Attending non catholic weddings?

[Landon]

A co-worker recently asked me if I thought it was wrong to attend her cousin’s wedding. She is Catholic but has left the church to marry a Baptist man in the Baptist church. I told her I thought it was wrong to attend because to attend would be disrespectful to the convenent of marriage in the eyes of the one true body of christ (church). Am I correct or should I appologise? Thanks!

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

A co-worker recently asked me if I thought it was wrong to attend her cousin’s wedding. She is Catholic but has left the church to marry a Baptist man in the Baptist church. I told her I thought it was wrong to attend because to attend would be disrespectful to the convenent of marriage in the eyes of the one true body of christ (church). Am I correct or should I appologise? Thanks!

You are correct. There would be nothing wrong in attending a Protestant wedding between two life long Protestants who have never been Married before.

 

[Landon]

But is it wrong to attend a wedding between a fallen away catholic in a non catholic church?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

But is it wrong to attend a wedding between a fallen away catholic in a non catholic church?

Yes, it would be morally wrong. Ask yourself how does doing so prompt them to realize their error and return to the Catholic faith.

 

[LilyM]

Interesting. I am shortly going to attend a wedding. I know one of the parties is Catholic and I know well that the entire family is devoutly Catholic. Nonetheless, to my surprise, the wedding is being held in a church of another denomination.

I haven’t had the chance to make enquiries as to whether the wedding is perhaps concelebrated with a Catholic priest in the other denomination’s church? I don’t even know whether this would be permitted.

 

[proudnifi]

I don’t know which other religion is involved, but it’s possible for a Catholic to receive a dispensation to marry someone from another religion and also to get married in a non-Catholic ceremony. For the Latin-rite Catholics, a priest does not have to be present (in the Catholic ceremony, the couple administers the sacrament to each other).

 

[LilyM]

It’s a uniquely Australian institution called the Uniting Church - Australia’s Methodists, Presbyterians and Congregationalists joined together in 1977 (presumably to pool their resources and their smallish congregations).

My older sister married a Lutheran - this was in Germany though. It was concelebrated between the Lutheran minister and the Catholic priest (though it was in the Catholic church).

In a purely Catholic ceremony of course either a priest or deacon can preside - I didn’t think they’d be happy to let ministers of other denominations muscle in on their turf with a Catholic-non Catholic wedding though

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Interesting. I am shortly going to attend a wedding. I know one of the parties is Catholic and I know well that the entire family is devoutly Catholic. Nonetheless, to my surprise, the wedding is being held in a church of another denomination.

I haven’t had the chance to make enquiries as to whether the wedding is perhaps concelebrated with a Catholic priest in the other denomination’s church? I don’t even know whether this would be permitted.

Take care that during their pre-marriage preparation that the permission of the Bishop was not asked for and granted to allow the wedding to take place in another church.

You could start by asking "Did you meet with Fr. “Smith” for you pre-Marriage requirements. If the answer is “No we didn’t bother with the pre-Marriage stuff because we were not planning to marry in the Catholic Church anyway” That is a clue!

Or was it difficult to get the Bishops permission to have the weddiing in the XYZ church, instead of the Catholic Church?

 

[JimG]

Yes, it would be morally wrong. Ask yourself how does doing so prompt them to realize their error and return to the Catholic faith.

But many Catholics have left the Church long before they get married. They are in effect non-Catholics marrying non-Catholics. Quite often of late I see the non-Catholic children of Catholic parents getting married to other non-Catholics in Protestant services. If Catholics are not to attend these weddings (including the parents?) there are going to be a lot of missing relatives.

Even in the case of a formally schismatic Catholic, I don’t see how skipping the wedding encourages them to return to the Church.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

But many Catholics have left the Church long before they get married. They are in effect non-Catholics marrying non-Catholics. Quite often of late I see the non-Catholic children of Catholic parents getting married to other non-Catholics in Protestant services. If Catholics are not to attend these weddings (including the parents?) there are going to be a lot of missing relatives.

Even in the case of a formally schismatic Catholic, I don’t see how skipping the wedding encourages them to return to the Church.

I don’t see how attending points out their error either. It seems it is more of a slight approval of sorts. Let me wish you well on your new adulterous relationship or your invalid Marriage? How does that help set in reality?

Noting my other answer, this does not apply to a Catholic who has formally left the Catholic faith and joined another religion. Such as, I said two Protestants marrying in a Protestant church, who have never been married before.

 

[jemfinch]

Can someone quote canon law or similar on this issue?

I’ve got a similar issue coming up where my wife has been asked (and has agreed) to be the matron of honor for one of her friends who was raised (and baptized) Catholic, but who hasn’t regularly attended Catholic mass for years, and has been practicing as a Protestant.

If I’m not going to attend the wedding, I’m going to need support better than just word of mouth.

Jeremy

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Can someone quote canon law or similar on this issue?

I’ve got a similar issue coming up where my wife has been asked (and has agreed) to be the matron of honor for one of her friends who was raised (and baptized) Catholic, but who hasn’t regularly attended Catholic mass for years, and has been practicing as a Protestant.

If I’m not going to attend the wedding, I’m going to need support better than just word of mouth.

Jeremy

As I said in my original answer it is a moral question of conscience. It is not a Canon Law or Doctrinal question. How does your presence help the sinner realize their spiritual error?

 

[JimG]

I don’t see how attending points out their error either. It seems it is more of a slight approval of sorts. Let me wish you well on your new adulterous relationship or your invalid Marriage? How does that help set in reality?

Noting my other answer, this does not apply to a Catholic who has formally left the Catholic faith and joined another religion. Such as, I said two Protestants marrying in a Protestant church, who have never been married before.

I guess it comes down to a question of how does one know whether or not someone has formally left the Catholic faith and joined another religion. If they have joined another religion, then it’s ok to attend, if they’re just a lapsed Catholic, it’s not? Seems like a rather subtle distinction in many situations.

 

[jemfinch]

I guess it comes down to a question of how does one know whether or not someone has formally left the Catholic faith and joined another religion.

They have to write a letter to their bishop and formally leave the Church. Jimmy Akin wrote about it here. There’s a paper linked from that article which is the official Vatican stance on the issue.

Jeremy

 

[jemfinch]

As I said in my original answer it is a moral question of conscience. It is not a Canon Law or Doctrinal question. How does your presence help the sinner realize their spiritual error?

How does my lack of presence do more than just saying, “You really ought to be getting married in the Catholic Church”?

I think it’s a situation similar to my mom’s attendance at my Chrismation. She didn’t agree with my joining the Catholic Church, but she still came to my Chrismation. Do you think she should have chosen not to come?

Jeremy

 

[JimG]

They have to write a letter to their bishop and formally leave the Church. Jimmy Akin wrote about it here. There’s a paper linked from that article which is the official Vatican stance on the issue.

Jeremy

Not to take issue with either Jimm Akin or the Vatican, but in actuality, there are many people who have left the Church and even joined other denominations without writing a letter to the Bishop!

 

[jemfinch]

Not to take issue with either Jimm Akin or the Vatican, but in actuality, there are many people who have left the Church and even joined other denominations without writing a letter to the Bishop!

Absolutely! But they haven’t formally ceased to be Catholic until they write a letter to their bishop.

Jeremy

 

[Doxiemom]

NOw, let me get this straight.

Two Christians are getting married in a Christian Church and by a Christian clergy . Ok, one used to be Roman Catholic, but now attends another Christian denomination- not a satanic coven but a Christian Church. And to attend this Christian ceremony is somehow immoral?

When are we ever going to begin to truely love one another as Jesus commanded us to?

Doxiemom

 

[Landon]

Doxiemom,
I am the originator of this post and this is the situation. I feel as a Catholic that if I attend a wedding between two people and one is Catholic but chooses to not get married in the Catholic church then they are disrespecting the church that christ founded.

Christ founded ONE church. Is is a spiritual church or a real physical church? Well, he tell us to take our issues to the church if we have an argument with our brother. How can we do so if it is a spiritual church?

Its either one church that has been in existance since the resurrection. The only one I know of is the Catholic church.

If not then you are saying that its ok to get married in any church. I approve that doctrine doesn’t have to agree. I approve of individual authority to interpret scripture as ANYONE sees fit.
As long as well all love Jesus its all OK. Where in scripture is that teaching? As long as he is our personal lord an savior It doesn’t matter? Where does that come from? These are teachings made by man. These are man made traditions. I grew up confused by the protestant man made doctrine. Now that I have the fullness of truth from the Catholic church I can’t support a Catholic who doesn’t appreciate his/her faith get married in another church. I know they are young adults who don’t consider such topics but I hope one day they may think about why members of their family didn’t attend their wedding. Because they walked away from the fullness of truth as a matter of convience due to selfishness with little consideration to sacred scripture of sacred tradition.

 

[JimG]

It sounds as though, if I am invited to a wedding ivolving a non-Catholic and a former Catholic, I might, along with my RSVP, need to present the former Catholic with a form letter to the bishop, with a note that ‘I can attend your wedding, if you’ll just sign this letter formally rejecting the Catholic faith and mail it to the bishop.’