Aww man... Sad story

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redtech

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My brother and his girlfriend live together. :rolleyes: thats not quite the sad part.

The girlfriend has a cousin that just turned 12. Her mother died last year and she’d never met her dad. He’d been in and out of jail and she had to go live with him for a while. It didn’t work out and she got the state to put her in my bro’s girlfriends custody. She’s a super sweet girl but apparently she gives them trouble at home and backtalks my brother and won’t do her chores. They also have a 4 year old who is picking up bad habits from the 12 year old.

Bro’s girlfriend got her foster care license and was working on adopting her. They’ve finally had enough and can’t deal with her so they called the case worker and told them to come and get her. I think its mostly my brother who talked the girlfriend into getting rid of her.

They are going to come on Friday to pick her up. They haven’t told the 12 year old. The case worker agreed to take the blame and say it was their call.

Its breaking my heart to know that this young girls life is going to get turned upside down AGAIN and she doesn’t even know about it. They are just going to show up on Friday and tell her to pack up her stuff, she’s off to live with some strangers. 😦
 
I am so sorry that is happening. How sad, there is no chance they can even try to work it out? I will pray for that young girl, it is not easy to lose a parent.
 
That’s awful. Won’t they even try to get help? How very sad! I will keep them all in my prayers. Maybe they will change their minds between now and Friday! Keep us posted please!
 
Oh no. Losing your mother at such a tough age is probably causing her lots of problems. She needs professional counseling support that your bro cannot provide. Was that made available?

Do your bro and his girlfriend have any support from church? Do they go to church? It sounds like they needed support in dealing with this and did not seek it or didn’t get it?

I feel very sad for all of you 😦 , and I will pray for the girl and for you, your bro and his girlfriend.
 
I will pray for the young girl who has now learned how disposable she is and how disposable humans are in the eyes of some people. I have raised four children whose parents ‘disposed’ of them much the same way. They too suffered from ODD, Separation Disorder, etc., from starting fires in our home to cutting up anything that belonged to my husband, they acted out their anger without an understanding of where it was coming from. We just stayed on them, prayed, stayed with them, prayed, kept them in counseling, prayed, and lived as an example, showing them that love heals. The oldest two are married now, one is working on his Master’s and the other on his PhD. The youngest two are both engaged and are still working on their degrees. The young lady you wrote about simply needs a religious foundation, a consistent family, and a LOT of love. I am proud to say too that, we never had money, rarely had insurance, and unfortunately were never recipients of the benefits available to parents these days. I pray more people will adopt children - of any age. Ours were in elementary school when we adopted them, they know who and where their biological parents are, and they know who their family are. The bond is just as strong with them as with my biological child.
 
So sad, poor little thing. I hope your brother and his girlfriend try to talk to her about choices, but 12 is very young and after such a life, the little girl probably isn’t very open to reason. As long as your brother and his girlfriend tell her they love her but want what is best for her and maybe that is with another person who is more qualified to handle a troubled child.
I am praying so hard that there is another person out there for this little girl who can help her and will.
 
Very sad. I am surprised DCFS is willing to take the hit.

I too shall pray for this poor little girl, because that’s really what she is, a little girl.
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
Very sad. I am surprised DCFS is willing to take the hit.

I too shall pray for this poor little girl, because that’s really what she is, a little girl.
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Maybe they realize she is not in the right home. Maybe this will be the best move for her. To find her a family that understands what she has gone through and can help her. I’ll keep praying!
 
I am so sad to hear this. I will pray for this poor child. Even if your brother and his girlfriend are unable to care for her, I hope they keep in touch with her. I hope she will be found a loving home where she will feel secure.
 
Thanks everyone.

No my brother and his girlfriend are not church goers. The little girl and her mother were very religious. I think the girlfriend takes her every other week or so and drops her off. At least she’s still going. I know I completely lost faith when my brother died and I was 18 at the time. I can’t imagine losing my MOTHER at age 11.

I think they all did some counselling together and seperately. They’ve tried to work it out several times and things just don’t get better. I really blame my brother for a good deal of it. He picks on her all the time. :mad:

My heart is breaking for her. Like an above poster said though, maybe this is whats best. She does need to be in a loving home. She has grandparents and other aunts and uncles but no one wants her because she does lie and she is difficult. But you know, GEEZ, Come on! Her life is in turmoil, anyone would be difficult after going through that. 😦

They will still see each other. Its a fairly small town and there are only 5 foster parent families in town and they even said she’ll be able to visit anyone she likes. She’ll still be in the same school and still be with her friends.

The girlfriend told me it finally got to the point where she picked the girl or my brother because they couldn’t live together so she picked my brother… I told her it wouldn’t have hurt our feelings if she’d picked the little girl. :rolleyes:
 
redtech said:
Thanks everyone.

No my brother and his girlfriend are not church goers. The little girl and her mother were very religious. I think the girlfriend takes her every other week or so and drops her off. At least she’s still going. I know I completely lost faith when my brother died and I was 18 at the time. I can’t imagine losing my MOTHER at age 11. Hopefully her new family will allow her to continue, and because it’s a small town she could even walk in good weather. I also hope her church family doesn’t abandon her. This could be a really good support and continuity system for her.

I think they all did some counselling together and seperately. They’ve tried to work it out several times and things just don’t get better. I really blame my brother for a good deal of it. He picks on her all the time. :mad: Hugs for you. :console: It isn’t easy to have relatives who are behaving badly, to put it mildly.

They will still see each other. Its a fairly small town and there are only 5 foster parent families in town and they even said she’ll be able to visit anyone she likes. She’ll still be in the same school and still be with her friends. Another good continuity point.

The girlfriend told me it finally got to the point where she picked the girl or my brother because they couldn’t live together so she picked my brother… I told her it wouldn’t have hurt our feelings if she’d picked the little girl. :rolleyes: I understand!😃
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redtech said:
I think they all did some counselling together and seperately. They’ve tried to work it out several times and things just don’t get better. I really blame my brother for a good deal of it. He picks on her all the time. :mad:
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Boyfriends come and go. Your brother’s girlfriend shouldn’t be forced to pick between him and her own sister. Especially if it’s your brother’s behaviour which causes the outburts in the young girl who lost her mother a year ago.
My heart is breaking for her. Like an above poster said though, maybe this is whats best. She does need to be in a loving home. She has grandparents and other aunts and uncles but no one wants her because she does lie and she is difficult. But you know, GEEZ, Come on! Her life is in turmoil, anyone would be difficult after going through that. 😦
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Ask them to state in the papers that the little girl is Catholic, so that the new custodians will take her to church or allow her to go?
The girlfriend told me it finally got to the point where she picked the girl or my brother because they couldn’t live together so she picked my brother… I told her it wouldn’t have hurt our feelings if she’d picked the little girl. :rolleyes:
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I don’t wish to sow disagreement here, but does your brother know that his picking on the girl is making his girlfriend choose him over her? Can you talk it into his head? Does he want to hurt both of them?
 
chevalier said:
Boyfriends come and go. Your brother’s girlfriend shouldn’t be forced to pick between him and her own sister. Especially if it’s your brother’s behaviour which causes the outburts in the young girl who lost her mother a year ago.

Ask them to state in the papers that the little girl is Catholic, so that the new custodians will take her to church or allow her to go?

She isn’t Catholic, she’s baptist.

I don’t wish to sow disagreement here, but does your brother know that his picking on the girl is making his girlfriend choose him over her? Can you talk it into his head? Does he want to hurt both of them?
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I think my brother knows full well what he’s doing. He sees her as a freeloader and wants her out of his house so he’s caused as much friction as he can to get the girlfriend to get her out of there. I’m really angry with my brother right now. :mad: That little girl needs someone to care for her and all he can do is be a jerk. We lost a brother. He knows how it feels. I don’t know why he has no compassion. He fell away from the church when our older brother died but he never came back. He says he’s an athiest now.:nope:
 
Adding my prayers, and I hope that this little girl finds the stable and loving home she needs.

:gopray2:
 
That’s terrible! I am sorry to hear about that! Is there anyone else that may be able to take care of her? Any other siblings, or close cousins or aunts or uncles? That’s horrible!

My bil’s cousin went through this, she lost her mother when she was 17 and her little brother was 12… He was adopted by his grandparents, and she was just left on her own since she was graduating hs and had a pt job… they figured she would make it. My bil asked my parents for help and she still lives with my parents… I don’t like her very much because she runs over my parents but that’s their choice even though she disrespected my grandmother and everything… 🤷

Anyhow, when I got divorced things were really hard on my daughter, still is. BUT I took her to a counselor and slowly she’s getting better…

My sil’s father died when she was 7 or 8. And 2 years later her mother started dating… IT was really hard for her, and she ran away from home…for about 3 months went to her older sister’s house… But they never gave up on her, and that’s what this little girl needs.

It’s a difficult and delicate time, I am sorry that your brother might not be happy with this little girl since she isn’t his child and her negativity is influencing their tiny tot, but “siblings” are like that and smaller children catch up to the elder’s attitudes… I have 3 kids and they are all trying to be little brats like their older sister, it’s a work in progress…Is there any way you may speak with him to look at it as he’s giving this child the gift of hope and opportunity if he allows her to stay? Eventually she’ll grow out of it with guidance. I know she’s close to her ranting teenage years but as long as they stick by her they will help this child make it.

I hope GOD guides them to reconsider their decisions…That child’s life is not going to be a good one if everyone keeps pushing her away!! 😦 GOD please help this little girl, keep her under your wing, and guide this couple to continue sharing the love you give them to her, grant them patience, understanding, and compassion! God bless!
 
I’m sorry about what has happened. Has the girl ever received any counseling or anything. I agree it is sad that other relatives don’t want to take her.
 
How very sad, my heart and prayers go out to this little girl, she really needs to know that she is loved. If possible can you tell us her first name? so I can name her when I pray
 
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