Babies At Mass

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Now sometimes I think there is nothing more beautiful than hearing a baby cry during mass. It my mind, it’s the joyous sounds of the gifts of life and certainly sounds better than alot of the overblown, egotistical musical services that are provided for entertainment and not worship.

However past a certain age, I think there’s a point where the parents need to get their kids under control and start teaching them to respect the church or else take them to the cry room.
 
Parents with babies should sit in the back. It also drives me crazy to see them going up and down, in and out, one person I know suggests leaving them at home until they are a toddler, but they are still disruptive, you may indeed consider going to Mass with the Monks. God Bless.
 
CatholicCajun said:
Parents with babies should sit in the back. It also drives me crazy to see them going up and down, in and out, one person I know suggests leaving them at home until they are a toddler, but they are still disruptive, you may indeed consider going to Mass with the Monks. God Bless.
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Parents with babies often have other children. We always attend as a family. We usually sit in front so that the older children can see better. Parent’s need to be responsible for their baby’s/children’s behavior but those around families need to cut the families some slack. At least they are attending Mass and receiving the graces available there.

Jennifer
 
gradstud35 said:
However past a certain age, I think there’s a point where the parents need to get their kids under control and start teaching them to respect the church or else take them to the cry room.
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I got to smile at this one. I always hated taking my kids to the crying room. Some parents treat it like a picnic area. :eek: Kids running all over the place, with the lights switches being turned on and off. Little ones banging on the glass with their cars. You could always count on the picnic lady to bring (apple slices, cookies, cheerios) to mass. What a party!
 
St_Gabriel said:
I got to smile at this one. I always hated taking my kids to the crying room. Some parents treat it like a picnic area. :eek: Kids running all over the place, with the lights switches being turned on and off. Little ones banging on the glass with their cars. You could always count on the picnic lady to bring (apple slices, cookies, cheerios) to mass. What a party!
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Yikes. :eek:

I think churches need to be way more strict about the “no food at Mass” rule - at some point, they are going to have to train their children to fast for one hour before Mass anyway, and it will be easier to do that, if they haven’t previously trained their children to snack their way through Mass - “train up the child in the way that he should go, and he will not depart from it when he is old” - that’s somewhere in the Book of Proverbs, and it’s true - if you teach the child the right way to behave at an early age, it won’t come as a surprise to him when he is older and supposed to know better.
 
and then we have the situations where young families wind up feeling to uncomfortable to come back to MASS at a particular parish… and we end up with a parish that has, quite literally, no children or young families as they have all left.

my old supervisor from my old job was one of those families, who switched parishes because of that.

I went to the Easter Vigil, was recieved into the Church at that parish simply because that priest has been guiding me along my journey for two years… but I’ve long been going to a different parish for the Saturday Evening MASS, because my old parish was simply to stiff and cold and formal.

and the parish I go to now is warm and welcoming and I felt much more comfortable attending MASS there because even though there’s occasional distractions, there’s actually much less distraction because I am not always worried about how other people are viewing the way I worship…

I mean, it’s frightening enough being a new Catholic (I wouldn’t do that one blessing before the Gospel is read for ages because I was terrified of getting it wrong and being noticed)… without constantly worrying about having someone tear a strip out of you for making a simple mistake or because they don’t happen to like the clothes you wear.

the parish I’m at now, I’m constantly being encouraged and people are so warm that I really did feel what they meant when we talked about being part of a new family at our last RCIA session.

I personally would rather be at the parish where children are welcomed and people aren’t always judging other people’s mistakes or idiosyncracies (sp?), because it’s a parish like that that (from what I’ve seen this past year, at any rate) grows and grows and ends up fostering all sorts of vocations…

whereas the parish that frightened away all (and I mean all, I don’t think I ever saw one child there more than maybe once) of their young families and myself as well… I am deeply saddened to say that when I walk by that building now, it is just a building and no longer a parish… the population was small and getting smaller, all aging… and the parish ended up being closed in the parish reorganization…

just a thought. :twocents:

Esther Rose
 
We actually have the first six rows of the church, on both sides, roped off for “families with small children”. And, actually, the children are very well behaved. But I might think that because I sit in the front row with my daughter and don’t really see the other kids.
 
I don’t understand why parents simply won’t take an unruly child, or a screaming baby, outside. When the child stops misbehaving, or the baby stops screaming you come back in. What is so terrible about this? I have four ages 5 to 9, behavior is not an issue with them anymore, but if they became inconsolable as babies I simply went outside until they quieted down, sometimes that alone would do the trick. I think that this issue simply mirrors our modern culture as a whole, in which many parents no longer teach their children respect for others.

Children are very capable of behaving themsleves, whether at a restaurant, during mass, at a store, etc., I think that modern parents have lowered their expectations for their children, except of course when it comes to sports, popularity, and material gain;)
 
PatienceAndLove said:
We actually have the first six rows of the church, on both sides, roped off for “families with small children”. And, actually, the children are very well behaved. But I might think that because I sit in the front row with my daughter and don’t really see the other kids.
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Being right up front is very good for kids, since it allows them to be able to see what’s going on, and participate more effectively.

I feel sorry for kids who get stuck in the back with nothing but furniture and legs to look at - it’s little wonder they get bored and cranky, I think.
 
jmcrae said:
Being right up front is very good for kids, since it allows them to be able to see what’s going on, and participate more effectively.

I feel sorry for kids who get stuck in the back with nothing but furniture and legs to look at - it’s little wonder they get bored and cranky, I think.
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I’ve always wondered that as well.
I remember reading in Raising Catholic Children, Mary Ann speaks of the extreme change in children when families move right up front (maybe cause we were afraid Father would see us acting up!)
My mother got my daughter the Quiet Tim Church KIt, and it has done wonders!
I think, depending on the age of the child(ren), it may be time to introduce Little Acts of Grace or The Weight of the Mass (there is also a free study guide on CHCweb), to reinforce the importance and holiness of Mass.
I believe that The King of the Golden City may be helpful (depending on the age) and that the Devotional Stores for Little Folks 1 & 2 have stories regarding mass attendance.
Guiding Your Catholic Preschooler has some practical advice for children at Mass, and A Year with God gives some wonderful ideas for making the faith come alive at home through the year.
And while not a parenting guide, per say, Raising Catholic Children has anecdotes that all parents can relate to, and gives practical advice regarding child rearing, family worship and Mass attendance.

God Bless, all!
 
my own family can be a nuisance during mass but we try to stay somewhat toward the back and i try to help by taking them to the cry room when i can see that the disturbances are more ongoing than just occasional little noises or wiggliness’. but it seems like some families feel that they are missing out by going to the cry room. it’s kind of a sacrifice so that others can experience mass w/out interruption. it’s also an exercise in patience for everyone involved. as long as you go to communion and/or confession, i don’t see the problem with spending time in there.

once, our priest actually had to stand up there and suggest during the sermon that people take their children to the cry room rather than have them disturbing others during mass. he didn’t single anyone out, and it was only because he had been receiving complaints. not that we don’t appreciate the children being there, but that is what the cry rooms are for. so that issues like these don’t have to come up. maybe you could suggest to the priest at that parish that he remind people to be thoughtful of others and to take their children there when necessary?
 
In theory, the “cry rooms” are for faithful moms or dads to take very little children if they are crying or too young to control their chattiness.

I have almost never seen a cry room used in that way unless it was simply empty or I was the only one there.

I would definitely hesitate to take a toddler to a “cry room” that was being used by families as a play room for all of their children. Indeed, what would my child learn from that experience.

I sit in the front row with Dh and our four children including a one year old. I often will take the baby to the back during either the Gospel/homily or the Lit of the Eucharist to nurse and then bring her back up to the front.

If my boys are ever unruly and I fail to notice or am unable to extend the “long arm of the law” (since I am also in the choir), other parishioners in the second row are both willing and able to give them the “look”. :tsktsk:

I much prefer the mentality of bringing your children even as newborns. They are part of the body of Christ. “Let the children come to Me and do not hinder them…”
 
dranzal said:
In theory, the “cry rooms” are for faithful moms or dads to take very little children if they are crying or too young to control their chattiness.

I have almost never seen a cry room used in that way unless it was simply empty or I was the only one there.

I would definitely hesitate to take a toddler to a “cry room” that was being used by families as a play room for all of their children. Indeed, what would my child learn from that experience.

I sit in the front row with Dh and our four children including a one year old. I often will take the baby to the back during either the Gospel/homily or the Lit of the Eucharist to nurse and then bring her back up to the front.

If my boys are ever unruly and I fail to notice or am unable to extend the “long arm of the law” (since I am also in the choir), other parishioners in the second row are both willing and able to give them the “look”. :tsktsk:

I much prefer the mentality of bringing your children even as newborns. They are part of the body of Christ. “Let the children come to Me and do not hinder them…”
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Our priest always says, “A childless church is a sign of a dying church!” I have to agree with him.

The best thing that ever happened to me, was when an older lady sitting in the row in front of me, came up to my son after mass and said, “You had better listen to your mother!” Well, he behaved better next time, because he learned first hand how much he was disturbing others. I thanked the lady.
 
Sometimes my sarcastic side wonders whether the cry room in the back is where to go when you can’t take the crying children in the church. But, there are probably more back there.

Loud shrieking noises shoot up my spine. It’s quite difficult not think uncharitable things, but it’s just something to practice, I suppose.
 
JamesAnthony said:
Okay… my intention is not to offend. Perhaps I’m just venting?
Today I attended a Tridentine Mass in Central Florida. (I prefer it to the Novus Ordo.) I’ve attended it on numerous occasions.
As expected, Mom and Dad and their four little children berthed in the second row, where everyone can see (and hear) them. (They have been at every one of these Masses that I go to, perhaps once every couple of months.) Dad read the Epistle, so apparently he has some intimate connection with this service.
As expected, the youngest child whined, cried, screamed, and babbled during the ENTIRE hour-- no exaggeration. The requisite shushing and hushing and bringing-to-the-back was performed, to no avail; and every time that little boy opened his mouth, my shoulders tensed. The entire second row was like a circus.
All I ask for is a beautiful Mass without distractions… I’d LOVE to be able to concentrate fully on the Consecration without experiencing evil thoughts towards children… ! It hasn’t happened in YEARS. I’m tempted to start attending Masses at the retreat center up the road-- just me and the monks.
Thoughts? Similar experiences? Should I grin and bear it? Should babies be barred from the Tridentine Mass? Should I worship with the monks? Should this family sit in the back? I would DEARLY love to devote my mind entirely to a Mass and experience it fully.
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Okay, some people are being a little mean I think. I know what you mean though. I went to a tridentine mass, and my husband and I couldn’t hear a thing because we sat in the back with the babbling children. Let me offer you some advice with a story 🙂

A while back I was facing a lot of trials in my life, and it was making me rather grumpy. I was at mass before it started praying that God would heal me and my life, and make me a better person. During this time there was an infant crying and fussing, and the parents were trying to silence her/him (don’t know the gender) and I found myself getting frustrated about this crying child and wished they would leave so I could pray to God. Then I realized that…it’s new life. That child is a miracle, and in reality there is nothing more beautiful than a babbling child. That’s the noise of new life, and a growing church! So what I had to do was change my perspective. Instead of letting that noise disrupt me, I let it remind me of the mircales of God, and to praise him for new life!

All we have to do is try to look at things as God does, through love and understanding. It’s hard, but I know I need to 🙂
 
I will be bring my 1yo to mass with me other - and the cry room is totally out for us as we both have severe food allergies.

I’ve had to leave mass before because someone brought their child something containing peanuts to eat during mass.
 
Sometimes parents are unable to have a babysitter; other times reasons of family necessitate bringing the children to Mass.

We should try to be more tolerant and endure. I would guess the parents are not comfortable with some of the outcries from the kids. But we are all family while in His House.
 
Someone mentioned the adults who are a pain…I couldn’t agree more. Some use Mass as a social hour. I go to church a bit early to get in some extra prayers. Most every time I do, there are ADULTS all over the place whispering and laughing, talking on cell phones and generally disrupting the solitude I seek.( as I am sure do others!) I can understand the kids. I am having trouble understanding the adults and their lack of respect.
Kathy
 
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