Attracted to a Priest

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augustine14

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I am an 18 year old female freshmen at a Catholic college. I was raised Catholic and have always considered myself a believer but recently by looking in the Bible I have come to see the gravity of every sin and the serious, life-altering commitment that being a good Christian is. Consequently, I decided to get more serious about being a true Catholic. Part of this has been attending mass once a week at the main church on campus. However, I have developed feelings of attraction to the priest whose mass I go to.

The first time I went to his mass I noticed that he was young and attractive, and my feelings have only grown from there. When he mentions in his homilies his previous position teaching a Bible studies class at a seminary, I find myself admiring his intellect and service. I eagerly look forward to mass because I know I will get to see him. However, my feelings also have a more sinful side. I get a thrill from being close to him or shaking his hand. I sit in church and try to focus on praying, but all I can think about is my attraction him. At the same time I am repulsed by myself having lustful thoughts about a representative of Jesus in God’s own house. Once after taking communion it occurred to me that it was vaguely erotic that I put something in my mouth that his hands touched, and was overcome by revulsion at myself. I have left mass feeling sick to my stomach about the fact that I am polluting, misusing, and disrespecting the church with my own sin and lust, yet I can’t tear myself away. Even out of church I often feel desire for him.

I know that God is within me and I have the power to choose not to sin, but I want to indulge in my lust so badly, even though I feel terrible about it afterwards.

I haven’t admitted this to anyone I know because I am way to embarrassed, but I know I need some help and guidance in getting over this.

*I don’t think this priest can tell that I’m attracted to him, but I’m sot sure. I try to hide it. Also, a couple of times he has done small things that have made me think he may be at least a little attracted to me too, but this is most likely my girlish imagination.
 
I once heard of a woman who said “too bad Fr. so and so is a priest… he’s so handsome!” It’s like “oh well, get over it; he’s a priest!” 🤷 It sounds like you’re obsessing over this just a bit too much. In my mind the real problem would begin if those feelings of repulsion over such thoughts are lost.
 
OP: you will have to wait til Francis abolishes the celibacy requirement for priests. Its not too far off. In the meantime, stay away from even dwelling on such thoughts lest you commit the mortal sin of lustful thoughts
 
I once heard of a woman who said “too bad Fr. so and so is a priest… he’s so handsome!” It’s like “oh well, get over it; he’s a priest!” 🤷

You may be obsessing over this just a bit too much. In my mind the real problem would begin if those feelings of repulsion over such thoughts were lost.
blaskoman said:
OP: you will have to wait til Francis abolishes the celibacy requirement for priests. Its not too far off. In the meantime, stay away from even dwelling on such thoughts lest you commit the mortal sin of lustful thoughts
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:confused: Even if this did happen, which I’m not holding my breath for, married men would be allowed to be ordained but ordained men would not be allowed to marry.
 
augustine14 said:
I am an 18 year old female freshmen at a Catholic college. I was raised Catholic and have always considered myself a believer but recently by looking in the Bible I have come to see the gravity of every sin and the serious, life-altering commitment that being a good Christian is. Consequently, I decided to get more serious about being a true Catholic. Part of this has been attending mass once a week at the main church on campus. However, I have developed feelings of attraction to the priest whose mass I go to.

The first time I went to his mass I noticed that he was young and attractive, and my feelings have only grown from there. When he mentions in his homilies his previous position teaching a Bible studies class at a seminary, I find myself admiring his intellect and service. I eagerly look forward to mass because I know I will get to see him. However, my feelings also have a more sinful side. I get a thrill from being close to him or shaking his hand. I sit in church and try to focus on praying, but all I can think about is my attraction him. At the same time I am repulsed by myself having lustful thoughts about a representative of Jesus in God’s own house. Once after taking communion it occurred to me that it was vaguely erotic that I put something in my mouth that his hands touched, and was overcome by revulsion at myself. I have left mass feeling sick to my stomach about the fact that I am polluting, misusing, and disrespecting the church with my own sin and lust, yet I can’t tear myself away. Even out of church I often feel desire for him.

I know that God is within me and I have the power to choose not to sin, but I want to indulge in my lust so badly, even though I feel terrible about it afterwards.

I haven’t admitted this to anyone I know because I am way to embarrassed, but I know I need some help and guidance in getting over this.

*I don’t think this priest can tell that I’m attracted to him, but I’m sot sure. I try to hide it. Also, a couple of times he has done small things that have made me think he may be at least a little attracted to me too, but this is most likely my girlish imagination.
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Avoidance is generally the first line of defense, in my opinion. Is that possible?
 
ClearWater said:
Avoidance is generally the first line of defense, in my opinion. Is that possible?
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This is natural attraction , Best to avoid a situation that may cause future embarrassment for yourself or the Priest involved, he may very well be aware that ladies could be attracted to him, and might not be polite when he tells you he is not interested , Avoidance is best ,
 
Find another Mass immediately. Best for all concerned. Good you are treating your faith as important in your life. Let your conscience guide you away from an occasion of sin. God Bless you in your strength.
 
Seems to me you have recently begun to accept God’s grace working within you only to be targeted by temptation. Please don’t blow this chance to grow in faith and proceed upon the path to holiness. Please don’t assume you can put it off. That’s a mistake. Avoiding sin is what matters. Take the journey to sanctity. Listen to the Holy Spirit. The Lord found you and you are turning away.
Practically, you need to avoid this person because for you, he’s a near occasion of sin. (Lord, forgive me for saying that about Your holy priest). This will also remove the guilt. Please stop offending our loving Savior by choosing sin instead of His mercy. You have freedom to choose God’s will.
This is all easy but your mind is deceiving you.
If I were you I would take myself to confession at a different parish with a screen between you and Jesus and unburden yourself with these chains so you can continue your priceless journey.
 
My brother, The Fraggle, read me your post and I have to say I felt for you and your
situation. I am a former missionary and college professor. First of all, don’t be too hard
on yourself. God bless you for attending Holy Mass, receiving the good God, and getting
serious about your faith. That being said, it is mildly serious to want a reaction or response
from the young priest from your apparent attraction. I wouldn’t so much focus on sin as yet, but what to do and not do.
Thoughts are a nutty thing, they come and go. Some belong to temptation, others growth,
while others perhaps psychology. Again, be at peace. You are young, how you feel now is not how you shall feel in say 6 mos, 1 year or 10. I found the advice to wait for the Pope to allow Roman priests to marry as repugnant. He is a married man, to the Church. His vow is for life. And that’s all there is to it. Can you get over this attraction? Possibly with sound advice from friends and prayer. Should you look to flirt. No. But again, amongst the young thoughts and hormones may rage. Pray the rosary. Find a good confessor. If your attraction is still overbearing, maybe finding a Mass off campus may suit you better and help your prayer life. Lastly, finding a good Catholic young man to date and marry is a fine thing. But you are young … no hurry.
May Mary be with you…
 
You should avoid him, for his sake and for yours. There is no easy way to stop physical attraction. Just avoid him and go to Mass elsewhere.
 
Your user name reminds me; I suggest you read the Confessions. It might give you an understanding of the nature of sin from St. Augustine’s point of view.

As the others have said, if you can go to a different mass, please try to do so.
 
PaulfromIowa said:
You should avoid him, for his sake and for yours. There is no easy way to stop physical attraction. Just avoid him and go to Mass elsewhere.
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I agree with this. It’ll just continue causing you distress if you keep seeing him, and at some point he may get an inkling of how you feel which would be embarrassing for both of you. He’s not available and he has pledged to remain celibate, so please try to move on.

Many priests have very engaging personalities, as the good ones often have highly-honed interpersonal skills. It’s his job to make personal connections with the young people who attend Mass, and it must be hard for a young man who is working mostly with people around his own age, as he’s only human, too. However, he’s taken vows, as you are well aware.

It’s not unusual for people to be attracted to someone whom they can never be with, so don’t chastise yourself too much - just be sensible, and remove yourself from the temptation. There are many handsome, charming young men out there who are free to marry. 🙂
 
The same as if you were attracted to a married man at the office, you have to do absolutely nothing about your feelings for him, and/or leave the vicinity of the temptation. No other options are available to you.
 
Please do not attend Mass there again. Find another church in your area to attend. Meet with the Priest there. He should be able to help you. You need a lot of prayer. I’m praying for you.
 
Ask our Blessed Mother daily to intercede for you that you may focus on Jesus.

Stop the temptation in its tracks…attend a different Mass.
 
He is not yours to have. He belongs to God. You must rid yourself of any thoughts of him even if that means you go to Mass elsewhere. God must come first.
 
ServusHumilis said:
I once heard of a woman who said “too bad Fr. so and so is a priest… he’s so handsome!” It’s like “oh well, get over it; he’s a priest!” 🤷

You may be obsessing over this just a bit too much. In my mind the real problem would begin if those feelings of repulsion over such thoughts were lost.

:confused: Even if this did happen, which I’m not holding my breath for, married men would be allowed to be ordained but ordained men would not be allowed to marry.
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I wouldn’t hold my breath either way!! Go to another Mass by a different priest, and offer it up. Talk to a priest in confession… God Bless, Memaw
 
Memaw said:
I wouldn’t hold my breath either way!! Go to another Mass by a different priest, and offer it up. Talk to a priest in confession… God Bless, Memaw
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Seems to be the consensus and definitely not a bad idea!
 
A priest in our area is sometimes referred to as “Fr. What A Waste” because of his good looks. I guess the ladies think he would make a better husband than Fr… He is an excellent priest.🙂
 
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