Attitude towards infrequent church goers

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carol marie:
is it wrong to say “we’re going to church??”
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I just use it to differentiate between the Mass and a church service. Its not wrong. I like to emphasize the Eucharist. I think it will be helpful to my girls if they are ever invited to a protestant service. There is nothing that compares or comes close to the Mass.
 
Anna Elizabeth:
OK, carol marie, We don’t judge the those people. What are we supposed to say or think or do about their reception of Holy Communion, hmmmm? :confused: Just ignore it? Is that loving one’s neighbor? :confused:

Do such people validate the actions of others who do this sort of thing all the time? Do these people give scandal? And do we give scandal if we “compassionately,” “lovingly” and “non-judgmentally” overlook their actions saying, “At least they’re coming”? :confused:

What to do? :confused:

:crying:

Anna
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What CAN you do? Pelt them with hymnals? Give them dirty looks? Cut them off in the parking lot so maybe they won’t come back? And as far as the Holy Communion goes, maybe that sort of problem is best left up to the Priest? Maybe he could lovingly speak to them at another time? He can’t very well deny them because if he started doing THAT, denying those who haven’t been to confession lately, he’d have to probably deny ALOT! And what about those politicians who support abortion… they receive communion. I’d be fussing about them if i was going to fuss about anybody… not someone who only comes to church twice a year. That’s between them & God.
 
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rarndt01:
I attend church in Ohio and yesterday in our parish bulletin I read that in our county, NOT the city where I attend church, but the whole county, only 35% of Catholic members attend mass on a regular basis throughout the year. Wow! It sure seems like the above poster is correct in saying the church is only packed on holidays and during a time of national crisis(like 9/11). It’s really sad. But the question that I wonder is, why don’t Catholics want to come to church?
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Hi fellow Ohioan. I have a brother in law that is a Nazarene minister, and we discuss religion once in a while. He said that most other churches have this same problem. About a 30-50% attendence. He really doesn’t know why, but like me, he calls them santa clauses and easter bunnys because they only show up once a year. My every optomistic wife always says that’s better than not showing up at all. I guess she’s right. That one time may turn their whole life in a different direction, you never know. God bless them, and all of us.
 
Anna Elizabeth,
I don’t know if there is really much we can do. It is out of our hands. We can only offer prayers. Those people are ignorent of the magnificant gift the Lord has given us. They are like a blind man who has not seen a beautiful sunset. They do deserve our compassion and prayers.

But, I’m am a selfish and self-centered woman, and it is for my own serenity that I try not to judge them. It was disturbing me so greatly to observe the abuse of the Blessed Sacrament in this unlawful and disrespectful way. I had to protect myself and try and ignore this possible sacrelige. What could I do??? I asked God to bring me peace about it and he did. Bless his Holy name!

“Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins and save us from the fires of Hell. Lead all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of thy mercy”
 
carol marie:
What CAN you do? Pelt them with hymnals? Give them dirty looks? Cut them off in the parking lot so maybe they won’t come back? …
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the old standby is park your butt in your usual pew and refuse to move over to allow latecomers to sit, Catholic indignation and judgementalism at its finest.

think we all need a peek at the gospel about the wedding banquet, pulling them in from the highways, byways and hedgerows because the invited guests did not attend, having made their lame excuses to the King, remembering of course the fate of one who showed up without a proper wedding garment. Wailing and gnashing of teeth, now would that be the “good Catholics” who are always in Church bitching because they have to squeeze in to accommodate visitors, or would it be the regulars in a snit because they were a little late and had to stand in back.

I am usually visiting family at holiday time, and my kids live in diocese where liturgical abuse has been enshrined as tradition for 40 years so I can seldom figure out just what is going on so I must look like a refugee from Planet Hasn’t Been in Church Since 1962.
 
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HumbleObedience:
But, I’m am a selfish and self-centered woman, and it is for my own serenity that I try not to judge them. It was disturbing me so greatly to observe the abuse of the Blessed Sacrament in this unlawful and disrespectful way. I had to protect myself and try and ignore this possible sacrelige. What could I do??? I asked God to bring me peace about it and he did. Bless his Holy name!

“Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins and save us from the fires of Hell. Lead all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of thy mercy”
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Dear HumbleObedience,

Thank you for pointing out that judging is a risk for the person doing the judging, not the one judged.

Yes, there may be a possible sacrilege, but maybe not. Also, in many parishes there is a big penitence service just before Christmas and Easter, so who knows, maybe a lot of them showed up. I certainly wouldn’t bet that the “regulars,” statistically speaking, are any less prone to mortal sin than the “occasionals,” particularly if the “regulars” sinned right there during Mass and probably on their way up the aisle to receive the Eucharist harboring anger and judgment against the others present.

Alan
 
With regard to those going up to receive the Eucharist…do we really know that they haven’t been to Confession? They may have been to Confession somewhere else, or maybe on a different day. Priests will hear Confessions by appointment if needed. Jesus taught us to pray “…and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Let’s try to welcome them warmly, and maybe they’ll come back again! 🙂

Peace,
Linda
 
Anna Elizabeth:
OK, carol marie, We don’t judge the those people. What are we supposed to say or think or do about their reception of Holy Communion, hmmmm? :confused: Just ignore it? Is that loving one’s neighbor? :confused:
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Yes. Judge not and you shall not be judged.

If you know personally someone who may be considering going to communion outside the state of grace, and are close enough (of if they ask you about it) I think you can also love your neighbor by suggesting they avail themselves of penance.
Do such people validate the actions of others who do this sort of thing all the time? Do these people give scandal? And do we give scandal if we “compassionately,” “lovingly” and “non-judgmentally” overlook their actions saying, “At least they’re coming”? :confused:
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No, it does not give scandal to welcome the lost sheep or the returning prodigal son. How do you know, though, that there even is anything to “overlook” unless you know for a fact that they did not receive penance before coming to this Mass or were attending elsewhere?

Statistically speaking, you probably can condemn a good number of them but which ones? That is the problem. Good thing it isn’t up to us to judge individual souls.
What to do? :confused:

:crying:
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Good question. Being confused, IMO, is better than being certain of oneself to the point of becoming condescending, and crying may certainly be a valid human response both to the sorrow of those who are seemingly permanently lost and joy for those who might be found again.

Alan
 
Hi Davy39

Greetings in the name of Jesus and our blessed Mother Mary

Actually all churches in Ohio are not lacking regular attendance. The Baptist churches are PACKED. I know, I was formerly one myself, as you know, if you read my posts. But our dear Lord does not look at numbers, as much as he sees the heart. What is OUR intent for attending mass? That is the real issue. Some say, we go to just receive Jesus. But there is more than that. We go to PRAISE Jesus as well through singing and in our responses. Also we seek out other Catholics who might be interested in taking the time to say “Hello”. At my church everyone piles out as fast as they can to the parking lot to go home. That is sad. There is no intermingling, except at our raffle-dinners.

Perhaps this is the reason why many do not attend. My wife who does not go at all, said to me once, “I used to go, but no one even noticed I was there. So why go?” I told her, because we go to worship the Lord and receive him in the Eucharist. But she said, but aren’t Catholics suppose to be friendly to? I could say nothing, because she was right.

In our church the Catholic lay people don’t greet anyone, but pile in quietly and leave in a hurry quietly. Maybe, if things were more friendly and open, MORE hurting people would come. What do you say brother? God bless you this day.

Ron from Ohio
 
I was raised in an infrequent church growing up. Now I go all the time, alot of these people are embarassed that they don’t know what is going on. I’m sure they would love to get into the loop. Maybe out of concern, you can bring it up to the pastor and create special program/missallettes or welcome packets for Catholics who might not be registered at the parish for the holiday season so infequent church goers can follow along and understand better.
 
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JGC:
These people may be there because a small flame has been kindled. It’s our job to help fan the flame, not throw a bucket of cold water over it!
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Amen! I am praying for a re-version and softening of heart for the man I love and would be thrilled to death if he decided to go to church just a few times a year.

May the Holy Spirit seize these opportunities to kindle the flame.
 
Like other people are saying, don’t be upset they are there, be happy they are there experiencing God. Make them welcome. At least they may have faith the side of the mustard seed. It just need germination and may grow.

I was also a Christmas/Easter Catholic. A priest I use to know called it a Cheaster Catholic. A play on Christmas/Easter and cheater. Now I am back. If I was treated rude while I was gone I might not have ever come back.

I get annoyed that it is tough to find a seat but at least they are there. I was thinking of a way to make everyone happy. I thought one way would be to have the normal Masses on those days published but at the last minute ADD a Mass and only announce it at Mass. That way the only people that know about the new Mass are people that attend.

Since I usher at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception I always find it interesting when people come to the Vigil Christmas or Easter Masses. You never seen so many rude people attending Mass. People that come in half an hour late, expecting seats up front. People expecting you to go out of your way to help them because of some reason. People upset that they are late for Mass because they never bothered to check what time Mass began, etc. But we always welcome them into the church with a smile, but may have to say, “Sorry you can’t sit up front, all the seats have been taken.”
 
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jrabs:
Amen! I am praying for a re-version and softening of heart for the man I love and would be thrilled to death if he decided to go to church just a few times a year.

May the Holy Spirit seize these opportunities to kindle the flame.
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Ditto for me! My husband is alienated from the church since he had a traumatic experience in Catholic school as a child and refuses to go to Mass or confession. I, being a convert, who found the faith on my own thanks to the Lord’s grace and drawing me to the Church, am praying for a re-version and softening of the heart for my husband and I will keep you in my prayers also!

I would also add the fact that in my Archdiocese 82 parishes are closing due to financial troubles and dwindling attendance at Mass, including my own parish, and many of our parishioners who were not faithful massgoers before and who don’t contribute much financially are in disbelief to see their churches taken away. Attendance is up now that they are trying to appeal the closures but it is not going to affect the decision of the Archdiocese at this late date. If people do not go to Mass, the churches will close. Many of our faithful Massgoers have trouble getting to church now because they are handicapped and will not be able to find a new parish that they can get to that has handicapped access. It’s so sad.

Blessings,
MysticaAngel
 
Uh oh - I must be in serious trouble here, according to what everyone’s been saying - I’ve only ever been to mass once, about 5 years ago.

As I recall, the friends I went with told me not to eat the little white paper thing (I can’t remember the proper name for it, sorry), nor to drink the wine. :confused:
 
I know Cosmo has been banned, you can review his previous posts to see why. I think it is Cosmo’s attitude is how we can become frustrated. The lack in the attempt to be respectful. Here is a person on this board with little to no interest in knowing what Catholics believe, he rather just run off endless questions, instead of listening and learning. He just wants to hear himself talk, then gets upset when he doesn’t get the answer he wants.

Now tryig to bring it back into the topic at hand, to one extent or another we have all been in Cosmo’s position. Unable to sit back, and just absorb what is around us. Infequent church goers suffer from this problem. They get restless with the point of view of “What is in it for me?” It is a true definition on blindness. Everythign is in front of them, but eyes are shut because it isn’t what they think it should be. It isn’t about what should be, but what is.

As in Cosmo’s post he was more concern that he wasn’t getting “that white paper thing” instead of being more concerned of what “that white paper thing” was. Now if he just took a moment to read a thread that wasn’t about himself, he would of known the name. How common in our culture, we are always upset if we are out of the loop. But we take no initiative to be in the loop, some how things should come to us on demand.

We live in a on demand society, we take no consideration of process and care and want it now. With the internet I can have anything I want on my door step within 24-48 hours. In Cosmo’s previous posts and with infequent church goers a common question is, Why doesn’t God just pop out of the blue and say “I love you.” And I have to ask why don’t you just stop by Church say “Thanks God for everything, I love you.”

I guess a person’s failure to show love for God, can show in personal relationships. You can’t demand love or hate from another human being. No matter what you do, you can’t force another to love or hate you. You might enslave them and physically threaten them but you can’t change their heart. God loves everyone, it is a question are you willing to open up your heart and love God.
 
Not much to add…

I have thought about this in the past and got annoyed.

Now - I’ve decided it’s not up to me to worry or even think about who’s there or whether or not they are properly disposed to receive Holy Communion. At the end of the day you or I will never know whether they are or not. I have, in the past, noticed a similar trend at funerals.

I spent time, seven or eight years, away from the Church myself and would only turn up on the important holidays because I felt some ‘need’ to go and be part of it.

Also people tend to attend the ‘main’ liturgies at Christmas and Easter. There will be more people at midnight Mass and at the Easter Vigil than any of the other celebrations of those days. If you don’t attend them all, you can’t really tell if they’re ALL busier, or just the ones you’ve been at. All the ones you haven’t been to could be quieter!

I try to pray often for the people who don’t come to church regularly, that they may return. If they’re anything like I was, they’ll need all the prayers they can get.

And be happy when you see someone at church you don’t recognise, or who hasn’t been there for a long time.

Peace

Vince
 
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VincentO:
I try to pray often for the people who don’t come to church regularly, that they may return. If they’re anything like I was, they’ll need all the prayers they can get.

And be happy when you see someone at church you don’t recognise, or who hasn’t been there for a long time.
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Dear Vince,

What a beautiful post! :crying: (So I get emotional sometimes.)

Welcome back, and thank you for sharing your story! :dancing:

:blessyou:

Alan ❤️
 
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rarndt01:
Hi Davy39

Greetings in the name of Jesus and our blessed Mother Mary

Actually all churches in Ohio are not lacking regular attendance. The Baptist churches are PACKED. I know, I was formerly one myself, as you know, if you read my posts. But our dear Lord does not look at numbers, as much as he sees the heart. What is OUR intent for attending mass? That is the real issue. Some say, we go to just receive Jesus. But there is more than that. We go to PRAISE Jesus as well through singing and in our responses. Also we seek out other Catholics who might be interested in taking the time to say “Hello”. At my church everyone piles out as fast as they can to the parking lot to go home. That is sad. There is no intermingling, except at our raffle-dinners.

Perhaps this is the reason why many do not attend. My wife who does not go at all, said to me once, “I used to go, but no one even noticed I was there. So why go?” I told her, because we go to worship the Lord and receive him in the Eucharist. But she said, but aren’t Catholics suppose to be friendly to? I could say nothing, because she was right.

In our church the Catholic lay people don’t greet anyone, but pile in quietly and leave in a hurry quietly. Maybe, if things were more friendly and open, MORE hurting people would come. What do you say brother? God bless you this day.

Ron from Ohio
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Hi again Ron, You are entirely right. People at our church head for the exits as if the church was on fire. We have attended the same church for about 10 years now, and we are just getting to know some of the members. We were even on pastoral council for 3 years, but that didn’t seem to help. By and large, I think we leave a lot to be disired as far as being friendly to other people. I never expected people to fall all over us, but a simple good morning or a handshake would be nice. My wife, who was a church of christ member before she joined the church, even commented about how unfriendly the people were. Maybe it’s just a sign of the times. I just don’t know. God bless you. Dave from Montpelier, the home of the worlds best municipal drinking water. (a plug for the town)
 
Or I look like I am.

I go to Mass at a different church almost every week for most of the year.

It is interesting to see the difference between churches. Some welcome strangers like they were family. Others ignore people they don’t know and point at me when they think I can’t see them.

I think that it is wrong to judge people’s intentions and the state of their heart when you don’t know anything about them.
 
Thanks for all your help. As for this Christmas I’m going to try not to judge these people. You all brought up many good points that really are going to make me try my hardest not to criticize these people.

Thanks so much! 🙂 Sorry for the delayed thanks.

Feel free to continue posting
 
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