Away from the church

[klriggins1]

I have been away from the church for close to 6 months.

My 9 year old son was accused of horrible things at his school, and even though he was proved to be innocent, most of the parents had already decided he was guilty and treated him horribly, and told their children to treat him horribly. He was absolutely miserable, and asked if he could go to the Catholic school in our parish.

We went through the tour, and met the staff, he was SO excited to go somewhere he thought he would be safe and be able to have friends.

The admissions committee decided not to offer him admission “because of what might follow him”. He was crushed, and quite frankly I’m mad. How can I teach him that God will always protect him when the only tangible evidence of God he can see in his world has now turned their back on him? How can I continue taking him into a place to ask for mercy and forgiveness when they have made it clear they don’t support him?

 

[joanofarc2008]

Speak to the pastor of the parish - he may have the best insight. Just try to remain calm when you do. I am so sorry and your son will be in my prayers.

 

[Allegra]

The best thing if you really want to send him to the Catholic school, is to talk to the principal first and explain the situation. If you don’t get satisfaction then talk to the priest or possibly, the office of education in your diocese. (If such a thing exists.) By the same token, your son has a right to attend the elementary school he is assigned to and bullying should not be allowed. If it ends up that he has to continue at the public school, I recommend a meeting with your son’s teacher and principal and that you explain very clearly how you expect your child to be treated.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I have been away from the church for close to 6 months.

My 9 year old son was accused of horrible things at his school, and even though he was proved to be innocent, most of the parents had already decided he was guilty and treated him horribly, and told their children to treat him horribly. He was absolutely miserable, and asked if he could go to the Catholic school in our parish.

We went through the tour, and met the staff, he was SO excited to go somewhere he thought he would be safe and be able to have friends.

The admissions committee decided not to offer him admission “because of what might follow him”. He was crushed, and quite frankly I’m mad. How can I teach him that God will always protect him when the only tangible evidence of God he can see in his world has now turned their back on him? How can I continue taking him into a place to ask for mercy and forgiveness when they have made it clear they don’t support him?

I’m so sorry for what your son has gone through. However I do not feel it was wise of you to discuss his non-admission to the Catholic school with him. At 9 years old, he doesn’t need to know he’s been rejected, presumably for what happened at his other school.

I think there is more to this story than you can tell us on the internet. I would approach your parish priest for help.

 

[JRKH]

I have been away from the church for close to 6 months.

My 9 year old son was accused of horrible things at his school, and even though he was proved to be innocent, most of the parents had already decided he was guilty and treated him horribly, and told their children to treat him horribly. He was absolutely miserable, and asked if he could go to the Catholic school in our parish.

We went through the tour, and met the staff, he was SO excited to go somewhere he thought he would be safe and be able to have friends.

The admissions committee decided not to offer him admission “because of what might follow him”. He was crushed, and quite frankly I’m mad. How can I teach him that God will always protect him when the only tangible evidence of God he can see in his world has now turned their back on him? How can I continue taking him into a place to ask for mercy and forgiveness when they have made it clear they don’t support him?

NOTE: The below may sound harsh in places. Please know that I do not mean to be judgmental. Feel free to correct me if I am misunderstanding things

I’m a little confused…Is this the reason that you have been away from the Church for 6 months?
If so - I must ask what lesson you are teaching him but “pouting” and turning your back on God in His Church just because you did not get your own way (justified or not).

Others have made very good suggestions on practical matters like talking to your pastor and to the principal. I would like to offer another suggestion.
Have you considered that perhaps God wants your son to stay in his current school? What good Christian lessons might he be able to learn by dealing with this injustice. Possibly the ability to turn the other cheek…to stand tall and to forebear the slanders? To pray for his enemies? Perhaps even to - by his example and by your support of him - to improve conditions at the public school for other kids as well.

Of course - I cannot know the particulars of the situation, your son or yourself. but I believe that if you wish to raise your son in the faith it is best that the parish school not be the only place he sees “tangible evidence of God …in his world”. YOU need to be the Primary source of that tangible evidence of God in the world.

Again - I apologize if the above sounds harsh - but if this is the reason that you have separated from the Church - I think it speaks to a problem in your faith that needs to be addressed.

Peace
James

 

[acadiANNA]

Every child has the right to an education. I regret that a Catholic school will not accept your child. My son had behavior problems in school. I came to learn that the teachers were not skilled in discipline, in our case, for acting out in class. Not even the school counselor. I feel there are ways to understand and help the student and ways to help the parents. How many school counselors really are concerned? After a third note home from the teacher, what is the next step? Does this continue to the end of the year? My son would distract others and talk all the time. He was joined by 2-3 others with clowning around. He was in detention almost every week. What did that teach him? I sought help through parenting classes and then personal counseling with the social worker teaching this class. I found that I was a great teacher of manners and acceptable behaviors, but not a good disciplinarian. I learned privileges and consequences for my child. Some of it ‘tough love.’ One of my bosses said, “I don’t need help to raise my kids.” I thought, “Yes, you do.” My son and I faced many challenges together. Not all issues were resolved, but much improved. Prayers, and remembering St. Monica, how she persevered in prayer for her son helped me through.
My son went on to Culinary school, is now happily married, they never miss Mass. I thank God every day. If you need support, emotional or situational, please feel free to contact me. I will be praying for you.

 

[Servant31]

I thnk talking to a parish priest would be a good idea so you could get some clarification on the reasoning behind it or what steps to take. Are there other schools in the area? Saftey at school is such a no brainer, your in my prayers.