Attending Mass on Sundays

[mrs_abbott]

Hello everyone!
As some of you may know, I’m a fallen Catholic trying to find my way home to Christ.
One of my biggest hurdles, and believe me I have too many to list, is attending Mass on Sundays. I just can’t seem to do it.
I don’t feel intimidated anymore like I used to. In fact, it doesn’t even cross my mind really to try and go anymore.
My prayer life is better than it has been in a VERY long time and still I feel no attraction to attend Mass.
Confession is not an option, since it wouldn’t be a “sincere” confession. I am not sorry for the things I have done because they were what was best for me, at the time.
I guess what I’m asking (and please be nice in your responses) is how can I get motivated to attend Mass or to even think about it, at least? Any ideas/suggestions? Am I called not to be a Catholic then if I can’t attend Mass since it’s a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church?

 

[LilyM]

Well … for starters the goal of your prayer is communication with God, right? How can you be better or more intimately united with him and better able to pray/talk with him than after having received him physically into your body?
Just like a telephone call to your husband or child is no substitute for being right there with them, right?

You say that you’re not sorry for attending Mass because you feel that it was the best thing for you at the time.

Have you thought about what the best thing for Him might have been? Or how he might feel about the fact that you just couldn’t be bothered to go to Mass? That just maybe the universe exists for His glory and His purposes and not for yours? That true communication actually requires effort?

That He was there waiting for you up close and personal and real, and you just blew off the chance to meet him? For what? What else is there that isn’t His gift or that is more important than meeting Him face to face?

 

[SMHW]

My prayer life is better than it has been in a VERY long time and still I feel no attraction to attend Mass.
Confession is not an option, since it wouldn’t be a “sincere” confession. I am not sorry for the things I have done because they were what was best for me, at the time.
I guess what I’m asking (and please be nice in your responses) is how can I get motivated to attend Mass or to even think about it, at least? Any ideas/suggestions? Am I called not to be a Catholic then if I can’t attend Mass since it’s a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church?

I’m sure you’ll get lots of answers. I’m just going to offer my observations.

You seem to be caught between the objective and subjective “requirements” for being a Catholic. By objective, I mean such things as attending Mass, receiving the sacraments, obeying the rules of the Church, etc. By subjective, I guess I mean following your conscience: doing things because you see them as manifestations of love for God and/or neighbor.

Now by faith we are supposed to believe that all those rules and regulations ARE the manifestations of our love for God and neighbor. But that doesn’t mean they always make sense to us mere mortals.

And then there’s the problem that we sometimes just don’t want to love God and neighbor. We’d much rather be selfish. Our conscience may even prick us into feeling bad about being selfish but it doesn’t change the fact that we still want to be selfish.

For instance, you want to want to attend Mass. But you haven’t quite gotten to the point of actually wanting to attend Mass. The wanting to want to do the right thing is because you subjectively want to do what your knowledge tells you is the objectively right thing to do.

It seems to me that for you to embrace the Catholic faith at this point in your life you are going to have to act in spite of what you want and hope that the desire comes later. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t.

You need to decide if you WILL love God and your neighbor in the way the Church says we should do so. Your motivation is going to have to be something other than just wanting to do the right thing.

 

[aurora77]

If, like a previous poster said, you want to want to attend Mass, just make yourself do it. No excuses, you’re an adult, capable of choosing, so go. Take each Sunday as it comes and go and hopefully you’ll get into going and be happy that you do.

If you don’t want to want to attend Mass, nothing’s going to get you to go. While in prayer, pray for the desire to be the closest to God that you can be this side of Heaven.

 

[cecilia97]

Hi Mrs Abbott,

I was in your shoes for many years. I made several false starts back toward the church, and I wish I knew a magic formula to give you.

What finally did it for me was going to Eucharistic Adoration. I started doing that at the suggestion of a friend, even before I started going to Sunday Mass regularly. After a while, it was just not possible for me to stay away from Confession and Mass. Sitting in the physical presence of Christ is so powerful! Now I can’t imagine missing Mass, and I don’t know what I did all those years without the Church.

Would you feel comfortably trying that out? There shold be a parish near you with Adoration, you can find out at masstimes.org. There’s no pressure, no rules, and it’s very likely no one will approach you or even speak.

You’ll be in my prayers!
c

 

[jmcrae]

Hello everyone!
As some of you may know, I’m a fallen Catholic trying to find my way home to Christ.
One of my biggest hurdles, and believe me I have too many to list, is attending Mass on Sundays. I just can’t seem to do it.

Make it a standing appointment on your calendar. One thing we do to instill this habit in our RCIA candidates is by having a specific Mass that they have to attend. Sneaky, but it works. By the time they are received into the Church, it’s an ingrained habit.

There are probably all kinds of things that you think you have to do before you can start coming back to Mass, but the truth is, all you have to do is show up. (Receiving Holy Communion is a different ball game - but going to Mass doesn’t imply receiving Holy Communion. Lots of people go to Mass without receiving Holy Communion. Believe me, you won’t “stand out” in any way.)

A priest friend of mine once told me, “95% of being Catholic is about showing up. The rest pretty much takes care of itself.”

The suggestion to go to Adoration is also a good one. Lots of people have found the zeal of their recommitment to Christ at Adoration.

 

[DonProfondo]

One of my biggest hurdles, and believe me I have too many to list, is attending Mass on Sundays. I just can’t seem to do it.
I don’t feel intimidated anymore like I used to. In fact, it doesn’t even cross my mind really to try and go anymore.
My prayer life is better than it has been in a VERY long time and still I feel no attraction to attend Mass.

If your prayer life is better than it has ever been and you STILL have no interest in the Mass, then I can only wonder what your prayer life was like before.

Confession is not an option, since it wouldn’t be a “sincere” confession. I am not sorry for the things I have done because they were what was best for me, at the time.

If you don’t see anything wrong with the things you have done, then you need to open the Catechism and start reading. If the things you did were truly sinful, then it could not be said that they were what was best for you, “at the time.”

Choosing not to be present at Sunday Mass when it is within your power to be there is a sin. Why? To sin means, in essence, to say “no” to God – the opposite of what Mary did at the Annunciation. The Mass is the one thing that Jesus explicitly asked us to do for Him: “Do this is memory of Me.” To refuse to attend Mass on a holy day of obligation (and every Sunday is such) is to say to Jesus, “No, I won’t do this in memory of You. I have other priorities.” That is saying “no” to God – turning your back on Calvary. If you say “no” to God too often, it becomes a habit. And that habit can become so ingrained that when the last chance to say “yes” to God comes, you may be surprised to find yourself saying “no” out of habit. And then where will you be?

Am I called not to be a Catholic then if I can’t attend Mass since it’s a mortal sin according to the Catholic Church?

Christ died to save all people, and instituted one Church for the sanctification of all. Everyone is called to join the Church. Not everyone who is called, however, wants to listen. And not everyone who hears wants to take up his cross and follow Him.

 

[Damascus]

Hello!

I think you are called to be a Catholic!

I’m going to make this simple. There is no easy answer. Maybe think about all the good things (as you have here) and start with that.

Motivation? I think you are. You already think about it, are looking for a solution, and asking for help. Sounds motivated to me!

There is no easy answer for this, and frankly after reading a post here, I’d most likely loose my interest too.

I had a problem with attending a certian family event that was at a relatives house (many years ago) that I did not really feel was something I needed to go to. I would come up with reasons why I coudnt go, and my Dad finally caught on and asked me to at least go so I could know why I did not like it so much since I had not gone for a while and if I still felt the same way, then maybe it would be better for me to at least know why instead of think I know why I was not wanting to go.

I went. I was glad I did. It was not as bad as I imagined it would be, and in fact - he was right- even if it had been - at least I knew how I really felt after giving it a go again!

I dont know if that is any help at all, but you are in my prayers.

I hope everyone remembers to be NICE in their responses.

 

[mrs_abbott]

Hi Mrs Abbott,

I was in your shoes for many years. I made several false starts back toward the church, and I wish I knew a magic formula to give you.

What finally did it for me was going to Eucharistic Adoration. I started doing that at the suggestion of a friend, even before I started going to Sunday Mass regularly. After a while, it was just not possible for me to stay away from Confession and Mass. Sitting in the physical presence of Christ is so powerful! Now I can’t imagine missing Mass, and I don’t know what I did all those years without the Church.

Would you feel comfortably trying that out? There shold be a parish near you with Adoration, you can find out at masstimes.org. There’s no pressure, no rules, and it’s very likely no one will approach you or even speak.

You’ll be in my prayers!
c

It’s always good to know that others have felt that way too. I hope that one day soon I can come back and never want to leave. I think a big burden on my shoulders is that I would have to motivate my husband to go back also, once I got comfortable with going again.

 

[Mommyof02green]

Prayer live is better… That’s good!!!

How is your Bible reading going???

The lack of motivation to going to Mass maybe caused by the lack of understanding why Mass is important??? Or what is the Mass???

I would try these 2 things to see if they will help motivate you.

One is this bible study! It shows how the Mass relates to the Bible: salvationhistory.com/online/beginner/begcourse2_home.cfm

The other thing I would do is consider buying this book: “The How to book of the Mass” The book gives ideas on how to get more out of Mass; How to pray at Mass; How to experience the Mass as a encounter with our Risen Lord etc…

www.catholicfamilygifts.com sells the book: “The How to book of the Mass”.
I hope these ideas help.
May God bless you and hold you in the palm of His hand.

 

[mrs_abbott]

Hello!

I think you are called to be a Catholic!

I’m going to make this simple. There is no easy answer. Maybe think about all the good things (as you have here) and start with that.

Motivation? I think you are. You already think about it, are looking for a solution, and asking for help. Sounds motivated to me!

There is no easy answer for this, and frankly after reading a post here, I’d most likely loose my interest too.

I had a problem with attending a certian family event that was at a relatives house (many years ago) that I did not really feel was something I needed to go to. I would come up with reasons why I coudnt go, and my Dad finally caught on and asked me to at least go so I could know why I did not like it so much since I had not gone for a while and if I still felt the same way, then maybe it would be better for me to at least know why instead of think I know why I was not wanting to go.

I went. I was glad I did. It was not as bad as I imagined it would be, and in fact - he was right- even if it had been - at least I knew how I really felt after giving it a go again!

I dont know if that is any help at all, but you are in my prayers.

I hope everyone remembers to be NICE in their responses.

Thank you for your encouraging words. I pray to God to give me the strength to just set foot through those Church doors on Sunday and even just hang out in the back pew or something and just listen to His Word. It’s inspiring, at times, and others not.
I’m hopeless. I know it’s not that hard to physically walk over to Church (I’m blessed to be within walking distance of the Catholic Church here in town) but I mix in my personal drama and then it doesn’t become something I’m doing for God anymore.
You know the saying “let go and let God”? That is the toughest thing to do for me. For some reason, I can’t let go and try and fix things myself.
Obviously that hasn’t gotten me very far down the path to eternal life.

 

[mrs_abbott]

Prayer live is better… That’s good!!!

How is your Bible reading going???

The lack of motivation to going to Mass maybe caused by the lack of understanding why Mass is important??? Or what is the Mass???

My Bible reading is going better than it was. I was a really devout Catholic in high school, believe it or not. Most people don’t think that teenagers are really into religion but I was. I went on a Teens Encounter Christ retreat when I was a junior and it changed my life. To this day, it’s what gets me through and reminds me that there is Someone who loves me and is just waiting on me to cross the threshhold into His arms. But yet, I’m hesitant to do so. Why is that? I honestly don’t know what’s holding me back.
I went to Catholic school for 12 years so I know all about the Mass. As an adult, I’ve discovered why the Mass is so much different than any non-Catholic service. I hold a certain Truth to it that I know can’t be found elsewhere.
I just need to be smacked upside the head and drug into Church. I know that once I got there, I’d be fine. I just need to get there.

 

[mrs_abbott]

Make it a standing appointment on your calendar. One thing we do to instill this habit in our RCIA candidates is by having a specific Mass that they have to attend. Sneaky, but it works. By the time they are received into the Church, it’s an ingrained habit.

It’s a sneaky but very clever idea. Maybe I need to make it my weekly appointment. The rest of my life seems to center around making time for doctors appts, meetings and such so why not schedule God in?
I’ll program it into my planner on my cell phone and see if that helps at least spark an interest.

 

[Pug]

trying to find my way home to Christ.

Christ is watching over your every step. There is a way to deal with this problem, and your feet will migrate on to that path as you trust him. I don’t know the path for you, but I know it is is there. Perhaps you might pray every day that you faithfully follow his path for you and that maybe, just maybe he can make the path a little more obvious for your eyes to see it better. Somtimes reading scripture can help me with that second part.

Just a practical item. Maybe you could go to a daily mass some morning or evening when you aren’t committed to some family chore. Just go and be with God. Listen to him. Enjoy being with him and not worry for those few moments about things.

 

[Mommyof02green]

My Bible reading is going better than it was. I was a really devout Catholic in high school, believe it or not. Most people don’t think that teenagers are really into religion but I was. I went on a Teens Encounter Christ retreat when I was a junior and it changed my life. To this day, it’s what gets me through and reminds me that there is Someone who loves me and is just waiting on me to cross the threshhold into His arms. But yet, I’m hesitant to do so. Why is that? I honestly don’t know what’s holding me back.
I went to Catholic school for 12 years so I know all about the Mass. As an adult, I’ve discovered why the Mass is so much different than any non-Catholic service. I hold a certain Truth to it that I know can’t be found elsewhere.
I just need to be smacked upside the head and drug into Church. I know that once I got there, I’d be fine. I just need to get there.

Then maybe the bible study won’t help so much. However, the book still might help you. The book will give you “ideas” on how to actually get something out of the Mass. How to get prayer!!! How to get in encounter with the Risen Lord!! How to enjoy even the most boring homily!!! Etc.

Do that long with:

I’ll program it into my planner on my cell phone and see if that helps at least spark an interest.

I can see to things happening here! 1) It will be scheduled in so you will have the “time” 2) you will be excited, because you know you would be getting something out of it… like “deeper prayer”.

Think about, most everyone WANTS to go to b-day parties because they know they will get “cake”.

You may find yourself “wanting” to go to Mass because you know you’ll get “deeper prayer” out of it. Something you said that you are currently enjoying and going well… Mass would only enrich it more (And you would have the tools on knowing how to make that possible)

 

[mrs_abbott]

I can see to things happening here! 1) It will be scheduled in so you will have the “time” 2) you will be excited, because you know you would be getting something out of it… like “deeper prayer”.

Think about, most everyone WANTS to go to b-day parties because they know they will get “cake”.

You may find yourself “wanting” to go to Mass because you know you’ll get “deeper prayer” out of it. Something you said that you are currently enjoying and going well… Mass would only enrich it more (And you would have the tools on knowing how to make that possible)

Let’s hope so. The key, this weekend at least, is going to be scheduling it in when I’ve already got a commitment out of town this weekend (a non-dem wedding to attend Saturday afternoon). The only thing I can see us doing would be to find out where the Catholic Church is in that town and heading over there after the ceremony and just missing the dinner and then return for the dance. That would DEFINITELY be a challenge for me and my hubby to see if we can go out of our way to attend Mass.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

I was a fallen away Catholic too…for over 30 years. I don’t know what made me start thinking about the Church again. Maybe when I saw that my parish of baptism was going to be celebrating its 50th anniversary this fall and I remembered when it was new. So, I got my courage together, registered in my new parish and then I couldn’t bring myself to go to Mass. Would I know what to do? Would everyone know I was a fallen away Catholic? Would I embarrass myself? So…for 2 months…I kept telling myself…next Sunday I am going to go. Will there be a crowd? Will anyone want to sit next to me in the pew? Will I be properly dressed? What if I start coughing, sneezing or have to go to the bathroom? Just anything to dissuade me from making that step. Then one day, I drove by the church. What door do I go in? I drove away thinking, I am never going to make this step. Then on Ash Wednesday…I told myself…“This is the day. It is now or never.” I also thought…I am not getting any younger…literally…and I want to go back to the Church that I freely joined at age 15. I went to Ash Wednesday Mass and it was absolutely crowded to the max. But I found a place to sit…a nice young teen sat next to me…a nice older lady sat on the other side and I wasn’t lost during Mass at all. It all came back to me in one fell swoop. I didn’t have a sneezing fit…start coughing…or have to go to the bathroom and at the sign of peace… my fellow parishioners shook m y hand and smiled…(another thing I dreaded).

It is now almost 7 months later…I have gotten my sins confessed and can go to Communion…I go to Confession and I attend Daily Mass. I am so glad that I made that first step back. It wasn’t easy…but it was worth it.

Good luck…God Bless and I will be thinking of you.

:heart:Blyss

 

[Mommyof02green]

Let’s hope so. The key, this weekend at least, is going to be scheduling it in when I’ve already got a commitment out of town this weekend (a non-dem wedding to attend Saturday afternoon). The only thing I can see us doing would be to find out where the Catholic Church is in that town and heading over there after the ceremony and just missing the dinner and then return for the dance. That would DEFINITELY be a challenge for me and my hubby to see if we can go out of our way to attend Mass.

That would be a HUGE step… especially seeing you are having a hard time just walking down the street

I’ll keep you in my prayers, and hope that you do find your way back to Mass.

As for Hubby: Your going to have to let him come to it on his own…in some ways. This is coming from some one who started their marriage in a mix-faith. (My husband when we married was a NON-Baptized, NO Church, avg Christian). He now is a devoted Catholic, like myself, but he had to get there on his own.

Just say prayers that hubby finds his way, back home like you are. I know that the journey is easier when you have someone to walk with you. However, remember you have Christ walking with you, so you are not alone.

The only thing you can do for your husband is say prayers and lead by example. God Bless you on your Journey Home!

That’s the other thing you can do. Talk to the people from the journey home network… Their mission is to help converts and reverts to find their way home or back home to the Catholic Church: Journey Home’s web page is: chnetwork.org/

 

[jmcrae]

I think a big burden on my shoulders is that I would have to motivate my husband to go back also, once I got comfortable with going again.

Why? Surely that’s his responsibility - not yours. You’re only responsible for yourself. Not for him.

My husband isn’t even Catholic. If I thought it was my responsibility to “convert” him and convince him to attend Mass, I’m sure I’d just roll over and die.

Thank God, it’s His job; not mine!!

 

[Damascus]

Thank you for your encouraging words. I pray to God to give me the strength to just set foot through those Church doors on Sunday and even just hang out in the back pew or something and just listen to His Word. It’s inspiring, at times, and others not.
I’m hopeless. I know it’s not that hard to physically walk over to Church (I’m blessed to be within walking distance of the Catholic Church here in town) but I mix in my personal drama and then it doesn’t become something I’m doing for God anymore.
You know the saying “let go and let God”? That is the toughest thing to do for me. For some reason, I can’t let go and try and fix things myself.
Obviously that hasn’t gotten me very far down the path to eternal life.

You mentioned your youth, and how you were into it then. It hit me. Read my post again (first one) and picture yourself that age. Picture yourself dragging your feet and your family all waiting for you (even if that was not the case) just hold that thought-
you would likely try harder for their sake to spare them agony right?
Now you are in charge. No one, and you admit- your spouse is not putting any pressure on you.
Think: Would I do this if I had someone “on my butt” about this?
Not that that is “inspirational” and warm and fuzzy Oprah stuff, but it is REAL.
Being a mommy and a wife, and in your case most likely doing more of the work at home? As well as in the spiritual realm? — it is a heavy load you carry my friend.
Maybe you see this as one more of many things you do alone without proper encouragement or support.
Maybe you feel you need and want someone to be in the car waiting for you to get going since everyone is waiting for you —

Remember - someone is! Jesus is waiting for you. But he wont nag you.

Remember Footprints?
And the guy sees one set of footprints?

Jesus was carrying him then!

He is strong enough to hold you and carry you now. So rest in his arms.
Dont fight it.