I had been in a relationship with a girl and I am sad to say we had intercourse. Since than we have broken up for family reasons, but while I feel bad about what I did, I still have the desire from time to time to want to engage in this. I have not because I know it wrong and have since been to confession and I am trying to rid myself of these desires any ideas or ways to help me thank you in advance for your help.
have you every heard of the 3 Hail Mary’s devotion? i think there are actually more than one, but the one i am speaking of is, you say 3 Hail Mary’s in the morning when you wake, and at night before bed, for the intentions of purity and holiness, it is a very powerful means against impure thoughts, acts, and desires, and i would highly recommend it.
another prayer that will help you is, right at the moment you realize a temptation to impure thoughts or desires, pray “Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, wash over me, protect me from the wickedness and snares of the devil” then right after that pray “Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Saint Maria Goretti, Guardian Angel, help me.” and then immediately think of something else, bring to mind something you enjoy very much which is not immoral, and if necessary, remove yourself from where you are, or in other words, remove yourself from what is tempting you, whether that’s being on your computer, watching tv, or even just spending time idle, which is really one of the worst things you can do when struggling with impurity.
and as someone else said, don’t even bring the sins of lust to mind, don’t think of those things, unless it is in examining your conscience for confession, but even then don’t dwell on it for very long, because when you bring it to mind, you become tempted, the devil doesn’t even need to do anything when you do that, you are tempting yourself then.
another great help is, just read the lives and writings of the saints, and other good Catholic literature everyday, alot of which you will find here -
www.tanbooks.com
it’s understandable why, after engaging in this act, that you would continue to desire it more, it is because the body rebels against the soul, it demands things even if you don’t want them, we are truly slaves of our bodies when we willingly give into sin, and the more you give into it, the weaker you become against it, because since it is only by the grace of God that we can do good and overcome our temptation, so the more we sin, and thereby turn away from God, then the less we are able to resist sin, since we cannot do any good on our own, as “God alone is good” so we need Him at every moment for everything, we need His grace, but by sinning we reject His grace…and He will not always shower it on us if we are constantly choosing to reject it.
but yeah, the best means against these sins and temptations, are prayer, spiritual reading
everyday, frequenting of the sacraments,
oh, and i forgot one other thing, mortification, it is also a very important to practice because by it we learn to control our will, which enables us to be masters of ourselves rather than be slaves of sin.
here are a couple articles that will help you with that -
z13.invisionfree.com/DominamStellaMaris/index.php?showtopic=44
z13.invisionfree.com/DominamStellaMaris/index.php?showtopic=23
mortification is basically just self-denial, and despite the long list of mortification’s in the second link, you really should only take on a little at a time, start small, because actually it’s the little things that tend to be the hardest, so you need to be careful not to overwhelm yourself.
by mortification you will train yourself to say “no” to your bodies irrational and inordinate desires, although it does take time, so just be patient with yourself, and take it a little at a time,
and lastly i just wanted to say, don’t be disturbed by temptations, to be tempted is no sin at all, and to overcome your temptations actually makes you stronger against them, with Gods help of course,
it might take time to learn and train yourself in all these things, but that’s how it works, you just have to be persistent, even if you don’t feel like it, you have to learn how to be in control of your own will, because if you can’t control your will, then how can you expect to do Gods will?
here are a few sites i think you will find much more helpful, just search for topics under lust or chastity or similar things -
audiosancto.org/
keepthefaith.org/
ok, hope this helps, take care.
