Autism and Mass

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I have relatives (protestants) with an autistic child. He is 10 and his communication skills are on par with a three year old. He is very hard to physically restrain (his mother isn’t physically strong enough). They go to a protestant church where they have a kids section for babysitting etc.

Now I am just curious what a Catholic Parish would offer in the same situation, assuming the parents cannot afford a babysitter for the autistic child.
 
Kmon23 said:
I have relatives (protestants) with an autistic child. He is 10 and his communication skills are on par with a three year old. He is very hard to physically restrain (his mother isn’t physically strong enough). They go to a protestant church where they have a kids section for babysitting etc.

Now I am just curious what a Catholic Parish would offer in the same situation, assuming the parents cannot afford a babysitter for the autistic child.
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It will vary widely from parish to parish. Some parishes have nurseries available that could handle such a child, others have no nurseries at all, and some are somewhere between. Probably the best thing to do in such a situation would be to call around to the local churches and talk to the children’s director/nursery coordinator/whoever the equivalent is in that parish. 🙂
 
My parish has a nursery but it’s only for children 2 years and younger. They do, however, have a “cry room” which actually the gathering area in the front of the Church. The doors are closed after Mass and the people sitting out there can see and hear what’s going on and there are no distractions.

My old parish had a nursery for kids up to 3 years (they start CCD at 4 years) and a cry room behind the pews.

I guess, all in all, it depends on the parish.
 
DaughterOfMary6 said:
My parish has a nursery but it’s only for children 2 years and younger. They do, however, have a “cry room” which actually the gathering area in the front of the Church. The doors are closed after Mass and the people sitting out there can see and hear what’s going on and there are no distractions.

My old parish had a nursery for kids up to 3 years (they start CCD at 4 years) and a cry room behind the pews.

I guess, all in all, it depends on the parish.
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In my parish, they just bring them to Mass, or in severe cases the parents will attend separately. There was a family with an autistic girl who always brought her to Mass with the rest of the family. Sometimes she would start to talk loudly and insistently, or get angry, and one of the parents would take her out. There are a few other children also with mental or behavioral problems, and I really have to say I have never heard a complaint about them, and neither do people complain about crying babies. Our parish is very, very good about accepting people with disabilities and including them in everything and meeting their needs.
 
In my parish, there is a family that brings their autistic young adult to Mass.

God creates autistic people. I’m sure He must have a reason.

To me, it is an opportunity to pray for the young adult and for the family who have their cross to bear. Also, to count my blessings.
 
The way parishes “deal” with this is with compassion.
Some have places set aside, like a cry room, but I think most just attend, participate as best they can, and their fellow parishioners pray for their courage and strength.
Most people genuinely admire a family that is coping with any disability.
Much like a crying infant who has no idea they are being disruptive, the congregation does well to show patience and gentles. They simply accept.
 
Dacinom said:
If a Catholic parish had a young 10-year old with autism, this child should be able to attend Mass, go to confession, receive the Eucharist and participate fully in parish life and share the beautiful gifts that God has given them!
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Amen!
 
Dacinom said:
If a Catholic parish had a young 10-year old with autism, this child should be able to attend Mass, go to confession, receive the Eucharist and participate fully in parish life and share the beautiful gifts that God has given them!
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Well I wouldn’t go that far and say he can go to confession. He doesn’t know who Jesus is yet, and I don’t think he knows what it means to do something wrong outside of fear of scolding/punishment. His vocabulary is pretty limited to mom, dad, food, rice, water, milk etc. and phrases such as “I love” and “I am hungry.” Although, I hope someday he can come to know Christ as fully as possible.

And he is raised by protestant parents so it is just me hoping that they may come to the Catholic faith someday.
 
Dacinom said:
If a Catholic parish had a young 10-year old with autism, this child should be able to attend Mass, go to confession, receive the Eucharist and participate fully in parish life and share the beautiful gifts that God has given them!
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A good friend of mine at Church has a son who is severely autistic and is 12. He attends Mass with the family and receives the Eucharist.

They should be given every opportunity to be fully apart of Parish life and take part in the Sacraments.
 
I am autistic myself. Mass was quite difficult for me when I was a kid, and even as an adult it can be tough. (The bells an be harsh, smell of incense, the organ, etc) I guess all I am saying is that please try to remember that Mass can be incredibly hard for an autstic person, especially a child. And if you see them “acting up” it’s because they are reacting to physical pain. God created us for a reason, right?
 
Kmon23 said:
Well I wouldn’t go that far and say he can go to confession. He doesn’t know who Jesus is yet, and I don’t think he knows what it means to do something wrong outside of fear of scolding/punishment. His vocabulary is pretty limited to mom, dad, food, rice, water, milk etc. and phrases such as “I love” and “I am hungry.” Although, I hope someday he can come to know Christ as fully as possible.

And he is raised by protestant parents so it is just me hoping that they may come to the Catholic faith someday.
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I catechized an 11 year old autistic boy last year that was pretty non-verbal. I used the Adaptive Reconciliation Kit from Loyola Press, It has laminated cards with easy to recognize pictures and scenarios…such as feeling sorry, and loving Jesus. My student was able to grasp the inserts and place them in the correct spots and repeating the main words…mom sad, do naughty things, I’m sorry, Jesus loves me, etc. When he had thoroughly gone through the steps (thoroughly, like a few months) he sat with Father in the church, he came with a drawing of himself breaking a dish (apparently he will break things when angry at his house) and Father asked him questions about the picture. He pointed, said mom sad, him sad, him sorry. And Father blessed him, tore up the picture, toss in the wastebasket, sad gone, Jesus loves you. Sad feelings gone, mom still loves you too. You get the picture.
Don’t give up. It can be done to varying degrees, and anyway, they are God’s beautiful children. We don’t worry about them in the same way that we big sinners worry about ourselves. 😉
It also came with a wonderful flip book with the parts of the Mass fro him to follow along.

Ask your DRE about the Adaptive Reconciliation kit.
 
pianistclare said:
I catechized an 11 year old autistic boy last year that was pretty non-verbal. I used the Adaptive Reconciliation Kit from Loyola Press, It has laminated cards with easy to recognize pictures and scenarios…such as feeling sorry, and loving Jesus. My student was able to grasp the inserts and place them in the correct spots and repeating the main words…mom sad, do naughty things, I’m sorry, Jesus loves me, etc. When he had thoroughly gone through the steps (thoroughly, like a few months) he sat with Father in the church, he came with a drawing of himself breaking a dish (apparently he will break things when angry at his house) and Father asked him questions about the picture. He pointed, said mom sad, him sad, him sorry. And Father blessed him, tore up the picture, toss in the wastebasket, sad gone, Jesus loves you. Sad feelings gone, mom still loves you too. You get the picture.
Don’t give up. It can be done to varying degrees, and anyway, they are God’s beautiful children. We don’t worry about them in the same way that we big sinners worry about ourselves. 😉
It also came with a wonderful flip book with the parts of the Mass fro him to follow along.

Ask your DRE about the Adaptive Reconciliation kit.
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This is really incredible. Never knew anything about something like this. Thanks for the post.
 
Kmon23 said:
This is really incredible. Never knew anything about something like this. Thanks for the post.
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They have a kit for First Eucharist and Confirmation as well. Keep in mind, that depending on the severity of his autism, the Pastor may forego Reconciliation. The main thing you should discern right now, is IF the parents are on board with catechizing him. We have an adult autistic man whose part time caregiver is anxious to get him Baptized, and talks to him about God a lot during her hours with him, but until his legal guardian gives us permission to begin catechesis, we can’t Baptize him.
 
Dacinom said:
God bless you.

I have a child with disabilities. Even people who are non-verbal can go to confession. Even though a person who is non-verbal would have challenges confessing they can still receive profound grace from the Sacrament. The Catholic church in her beautiful wisdom has set guidelines for the reception of sacraments for persons with disabilities. Often people (incorrectly) assume that so much depends on our understanding of the sacraments in order that we are able to receive them. While this is partially true, remember that our understanding is limited no matter who we are.

In my personal opinion, I believe that compared to the Almighty God, there is very little difference between the intelligence of Albert Einstein and a person with profound disabilities. Understanding who Jesus is, if you really think about it,is impossible for anyone. Jesus identity is so complex that understanding Him is too deep for the human mind. All we can do is open our hearts to Him the best we are able to do and receive, receive, receive.
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Amen, Monicad. I think that sometimes children and those with such disabilities as being discussed actually have a much deeper understanding than we normal folks. Their faith is more childlike, and they don’t have all the questioning and doubts that get in our way.
 
At my old parish, the family would take the autistic child to the cry room if the situation warranted.

As the parent of a verbally-challenged boy, I’m glad to hear that there are tools to help him make the sacrament of confession. He’s not at that point yet, but he will in a couple of years. He’s able to understand what people tell him, but has challenges communicating back to people.

Thanks for sharing this knowledge! 👍
 
I know I’m going to sound like an advocate of this group - but it had special meaning to me. I was recruited as a volunteer when they were getting it off the ground. But it was intended that the mass was to be a place to include everybody. A priest in Chicago was appalled that parents of children with disabilities felt that they had to hide their children - and they didn’t feel included at church (a place where, if anywhere), they should be celebrated. Well that priest decided to do something about it. (I won’t go into it all here as you can find out the history on the websites i will provide if you are interested)

an organization was created in the 1960s by the archdiocese of Chicago called “SPRED” (Special Religious Education).

I’m going to provide a couple of links because the program is quite beautiful. I got involved when a mother of a child with downs’ syndrome explored programs for her child - and ended up bringing the program to Milwaukee. I was a catechist for three years to in the program. It requires a bit of work on the volunteer side - as there are eight volunteers in a parish to handle six people with special needs. What so special is that it was a way to include these people into parish life and make them an integral part of the community. After a while there are Spred masses where these guests are incorporated into the service in various ways. The community finds the Spred masses very inviting and special.

Here is from the Milwaukee website (spredmilwaukee.org/about-spred.html)
What is SPRED?
SPRED (Special Religious Development) is a small faith community in a parish which includes children or adults with special needs. SPRED integrates people with developmental disabilities more fully into the mainstream of parish life: it offers faith formation, gives parishioners an inviting place and opportunity to connect with persons with disabilities, and offers ways to more fully include persons with disabilities into the liturgy. The SPRED method creates an awareness of God while giving our SPRED friends a sense that they are loved by God and are persons of honor and dignity. Our SPRED friends learn to know God.
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and here is the Chicago site that started it all:

spred-chicago.org/#!welcome/c55t

I don’t know if Boston has such a thing, but it certainly worthwhile. I know that while Spred was coming to Milwaukee, it also was being introduced in other cities around the world. But it does require that someone gets the ball rolling - and volunteers and a willing parish. Once people see it, they want to bring it to other parishes in the city. I think Chicago has something approaching a hundred parishes participating.
 
mass has always bothered me. i’m thinking of trying online mass or something like that because of my sensitivity.
 
The parents might check around to see if there is a smaller parish they can attend, or if there is a less-attended Mass at that particular parish. I also think that them sitting in a cry room or other separate section would be a good idea.

I’m married to a high-functioning autistic DH. DH is able to attend Mass regularly. The only requirement is that we not go to a very small church that is crammed to the rafters. (This has only happened once; we are in a rural area and one of the smaller communities has Mass once a year in their church, on the weekend closest to their patron’s feast day. We went to Mass there and DH had to leave.)
 
the problem is is that i’m also forced to concentrate, so no matter where i go in the church, i have to be made to sit so still and be forced to focus
 
[BIBLEDRB][/BIBLEDRB]
pianistclare said:
I catechized an 11 year old autistic boy last year that was pretty non-verbal. I used the Adaptive Reconciliation Kit from Loyola Press, It has laminated cards with easy to recognize pictures and scenarios…such as feeling sorry, and loving Jesus. My student was able to grasp the inserts and place them in the correct spots and repeating the main words…mom sad, do naughty things, I’m sorry, Jesus loves me, etc. When he had thoroughly gone through the steps (thoroughly, like a few months) he sat with Father in the church, he came with a drawing of himself breaking a dish (apparently he will break things when angry at his house) and Father asked him questions about the picture. He pointed, said mom sad, him sad, him sorry. And Father blessed him, tore up the picture, toss in the wastebasket, sad gone, Jesus loves you. Sad feelings gone, mom still loves you too. You get the picture.
Don’t give up. It can be done to varying degrees, and anyway, they are God’s beautiful children. We don’t worry about them in the same way that we big sinners worry about ourselves. 😉
It also came with a wonderful flip book with the parts of the Mass fro him to follow along.

Ask your DRE about the Adaptive Reconciliation kit.
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This is the most beautiful thing I have heard all day. So happy to read this.
 
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