Babies At Mass

[THutch04]

In all honesty, this is why I’m happy I don’t have a parish and I attend Mass at my college and at a Shrine the whole year; because there really aren’t any young children present. It’s nice, I like it that way.

Whenever something does happen though, I just think of how the parents must be feeling when their children are really uncontrollable. And truthfully, I can probably count the number of times on one hand that a parent has actually allowed their children to continue to fuss; most parents are really good about taking their children out and trying their best not to be a distraction to others.

 

[cecilia97]

That’s a pity.
We have bathrooms at our parish that are WELL used. 850 families with two bathrooms. Once a week cleaning was unacceptable to the moms. We take turns cleaning them ourselves.

Cecilia, you seem very reasonable in all this.
The OP said that the parents sat in the front row with disruptive children through the whole Holy Mass. That is the problem.
I stood in the back for more than my share of masses. I felt blessed to be one of the mothers who had children and to be there at all with my babies.
Cry room or not, no effort seemed to be made by these parents.

I understand that your child has special needs, but I don’t understand why adults like the OP cannot focus on Mass instead of the unruly children or noisy parents in front of them. Maybe the parents are acting incorrectly, but that does not give others the right to judge them. The actions at Mass are so important, and the OP admits the Mass he attends is beautiful…if it’s so lovely and important why is it still difficult to focus on?

I don’t have children, and I’m not even particularly fond of children, but crying children at Mass just do not bother me. Maybe I’m lucky.

The above poster is right, this topic will go around and around and get nowhere. It all comes down to “do unto others…”.

cecilia

 

[netmilsmom]

Nope have not read anything about this issues…but then my kids do not have these issues and none of the kids we attend mass with do either…perhaps if this issue effected me then I would read up on it

Well then it’s not quite fair to throw up the “ALL are WELCOME regardless of age, color handicap etc!” because you don’t really know whether a handicapped visitor would find noisy children unwelcoming.
Limitations on behavior for the common good are not unwelcoming, they are training a child.

Got me …go to the priest then and see what he advises…perhaps a change to an earlier mass or later one(fewer kids etc.) is what is needed…

i did not assume anything it was thrown out there as an option…and if one or two rows does not work what about 10-15 rows?

We have only 300 seats right now in our parish. We are very open to Life. Most families have over four and some up to 12 children. There isn’t a mass without chidren in our parish.
Children ARE welcome. In the cryroom, in the back and in the main. Playground noise is not.

 

[Karin]

Well then it’s not quite fair to throw up the “ALL are WELCOME regardless of age, color handicap etc!” because you don’t really know whether a handicapped visitor would find noisy children unwelcoming.
Limitations on behavior for the common good are not unwelcoming, they are training a child.

no it is fair to throw that up and out there…I dont have to know squat about those things…they are still welcome!..I did not say they had to like it (heck who is to say that their handicap is not disturbing to some?) …just that they where welcome …but on a side note…you dont hear kids at our masses…you hear the priest and the lectors…occaisionally the wind or rain

We have only 300 seats right now in our parish. We are very open to Life. Most families have over four and some up to 12 children. There isn’t a mass without chidren in our parish.
Children ARE welcome. In the cryroom, in the back and in the main. Playground noise is not.

well it sounds just like our parish (excpet for the isolation room)…if playground noise is not allowed or welcome (as is in most parishes) than perhaps some of you guys need to talk to some of these parents that you seem to be having issues with or perhaps your Priest needs to do this…since it seems to be a growing epidemic (ignorant parents)!

 

[netmilsmom]

I understand that your child has special needs, but I don’t understand why adults like the OP cannot focus on Mass instead of the unruly children or noisy parents in front of them. Maybe the parents are acting incorrectly, but that does not give others the right to judge them. The actions at Mass are so important, and the OP admits the Mass he attends is beautiful…if it’s so lovely and important why is it still difficult to focus on?

I don’t have children, and I’m not even particularly fond of children, but crying children at Mass just do not bother me. Maybe I’m lucky.

The above poster is right, this topic will go around and around and get nowhere. It all comes down to “do unto others…”.

cecilia

I have a friend who is blind. The babbling of children means he misses mass. His senses are heightened by making up for the one he is missing. Should he just focus?

All I’m saying is, everyone should be considerate. If your child is making noise, stay in the back. It’s only a year or two. (I did it, alone BTW)
If you are bothered by a parent with a child who is really putting in an effort, get over yourself.
But there should be no hint that someone is less than Christian if they can’t take the baby noise at Mass.

 

[Karin]

All I’m saying is, everyone should be considerate. If your child is making noise, stay in the back.

I have no issue with this…totally agree!

 

[netmilsmom]

no it is fair to throw that up and out there…I dont have to know squat about those things…they are still welcome!..I did not say they had to like it (heck who is to say that their handicap is not disturbing to some?) …just that they where welcome …but on a side note…you dont hear kids at our masses…you hear the priest and the lectors…occaisionally the wind or rain

I’m sorry so why do you think that children are not welcome into a parish that offers a cryroom? Basically, isn’t everyone welcome in every church?

 

[Karin]

I’m sorry so why do you think that children are not welcome into a parish that offers a cryroom?

did I say that? Nope, I just do not agree with crying rooms/isolation rooms! ANd I am glad that our parish and parishoners have no desire or need for one!

Basically, isn’t everyone welcome in every church?

Exaclty…all are welcome! It would seem that some have issues with this

 

[djrakowski]

I’m sorry so why do you think that children are not welcome into a parish that offers a cryroom? Basically, isn’t everyone welcome in every church?

Agreed. We use the cry room frequently, and I’ve never felt less welcome or less connected than I do when I sit in the main. I love that our church has that option, as our 6 year old has reached a stage of development where she has anxiety about sitting in the midst of such a large crowd in the main, so I think we’ll be using the cry room exclusively for a while. Either that, or she doesn’t go to Mass until her anxieties have subsided, which could be tomorrow or never. Thank God I don’t have to make the lesser choice in our parish.

 

[Jennifer_J]

I have a friend who is blind. The babbling of children means he misses mass. His senses are heightened by making up for the one he is missing. Should he just focus?

All I’m saying is, everyone should be considerate. If your child is making noise, stay in the back. It’s only a year or two. (I did it, alone BTW)
If you are bothered by a parent with a child who is really putting in an effort, get over yourself.
But there should be no hint that someone is less than Christian if they can’t take the baby noise at Mass.

Unless you are open to having more than say 2 children then it can be YEARS before you get to sit up front by your ‘rules’! We have 5 children (ages 9, 6, 5, 3 and 1). What about my older children, don’t they ever get to sit up front? We are VERY particular about behavior with our children and they are removed to the back as needed. I think most parents do this. If you are having trouble at your parish with this, then speak with your Priest about it. Don’t condem the rest of us for trying to do the best we can at Mass with young children. And for the record, most cry rooms are the LAST place to teach children about the Mass. It’s either horribly noisy with unruly children and parents or deathly quiet with no one participating. It’s not a welcoming space, at least for our family. Someone also had the bright idea of stocking it with TOYS AHHHHH yeah, lots of teaching going on in there!

I think charity needs to be granted to those on both sides–parents need to be responsible and those with distraction issues need to give us a break.

Jennifer

 

[thechrismyster]

lets ban babies, children who make noise, old people who take too long walking to communion, people who’s hair is too big and block views, heck, let’s block tall people as they may detract from short people at mass. maybe we can weed out the people who can’t carry a note but try to sing anyway… and no bathroom breaks, even if you really have to go. hold it tilll after mass. ANNOYING!

lets make mass all about US… screaming overgrown adult-children who can’t take ANY noise without going into a fit of rage over their right to have mass their way because it’s all about them.

Babies at mass are fine. people who have a problem with it need to work on themselves.

 

[netmilsmom]

Unless you are open to having more than say 2 children then it can be YEARS before you get to sit up front by your ‘rules’!

You are blessed to have that many children. Some of us could not. The years that you spend training your little ones is very rewarding. So what if you don’t sit up front? I’d give my right arm to have to stand in the back for the next twenty years if God had blessed me this way.

We have 5 children (ages 9, 6, 5, 3 and 1). What about my older children, don’t they ever get to sit up front?

Do you have a husband? Could he sit up front with the older ones?

We are VERY particular about behavior with our children and they are removed to the back as needed.

Why disrupt the mass with the “as needed”? Stay in the back. It really is still the church.

And for the record, most cry rooms are the LAST place to teach children about the Mass. It’s either horribly noisy with unruly children and parents or deathly quiet with no one participating. It’s not a welcoming space, at least for our family. Someone also had the bright idea of stocking it with TOYS AHHHHH yeah, lots of teaching going on in there!

Maybe you should speak with someone about it.

 

[netmilsmom]

lets ban babies, children who make noise, old people who take too long walking to communion, people who’s hair is too big and block views, heck, let’s block tall people as they may detract from short people at mass. maybe we can weed out the people who can’t carry a note but try to sing anyway… and no bathroom breaks, even if you really have to go. hold it tilll after mass. ANNOYING!

lets make mass all about US… screaming overgrown adult-children who can’t take ANY noise without going into a fit of rage over their right to have mass their way because it’s all about them.

Babies at mass are fine. people who have a problem with it need to work on themselves.

Your posts are the best! I love it when the Myster of sarcasm comes in!

 

[johnnykins]

lets ban babies, children who make noise, old people who take too long walking to communion, people who’s hair is too big and block views, heck, let’s block tall people as they may detract from short people at mass. maybe we can weed out the people who can’t carry a note but try to sing anyway… and no bathroom breaks, even if you really have to go. hold it tilll after mass. ANNOYING!

lets make mass all about US… screaming overgrown adult-children who can’t take ANY noise without going into a fit of rage over their right to have mass their way because it’s all about them.

Babies at mass are fine. people who have a problem with it need to work on themselves.

As one of God’s frozen people, I’m shocked that you could suggest such a thing. I say NO HUMAN BEINGS at Mass at all - only the ossified, sepulchral shades of humanity allowed.

Besides, once we denigrate children who will, despite all efforts, be annoying, loud, rude, etc., etc., we can consign them to oblivion and join ranks with the those who say a fetus is not human.

I really like the reference to the geezers who can’t move - let’s dispose of them, too. And the physically handicapped, sick, mentally impaired, etc., etc.

Gee we could construct our own little “third reich” by declaring as subhuman anyone who is annoying or disturbing. God knows God wouldn’t want to have anything to do with actual smelly, noisy, rude, inconvenient people. As I recall the Gospels He certainly preferred the higher classes, the wealthy and prominent.

Thank God for the pharmaceutical industry - and everyone needs to go take their meds now.

 

[Jennifer_J]

You are blessed to have that many children. Some of us could not. The years that you spend training your little ones is very rewarding. So what if you don’t sit up front? I’d give my right arm to have to stand in the back for the next twenty years if God had blessed me this way.
I know we are blessed, but my children’s education about the Mass is just as important. Sitting up front is as much for them as it is anything else. They behave BETTER up front where they can see.

Do you have a husband? Could he sit up front with the older ones?
Yes, I’m also blessed with a Catholic dh, we take turns going to the back as needed for fussy children. We sit together as a family, as we think that’s important. Every week during the school year (barring illness) I take them ALL by myself for the Friday School Mass. We still sit upfront, and there’s usually not a problem, if there were, we go out as needed.

Why disrupt the mass with the “as needed”? Stay in the back. It really is still the church.

Because my older children LEARN more by sitting up close so they can see more than the rump of the person in front of them. We don’t end up at the back of church every week, either, just sometimes. Also, the act of being taken out is part of the punishment, per se. They are carried and either held or put against a wall until they can return (for the toddler ages), babies are calmed and returned.

Maybe you should speak with someone about it.

You might be right, I should, but we never sit there, so it’s not really MY issue. Someone must find it useful, just not us. We don’t allow food, toys, drinks or the like at Mass. Our children are well behaved and the (unrelated)grandmas and grandpas LOVE seeing them at Mass. We sit in the same place every week. If we are distracting, then I suppose those that are bothered, would find a new location. I’ve not received a complaint yet.

God bless, Jennifer

 

[prv]

ALL Children belong in Mass. There should not even be a problem here. When does the OP suggest children go to Mass 6 months prior to their 1st Commuion?
There is a new family in our Parish who do not have a baby but a handicap teenager (I guess around 15) His mother and father are usually always there, (they are around late 50’s and early 60’s) and sometimes the grandma with her oxygen tank.
Someone might say that this family is a distraction, they are nice quiet folks who just moved here. Seeing them is a pleasant affirming of celebrating all life, not just the perfect. I actually enjoy the boy’s sweet humming, by no means does it take away from the “Beauty of the Mass”

Distraction???!!! Nonsense!! The disabled, as well, as the children, have a right to worship with the rest of the Holy Catholic Church of our Lord Jesus Christ. No one said you had to have perfect health in order to be part of the Holy Church. In fact, if we denied them their rights, will we not earn ourselves a sharp rebuke from the Master at the end of our days?

 

[netmilsmom]

You might be right, I should, but we never sit there, so it’s not really MY issue. Someone must find it useful, just not us. We don’t allow food, toys, drinks or the like at Mass. Our children are well behaved and the (unrelated)grandmas and grandpas LOVE seeing them at Mass. We sit in the same place every week. If we are distracting, then I suppose those that are bothered, would find a new location. I’ve not received a complaint yet.

So really, you are not the kind of parent the OP is bringing to light, are you?

 

[prv]

lets ban babies, children who make noise, old people who take too long walking to communion, people who’s hair is too big and block views, heck, let’s block tall people as they may detract from short people at mass. maybe we can weed out the people who can’t carry a note but try to sing anyway… and no bathroom breaks, even if you really have to go. hold it tilll after mass. ANNOYING!

lets make mass all about US… screaming overgrown adult-children who can’t take ANY noise without going into a fit of rage over their right to have mass their way because it’s all about them.

Babies at mass are fine. people who have a problem with it need to work on themselves.

Why don’t we ban the self-righteous from the Church? After, the Lord said He did come to save the hint,hint, sinners.

 

[prv]

I’m telling you some of us “adults” make more racket than all the screaming children in the world combined, if you know what I am saying.

 

[jmcrae]

Why aren’t children trained on “sit still” and “keep quiet” at home anymore?

Why do parents wait until they are right in the middle of the real life situation, before they even start to train their kids? It seems like a really high-stress method of training, to me.

Do they also drop their kids into the high-dive pool to teach them how to swim?

I expect kids to act up once in a while at Mass - that’s normal - but when hearing from parents, it sounds as though the only training the kids are getting is at the actual Mass itself - it doesn’t sound as though they are doing any practice drills at home, whatsoever.