Babies At Mass

[Tom317]

tadly,

Sometimes the Lord uses a soft apporach to get His point across to us, other times He uses a 2 X 4 because we humans are often blind. In this thread I have tried to use both, nothing works because people have no intention on changing. Many people on this thread, imo, are blind to what impact they have on parents in Mass and I have yet to see you reflect any concern for the long-term damage being done by devout Catholics in Churches across the country. People are being driven away by the self-righteous know-it-all attitude of some Uber-Catholics, and that is very hurtful to the Body of Christ.

Chew on that before replying, please.

 

[Tom317]

Teasing?
I’m sorry if I don’t see it that way.

I was teasing because you went all Ghandi on me. No problem here.

 

[Verita]

Tadly, you are an incredible person. I mean that literally, someone I cannot believe.

Tom317, thank you for defending those who are often unable to defend themselves. That is truly something Jesus would do.

 

[tadly]

tadly,

Sometimes the Lord uses a soft apporach to get His point across to us, other times He uses a 2 X 4 because we humans are often blind. In this thread I have tried to use both, nothing works because people have no intention on changing. Many people on this thread, imo, are blind to what impact they have on parents in Mass and I have yet to see you reflect any concern for the long-term damage being done by devout Catholics in Churches across the country. People are being driven away by the self-righteous know-it-all attitude of some Uber-Catholics, and that is very hurtful to the Body of Christ.

Chew on that before replying, please.

They need to be lovingly guided. Not admonished.
Perhaps the people you speak of just lost a loved one or found out they had cancer.
Shouldn’t all of us be given the shadow of doubt?

 

[Tom317]

They need to be lovingly guided. Not admonished.
Perhaps the people you speak of just lost a loved one or found out they had cancer.
Shouldn’t all of us be given the shadow of doubt?

Yes, very good point and one that I have been trying to make over this thread…I am very happy you agree.

 

[tadly]

Yes, very good point and one that I have been trying to make over this thread…I am very happy you agree.

So you’re saying that the person who is judgemental of a parent should be given the shadow of a doubt? I must have misread your posts, I’m truly sorry.

 

[tadly]

Tadly, you are an incredible person. I mean that literally, someone I cannot believe.

I had an enlightenment at one point.
I see Jesus in everyone. Sometimes it’s hard too.

That person challenging you to keep peace may well be the devil incarnate. The evil one is always working to make us sin. If we give into it, we lose.

And no one should be lost.

I must go but The Peace of Christ to all of you.
God bless you Tom and thank you for being a good dad.

 

[Tom317]

So you’re saying that the person who is judgemental of a parent should be given the shadow of a doubt? I must have misread your posts, I’m truly sorry.

I am saying that the parents in Mass who seem to not be doing their job correctly should be given the shadow of doubt because we have no way of knowing their circumstances. Love, compassion, and understanding first.

 

[marci]

I agree that lots of kids are most significant hope. I do not agree about the second part because Catholics who feel condemn will simply avoid going to Mass because they don’t want the condemning attitudes. We must keep in mind that the parents have brought their kids to Mass, and that is a victory for Christ and the world even if they let their kids mis-behave.

It is my belief that most people at mass do not say or do anything to parents to make them feel condemned, I’m sure it happens though. Also, it’s not just about parents demanding respect and reverence from their children in mass for the sake of the other parishoners, it should be first and formost about parents demanding respect and reverence for the Eucharist.

I said this once in another thread, I think it applicable here. I heard a man on EWTN once relating a story about how one Sunday a muslim friend accompanied him to mass. During the consecration the muslim friend asked him, “so you believe that that is the real body and blood of Jesus?” to which the catholic replied, “yes”. His friend then said, “If I believed that God was on the alter, I would crawl on my hands and knees before him.”

I give this story because I think that most of the posts about children’s behavior in mass are really about a general feeling of many catholics that there is a profound lack of reverence and respect by all, young and old before the Real Presence.

At least this is my opinion. There are many other things that bother me during mass. Teenagers on cell phones, imodest dress, talking and visiting when we should be meditating, but I guess all of that is for another post.

Peace

 

[Mummybee]

Awesome points, all of them! I will add one:

1. How about the adults who are sitting right behind families with small children and procede to smile and play with the small children, which just causes the children to be more excited? Are we to attack those adults because they enjoy kids and sort of lose themselves in the moment, even though they contributed to the children’s misbehaivor? Or, should we just happily acknowledge in our hearts that those adults love children?

Oh man, Tom, you said it!!! Great point!

They are sweet, nice people, I’m so glad they enjoy my child, but how can I control my kid if someone has fallen for his/her charms and now BOTH of them are the are the distraction? Picking up a dropped toy or binky is one thing, playing peek-a-boo is something else altogether. SOmetimes I wonder if I should just hand my kid off to them…?

These people can sometimes be lifesavers, too! Sometimes they end up helping to distract a child who is freaking, and helping to calm them down (this is the flip side of the situation). Strangers have helped keep my kids mesmerized during mass before…I’m not quite sure how to handle it and usually let it go. However, I don’t see anyone giving THEM filthy looks like they give the parents…

 

[Mummybee]

Awesome points, all of them! I will add one:

1. How about the adults who are sitting right behind families with small children and procede to smile and play with the small children, which just causes the children to be more excited? Are we to attack those adults because they enjoy kids and sort of lose themselves in the moment, even though they contributed to the children’s misbehaivor? Or, should we just happily acknowledge in our hearts that those adults love children?

Oh man, Tom, you said it!!! Great point!

They are sweet, nice people, I’m so glad they enjoy my child, but how can I control my kid if someone has fallen for his/her charms and now BOTH of them are the are the distraction? Picking up a dropped toy or binky is one thing, playing peek-a-boo is something else altogether. SOmetimes I wonder if I should just hand my kid off to them…?

These people can sometimes be lifesavers, too! Sometimes they end up helping to distract a child who is freaking, and helping to calm them down (this is the flip side of the situation). Strangers have helped keep my kids mesmerized during mass before…I’m not quite sure how to handle it and usually let it go. However, I don’t see anyone giving THEM filthy looks like they give the parents…

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

Tell me, what about the adults sitting behind my family at Mass when they talk to my kids or giggle at them or instigate bad behaivor in my young ones? Should I smile and pray for them, or should I condemn them in my heart? I say I should smile and pray for them because they clearly love children and are filled with joy with being near our family…yet those same people often cause my kids to act up and people across the aisle might think my wife and I are lousy parents.

Oh please Tom!! Give me a break! First you complain about how people are such meanies then you have a snit because people are actually making nice to your kids? You THINK they are trying to “instigate” bad behavior in your children…for what purpose? By smiling at you child…I would be the cause of them acting up? What would you rather a person do? Note to self: DO NOT SMILE AT THE LITTLE CHILD AHEAD OF ME WHO IS SMILING AT ME!!

:heart:Blyss

 

[Mummybee]

Here’s something that worked for me.
Every time a child cries during Mass, I pray, “Almighty God, please give the child a vocation to the priesthood or religious life.”
After that, you’ll start to view the children a little bit differently.

AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!

 

[Mummybee]

Oh please Tom!! Give me a break! First you complain about how people are such meanies then you have a snit because people are actually making nice to your kids? You THINK they are trying to “instigate” bad behavior in your children…for what purpose? By smiling at you child…I would be the cause of them acting up? What would you rather a person do? Note to self: DO NOT SMILE AT THE LITTLE CHILD AHEAD OF ME WHO IS SMILING AT ME!!

:heart:Blyss

Smiling is one thing, playing peekaboo is another. (Yes, I’ve seen it, it happened to me.)

I think you are twisting Tom’s point. He’s not saying don’t smile at my kid, he’s pointing out the legitimate question about whether or not others perceive those smiling people as a problem, or just the kids themselves? The point here is that we ALL have the capacity to be unknowingly, unwittingly distracting to our fellow worshippers. Concentrating the scrutiny on the parents of small, non-silent children is not fair.

 

[Mummybee]

Oh please Tom!! Give me a break! First you complain about how people are such meanies then you have a snit because people are actually making nice to your kids? You THINK they are trying to “instigate” bad behavior in your children…for what purpose? By smiling at you child…I would be the cause of them acting up? What would you rather a person do? Note to self: DO NOT SMILE AT THE LITTLE CHILD AHEAD OF ME WHO IS SMILING AT ME!!

:heart:Blyss

Smiling is one thing, playing peekaboo is another. (Yes, I’ve seen it, it happened to me.)

I think you are twisting Tom’s point. He’s not saying don’t smile at my kid, he’s pointing out the legitimate question about whether or not others perceive those smiling people as a problem, or just the kids themselves? The point here is that we ALL have the capacity to be unknowingly, unwittingly distracting to our fellow worshippers. Concentrating the scrutiny on the parents of small, non-silent children is not fair.

 

[tadly]

I am saying that the parents in Mass who seem to not be doing their job correctly should be given the shadow of doubt because we have no way of knowing their circumstances. Love, compassion, and understanding first.

Love, compassion and understanding for the person who is grumpy about the kids or just the parent? We have no way of knowing the grumpy person’s circumstances either, right?

Even here, maybe the most insulting person you don’t really know the circumstances, right? Do they get understanding?

Tom, don’t you see. It goes both ways. God gives us what we need, not what we want. Those who give love, get it. No matter how offensive the grumpy person is.

 

[Tom317]

Oh please Tom!! Give me a break! First you complain about how people are such meanies then you have a snit because people are actually making nice to your kids? You THINK they are trying to “instigate” bad behavior in your children…for what purpose? By smiling at you child…I would be the cause of them acting up? What would you rather a person do? Note to self: DO NOT SMILE AT THE LITTLE CHILD AHEAD OF ME WHO IS SMILING AT ME!!

:heart:Blyss

They do not just smile. They literally play with them and it happens to many people at every Mass. Many people actually love kids and get a kick out of them and those people can be a distraction when they giggle. laugh and talk to my kids. Sheeesh, I am not a liar, nor do I ten to exageration regarding episodes that happen in real life.

 

[Tom317]

Love, compassion and understanding for the person who is grumpy about the kids or just the parent? We have no way of knowing the grumpy person’s circumstances either, right?

Even here, maybe the most insulting person you don’t really know the circumstances, right? Do they get understanding?

Tom, don’t you see. It goes both ways. God gives us what we need, not what we want. Those who give love, get it. No matter how offensive the grumpy person is.

Yes! Finally you are getting the right picture! I am so happy!

It goes both ways, not just to the parents, not just to the grumpy person, I have literally never condemned a grump person at Mass and have never given them anything but a smile. Phewww, it feels great to know you are beginning to get the proper perspective on this issue, now if we can only convince the rest.

 

[Tom317]

Oh please Tom!! Give me a break! First you complain about how people are such meanies then you have a snit because people are actually making nice to your kids? You THINK they are trying to “instigate” bad behavior in your children…for what purpose? By smiling at you child…I would be the cause of them acting up? What would you rather a person do? Note to self: DO NOT SMILE AT THE LITTLE CHILD AHEAD OF ME WHO IS SMILING AT ME!!

:heart:Blyss

Please read post #244 and see I am not alone in this.

 

[tadly]

Yes! Finally you are getting the right picture! I am so happy!

It goes both ways, not just to the parents, not just to the grumpy person, I have literally never condemned a grump person at Mass and have never given them anything but a smile. Phewww, it feels great to know you are beginning to get the proper perspective on this issue, now if we can only convince the rest.

I would venture to say that none of these posters including the EDIT poster at the beginning, have never complained to a parent at Mass either none have said it so it must be assumed.
So why make assumptions that are judgemental toward them, such as the poster above who has run into messes by children?
It’s also unkind.

Everyone should look at the peace of the community, whether it inconveniences us or not. It’s great that you smile! That shows them that you are in control of the greater good.

The posters here deserve the same.