Avoiding Judgment

[Angela77]

How do we lessen our judgment of others, especially when others are doing very wrong things? I struggle with this a lot. I don’t want to be the holier-than-thou sort of person.

 

[christofirst]

I always say, “There but for the grace of God go I,” which in my case is very true. I’m a sinner always in need of God’s mercy whether my sins are common knowledge or not. How, then, can I judge anyone else?

Also, doing what we can to help a sinner change their ways and come to repentance, be it by talking to and encouraging them, or by praying for their conversion (or both) is not the same as the judgment which is reserved for God alone. “Admonish the sinner” has come to have a negative connotation for many of us (myself included), but we very much should help others come to repentance whenever and however we can. Prayer is very important, but there are also ways of reaching out to someone personally too, not by browbeating or nagging in a superior sort of way, which usually drives the other person away, but gently and with compassion.

 

[CRATUS]

How do we lessen our judgment of others, especially when others are doing very wrong things? I struggle with this a lot. I don’t want to be the holier-than-thou sort of person.

Talk to them, if they are not dangerous. Most people have good traits. If you get to know them, you will understand why they behave the way they do. You could train yourself to look the other way. Pray for them. Some people naturally do not judge others. I do not have this quality. Believe it or not, sometimes it is easier to not judge others if you are not always around them. Of course, most people do not live the way God calls us to, but if there is something you cannot tolerate, it may be easier to not be around certain people as much.

 

[tawny]

I try to remember the words; “Judge not, lest ye be judged”. We are all sinners. I pray for them & pray that they will pray for me.

 

[Convert1]

I try to remember the words; “Judge not, lest ye be judged”. We are all sinners. I pray for them & pray that they will pray for me.

 

[Purgatory_Pete]

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing.

You don’t have to get into a drawn out thing with people
but you should try to voice what you know to be right.

If the person was stomping on a puppy would you remain silent?
No you say?
Then wouldn’t that make you one of the holier-than-thou sort of persons.?
We are allowed to correct error when we see it.
Don’t ever feel awkward about standing up for what is right.

I don’t want to be the holier-than-thou sort of person.

Isn’t that a judgment of others?

I suppose you could start by not judging those holier-than-thou sort of persons
who are trying in their own way to speak up for what is moral and right…
that would avoid some judgment right there.

Angela77 you are not alone with the struggle.
it is hard and some people just can’t take on others around them, (for many reasons)
in which case then, you should always be ready to give support to anyone
who does speak out.
Silence gives consent. Pope Boniface VIII.

I hope this helps.
:tiphat:

 

[pianistclare]

Think of them being able to read your thoughts.
Would they be angry?
Hurt?
Embarrassed?
If they could read your mind and be happy and know that you were compassionate, caring, and kind…you’re doing good.

 

[puzzledtoo]

Look honestly into the mirror. Most likely what we see in others that bothers us is something in us as well. When I think of someone as arrogant or obnoxious I can with very little effort find that in me as well.
On a daily basis I will be humbled by the fact that I just judged someone to be this or that and within a few minutes it hits me that I was the same thing in a different situation earlier in the day or the day before. Often feel like a hypocrite.
Doing a daily examination may help with this as well just try not to dwell on the bad but the good that you have judged someone to be or that you have done. I’ve just started this again and find it helpful. I try to do this throughout the day rather than wait until the end of the day.

 

[CRATUS]

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing.

You don’t have to get into a drawn out thing with people
but you should try to voice what you know to be right.

If the person was stomping on a puppy would you remain silent?
No you say?
Then wouldn’t that make you one of the holier-than-thou sort of persons.?
We are allowed to correct error when we see it.
Don’t ever feel awkward about standing up for what is right.

Isn’t that a judgment of others?

I suppose you could start by not judging those holier-than-thou sort of persons
who are trying in their own way to speak up for what is moral and right…
that would avoid some judgment right there.

Angela77 you are not alone with the struggle.
it is hard and some people just can’t take on others around them, (for many reasons)
in which case then, you should always be ready to give support to anyone
who does speak out.
Silence gives consent. Pope Boniface VIII.

I hope this helps.
:tiphat:

I will second this. Sometimes people are judged as “holier-than-thou” for speaking out against an injustice. Christianity is about mercy and the truth. For not judging people that is VERY DIFFICULT task. Some people honestly do not. Some people claim not to. I think just think of people in the best light. If someone is doing something clearly wrong, and you notice it, that is not judgment. What does it mean to you to be judgmental?

 

[puzzledtoo]

I just found this on a Buddhist forum that I go to. Apparently there are eleven reflections for fortifying patience and patience I would imagine goes a long way toward letting go of being judgmental as it does for anger.
#4) “If there were no wrong-doers, how could l accomplish the perfection of patience?”

 #6) "A wrong-doer is also a benefactor, for he is the basis for developing patience."
 
 Another way to look at things without beating ourselves up. Take care.