Baby Shower

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Can a good Catholic buy a gift and attend a baby shower for an unwed mother-to-be?
 
Based on the information you gave, I say:
Why not?
The mother chose life for her unborn baby, didn’t she?
The baby is an innocent life; the baby is not responsible for the circumstances of his/her conception. And nobody knows exactly what went on or what mitigating circumstances there might have been, or even if this was a deliberate choice, what the state of the mother’s soul is (between her and God). God forgives, doesn’t He? And He told us not to judge (in this sort of circumstance), the state of another person’s soul.

I would attend, with a gift for the baby, and I would let the mother know that I would be there for her as a fellow Catholic, just as I would for any other Catholic mother (or any mother, period!)
 
Thanks for the post. I’ve been uncomfortable about this very situation several times in the past few years. I didn’t go to the showers b/c it was either a person I barely knew, or I had work and other obligations on shower day. I usually sent a card and small gift b/c like the other posters said, it’s not the baby’s “fault” and some of these babies had some real need. It is hard though b/c you sort of don’t want to celebrate the situation or imply that you approve of or encourage the actions of the parents. I look forward to hearig from other posters.
 
Yes! Thank goodness she is having the baby, let her know she and the baby have your love and friendship.
 
What about “really sticky” situations. I was invited to a shower for a baby being born to a lesbian mother who got pregnant by taking home a guy from the bar who she didn’t even know. I really do feel for that child, but by celebrating with the mother, am I turning a “blind eye” to her immorality? Obviously, what the mother did was out of order, but to me it is a struggle to deal with this. I really was invited to this shower, and others not too unlike them.
 
If it was an unplanned pregnancy, I think you can attend the shower and support the mother through giving her much-needed baby supplies without condoning the behavior that led to the situation.

I think that I would not go if the mother had intentionally gotten pregnant, like a Jodie Foster situation or something. That would be entirely different.

We have a “baby shower” for unwed mothers every year at our church through the Gabriel Project. There is nothing wrong with giving support and being charitable to those in this stressful situation.
 
Maybe it’s how we view a baby shower…I always thought of it as a celebration. And in that vein, what is there to celebrate when an unwed mother brings a child into the world without an intact family? Why should she have the ‘perks’ of those who actually try to live righteously?

The child doesn’t care about the party…so I’m in favor of helping the mom out, but not with a celebration.

I vote no for attending the shower.
 
My future Mother-in-law was in the same situation when her daughter got pregnant (by accident of course). She almost didn’t go because she didn’t “support it” but went anyway because she thought of her grandchild and thought about how she wouldn’t have the heart to tell her that she didn’t go to her mommy’s baby shower because she wasn’t happy about her coming along. She went, and did not regret it.
 
I’m an unwed mother. I had a very difficult pregnancy and was out of work from 4 and 1/2 months of pregnancy on. If no one had come to my shower, I’d have had nothing for my son.
 
Not at all. That precious baby needs things. Although his/her mother is unwed she is doing the right thing by keeping her child and not getting an abortion. In my Parish we have a “Baby Shower” for the unwed mother’s. It’s called Birthright. Also monthly for our food drive for the panrty many people provide diapers, formula, bottles, clothes, socks and even a cute toy for these little darlings. By all means go to the shower and give the mother all the love and support you can.It’s not a choice…It’s a Child:love:
 
Oh, I would definately go to the shower. Like everyone said, it isn’t the baby’s fault that the parents made a mistake. Plus, the woman should be applauded for having her baby instead of having an abortion. Hooray for her!

Karen
 
cathyt. It is hard though b/c you sort of don’t want to celebrate the situation or imply that you approve of or encourage the actions of the parents. I look forward to hearig from other posters. [/QUOTE said:
If we discourage the actions of the parents who choose life for their babies instead of aborting them, that sends a message that hiding the whole problem by aborting the child is the right thing to do.
We need to celebrate the life of the child, no matter whether it came into being through sexual misconduct, rape or in vitro fertilization. I think we can make it clear what we’re celebrating and what we’re not. You could even mention to the mother, “Your circumstances aren’t perfect, but I’m happy that you’re having this child.”
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Viki59:
If we discourage the actions of the parents who choose life for their babies instead of aborting them, that sends a message that hiding the whole problem by aborting the child is the right thing to do.
We need to celebrate the life of the child, no matter whether it came into being through sexual misconduct, rape or in vitro fertilization. I think we can make it clear what we’re celebrating and what we’re not. You could even mention to the mother, “Your circumstances aren’t perfect, but I’m happy that you’re having this child.”
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👍 :clapping:
 
A shower does not celebrate the life of the child, in my opinion. It’s just a party for the unwed mother. And I don’t think we need to give parties for people when they make mistakes.

Obviously, the mother should not have an abortion…does that mean we need to give her a party because of that? Let’s give me a party because I didn’t murder someone today. It doesn’t make sense to me.

I am in favor of helping the unwed mom. I am just not in favor of the celebration part. I think we need to remember that unwed parenthood is NOT a good situation and it shouldn’t be treated as such.
 
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Catholic:
Can a good Catholic buy a gift and attend a baby shower for an unwed mother-to-be?
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A “good Catholic” should show the love of Christ in ALL things. I think too that the mother should be commended for choosing life. So many of us yell “no abortion” (of which I am one!) yet condemn those who choos life instead. What would Jesus do? As a community we should all do all we can to show unwed mothers and their children the true love of God.

Karen Anne
 
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cathyt:
What about “really sticky” situations. I was invited to a shower for a baby being born to a lesbian mother who got pregnant by taking home a guy from the bar who she didn’t even know. I really do feel for that child, but by celebrating with the mother, am I turning a “blind eye” to her immorality? Obviously, what the mother did was out of order, but to me it is a struggle to deal with this. I really was invited to this shower, and others not too unlike them.
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You are not turning a “blind eye” to her immorality. First of all - there is a child involved who had no say in the matter and should not be punished. Second of all, how in the world is this woman going to ever know the love of God and salvation through Jesus and His church if nobody wants to get close enough to share? If I were in her situation (and I really am just guessing here) and all my so-called Christian friends ran out on me, then why on earth would I want anything to do with what they represent? Jesus did not shy away from society’s outcasts and neither should we. There is a difference between supporting a fellow human being and showing the love of Christ and saying you agree with someone’s choices.

Karen Anne
 
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newf:
A shower does not celebrate the life of the child, in my opinion. It’s just a party for the unwed mother. And I don’t think we need to give parties for people when they make mistakes.

Obviously, the mother should not have an abortion…does that mean we need to give her a party because of that? Let’s give me a party because I didn’t murder someone today. It doesn’t make sense to me.

I am in favor of helping the unwed mom. I am just not in favor of the celebration part. I think we need to remember that unwed parenthood is NOT a good situation and it shouldn’t be treated as such.
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What about the party for the prodigal son? He messed up pretty badly and his father threw a bash for him.
 
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newf:
A shower does not celebrate the life of the child, in my opinion. It’s just a party for the unwed mother. And I don’t think we need to give parties for people when they make mistakes.
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You’re joking right??

What gifts are given at a baby shower? Stuff to care for the baby, that what.

Please explain to me exactly why this baby is less deserving of these gifts that the child of a married couple?
 
NO, I am NOT joking. Sheesh. This is MY opinion, okay?

You don’t have to like it or agree with it.

I said I object to the party, not the helping of the mom. I never said the child is less deserving of gifts…do you have a problem reading posts, Brendan??

I don’t think the prodigal son can be compared to the unwed mother and dad. The prodigal son did not bring an innocent child into the world with his sin.

I think we make a mistake to treat this unwed situation as if nothing is wrong. There is a LOT wrong here. And having a party seems to give the impression all is well.
 
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