to attend confession weekly or fortnightly, I have not been since before Easter. God understands these limitations Covid has placed on us. Look at it as a test, stay the course. Stand firm.
 
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We have tried to make lemonade out of lemons. We enjoy watching some really good priests give spiritual talks on the Internet, so, we did some searching to see if some of our favorites offered streamed masses. We’ve watched masses by Bishop Barron (word on fire); we’ve REALLY enjoyed them. And I like the spiritual act of communion prayer so much, I’m trying to memorize it.

This has also opened up new possibilities for us. For instance, in watching Fr Barrons masses, I’ve realized that if I had a free 35 minutes anytime, any day, I could pop one of his masses on, participate from home, and thoroughly enjoy it, at anytime of the day I want. It’s not a perfect substitute for going to the church physically, but still, it’s something I wouldn’t of thought of doing if it hadn’t been for this odd time.
 
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Yep I see it as a test, will we walk away from the Catholic Church or stay the course with the rest of our restricted brothers and sisters. Its also been an absolute boon in the Church stepping into the new bold brave internet world and learning how to put Masses and other events up on the internet for everyone to watch.
One day this will all be a bad memory. Just as with all plagues.
 
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I’m sorry you are having such a hard time getting to Mass. My parish also requires online sign-up for each Mass and we are limited to 50% capacity.

As several others have suggested, go ahead and reserve your seats and then if you find out you are unable to attend call the parish office and let them know.

We have people without reservations show up for every Mass and can usually accommodate them due to cancellations or people not showing up. Perhaps your parish does this, too?

Also, we installed an outdoor speaker system for those who are uncomfortable being indoors or who could not get a reservation. They remain outside or even in their cars until time for Communion and then are invited inside long enough to receive Communion.
 
Like many of us, who are unable to assist at Mass in the Church building, (or who can get to Mass physically but are overdue for confession and thus unable to receive the sacrament) you can make an act of spiritual communion.
You could offer up your frustrations on behalf of those who are preparing to enter the Church and who, like you but for different reasons, ache to be able to receive Christ in the Blessed Sacrament.
May God bless you and all who yearn to be closer to Him.
Amen.
 
Without communion, I may as well attend any other church. The sacraments are the point for me.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, Thomas, and I don’t have any practical solution to offer beyond what has already been mentioned (in particular, try other live streamed Masses, the offer is plentiful).

I’m going to share this though: as someone who is on her way to the Church, has been for some years, and has been holding off confirmation in hopes not to get divorced over it, lockdown was when I felt as if I belonged for the first time. Catholics around me were suddenly in the same place as I am – desiring communion, not being able to receive, and saying acts of spiritual communion in front of their screens as I used to do at Mass. Since then, I’ve been feeling surrounded and carried by the Church in a special way.

You are making a huge sacrifice, but I can bear witness to the fact that it is not useless. You are helping me and others who, for some reason, have been unable to receive for years, more than you can imagine.

So, thank you. You will be in my prayers.
 
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Thank you for saying this Tis.

I feel like I don’t have enough cred with posters (who have been around longer than me) to say this, so I read posts like the two you responded to and just feel quietly discouraged. I appreciate that you spoke up.

I’ll add that knowing my local parish secretary in a private capacity (including seeing their inner circle of Facebook posts), and hearing this person’s incredibly rude and scornful way of describing people they interact with in the parish and dislike (and apparently how the priest speaks dismissively of certain issues brought forward too), makes parish staff seem unapproachable, at least in my locality. You realize quickly that there’s no standard of professionalism or compassion, at least when they think they’re behind closed doors. Or venting online.

So I’m not a big fan of “woe is me how dare the laypeople mention they’re suffering, think of how hard the paid staff have it, hearing about suffering when it’s hard to address. Selfish complainers”. Like sure, laypeople, don’t be abusive… but I’ve worked in corporate customer service jobs that didn’t treat unhappy (goodness, even abusive) customers with as much disrespect (even privately from the backroom) as some parish staff treat suffering laypeople. The fact that corporate businesspeople are more respectful and understanding, even in private, of the public complaining about them, is a mark of shame for certain parish offices in my opinion. At least, I’m only speaking about corporations I’ve worked in, and a single parish secretary whose Facebook feed dejects me. I’m sure some parish offices are excellent and compassionate, and some corporate staff bitter and selfish.
 
We have a reservation system in place that we’re supposed to use, but if you need to cancel or if you didn’t reserve and find yourself available to attend last minute, you simply need to phone the parish office (I think they’ve said 30-60 minutes ahead of time was the cut off for changes). They’ll then let you know if there’s an opening for you. Maybe this could be an option?
 
I don’t know that this will help, but during the time we were in RCIA and then the months we had to wait for an annulment, not receiving Eucharist was painfully difficult. We prayed the following prayer and that brought us comfort:

My Jesus, I believe that you are present in the most Blessed Sacrament. I love You above all things and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot now receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there, and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

 
So I’m not a big fan of “woe is me how dare the laypeople mention they’re suffering, think of how hard the paid staff have it, hearing about suffering when it’s hard to address. Selfish complainers”.
You have no idea what we do in our parish. You have no idea how we treat parishioners in our office. You certainly have no right to make a judgement about parish staff at my parish. We are the laity, the only ones who are not are our priests, the rest of us are parishioners just like anyone else. Yes we get paid for our jobs. Do you get paid for yours? Some parishes can’t afford paid staff or can only afford a part time position so they do rely on volunteers to help with the running of the parish.

I would bet you have no idea what goes on behind the scenes for a parish to operate day to day, that at least one Mass is offered every weekday, and seven on the weekend. That the lights are on, the heat or AC is on and works, that the plumbing works, that the church, office, school, and parish hall are cleaned. How about that there are plenty of hosts in the sacristy, that the big days like Christmas, Easter, and Ash Wednesday are taken into account. Is there enough wine? When to order the palm leaves for palm Sunday to ensure we get them but not too early. It goes on & on, 1000 or more things I couldn’t begin to list here. Yes our priests are helpful with this, but they spend most of their time with the parishioners, as they should.

Then let’s talk about all the various ministries in the parish. How about the religious education part, which two of us do full time. How do make the best use of the resources the parish gives us. How do work in the limited space available? How do we offer best practices of RE to our littles and our youth? It is hours and hours of work. Especially now having to work Covid restrictions into it.

Yes it is our job, yes we get paid. But no one goes to work for a parish to make money. The only people who can work here are folks with a spouse who makes a decent income or people who don’t have a need for a large income. This is the least amount of money I’ve made since the first couple of years after I graduated from college. But I don’t need a huge income, everything I own is paid for and I have no debt.

We work here because we love working for our parish, we love being part of the solution, we love our priests, and we love helping them do the good & holy work they do. When I spoke of our secretary going home in tears, she goes home like that some days because she is front line and hears the complaint, then tries to offer a solution, such as setting an appointment with one of the priests, and the person refuses to even discuss a solution, so she listens to the complaint saying very little, saying nothing negative because she is the sweetest person here, and lets the caller finish. And she takes it all in.

So the next time you decide to get all judgemental, try to find out what the real story is. You say you had a bad experience with one person on staff at your parish, that in no way gives you the expertise to judge how all staff at parishes behave.
 
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