Awkward about wearing a mantilla

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kleine_katerine

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Hi,

I only started attending Mass in April this year and start the RCIA in 8 days (yay!). I have been careful to make sure that I dress appropriately for Mass but have never had my hair covered. In recent weeks I have been feeling that perhaps I ought to wear a mantilla to Mass as a sign of respect, but there’s only one other woman I’ve ever seen at our church who does this. I’m worried that I might make the other women feel uncomfortable by wearing one. What’s the best thing to do?

God bless,

Katherine
 
Maybe they will start feeling uncomfortable enough to start wearing one themselves!

I know of an Orthodox Church where all the women at the same time were led to start covering their heads.

Isn’t this really the best way?

Lead by example!
 
Wear it!

You will look great and reverent at the same time. Indeed, others may be inspired follow your example. All good. No down side.

Bravo!

Benedictus Deus. Benedictum Nomen Sanctum eius.
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kleine_katerine said:
Hi,

. What’s the best thing to do?

God bless,

Katherine
Click to expand...
the best thing to do is to discern in prayer what God is calling you to do, which means looking at the reasons why you feel moved to do this, and then to do it, without reference to what anyone else thinks or feels, without seeking any other opinion than that of your spiritual adviser (if you think the reasons need that type of counsel). You should feel no need to explain or justify your action if it is a generally good thing, is not forbidden, and you are convinced it is right.
 
I agree with everyone else who says to do what God is leading you to do. If He is leading you to cover your head, then do so. The good part is, you will get used to it, and won’t feel awkward after doing it for just a few Sundays. The first time I covered, I felt like I was standing out like a sore thumb, but the next Sunday, I was used to it. I even received many compliments from people.
Also, if you want to start out slowly, and cover without being too obvious, you could try this website: headcoverings-by-devorah.com/home.html
Devorah makes many different types of head coverings–they range from small chapel caps or kippot and headbands to long mantillas and veils. I’ve gotten everyone of my headcoverings from her. Always good quality.👍
 
Hello and Congradulations!
I also felt that I needed to do - or wear something very special and respectful to The
Holy Sacrafice of the Mass. I was cosidering a mantilla when I read that if you have an audience with our Pope you must wear a dress and mantilla or other head covering.
So, if we are required by the Pope - how much MORE respect should I be showing our Lord and Savior who is real and truely present during the Mass. I was flat terrified the first time I wore it, and I did get some funny looks, and only one bad one. What I find interesting is how many women tell me, “I wish I had the nerve (guts) to wear that”. I think as women we have a call in our hearts but I know it does mean alot to me and I would never go back. As far as I know I’m the only woman at my Sunday service (appx 400 people). Just follow your heart and remember Who it truely is you are there to see, receive and worship. God Bless You - Leeray:thumbsup:
 
puzzleannie said:
the best thing to do is to discern in prayer what God is calling you to do, which means looking at the reasons why you feel moved to do this, and then to do it, without reference to what anyone else thinks or feels, without seeking any other opinion than that of your spiritual adviser (if you think the reasons need that type of counsel). You should feel no need to explain or justify your action if it is a generally good thing, is not forbidden, and you are convinced it is right.
Click to expand...
Excellent advice for someone who needs to decide whether to join a cloistered religious order.
.
 
My wife is one of about 3 women that wear a head covering in the small NO parish. Since she started wearing a chapel cap several teenage girls have begun wearing them periodically. Recently two other women have joined her on a weekly basis.

When we go to the FSSP parish, about once a month, we find that most wear them.

I really admire women who wear them.
 
If you feel called to cover your head/hair in Mass, it doesn’t have to be a mantilla. You can wear a hat or scarf instead. The church does not require women to wear a head covering at all, and nothing in the past said it had to be a mantilla. A veil is easier nowadays since women don’t routinely wear hats outside the house so that’s why you see it more often.

Again, though if you feel called to wear a headcovering that is your call.
 
I was nervous about attending my first TLM (which I discovered by accident), so I dragged my long time girlfriend along…what I didn’t tell her up until it was time to go was that i had bought her a beautiful mantilla. I asked her if she would wear it and she didn’t even blink an eye! She put it on and looked like an angel!! (which I think all women do when they are wearing them).

I might add that she is relatively young (then about 35…me a bit older by ten years) so it is NOT an “old lady” thing…come to think about it…one of the many things that sealed the deal with me *for *her was that she immediately (on the first date) took my arm as I escorted her. That is a tradition that is not of our generation…but she did it without batting an eye. I loved it and i love her!

Wear your mantilla please!
 
I’ve been considering covering my head for mass as well…there are a few hats (and a turban-like head covering) in our church…but no mantillas…unless I’ve missed them at the 7:30 am which I’ve never made it to or the noon Spanish mass 🙂 Nice to see another RCIA student thinkin’ the way I’m thinkin’😉
kleine_katerine said:
Hi,

I only started attending Mass in April this year and start the RCIA in 8 days (yay!). I have been careful to make sure that I dress appropriately for Mass but have never had my hair covered. In recent weeks I have been feeling that perhaps I ought to wear a mantilla to Mass as a sign of respect, but there’s only one other woman I’ve ever seen at our church who does this. I’m worried that I might make the other women feel uncomfortable by wearing one. What’s the best thing to do?

God bless,

Katherine
Click to expand...
 
I wear a mantilla at the Oratory or Westminster Cathedral. Our local Church the older women seem to wear hats not mantillas. I am also a revert Catholic and trying to find a RCIA course myself. After reading this question I will proudly wear mine this weekend. It could be the British reserve thing as well though lol.
 
Charlotte2008 said:
I wear a mantilla at the Oratory or Westminster Cathedral. Our local Church the older women seem to wear hats not mantillas. I am also a revert Catholic and trying to find a RCIA course myself. After reading this question I will proudly wear mine this weekend. It could be the British reserve thing as well though lol.
Click to expand...
Hats would be culturally correct for those woman. Depending on their age, they may remember when most women would not leave the house without a hat or scarf on. No one in Northern Europe (and not many even in Portugal and Spain) would have gone around with a mantilla on her head as normal wear. They only became popular as women stopped wearing hats as normal fashion, but still wanted to cover their heads in church. Then something that could be stuffed in their purses and pulled out as necessary was very convienent and hence the commonly seen mantilla in church in the late 50s and early 60s.
 
Hi Katerine!

You are only one of many that the Lord seems to be leading back to the practice of wearing a covering on their heads! Some wear Mantilla’s, some wear veils of varying lengths, some wear Bandanas, some just wear a larger headband, and some wear Kapps like the Plain People (Did you know that there are actually “Plain Catholics?” Well, there are and they have all been led by the Lord, in one degree or another to wear a prayercovering on their hair!)

Some cover just for church, come cover just at home, some cover just for prayer and some cover all the time. The meaning of the covering goes back to I Corinthians Chapter eleven, where Paul speaks on women wearing headcoverings. To make sure that you read what is really there you would need to do a wordstudy in the Greek. (I could send you one that you could look up for yourself!) That way you won’t be deceived into believing that Paul only meant that a womans hair should be long! Because that is NOT what he meant and a wordstudy will show that.

Just as an aside, it has been thought since Vatican II that the wearing of something on their heads (women) had been done away with. It has not! There was nothing that happened at Vatican II to change what women had been doing for years! It was just that many “progressive” and “more modern” women thought that it would be nice to stop wearing coverings on their heads so they did. And with the more lenient priests, they allowed it. But that is not what we learn from the scriptures! Covering our heads is a sign of our obedience and humility before God! I wear a full veil as that is what the Lord has led me to; but it is up to each woman as to what her husband will permit (if she is married) and her own personal preference. A friend of mine wears a Mantilla, or sometimes a hat or beret.

So, Katerine, good luck in your search! If I can help in any way just send me a private message!

DesertSister62
 
Charlotte2008 said:
I wear a mantilla at … or Westminster Cathedral.
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I bought one of my favorite “every day” veils there when I was in London in 2007. 🙂

To the OP:
I was at a Catholic conference in Des Moines this past weekend where we had Mass in the conference hall at the end of the day. I believe I was the only woman there with her head covered. I had forgotten to bring a chapel veil with me, so I had to dash out and look for a scarf or something in a close by shop. Luckily I found a long sheer plain solid black scarf, oblong shaped, that worked perfectly. Yes - I felt very awkward being out of my home parish with my head covered around strangers, and even the Bishop seemed to notice 😊 (I was in the front row, not by choice, it’s just where I ended up after looking for my husband, and there he was.). But I just could not be in the presence of Jesus and not have my head covered. It’s all about Him - no one else.

So - follow your heart and your soul - you will know what’s right for you, and it really has nothing to do with what anyone else says or thinks.

(Oh - and puzzleannie - I’m so proud of you!! 😉 )

~Liza
 
I think it’s all about being authentic. If you are moved by the Holy Spirit to wear the mantilla because of your love for God…that means so much more than wearing it because someone told you you had to. What you have touched on here…is the difference between doing something you are told to do rather than being inwardly led by the Holy Spirit to do so. Both are fine…but one is being obedient and the other is an act of love. I hope you wear it because it is from your heart…and that means the world to your heavenly Father, His Son and His Holy Spirit. God bless you.
 
kleine_katerine said:
Hi,

I only started attending Mass in April this year and start the RCIA in 8 days (yay!). I have been careful to make sure that I dress appropriately for Mass but have never had my hair covered. In recent weeks I have been feeling that perhaps I ought to wear a mantilla to Mass as a sign of respect, but there’s only one other woman I’ve ever seen at our church who does this. I’m worried that I might make the other women feel uncomfortable by wearing one. What’s the best thing to do?

God bless,

Katherine
Click to expand...
You won’t make others uncomfortable by wearing a mantilla. They’ll just assume you’ve been to Spain or are Spanish.
 
Charlotte2008 said:
I wear a mantilla at the Oratory or Westminster Cathedral. Our local Church the older women seem to wear hats not mantillas. I am also a revert Catholic and trying to find a RCIA course myself. After reading this question I will proudly wear mine this weekend. It could be the British reserve thing as well though lol.
Click to expand...
Wow…I read “a glimpse of eternity”. Everyone needs to read this…it was really good!
 
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