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GraceDK
Guest
Shanny…Let me pose a question if I may…
In reading these responses, it is obviously VERY important to some the status of a potential spouses virginity. I can understand that. But, I am wondering if it would make a difference if the person lost their virginity in a licit way (in marriage) or if under what circumstances matters at all?? Would it only be a problem for you if they lost their virginity illicitly? Or is it just that they are not virgins period that makes a difference?
I am truly just curious as to opinion here not trying to bait anyone…
My own oppinion is that it matters… not that it matters in the sense that I could leave a man I already loved, or even not give him a chance to have me in the first place… I always expect young men to have some sexual wounds from the past… If they dont I see it as a gift and and an exeption to thank God for.
However, this does not mean there are things that wouldn’t be hurtful to know. I dont have much sexual experience and what I had was very short and remorseful… I can honestly say that the moment of losing my virginity was the worst moment I have had in my life and one that I did not give green light to. I put my self into a really bad situation with a man I madly desired. Its the single most stupid thing I have done in my life and I still pay for it.
But if a man whom I loved said to me “I did it for years… all kinds of different sexual stuff, you name it, I’ve done it… I have been with several people”… then of course that would hurt me to find out. He would hurt while telling it to me too, and be comitted to it never happening again… and that would be the end of that conversation… I would know more what what had made him into the person I now liked. I know some people give their loved ones a guilttrip once in a while during their marriage during arguments and such… I cant say how distasteful I find that.
I speak of experience here; a person can have had others in the past but if you know that it is indeed in the past and you can feel that he is truly in love with you and you only, then the bitterness dissapears… Love makes all things new. I did not think it was possible until I tried this kind of love… thats a love that says “But is YOU that I want!”.
So to make it short. It matters how he lost his virginity but mainly because that it is his story** … not because it changes his worth as a person who has been washed in the Blood.
If Christ can dwell in him… then I wont say no to a unity with him if we otherwise love one another and are comitted to following God… I will meet a person… not whom he was in the past but who he is now, because that is how I prefer to be treated my self.
Being Christian is about being free and allowing others to be the same.