Attending Mass only once a month as EF mass too far away

[shinytoy]

I agree with you that an internet forum is not the place for the OP to be discussing this issue, that it needs to be done with their priest.

I also understand that people can be very sensitvie to their liturgical surroundings.
However, what do you think it was like at Calvary? I am pretty sure it was not a quiet subdued, place. In fact, I imagine that it had to be one of the noisiest places around.

i’d imagine they didnt have to go every week though. why cant parents with babies have the decency to take them out? i mean if you MUST have ten kids, at least discipline them. if i have babies i wil respect the many that want to pray and NOT allow my kid to be climbing pews, playing with toy trucks in the aisles or screaming during mass. i would take them out, or take them in the glass bit at the back.

 

[catsrus]

At My TLM parish, there are many, many children. Babies crying, of course and toddlers whineing but, I do have to say, that is the only noise to be heard before, during and after Mass.

 

[purplesunshine]

I would be concerned with ANY priest wiether it was a Latin mass or an Engilsh (French/Spanish/ASL) or charasmatic leaning that would allow a faithful Catholic to be dispansed to only attend mass monthly becuase that’s when their only mass was offered.

I actually think that people should be responsible to their geographic parish and should be required to seek council with that parish priest before wandering around. I think this would create a system where the priests and bishops are more aware of the needs of the people. It would also stop things where priest would be tempted to give out dispensations for adult catholics trying to avoid vaild masses that they don’t prefer.

 

[Mumbles140]

nope, my local parish has 9am (the loud babies one) 12 noon (the yobs one) or 7pm with the guitar chorus.
the next nearest parish (NO) is over an hour away.

hmmmm. i really wish i could attend say a thursday TLM instead of sunday NO. i mean yeah the Father said you shold honor the Sabbath. but like surely by faithfully attending the Mass once a week (Thurs) i would be better off than the vast majority of UK Christians who attend once a decade for weddings/funderals only once once a year for Xmas? i mean you cant say that i’d be just as damned. in anycase, online i read that the sabbath is actually a saturday.

Is there a Saturday evening Mass? And what about the parish an hour away? I know it is far, but if your parish bothers you that much, you can offer it up to God, say a rosary on the drive, etc.

The thing is, as someone attending the TLM, and therefore, I assume, strong in their faith, don’t you desire to endure the distractions and rattle of this world to make yourself closer to Christ on the day chosen to do so? The day the Holy Mother Church has obliged us to do so?

I’ve noticed that a lot of families tend to sit in the back of the Church - have you thought about sitting as close to the altar as possible, so at the very least you can hear the priest better?

Lastly, I don’t see why you would mention what the ‘vast majority’ of UK Christians do. You are a Catholic, you make an oath to God by practicing the faith, and it is your fault alone if you choose not to practice it, even if everyone else in the world has abandoned it. Stay strong. I know it is hard - I am going through a very similar experience as you are, but pray for guidance from the Spirit, but make sure you fulfill your Sunday obligation!

 

[Ruth_Catherine]

bros

i saw on another forum that alot of catholics who ONLY attend TLM sometimes only attend Mass on eg every Thursdays or only once a month on Sunday because they believe that the Novus Ordo mass is not a true mass, and their only parish TLM is once a month or too far away or not on sundays.

Therefore they think they are allowed to only attend mass once a month due to the ‘distance’ exception and obtain the spiritual communion.

what do you think of this? i’ve met quite alot of people like this who say ‘i ONLY attend TLM so we only go mass once a month on Friday since thats the ionly TLM we have in our parish’.

i love TLM but my nearest regular sunday one is 2 1/2 - 3 hours away one way. would it be ok if i attend mass on eg Mondays (there is a regular one nearby) or only attend mass monthly (there is one in my parish once a month)???

I understand where you are coming from as far as distractions. Some people I think struggle more with distractions than others. I do. One Sunday at mass a couple of teenage girls thought it was cute to tap their rings on the pew in rhythmic tunes during mass. I think I was the only one who turned and looked and they were doing it very loud. They then quit, but I don’t believe it is just Sunday mass that has distractions. The other day during a weekday mass a mom allowed her toddler to wander throughout the church and pews during mass without trying to take her back to her pew. She just let her wander around while she followed her bu’t I dont think you will find it child free and perfectly quiet always at the TLM. There are alot of young conservative Catholics coming up these days that are being turned toward more traditonal ways and they will have children with them, also. Jesus said to bring the children to him, though,I believe parents should try to teach their children that mass is place to be quiet and respectful and when they get upset and cry, because that is their nature, to take them out.

Maybe this question could be a reminder to us that people are there trying to pray. Sometimes after weekday mass I have found adults standing in the church talking and being distruptive while people are still there trying to pray. I read somewhere that it used to be very norm for people to stay and pray quietly after mass.

That being said, I agree with everyone else. You need to attend Sunday mass. I would try for an early morning time. There would be less distractions and no music. I think it would be good to talk to your priest, also. He may have some suggestions for you, specific for you parish, such as a particular mass he knows is less distracted.

Children and being pro-family is part of our Catholic heritage so it will be hard to go to a mass and not have children there.

The music is a whole different story. Hopefully, you can find a mass without the distractive music.

 

[MikeDunphy]

i love TLM but my nearest regular sunday one is 2 1/2 - 3 hours away one way. would it be ok if i attend mass on eg Mondays (there is a regular one nearby) or only attend mass monthly (there is one in my parish once a month)???

If I were in your situation, I would definitely be at the nearby Monday Mass and the once a month TLM, but that still leaves three Sundays a month.

By any chance, are you near one of the Anglican parishes that are rejoining the Catholic Church? As I understand it, the first are coming into communion this very Sunday, with more to follow. (Their priests won’t be ordained to the Catholic priesthood until Pentecost, however, so you wouldn’t be able to receive Holy Communion there until June).

You might be close to an Eastern Rite Catholic church. Their Masses are usually beautiful and devout (with different customs, but you can stand toward the back and imitate what everyone else is doing).

Are you absolutely sure that the next closest parish is an hour away? Masstimes.org has a listing of many of the churches in Great Britain. Maybe you overlooked one?

 

[JRKH]

nope, my local parish has 9am (the loud babies one) 12 noon (the yobs one) or 7pm with the guitar chorus.
the next nearest parish (NO) is over an hour away.

Well - I don’t know what a “yob” is, but based on what yous ay here, I believe I’d go with the 9 am even with the loud babies. Offer the distraction up as a cross - a penance - for sin. Does your local parish have have Saturday evening mass?

[qote]hmmmm. i really wish i could attend say a thursday TLM instead of sunday NO. i mean yeah the Father said you shold honor the Sabbath. but like surely by faithfully attending the Mass once a week (Thurs) i would be better off than the vast majority of UK Christians who attend once a decade for weddings/funderals only once once a year for Xmas? i mean you cant say that i’d be just as damned. in anycase, online i read that the sabbath is actually a saturday.
Under the Old covenent the day of rest was saturday. This is true, but this was changed under the new covenant because Jesus Rose on Sunday and that is when the Christians began gathering to “break bread”.
Yes it would be nice sometimes to be able to choose the day but unfortunately this is not how things are set up.
As far as being “less damned”…I don’t think there is much difference between a 400 degree oven and a 500 degree oven…
Seriously. It is a bad idea to start comparing yourself to others. We will be judged as individuals and I don’t know of anything in scriptures that indicates that we will be graded on a curve…

Peace
James

 

[laszlo]

While there is no “loophole” regarding the “obligation” to attend Mass, there is also the following:

There are people who are very sensitive to their liturgical surroundings, and it could be argued that the distractions (noise, demeanor, behavior, etc) as mentioned by the OP present an danger to his/her spiritual life. In such case the provisions of the Canon 1245 could possibly be invoked. That said, an internet forum is not the place to make such a determination. If the situation is truly as onerous as portrayed, I would suggest that the OP sit down with his/her pastor and discuss the matter privately.

Canon 1245 allows dispensation by the legal superior. No one is his own superior, giving himself such dispensation.

Naturally one can go to his local pastor, explaining him that the masses on his church are too noisy and asking for such dispensation.

I imagine the local pastor will advise such request to go to the earliest Mass, which is usually w/o any music or so, and as close as the later masses.

 

[malphono]

Canon 1245 allows dispensation by the legal superior. No one is his own superior, giving himself such dispensation.

Naturally one can go to his local pastor, explaining him that the masses on his church are too noisy and asking for such dispensation.

I imagine the local pastor will advise such request to go to the earliest Mass, which is usually w/o any music or so, and as close as the later masses.

 

[malphono]

Canon 1245 allows dispensation by the legal superior. No one is his own superior, giving himself such dispensation.

Who said anything about self-dispensation? The Canon itself is quite clear that such a dispensation may only be granted by the pastor. I merely said that a dispensation, according to provisions of Canon 1245 could POSSIBLY be granted.

Naturally one can go to his local pastor, explaining him that the masses on his church are too noisy and asking for such dispensation.

I imagine the local pastor will advise such request to go to the earliest Mass, which is usually w/o any music or so, and as close as the later masses.

As I said in my earlier post, an internet forum is not the place to make such a determination, nor is it a place to speculate on what the pastor may or may not say. Best to leave that to personal discussion between the person and the pastor.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

The Faithful are obliged to assist at Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation. We can fulfill this at any valid, licit Catholic Rite. Exceptions can be made for serious illness or extreme distance - but not because we prefer a different form than what’s available.

You’re welcome to go to the EF when it’s available - but you have to get to Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation, whether it’s EF, OF, Byzantine, or whatever Rite or Form in union with the Holy Father.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_P4N.HTM

This. The fact that you don’t like the language, music, architecture, dress of the other parishioners, or Father’s vestments has nothing to do with it.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

nope, my local parish has 9am (the loud babies one) 12 noon (the yobs one) or 7pm with the guitar chorus.
the next nearest parish (NO) is over an hour away.

hmmmm. i really wish i could attend say a thursday TLM instead of sunday NO. i mean yeah the Father said you shold honor the Sabbath. but like surely by faithfully attending the Mass once a week (Thurs) i would be better off than the vast majority of UK Christians who attend once a decade for weddings/funderals only once once a year for Xmas? i mean you cant say that i’d be just as damned. in anycase, online i read that the sabbath is actually a saturday.

You say your location is London. I have a very hard time believing that in London and the surrounding area these are your only choices. As others have said, have you looked at hospitals, nursing homes, universities, as well as all your surrounding parishes? Even if you end up going to a few different locations during the month, you really need to figure out a way to get to Mass each Sunday.

At your own parish, you should also see if sitting in another location will help.

 

[shinytoy]

You say your location is London. I have a very hard time believing that in London and the surrounding area these are your only choices. As others have said, have you looked at hospitals, nursing homes, universities, as well as all your surrounding parishes? Even if you end up going to a few different locations during the month, you really need to figure out a way to get to Mass each Sunday.

At your own parish, you should also see if sitting in another location will help.

no i work in london during the week, i live in the regional areas outside the city but i listed my location as the nearest major city so people can see vaguely where im from. but i live about 1 1/2 hours ourside central london

 

[icamay]

let me assure you it is, with all the babies screaming, twangy guitar style ‘hymns’ like ‘shine Jesus shine’, and miniskirted yobs chatting and yawning.

I hear this a lot as an argument against going to mass. First, I’ve not been to a mass with guitars, so I’m not sure why there are so many doing it? My second observation regarding this is that many of the modern churches are being built with cry rooms. I am new in the RCC, but I’m finding a lot of empty reasons why people aren’t attending mass - just my observation.

 

[acarlson]

To pretend that only the TLM is the proper Mass and the new form is unacceptable is objectively grave sin: the denial of the authority of the Holy Catholic Church. Subjective God is the judge.

Exactly. To decide that you know better than the Church is most definitely a grave sin and one who refuses to submit to this authority is in schism. A licit Mass as decided by the Church is a licit Mass; you are obliged to attend Mass every Sunday, even if it is not “licit” in your own eyes. Not going to Mass when one is available requires a very serious reason. Contrary to the belief some people have, your own dislike of the OF is not a serious reason.

CCC 2089: . . . Schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or of communion with the members of the Church subject to him.

 

[thequeen]

We are obligated to go to mass on both Sundays and Holy days of obligation period no excuses except severe illness and if God just happens to call you home to heaven on that day.

 

[icamay]

A thought just hit me about this. I will admit - I am not patient in the world of children. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t have any, or if God has prevented me from having any because I was never taught how to be patient with them…regardless, it is what it is. But when I am in mass and there are babies and young children making noise, I intentionally divert my thoughts from “that’s annoying” to “thank you God that their mothers chose life.”

That may sound far-fetched to some, but I am shocked by the number of women I know who have had abortions. I think to myself that if only my closest friends have come forth with this, I cannot imagine how many of my casual acquaintences and coworkers have also chosen this route! So maybe that will assist with the children factor of mass…“Thank you, God, for their lives, and that they are being brought up to revere You.”

 

[ConstantineTG]

To pretend that only the TLM is the proper Mass and the new form is unacceptable is objectively grave sin: the denial of the authority of the Holy Catholic Church. Subjective God is the judge.

Agreed! Unless the only local OF you have is gravely abusive, there is really no reason one should not attend it especially if its based on one’s own personal opinion. If the Catholic Church says the OF Mass in your locale is valid, who are any of us to say otherwise?