Babies and young children at Mass

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Contra_Mundum_1

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Do you bring babies and young children to Mass?

Most people would agree that they are adorable when they are quiet but what when they are not? How much does it bother you?
Some parents leave the church immediately when the little ones start being fussy, others don’t because they think that children should be welcome in church.

I’m having a baby very soon and plan to take it to Mass (and take it outside if it starts making noise) but feel a bit unsure about it at the same time. In my parish people are annoyed when children are heard. They are too polite to say anything to parents directly but it is definitely felt as a general attitude. This is the only TLM around here and I would love to keep attending it. On the other hand, is a NO “children’s Mass” a better option in your opinion?

Thank you!
 
I once heard of a priest, who when a young mother tried to take her cyring baby out of church, actually say from the Ambo, ***
“Do not take that baby out of here! Listen everyone, this is the same sound the our Lord Jesus Christ made many times in His human life,
you wouldn’t want to take Him out of church, would you?!”***:clapping:

As far as bringing your baby to the EF, I say "go for it"👍,

Congratulations and God Bless!
 
I would much rather hear a fussy baby in church every week of his life than see a 5-year old with no idea of the Mass.

I’d rather see a toddler munching cheerios during the homily than see the kid who is finally brought to mass for FHC never to be seen again until his Confirmation or wedding.

Take the baby to church. When he has had a fussy Sunday morning and after mass when the older ladies tell you that his behavior was “perfectly okay, bless his heart” believe them.
 
Our Lord’s opinion :

Matthew 18:1 - 6
Matthew 19: 13 - 15

God bless 🙂
 
Don’t be afraid to take your baby to mass. It is part of our faith that the whole family is present together. As a Mom of four it was a lot easier to bring my newborn to church than my 2 year old. Take the baby to the back to rock her if she is fussy, it wouldn’t be church without the children. At my parish we organized a co-op of mom’s that would take care of kids during the toddler years to help out so that we could concentrate during mass. Maybe there are some mom’s at your parish looking for this type of relief. We requested a room near the church and just watch the toddlers for the mass. It helped me to get to know people from my church and to meet other parents.
For right now I would just concentrate on having a healthy baby and worry about the outbursts that eavery child has in another year or so.
If people are intolerant of a baby cry than I would wonder why they belong to such a pro-life and pro-child religion.
Your friend in Christ,
Jennifer
 
I am one of those over the hill guys, 75 years old. When I see and hear the babies and children at Mass it brings me to tears for they are the ones who will carry our beloved Church forward after I am gone. Some of us old people get grouchy at times. Ignore us and bring on the little ones. 🙂
 
cctabb said:
I would much rather hear a fussy baby in church every week of his life than see a 5-year old with no idea of the Mass.

I’d rather see a toddler munching cheerios during the homily than see the kid who is finally brought to mass for FHC never to be seen again until his Confirmation or wedding.

Take the baby to church. When he has had a fussy Sunday morning and after mass when the older ladies tell you that his behavior was “perfectly okay, bless his heart” believe them.
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Sorry to be a party pooper but what really annoys me are the children who are at First Communion age and older and have been coming to Mass from newborns and still don’t know how to behave or what it’s all about. It’s not their faults, of course, but bad catechesis.
 
As the father of a 15 month old that has never missed a Mass I say bring them. If he gets fussy we go to cry room in back of church. If theres no room in there we may stand in back and bounce him a bit. That usually helps. Our priest has also said he would rather have all the crying babies than not have one there.

God bless,
Jesse
 
Oneofthewomen said:
I once heard of a priest, who when a young mother tried to take her cyring baby out of church, actually say from the Ambo, ***
“Do not take that baby out of here! Listen everyone, this is the same sound the our Lord Jesus Christ made many times in His human life,
you wouldn’t want to take Him out of church, would you?!”***:clapping:

As far as bringing your baby to the EF, I say "go for it"👍,

Congratulations and God Bless!
Click to expand...
Our pastor has done the same thing (on more than one occasion).

👍
 
rwoehmke said:
I am one of those over the hill guys, 75 years old. When I see and hear the babies and children at Mass it brings me to tears for they are the ones who will carry our beloved Church forward after I am gone. Some of us old people get grouchy at times. Ignore us and bring on the little ones. 🙂
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:love:

I agree with the others, we bring our 12 month old to Mass every Sunday and every Holy Day of Obligation. It is better for the children to be there and learn than to stay away and not be able to sit through Mass at 5 years old.
 
By the time my children were about 4, they were extremely well behaved at mass. (They can be awful in many other places, but I am very proud of their behavior in church :)) We got to this point by making sure that the Church was always respected - no noise, no eating, no silliness. It is God’s time, not theirs.

We rarely attended Mass every Sunday as a family. There was nothing to be gained spiritually from chasing small children running everywhere. When they are too young to learn, you are only making yourself and the little one(s) miserable.

As the child matures, you can bring them more and more often, but if they’re still trying to run up the aisle and make noise throughout, they are not ready. Being able to go to Mass then becomes a goal to be attained, and then an accomplishment the child can be proud of.

They can do cartwheels in the parking lot, but once inside, this is God’s house, and will be respected. The Church is a place for reverence and permitting silly behavior when you are there is not laying a proper faith foundation.
 
I agree: bring your baby to Mass! There’s no need to feel ashamed. Don’t let other people dictate what’s best for your children’s souls. My personaly preference is that I wouldn’t bring my kids to a Children’s Mass, at least not regularly. I see no reason to. At my parish, the kids probably outnumber adults, but it is not at all rowdy.

Our kids slept through Mass for the first 6 months anyway, so you should have time to adjust. 🙂

There are varying philosophies. Some parents take their kids to the back at the slightest noise. Others will never take their kids to the back regardless. And everything in between.

We didn’t want out kids to get in the habit of thinking that all they have to do is whine a little and they get to go play in the vestibule. Nonetheless, there are certain times where it’s really the only option. Once you have your kid, you’ll notice the difference between “I’m just a little whiny” and “I’m having a total meltdown.” Fortunately, we’ve only had to deal with the meltdowns a handful of times. When they’re just a little whiny, often whispering things in their ear helps.

I think the earlier and more often you bring kids to Mass, the easier it is for them to learn how to properly behave.
 
rwoehmke said:
I am one of those over the hill guys, 75 years old. When I see and hear the babies and children at Mass it brings me to tears for they are the ones who will carry our beloved Church forward after I am gone. Some of us old people get grouchy at times. Ignore us and bring on the little ones. 🙂
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SO TRUE!!!👍
 
Don’t worry about what other people think.

Yes it is possible that your baby will distract some people. But that really is their problem.

When my kids were smaller my wife and I would often alternate when we went to mass. This was more for the sake of the baby and ourselves than concern for those who are annoyed by the sound of a crying baby. If you have your baby with you it is very difficult to be in the right frame of mind for the mass. Babies just require a lot of attention. Also it isn’t always the best idea to take a newborn into a crowded place (church crowded?). Lots of germs.

Worst case scenario is the baby starts crying really loud so you take the baby to the vestibule or outside. No big deal.

Also think about this.
Imagine if someone came up to you and gave you one million dollars, no strings attached. How happy would you be? Could anything annoy you then? Well how much better is what we receive during mass? I don’t understand how anyone could be get annoyed for any reason. There is something wrong with people who get annoyed.
 
Charity towards others always solves this problem. Bring your child to Mass, but then be respectful to others if you need to step out. I believe it is much easier to have behaved children at Mass if they are brought up in Mass. I have a five year old that sits with me in Mass a few feet from the microphone. He understood since the time he was able to talk that Church is special and not a place for play.
 
Thanks everybody for being so encouraging!

I guess my husband and I will figure something out when the baby is born-at the moment we have no clue what it actually will be like to attend church with the youngster 🙂

I’m quite against family/children/teenage masses. I see no reason to adapt the Holy Mass to certain age groups. I want my kids to learn that they must behave in church and that Mass is not supposed to be ‘fun’ in a childish way.
The congregation at the Mass I attend is quite small and we are going to be the only couple with a newborn baby. I hope the parishoners will be tolerant of a bit of noise and distraction 😊
 
Our priest would rather there be a dozen crying babies in Mass than even one parent leaving. In my experience, most priests are like that. He makes it a point when meeting a new family to suggest they sit in front, as children will behave better when they can see what’s going on. They can also be seen clearly by the priest, making them less likely to act up because they know he’s able to see them. Win/win 🙂
 
You have no idea how much it bothers me.

I understand that you should be able to sit in mass and that babies are a precious gift but crying is distracting and I do get thrown off when I hear it. I would be okay with a separate room that is sound proof.
 
onegreenclover said:
You have no idea how much it bothers me.

I understand that you should be able to sit in mass and that babies are a precious gift but crying is distracting and I do get thrown off when I hear it. I would be okay with a separate room that is sound proof.
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It is for people like you that I have always made it a point to step out for a while when things got bad. It seems to be a balanced approach. Yes, it might be a distraction, but it doesn’t last. In the long run, a child learns how to behave and cease being a distraction. Win-win.

With my son, I had to do it a dozen times over four years.
 
The kids don’t bother me at all. I’m focused on what is going on in the Mass and I usually don’t even notice. My own 4yr old isn’t always on his best behavior but he’s not terrible either, so we do ok. He’s gotten better - it’s hard for kids his age to sit still through a High EF Mass…

Generally the parents in our Church won’t leave with the kids unless they’re really screaming, which doesn’t seem to happen too often.

One of the Parishes I had been going to a while back had a kids’ room, and between being in the main Church with screaming babies and a cry-room with kids who are being permitted to do whatever they please because its sound-proofed, I’ll take the main Church. 😃
 
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