Attraction or Scruples?

[VA1993]

As a college student away from home, I have been going to a different parish for a few years. The pastor is incredibly intelligent, kind with the students, and genuinely takes an interest in the lives of the students and parishioners who all adore him. I have total respect and admiration for him. I have two friends that are interested in converting and because of a lack of English-speaking priests at this parish, the pastor has been kind enough to provide me with his Sunday Mass schedule every week; my friends look forward to learning something from his homilies.

However, I have started to notice, that I’ve been thinking about him a lot. I don’t know why, but throughout the day I am frequently plagued with thoughts of him, both pure and impure. I believe these thoughts are involuntary and I quickly push them away, knowing that I have no desire to act on any of these thoughts. I would not say that I am attracted to him, but whenever I see him, I get excited; happy to be in his presence.

He has also offered to be my spiritual director and during our monthly meetings I do not have any of these impure thoughts. I get a bit nervous beforehand, but he’s a bit intimidating and since it’s personal spiritual conversations that we have, I think that may be the reason. Like I said before, I have no desire to act on any of my impure thoughts, but it concerns me that he’s on my mind so much throughout the day and it has started to discourage me from seeing him for direction.

I have been suffering from scruples and I know that makes me vulnerable to feelings of imperfection that the Devil causes. I also think that the Devil may be causing these thoughts as a way to discourage me from continuing spiritual direction and helping my friends learn about Catholicism by receiving the Mass schedule. What do you all think about that? Do you think that I am simply being scrupulous and these are thoughts deliberately placed by Satan to hinder both mine and my friends spiritual growth? Do I just really admire his knowledge and care for both myself and the students or is there an attraction there? I don’t want to stop communication with him because he has developed a great friendship with my two friends and has been a very helpful spiritual director for me. I look up to him a lot, but ultimately I don’t want to be feeling anything inappropriate.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post

 

[houston1]

As a college student away from home, I have been going to a different parish for a few years. The pastor is incredibly intelligent, kind with the students, and genuinely takes an interest in the lives of the students and parishioners who all adore him. I have total respect and admiration for him. I have two friends that are interested in converting and because of a lack of English-speaking priests at this parish, the pastor has been kind enough to provide me with his Sunday Mass schedule every week; my friends look forward to learning something from his homilies.

However, I have started to notice, that I’ve been thinking about him a lot. I don’t know why, but throughout the day I am frequently plagued with thoughts of him, both pure and impure. I believe these thoughts are involuntary and I quickly push them away, knowing that I have no desire to act on any of these thoughts. I would not say that I am attracted to him, but whenever I see him, I get excited; happy to be in his presence.

He has also offered to be my spiritual director and during our monthly meetings I do not have any of these impure thoughts. I get a bit nervous beforehand, but he’s a bit intimidating and since it’s personal spiritual conversations that we have, I think that may be the reason. Like I said before, I have no desire to act on any of my impure thoughts, but it concerns me that he’s on my mind so much throughout the day and it has started to discourage me from seeing him for direction.

I have been suffering from scruples and I know that makes me vulnerable to feelings of imperfection that the Devil causes. I also think that the Devil may be causing these thoughts as a way to discourage me from continuing spiritual direction and helping my friends learn about Catholicism by receiving the Mass schedule. What do you all think about that? Do you think that I am simply being scrupulous and these are thoughts deliberately placed by Satan to hinder both mine and my friends spiritual growth? Do I just really admire his knowledge and care for both myself and the students or is there an attraction there? I don’t want to stop communication with him because he has developed a great friendship with my two friends and has been a very helpful spiritual director for me. I look up to him a lot, but ultimately I don’t want to be feeling anything inappropriate.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post

OP,

Yes, I have personal experience with this and still face this now over two and a half years later. Through the grace of God, I am allowing Him to use my attraction to this priest for His glory. I am at peace and have no qualms about my attraction.

I responded to another person who was attracted to a priest and I’ve attached a link to the post (I responded to her two different times and strongly disagreed with the advice given by many of the other posters).

In short, continue receiving spiritual direction from this priest if you find him helpful. It should come as no surprise that persons who are seeking to become holy are attracted to others who are doing the same. This applies even to attractions of a sexual nature. You are correct in thinking that the enemy is using this to discourage you from receiving spiritual direction. Please don’t be confused in thinking that you are somehow putting yourself in a near occasion of sin either. The enemy of our souls is very clever in the tactics that he uses to confuse those striving for holiness. And, note . . . sexual attraction is not a sin, even to “unavailable” persons. It is how one acts upon this sexual desire that distinguishes its sinfulness.

I suggest that you use this attraction for God’s glory just like I continue to do in my situation. God may be using this attraction to attract you to accomplish His work with somehow working with this priest. Keep an open and prayerful mind. Nothing is lost. Be at peace.

Remember. God loves you and no one can take you out of His loving and protective arms.

houston1
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=928625&page=2

 

[VA1993]

Thank you so much for the reply, houston1. You said exactly what I needed to hear. As you said, when we are striving for holiness, we are naturally attracted to those doing the same and this priest very much challenges me spiritually and I know that the Devil is doing everything he can to stop my spiritual growth. I will continue to pray to the Blessed Mother to protect me from these thoughts and give me the courage to continue my direction with this priest.

Your comment that God may be using this certain priest to accomplish His will in my life is very helpful and pertinent as well, especially since he is giving me spiritual direction as a a part of my discernment process to the religious life.

Thank you for your reply. God Bless!

 

[houston1]

Thank you so much for the reply, houston1. You said exactly what I needed to hear. As you said, when we are striving for holiness, we are naturally attracted to those doing the same and this priest very much challenges me spiritually and I know that the Devil is doing everything he can to stop my spiritual growth. I will continue to pray to the Blessed Mother to protect me from these thoughts and give me the courage to continue my direction with this priest.

Your comment that God may be using this certain priest to accomplish His will in my life is very helpful and pertinent as well, especially since he is giving me spiritual direction as a a part of my discernment process to the religious life.

Thank you for your reply. God Bless!

OP,

I am glad that you found this helpful. It has taken me a lot of prayer and counsel to draw this conclusion with confidence. Our Blessed Mother will also help you sort through your feelings so you will know which course to take that gives you the most peace and is full of love. God wants us to have genuine love for one another and that includes this priest. So, do not fear or fret over these sensual feelings that you have for him. But, rather, ask God and our Blessed Mother to show you what to do with them. I am sure that they will show you and already have to some extent since this priest is helping with the conversion of your friends.

When the enemy revisits you with doubts (and he will!) maintain your confidence in God. Your feelings for this priest are not problematic but are an opportunity because God always turns the evil into good when we seek Him in love (Rm 8:28, 12:21).

May God bless you. Btw, please pray that I always do God’s will and I will pray the same for you.

houston1