Baby naming....not what you think

[Mommyof5]

I’ve been struggling with this for awhile and for some reason, feel called to ask this question. My mother had four miscarriages, I’ve had one miscarriage and an infant death, my sister-in-law had 2 miscarriages. My parents gave names to each and every one of their four miscarriages (actually…3 miscarriages and one still birth…let me be clear on that…it irritates me when people call stillbirths miscarriages or infants who die shortly after birth as a miscarriage…that happened to me and I’m still struggling to forgive the person about it). I always accepted it and didn’t question that (although I did find it odd). My husband thought it was crazy (at the time) and we didn’t give a name to the baby we lost at 7 1/2 weeks in 2004.

Recently, I heard Tim Staples talking about the miscarriages he and his wife suffered…they gave names to those babies. I just read (today) in Rome Sweet Home by Scott & Kimberly Hahn that they named their babies lost to miscarriages. Suddenly, what my Protestant parents did wasn’t so crazy and my husband didn’t think it was nuts either. I can’t remember the reasoning that Mr. Staples gave but I do remember my reaction as one of amazement and appreciation for those who recognize the humanity of our babies lost from the very beginning.

A few months ago, another friend asked me about a “baby-naming ceremony” she’d heard about at another Catholic church (she also lost a child too early). She asked if I’d be interested in something like that but neither one of us knew where to start to get something like that going in our parish. I honestly forgot about it with the business of life but it has recently come back into focus for me after hearing Tim Staples say something and reading it today in the words of Kimberly Hahn.

OK…finally…my question: does anyone have any information on how to set up one of these kinds of prayer services or ceremonies? I would love to do something like this in our parish for those who are willing and feel that they need to give their child(ren) more of an identity. I know that our children are with Christ and he knows everything about their identities…but it just made sense to me, especially after remembering that we were asked to give an aborted child a name in our “adoption” prayer that we said for all those children who die due to abortion. Any thoughts?

 

[Mommyof5]

bump

 

[Lizziebel]

What a wonderful idea to have a naming ceremony for those precious babies! Maybe your parish priest knows of the ceremony and can help you plan it, or he could contact the priest at the parish your friend heard about to find out more about the ceremony.

 

[dkoinzan]

That is a neat idea. My Mom had two miscarriages and at the time she didn’t name them. She later named them when my daughter died at 31 weeks after conception. I never imagined that someone wouldn’t name their child. My daughter’s name is Theresa Little Flower after St. Theresa. Just six months later I gave birth to our son Joseph Marie. He was born dead 14 weeks after conception. We always include them in family prayer time and we ask them to continue to pray for us after we have finished. My older son was very heart broken when his only brother pasted away. We made him a framed memorial to hang on his wall in honor of his brother. We named him after St. Joseph so we used a St. Joseph prayer card and wrote a few lines about the baby. It is his most prized keepsake.

I wander if project Rachel would have something. They are set up for aborted babies, but maybe they have a format that would work for all preborn children.

 

[jwatza]

our parish has a memorial in the parish cemetery for miscarried children–the remains can be buried in a columbarium and for those who don’t have remains, but still want to honor their child–they can have their names engraved on the granite plaques. We have 1 miscarried child and his name is honored on the wall.

I don’t know of any baby naming ceremony, but we felt it important to name our baby so that he is a real part of our family. When we pray for God to bless everyone in our family, my boys always add–and God bless baby Mark. He is their sibling in heaven who they can ask to intercede for them.

 

[LindaS]

I wander if project Rachel would have something. They are set up for aborted babies, but maybe they have a format that would work for all preborn children.

Yes, part of the weekend is a naming ceremony. And Project Rachel retreats are also for women who have miscarried. One of my clients made the retreat, and 3 of the women had miscarried.
Peace,
Linda