Babies At Mass

[Karin]

And so do mine…

The question is how do we get them to do it ALL the time?

My hubby has suggested we chain them to the pew… (In case you missed it: chaining the kids to the pew is a joke )

Oh we usually have the cast iron frying pan with us…one good whack to the head solves all problems (please note that this is a joke also)

 

[Mommyof02green]

Oh we usually have the cast iron frying pan with us…one good whack to the head solves all problems (please note that this is a joke also)

 

[jmcrae]

Copious amounts of Duct tape has always worked for us …

 

[Mommyof02green]

Copious amounts of Duct tape has always worked for us …

I don’t know… Our parish as a rule about tape and the pews.

Basicly you are NOT allow to tape things to the pews because the tape can damage the pew.

If you want things to stay on (or in) the pew then you are asked to “clip” them on… That’s why my hubby favors chaining them.

However, I told him NO. Only because “HISTORY” would get the wrong impression re: Children and Church. I mean look what happen with the Bible. Didn’t we use to chain bibles to something in the church

Anyway, I just think some get bend out of shape over a “crying” baby or “wiggly” toddler. We should be thankful that the children are there. We should be thankful that the young families are there.

Some like to clam that the Catholic Church is “dead” and the young are not there, that nobody is there, but a few older people.

I think that parents should just use common sense. If your child becomes too much and unruly then remove them, and bring them back when they are clam and ready.

I think that those around them should have a little patience

We were sitting behind some nuns one day at Church and my daughter became a little fussy. She at the time was around 6 months old and teething. I was trying to sooth her before she became real fussy. Sister turn around and said give her here… so I handed my daughter over to Sister

In a few minutes my daughter was quiet as a church mouse. Well I didn’t know what to think, so I peered over Sister’s shoulders to see what Sister had done. What did Sister do that I didn’t? What’s the “trick”?

Well would you believe that Sister gave my daughter her rosary beads to chew on… you know the huge ones that they have wrapped around their waist.

I went to tell my daughter No don’t do that. After all she’s chewing on a Rosary, and not just any Rosary but Sister’s Rosary.

Sister looked at me and said “leave her, she fine, I gave it to her, she quiet now, I’m watching her, she safe”

Which was nice that day! I remember my little one was just a little bit more fussy then normal, due to teething. Her 16 month-old brother was climbing on me, and Dad was the lector for the day, so he was up at the altar. Normally my Mom and Sister’s are at Mass, but that day they were NOT. So it was just me, and the 6 month-old and 16 month-old in the pew.

I don’t wait around for someone to say something or do something… that just what happen that one day. She was just a little fussy, just enough for the people right in front of us or behind us to hear… Sister decided to take her… I decided to let Sister, cause I mean how do you tell a Nun “no” and because it was just me and the 2 kids I was thankful that someone wanted to help.

I can tell you that if I could not have quiet my little one down I would have taken her and her 16 month-old bother out in the vestibule with me.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

Hmm…are you stating all parents are like this?
I can assure you that my kids know how to behave at Mass…

Karin…Did I say ALL parents? Obvioualy it pertains to the parents of children who continually misbehave and nothing is done about it. Also to crying and screaming babies and toddlers who…do disrupt the Mass. Good for you that yours know how to behave…wish more parents gave the effort.

:heart:Blyss

 

[Cranch]

I wish everyone here could be as reasonable as you are. God Bless you and a Merry Christmas to you and yours! (we need an angel smilie)

:angel1: There you go! (click more in the Smilie box and scroll)

 

[netmilsmom]

:angel1: There you go! (click more in the Smilie box and scroll)

Well ya learn something new every day. Thanks!!!

 

[Karin]

Karin…Did I say ALL parents? Obvioualy it pertains to the parents of children who continually misbehave and nothing is done about it. Also to crying and screaming babies and toddlers who…do disrupt the Mass. Good for you that yours know how to behave…wish more parents gave the effort.

:heart:Blyss

Blyss-
Nope but it sure reads like that…that is why I asked…no need to attack a person for asking a “simple” question

 

[netmilsmom]

Blyss-
Nope but it sure reads like that…that is why I asked…no need to attack a person for asking a “simple” question

It doesn’t read that way to me. All of us here agree that when parents allow throwing food and ripping Hymnals, they are not trying to teach a child how to behave.

The “simple” question is antagonistic. Asking this question of this poster, it is out of context of the rest of her posts. This thread is eight pages long. You may or may not have read every post of it but if you read through this poster’s posts, you would have seen that she has stated many times the problems of children who were not taught that those behaviors are not acceptable, and not the norm.

While you and I have taught our children that throwing food and ripping hymnals is not acceptable, I’m sure that you can conceed that in today’s society, there are people who should be a little more like us. It’s not judgemental, it’s a fact.

At my parish, it’s preschoolers running the church while the parents pray in the main. And maybe two families out of 850. While they are not the norm, they do exist.

By identifying the problem we can solve the problem.

 

[Karin]

It doesn’t read that way to me.

that is fair…but it read that way to me that is why I asked for clarification…no biggie

All of us here agree that when parents allow throwing food and ripping Hymnals, they are not trying to teach a child how to behave.

totally agree!

The “simple” question is antagonistic.

not at all…it was simply asking for clarification on something that was posted…Geez!

Asking this question of this poster, it is out of context of the rest of her posts. This thread is eight pages long. You may or may not have read every post of it but if you read through this poster’s posts, you would have seen that she has stated many times the problems of children who were not taught that those behaviors are not acceptable, and not the norm.

I have read most of the posts on this thread…thanks for the concern netmil(name removed by moderator)…once again this was nothing more than a simple question asking for clarification on something was posted…it seems that some take offense to that

While you and I have taught our children that throwing food and ripping hymnals is not acceptable, I’m sure that you can conceed that in today’s society, there are people who should be a little more like us. It’s not judgemental, it’s a fact.

I am sure that you are right…but I have not witnessed what you guys aer describing…the kiddies in our parish do not throw food, rip hymnals, or anything else that you and blyss have described!

By identifying the problem we can solve the problem.

I think we can pretty much agree…the problem has been identified…now lets work on a solution:thumbsup:

 

[Marauder]

I think you are being slightly ridiculous…which is usually the tactic when a person does not actually have anything to add to the discussion.

If you don’t think I have something to add then you know where the ignore button is. If the moderators think my post was SPAM or inappropriate then I will concur but I was trying to show just how ridiculus cry rooms are. There are many distractions at Mass and kids are just one of them. As a church for life we should be supporting the parents, not tsk, tsk, tsk, or shunning or embarrasing the parents.

People have been saying how parents should be using the cry room, for more then just a place when the baby is crying. I was showing how ridiculous that is. We are a community whether you like it or not. To place ANYONE behind walls because you don’t like the noise they make, the things they are doing is, horrible. Many people on here think they can judge when another person’s kid is misbehaving. Beyond the obvious situations (screamers, hymnal tearers, etc.) it is nobodies right but the parents to judge them.

Many people on here are judging parents based on assuming what works for them should work for everyone. Just because some people think that not bringing their kids to Mass and doing the swing shift thing is a good thing, doesn’t mean all parents think the same thing or can even do it. Honestly I think it is a huge disservice not to bring your kid to Mass unless they are having a real bad day. To even imply to anyone other then your own kids that they should be doing that is extremely uncharitable.

Pure and simple, keep you mind on the Mass. Keep you mind on the worshipping of God. That is why you are there. If a child starts screaming and you can’t hear what is going on at Mass, thank God that the kid survived the mass murder that has been happening since 1973. Thank God the kid has the strength and lung capacity to do that. Pray to God that the kid may become the next member of a religious community or priest. Stop judging the parents. It is not your place.

 

[netmilsmom]

Pure and simple, keep you mind on the Mass. Keep you mind on the worshipping of God. That is why you are there. If a child starts screaming and you can’t hear what is going on at Mass, thank God that the kid survived the mass murder that has been happening since 1973. Thank God the kid has the strength and lung capacity to do that. Pray to God that the kid may become the next member of a religious community or priest. Stop judging the parents. It is not your place.

Nor is it your place to judge the person who can’t hear.
It goes both ways.

 

[Marauder]

Nor is it your place to judge the person who can’t hear.
It goes both ways.

I am not judging the person that can’t hear. In fact I am to busy praying for the child and for the people that say nasty things to parents or give angry looks etc to the parents that their hearts may be softened. Or I am praying the lines being said by the priest because unless it is the homily or announcements, I know what he is saying anyway.

 

[netmilsmom]

I am sure that you are right…but I have not witnessed what you guys aer describing…the kiddies in our parish do not throw food, rip hymnals, or anything else that you and blyss have described!

So maybe this is a perspective problem for those that choose to judge the people venting about undisciplining parents.

When you have never seen something, it’s hard to believe. That’s only human.

My family arrived for Holy Mass one snowy day and found one of the five year olds climbing on a pile of snow near the driveway, alone. It was dusk.

Did I run in screaming and hollering for all to hear? No. But I did take the child by the hand and lead her to her mother stating that it was unsafe for her to be out alone at dusk in a neighborhood with six sexual offenders according to the State of MI. I told her that we all feel safe coming to the parish but it’s the neighborhood we need to watch for.
One night when leaving a parish event, a seven year old was sitting on the curb waiting for her dad who went to a hardware store. We waited with her until the dad arrived and said the same to him.

I wasn’t rude or mean, I stated it firmly and kindly.

These are good parents, but sometimes get really comfortable with their children’s behavior. Even in Holy Mass, some parents are the last to stop the fights or loud misbehaviors every week. If we say nothing, we enable them to continue when we should be helping. All of us need to help.

Part of the solution is what I strive for.

 

[Karin]

My family arrived for Holy Mass one snowy day and found one of the five year olds climbing on a pile of snow near the driveway, alone. It was dusk.

Did I run in screaming and hollering for all to hear? No. But I did take the child by the hand and lead her to her mother stating that it was unsafe for her to be out alone at dusk in a neighborhood with six sexual offenders according to the State of MI. I told her that we all feel safe coming to the parish but it’s the neighborhood we need to watch for.
One night when leaving a parish event, a seven year old was sitting on the curb waiting for her dad who went to a hardware store. We waited with her until the dad arrived and said the same to him.

I wasn’t rude or mean, I stated it firmly and kindly.

These are good parents, but sometimes get really comfortable with their children’s behavior. Even in Holy Mass, some parents are the last to stop the fights or loud misbehaviors every week. If we say nothing, we enable them to continue when we should be helping. All of us need to help.

Part of the solution is what I strive for.

totally agree!
it would seem that some folks have issues doing what you did and what I would do…speaking to the parents!

 

[Marauder]

These are good parents, but sometimes get really comfortable with their children’s behavior. Even in Holy Mass, some parents are the last to stop the fights or loud misbehaviors every week. If we say nothing, we enable them to continue when we should be helping. All of us need to help.

Part of the solution is what I strive for.

There is a difference between stepping in, helping a parent, letting them know about potential dangers, and judging them.

It is one thing to assist a child that is alone but to judge the parents as to whether they are good or bad parents isn’t your right. You don’t know why that child was alone (unless he told you.) It takes a community to raise a child.

But to judge the parents as bad parents (if you judged them as that) because this happened without knowing all the details isn’t for you.

Parents can always use well intentioned help, what they don’t need is judgemental attitudes, embarrasing looks, etc.

 

[netmilsmom]

There is a difference between stepping in, helping a parent, letting them know about potential dangers, and judging them.

It is one thing to assist a child that is alone but to judge the parents as to whether they are good or bad parents isn’t your right. You don’t know why that child was alone (unless he told you.) It takes a community to raise a child.

But to judge the parents as bad parents (if you judged them as that) because this happened without knowing all the details isn’t for you.

Parents can always use well intentioned help, what they don’t need is judgemental attitudes, embarrasing looks, etc.

If they are doing their best, why should they care? Maybe Mrs. So and So who gave an embarrassing look, just lost a daughter, or found out that she has cancer. It goes both ways.

I don’t judge them as “bad” parents but do understand that they lack parenting skills that causes problems for them and other parishioners. Facts are facts.

So understanding that no one should be judged, can you also state that judging those who do feel that certain parents should do more is also judging?

Do those that vent here get the same break or is it only parents?

 

[JMJDevotee]

As a parent, I also get frustrated when other parents allow their children to talk out loud in Mass, and these are not toddlers but kids I will begin prepping for Sacarments in a year or so.

IMHO, any child over the age of 3 should be taught how to sit still and be quiet during Mass. Of course there will be times when a child is cranky or unccoperative, but you deal with it and do your best not to incovenience your fellow parishoners.

Pax Vobiscum

 

[netmilsmom]

As a parent, I also get frustrated when other parents allow their children to talk out loud in Mass, and these are not toddlers but kids I will begin prepping for Sacarments in a year or so.

IMHO, any child over the age of 3 should be taught how to sit still and be quiet during Mass. Of course there will be times when a child is cranky or unccoperative, but you deal with it and do your best not to incovenience your fellow parishoners.

God Bless you! I agree!

Every child has moments. The whole thing comes down to effort.

Our parish is packed to the brim with children. I NEVER have a problem with a child’s behavior as long as the parent puts in an effort. Hey, even parents have bad days and can’t muster up the effort today. No problem.

The same parents with continual bad days need guidance and giving hints is helpful. Tactfully.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

If you don’t think I have something to add then you know where the ignore button is. If the moderators think my post was SPAM or inappropriate then I will concur but I was trying to show just how ridiculus cry rooms are. There are many distractions at Mass and kids are just one of them. As a church for life we should be supporting the parents, not tsk, tsk, tsk, or shunning or embarrasing the parents.

People have been saying how parents should be using the cry room, for more then just a place when the baby is crying. I was showing how ridiculous that is. We are a community whether you like it or not. To place ANYONE behind walls because you don’t like the noise they make, the things they are doing is, horrible. Many people on here think they can judge when another person’s kid is misbehaving. Beyond the obvious situations (screamers, hymnal tearers, etc.) it is nobodies right but the parents to judge them.

Many people on here are judging parents based on assuming what works for them should work for everyone. Just because some people think that not bringing their kids to Mass and doing the swing shift thing is a good thing, doesn’t mean all parents think the same thing or can even do it. Honestly I think it is a huge disservice not to bring your kid to Mass unless they are having a real bad day. To even imply to anyone other then your own kids that they should be doing that is extremely uncharitable.

Pure and simple, keep you mind on the Mass. Keep you mind on the worshipping of God. That is why you are there. If a child starts screaming and you can’t hear what is going on at Mass, thank God that the kid survived the mass murder that has been happening since 1973. Thank God the kid has the strength and lung capacity to do that. Pray to God that the kid may become the next member of a religious community or priest. Stop judging the parents. It is not your place.

Ahhh…I must have touched a sore nerve. Because your statements were ridiculous and it needed to be said that they were. How you can make comparisons about misbehaving children and people who cough or who are on respirators was nonsense and too bad you cannot see it.

I don’t see where people are judging. I am not saying that parents who are not able or who do not wish to TRY to make their children behave are bad parents. I AM saying, however, that some just don’t seem to care. That doesn’t make them bad parents…just parents whose kids I don’t want to be around when I am at Mass. Yes, I can judge when a child is misbehaving…can’t you? That doesn’t take a brain surgeon to see a misbehaving child. It also doesn’t take a brain surgeon to see parents who would rather not deal with their children and who would rather let them become the problem of the other parishioners and I would bet they are the problems of their neighbors too. People who do not make the effort to teach their children how to properly behave at Mass are usually the same people who do not feel there is any reason to make them behave in society. It takes effort to make children behave…there are some whom just do not want to bother and then there are some who really try and my hat is off to them. I can tell the difference and I would think most people could.

:heart:Blyss