Awkward about wearing a mantilla

[mick321]

You won’t make others uncomfortable by wearing a mantilla. They’ll just assume you’ve been to Spain or are Spanish.

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I would just assume that she has been to Holy Mass before and is Catholic.
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[AgnesDay]

I am so glad not to be alone. I started to wear a mantilla about three years ago after re-reading I Corinthians 11. In particular, in God’s word, St. Paul says “the Churches recognize no other custom.” What could it hurt?

Well, nobody follows my example. That’s uncomfortable. Also, my hair is very fine and the mantillas slip on my slick old head. It’s hot, too.

On the plus side, occasionally families come to our Church from off the interstate, and all the female family members are wearing head coverings ( I love the African headdresses I see from time to time.) I don’t feel so out of place when they show up.

Apparently the move for Muslim, Jewish and various Protestant women is in the direction of modest head covering. Try it. You don’t have to epoxy it on, although I have been tempted from time to time.

AgnesDay

 

[Ailina]

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I would just assume that she has been to Holy Mass before and is Catholic.
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Yes, well, nobody here wears mantillas at all. It’s not the cultural tradition among Catholics in this northern part of the world (Canada), at the masses I attend. Women used to wear hats to church and elsewhere, when it was the fashion to do so. I think the odd one might also have worn a scarf to keep the wind from blowing their hair in their eyes. But that was long ago.

 

[sarahraegraham]

I am so glad not to be alone. I started to wear a mantilla about three years ago after re-reading I Corinthians 11. In particular, in God’s word, St. Paul says “the Churches recognize no other custom.” What could it hurt?

Well, nobody follows my example. That’s uncomfortable. Also, my hair is very fine and the mantillas slip on my slick old head. It’s hot, too.

On the plus side, occasionally families come to our Church from off the interstate, and all the female family members are wearing head coverings ( I love the African headdresses I see from time to time.) I don’t feel so out of place when they show up.

Apparently the move for Muslim, Jewish and various Protestant women is in the direction of modest head covering. Try it. You don’t have to epoxy it on, although I have been tempted from time to time.

AgnesDay

Bobby pins I have to use 'em every time.

 

[beckers]

I bought one of my favorite “every day” veils there when I was in London in 2007.

To the OP:
I was at a Catholic conference in Des Moines this past weekend where we had Mass in the conference hall at the end of the day. I believe I was the only woman there with her head covered. I had forgotten to bring a chapel veil with me, so I had to dash out and look for a scarf or something in a close by shop. Luckily I found a long sheer plain solid black scarf, oblong shaped, that worked perfectly. Yes - I felt very awkward being out of my home parish with my head covered around strangers, and even the Bishop seemed to notice (I was in the front row, not by choice, it’s just where I ended up after looking for my husband, and there he was.). But I just could not be in the presence of Jesus and not have my head covered. It’s all about Him - no one else.

So - follow your heart and your soul - you will know what’s right for you, and it really has nothing to do with what anyone else says or thinks.

(Oh - and puzzleannie - I’m so proud of you!! )

~Liza

I guess i am so use to wearing one now that i don’t get phased by anything. EXCEPT when i wore it front of my mom. I was in St. Pats in NY this summer and i wore it.I hadn’t been mass with her since i started wearing one over 2 years and was afraid she wouldn’t understand. She was totally supportive and told me “well as long as its not a kleenex”. It then started a whole discussion on faith and my mom and i are closer then ever.

I think Cardinal DiNardio is use to us Young Adults in the diocese wearing the veil/headcoverings.

 

[LORELLA]

Hi,

I only started attending Mass in April this year and start the RCIA in 8 days (yay!). I have been careful to make sure that I dress appropriately for Mass but have never had my hair covered. In recent weeks I have been feeling that perhaps I ought to wear a mantilla to Mass as a sign of respect, but there’s only one other woman I’ve ever seen at our church who does this. I’m worried that I might make the other women feel uncomfortable by wearing one. What’s the best thing to do?

God bless,

Katherine

It’s beautiful that you wear a mantilla. Don’t ever stop! I don’t wear one myself but would love to. You don’t see alot of women wearing mantillas but I would love to see this come back very much. I love the old ways

God bless

 

[mick321]

Yes, well, nobody here wears mantillas at all. It’s not the cultural tradition among Catholics in this northern part of the world (Canada), at the masses I attend. Women used to wear hats to church and elsewhere, when it was the fashion to do so. I think the odd one might also have worn a scarf to keep the wind from blowing their hair in their eyes. But that was long ago.

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Yes, local conditions will require local solutions. This morning I attended my first OF Mass in more than one year. At this Southern California venue approx 75% of women in attendance wore some variation of the traditional chapel veil. At 7AM it was 90F, partly cloudy, no breeze, wildfires on the hillsides. All things considered, very pleasant indeed.

God bless.
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[Ailina]

I would guess that southern California contains a higher number of people of the Mexican/Latin American culture than here, so can see that mantillas would be something worn there. They would be considered outlandish here in the north.

I guess I shouldn’t say nobody here wears hats. Toques (woolen hats), berets and hoods are very common here in the winter when it is freezing cold. But those are usually taken off at church, except for the young people who wear toques day and night. Funny, because when I was a teen, it was considered the height of nerdiness to be seen in woolen caps!

 

[nerdwriter]

I wear a mantilla to Mass and am only 24 years old. More often than not, I’m the only one wearing a mantilla but it doesn’t bother me. As I see it, I’m there for God and to thank Him for all he’s done for me so I wear a mantilla out of respect.

 

[RedSoxWife]

Hi,

I only started attending Mass in April this year and start the RCIA in 8 days (yay!). I have been careful to make sure that I dress appropriately for Mass but have never had my hair covered. In recent weeks I have been feeling that perhaps I ought to wear a mantilla to Mass as a sign of respect, but there’s only one other woman I’ve ever seen at our church who does this. I’m worried that I might make the other women feel uncomfortable by wearing one. What’s the best thing to do?

God bless,

Katherine

I worried about all the same things when I felt called to cover my head during Mass, a few years ago. I was so nervous that I actually put it off for a year. I’ve been doing it for over a year now and I really don’t even notice anymore. It gets easier very quickly and when someone, very rarely, says anything, it has always been a compliment.

I alternate between hats and a mantilla depending on my mood and the weather (and whether my baby is in a fussy mood, fussy mood= hat, or a calm mood, calm mood= means the mantilla may stay on my head).

 

[mistypoint]

I would just add the suggestion to let your Priest know. Sometimes, as in our parish, there is a priest who is adamantly AGAINST veiling, going so far as to say to a woman, in front of a crowd, “that’s an imitation of the Mideval Church, not the ancient Church.” As a woman starting RICA, I don’t want you to be hurt or embarassed by one man’s ignorance and lack of tact. Be firm and stay strong. There are many of us out there who desire to do the same, but cannot due to our parish priests.

 

[Doe_Eyez]

Katherine (I have an Aunt Katherine, God rest her dear soul), it is with great interest to me that you present this question to the forum. In the past two weeks, I also have been contemplating the old tradition of women wearing mantillas. What prompted my thoughts occurred while attending Mass in another parish. (I met some people the parish that I visited during a pro-life event with Dr. Alveda King, Pastoral Associate of Priests for Life. I thought I would “visit,” since it is not much further from my little town than my own Church home.)

At the Mass, I noticed a lady wearing a lovely mantilla. After Holy Communion, the lady arose, lovingly took the Blessed Sacrament from Father Meares and carried it to the Tabernacle. At this Mass also, I might add, Father Meares during his homily encouraged each of us to consider returning to taking the Eucharist on our tongues rather than in our hands. Father made several wonderful points in explaining why he believes this to be a more reverent way to accept the Body of Our Lord, the most meaningful to me being that this is a more humble and respectful way of receiving this most precious gift. I gladly accepted Father’s encouragement, and bowed in reverence before receiving Christ Jesus on my tongue. I also could not help but notice several people not only receiving on the tongue but also kneeling before Our Lord when they received His body.

In my own parish, the building that Mass is currently being celebrated in is not the permanent sanctuary. The church was recently built and is not yet complete. Eventually, the lovely room in which Mass is celebrated will be a social hall. The Tabernacle was in a chapel to the side, glass walled on the side of our present sanctuary. Father Butler is new to our parish, arriving this summer, and immediately announced that the Tabernacle would be brought and placed behind the altar, in the proper and right place, as would be Our Lord on the Cross. Statues of the Blessed Mother and Saint Joseph would be “joining” us in the sanctuary, too. Saint Martin de Porres statue graces the vestibule. Father Butler also began, this summer, Adoration each Tuesday from 5:30 to 6:30 pm, with Mass immediately following.

We have no kneelers and therefore stand when we appropriately should kneel. My sister Barbara, however, knelt during my Nuptial Mass in December of 2007. I was watching (someone is always watching.) As I grew in the Faith and in Love of the Eucharist, I decided that I, too, must always kneel before Our Lord.

My sister Barbara’s good example encouraged me in the way that God was calling me to go. Father Meares’ good example regarding reverence for the Eucharist encouraged me in the way that God was calling me to go. As I grow deeper in Faith and closer to Our Lord, I know that God will place before me ones whose good examples will encourage me in the ways that He calls me to go.

Welcome to the family, Katherine, dear sister in Christ Jesus!

I am thankful to Our Lord for the wise words of those senior members posting on this forum. God bless you all!

Peace and Love in Christ Jesus,
Beverly Ann

Saint Luke 12:32

 

[Doe_Eyez]

mistypoint, perhaps that lady, whom the priest tried to shame (and maybe you, too) will be the good examples that God places before this priest, for his spiritual growth and to encourage him in the way that God intends for him to go…

 

[kleine_katerine]

Thanks so much for all your encouragement! I thought about it a little more, and I really feel that to try and show proper respect that I should (at least in some small way) cover my hair. Just to get used to the idea I’ve got a massive fabric headband that covers a great deal and doesn’t slip either (that was another thing that worried me, fiddling with bobby pins etc. during the service). Hopefully people won’t think I’m being overly enthusiastic or too traditional.

Thanks again and God bless,

Katherine

 

[JAGCath28]

Thanks so much for all your encouragement! I thought about it a little more, and I really feel that to try and show proper respect that I should (at least in some small way) cover my hair. Just to get used to the idea I’ve got a massive fabric headband that covers a great deal and doesn’t slip either (that was another thing that worried me, fiddling with bobby pins etc. during the service). Hopefully people won’t think I’m being overly enthusiastic or too traditional.

Thanks again and God bless,

Katherine

I’m 25, will be 26 this month. I wore a mantilla to Mass on Sunday for the first time. I had felt called to do this for a little over a month, and for some reason on Sunday I had the courage. I was still so nervous that I hardly looked at anyone. The sign of peace was a little bit of agony for me. Especially, when the family behind us were good friends of me and my husband. Afterwards, I mentioned how I was nervous to my husband. He said that most of the older folks were looking at me and smiling. That kind of made me feel good!

But, I have to say, that I’m so thankful that I wore it, and will always try to cover my head from now on. Sunday’s readings were so incredibly on point for me, I’m not sure they would have been as clear to me had I not been wearing the mantilla. I believe Sunday was a turning point in my life and I praise God for it.

 

[sarahraegraham]

I’m 25, will be 26 this month. I wore a mantilla to Mass on Sunday for the first time. I had felt called to do this for a little over a month, and for some reason on Sunday I had the courage. I was still so nervous that I hardly looked at anyone. The sign of peace was a little bit of agony for me. Especially, when the family behind us were good friends of me and my husband. Afterwards, I mentioned how I was nervous to my husband. He said that most of the older folks were looking at me and smiling. That kind of made me feel good!

But, I have to say, that I’m so thankful that I wore it, and will always try to cover my head from now on. Sunday’s readings were so incredibly on point for me, I’m not sure they would have been as clear to me had I not been wearing the mantilla. I believe Sunday was a turning point in my life and I praise God for it.

I understand exactly what you mean, as I had the same experience. I was extremely nervous the first time I wore my mantilla in my N.O. parish, and I wouldn’t look at people that much, either, the first few times. But my husband would always tell me who was looking, if they were happy, sad, etc. Most of the looks I get are from children who just want to know what that thing on my head is for?

It feels good to do something you feel called to. It takes courage, but it’s very much worth the effort.

 

[John_Sales]

Wear your mantilla with pride ! I was a sacristan at Westminster Cathedral from 1961-71, and ladies were required to cover their heads - the mantillas were very varied, but all enhanced their wearers’ devotional appearance.

Deo Gratias

 

[simple_soul]

Dear kleine_katerine,

After reading almost all of the posts here I would suggest, like a few others have, that you ask your spiritual advisor about wearing a mantilla. I can speek from my experience that one should make sure they wear it for the right reasons because if they do it for the wrong reasons, no matter how good or noble the intentions may be, it could do more damage to one’s spiritual growth than good.

As for what others may think of you wearing one, why would it matter what they think? Do it for what you think and if it brings you closer to God by all means wear one!

My friends, sisters and I do not let something like a mantilla get in the way of our spiritual growth and friendship.

With my humble prayers,

 

[lizaanne]

As for what others may think of you wearing one, why would it matter what they think? Do it for what you think and if it brings you closer to God by all means wear one!

Because we are women who are sensitive, who live in a culture where we will not run with the norm, where we want to do the right thing, where a liberal culture tells us we can’t be women in this way because then we loose our identity.

Whatever.

Of course these women are doing this for the right reason, it is blatantly clear by reading their comments! I don’t see anyone here talking about how pretty they are, or flippant and silly comments. So while I believe your post is well intentioned, it is also a bit insulting to those who have prayed very long and hard about doing this.

~Liza

 

[ML561]

Grace and Peace be with you. I have been wanting to wear a chapel veil (not sure if it is long enough to qualify as a mantilla) for some time now. I see a few women in my parish who wear them (I also attend Mass at another parish where casual dress is the norm and do not want to seem pretentious at those services) but I think it is beautiful. I’m 48 years old and maybe it is time to say to heck with what others think and do what I feel led to do. I also dress up for Mass and really wish for the days when hats and gloves were the norm. A gentleman friend of mine feels the same way and would like to wear a suit and fedora. This has nothing to do with anything regarding the Mass, but do any of you out there think that the lack of dressing up has also contributed to the spread of rudeness in general? Well, I am going to wear my veil at the next Mass I attend. Thanks for all the support out there. I just hope that I will not appear pretentious or that I am better than other people, that is not my intent. (I know that Michelle Obama got some criticism for wearing a veil for the audience with Pope Benedict. Much ado about nothing, I say. .)

This is off the subject a bit but I would appreciate some feedback. At the church I visit which is outside of my parish, there are no kneelers. The congregation stands during the entire Eucharistic Prayer. I kneel on the floor at the appropriate times. I would feel wrong doing otherwise, yet at the same time feel self-conscious and out of place, thinking that again, I might seem pretentious. Yet it does not seem right not to kneel…please give me some insight on to what I should do when visiting this parish. I want to do the right thing in regard to the order of Mass, yet I do not want to offend others.