Awkward situation

[DiZent]

This past weekend, my father & step-mom celebrated their 40th anniversary. They had a re-commitment ceremony at a Methodist church and invited all their families & friends to share in it. Both (converts) had been married to their former spouses in the Catholic Church, left it when they divorced, and did not seek annulments before remarrying, and both former spouses are still living. Now these divorces and remarriage happened when I was still a child, and I learned to accept my “blended family” long ago. Now, as an adult, I understand and accept the teachings of the Catholic Church, and that this marriage, while legal in the eyes of the law, is not valid in the eyes of the Church. I really struggled with attending this - my children & I are the only ones who are Catholic. I love them, but it did not feel right. I prayed that they would both seek reconciliation with the Church.

 

[Gerry_Hunter]

Well, keep praying, for sure

First off, you are an innocent party to all that has taken place. Don’t lose sight of that fact. You did not create the situation, and in particular, you cannot “fix” it, and it is not really incumbent on you to try.

That being said, I sense that your disposition is to be kind to these people, and that’s certainly for the good, and to your credit. These folks seem to be living proof that people who are not really evil can get into real messes none the less. All it takes is a tragic mistake. From the sounds of what you posted (brief though it was), the word “unfortunate” certainly seems to have a place in describing their situation.

So meet good faith with good faith in your interactions with them. And if it should come to it, do not be afraid to tell them, should they seek to know, that you are troubled by the unfortunate aspects of their relationship, even though you still love them.

It is not true that you cannot love people without loving the situation they are in. And if others cannot accept that from us, there’s not much we can do – except, of course, pray.

Blessings,

Gerry

 

[nana3]

This past weekend, my father & step-mom celebrated their 40th anniversary. They had a re-commitment ceremony at a Methodist church and invited all their families & friends to share in it. Both (converts) had been married to their former spouses in the Catholic Church, left it when they divorced, and did not seek annulments before remarrying, and both former spouses are still living. Now these divorces and remarriage happened when I was still a child, and I learned to accept my “blended family” long ago. Now, as an adult, I understand and accept the teachings of the Catholic Church, and that this marriage, while legal in the eyes of the law, is not valid in the eyes of the Church. I really struggled with attending this - my children & I are the only ones who are Catholic. I love them, but it did not feel right. I prayed that they would both seek reconciliation with the Church.

I understand what you are going through. It is awkward indeed. My dh’s parents divorced about 18 years ago. His mother got remarried without an annulment. My dh til this day will not acknowledge their marriage as valid and has told them why. His mother hates the Church and is now in another denomination. Since I married dh after his mother was married, I did not have to attend the wedding. My dh was tore and did attend, but told his mother the way he felt. She was fine with it and respected his feelings, but since our marriage, we have never sent them an anniversary card. My dh’s dad just remarried a little over 9 months ago. DH also told his dad about his feelings about how he is living, but his dad was never CAtholic and cares less. We did not attend that wedding for it was in the middle of the school year and we could not afford to go up North.

You are not alone. All we can do is pray that some day they will see the LIGHT and repent. They don’t even know they are living in adultery, or some don’t know or want to accept it.

I will keep you in prayer as well as praying for the conversion of all those in your family. Please pray for my in-laws as well.