Avoid judging someone

[Flame4]

I know someone whose immortality just bothers me so much. I don’t even know why this person in particular bothers me. I guess she just seems like someone who, based on her views about morality, would be very hostile towards the Church and Catholics (she doesn’t know I’m Catholic).I guess this person has also come to personify the general hostility by the secular culture towards the Church.But she really hasn’t done anything wrong to me. I know I shouldn’t judge, but I can’t get this person off my mind. Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop making assumptions and judging this person so harshly? Its really got me feeling discouraged and I don’t want to keep doing this.

Thank you and God bless

 

[AvailableName]

I have a similar (but more serious) problem and I am having success at dealing with it.

I found this prayer in an old prayer book…

Prayer For Our Enemies

O, God, the lover and preserver of peace and charity:
grant unto all our enemies peace and true charity;
give them remission of all their sins,
and by Thy power deliver us from their snares.
Amen.

I worked this into my daily prayer routine. First I say the above prayer. Then I make an informal statement saying I forgive them because God wants me to. It has been working rather well for me.

 

[808Catholic]

I know someone whose immortality just bothers me so much. I don’t even know why this person in particular bothers me. I guess she just seems like someone who, based on her views about morality, would be very hostile towards the Church and Catholics (she doesn’t know I’m Catholic).I guess this person has also come to personify the general hostility by the secular culture towards the Church.But she really hasn’t done anything wrong to me. I know I shouldn’t judge, but I can’t get this person off my mind. Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop making assumptions and judging this person so harshly? Its really got me feeling discouraged and I don’t want to keep doing this.

Thank you and God bless

Perhaps God has sent this woman to you at this time so you can help her come to God. By your faithful actions (without even mentioning your religious beliefs) you may be able to influence her and bring her to the faith. Sometimes I find God does something in my life that leaves me baffled as in “What am I supposed to do with THAT, Lord??” Then I flip it around in my head and ask “What is God asking me to do?” It’s not all about us and sometime the challenges in our lives is meant to solve someone else’s crisis. Pray to God for understanding and God Bless you.

 

[tawny]

Judge not, lest ye be judged.

 

[ready]

I know someone whose immortality just bothers me so much. I don’t even know why this person in particular bothers me. I guess she just seems like someone who, based on her views about morality, would be very hostile towards the Church and Catholics (she doesn’t know I’m Catholic).I guess this person has also come to personify the general hostility by the secular culture towards the Church.But she really hasn’t done anything wrong to me. I know I shouldn’t judge, but I can’t get this person off my mind. Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop making assumptions and judging this person so harshly? Its really got me feeling discouraged and I don’t want to keep doing this.

Thank you and God bless

Pray for the woman’s conversion, and fraternally correct her when she speaks wrong about morality, that is, if you think she would be open to correction. If her views on morality are wrong, then gently and charitably try to help her to see things the right way. God bless you.

 

[wildfood]

Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop making assumptions and judging this person so harshly?

Yes!

Know that God may very well turn this person into a great Christian some day and reveal to them just how wrong their views were.

The greatest sinners often make wonderful Christians.

 

[Flame4]

Yes!

Know that God may very well turn this person into a great Christian some day and reveal to them just how wrong their views were.

The greatest sinners often make wonderful Christians.

The funny thing is, I’m getting this feeling strongly as well. Both that I should pray for her, and that one day she is going to make a wonderful Christian… God does work in funny ways! Thanks to all of you for your responses; they are very helpful. May God bless you!

 

[PelagiathePenit]

I know someone whose immortality just bothers me so much. I don’t even know why this person in particular bothers me. I guess she just seems like someone who, based on her views about morality, would be very hostile towards the Church and Catholics (she doesn’t know I’m Catholic).I guess this person has also come to personify the general hostility by the secular culture towards the Church.But she really hasn’t done anything wrong to me. I know I shouldn’t judge, but I can’t get this person off my mind. Does anyone have any tips on how I can stop making assumptions and judging this person so harshly? Its really got me feeling discouraged and I don’t want to keep doing this.

Thank you and God bless

I commend you first for being honest. A lot people love to pretend they do not judge. Sometimes I try to talk to people I did not like. Some people I have prematurely judged have actually helped me. I have sometimes learned to understand their perspective better, not that I necessarily agree. Some of them I have became friends with or at least I learned to be civil with. All you really can do is pray for them and pray for yourself as well. I would actually try to talking to her.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Judgment is a right reserved to God alone. Our duty is to love the people whom God puts in our path and to treat them with dignity. This doesn’t mean we allow ourselves to be treated poorly. So far, she hasn’t treated you badly. Maybe in conversation you can mention something that lets her understand you’re Catholic. Nothing more than that. If she follows up, then say something. If she’s like most people who dislike the Church, her hostility is probably based on the way certain Catholics have treated her or spoken to her in the past. Face it, certain religious people can be very off-putting. They sorely tested Jesus’s patience in the Gospels. So we should never get snarky in our defense of the faith. By our words and even more so by our actions we must set a good example. Attraction rather than promotion is the best tool.

 

[Bookcat]

What does judging mean?

blog.adw.org/2010/06/correcting-the-sinner-is-not-being-judgmental-it-is-an-essential-work-of-charity/

blog.adw.org/2009/11/fraternal-correction-the-forgotten-virtue/

How are we to help our brother? *(and he us) (from Pope Benedict XVI): vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/messages/lent/documents/hf_ben-xvi_mes_20111103_lent-2012_en.html

(start second paragraph)

That being said - one gives also the “benefit of the doubt” and as the Catechism notes:

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.280

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a8.htm#IV

(I give that as a general aspect for us always to follow.)

Giving the benefit of the doubt though does not mean that one turns a blind eye or ignores what has been done or said.

And that does not mean though that one cannot or ought not judge in terms of your choices that being around the person is not the way to go etc. Done of course with love.

And yes pray and sacrifice *(as Our Lady of Fatima asked–for sinners)

 

[chataranga]

Greetings,
Whenever I realize I’m being judgmental towards someone, group, etc. I invariably come back to the bible verses involving hypocrites, splinters, and logs and the measure with which we judge we’ll be measured with or something along those lines. It always brings me back to the present and creates a tiny bit of humility in me. I’m an extremely judgmental person so this happens quite often. Blessings to all-be well.