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rayne89
Guest
How do you feel about the family of a unmarried pregnant teen giving their daughter/neice a baby shower?
Would you attend such a baby shower?
Would you attend such a baby shower?
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Karin
Guest
well seeing as the baby will need things once it is born I think it is a nice thought to throw a baby shower for this person…it is not about her but about her baby…just my 2cents
yes as long as none of the stupid shower games where being played
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leonie
Guest
no, I wouldn’t go. But, I’d visit with a meal and a present after the birth.
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mosher
Guest
There should not be a formal celebration of that sort. It attempts to make the situation tolerable in some way. Rather, family could provide things for the baby in a more subtle reason. We should not celebrate scandal.
Such forms of public joy and celebration should be left to those who have persevered in virtue and not those who have not. While some would make claim that a Baby Shower is for the baby it is not quite true. The gifts are for the baby but the party is for the mother. We should make such distinctions in our culture to help discourage in all ways immoral behavior.
Such forms of public joy and celebration should be left to those who have persevered in virtue and not those who have not. While some would make claim that a Baby Shower is for the baby it is not quite true. The gifts are for the baby but the party is for the mother. We should make such distinctions in our culture to help discourage in all ways immoral behavior.
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deb1
Guest
I would attend and bring gifts specifically for the baby. I would also, if I felt comfortable doing so, reach out to this young woman. An older, Christian woman reaching out to me, when I was a troubled teenager helped me greatly.
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thechrismyster
Guest
i’d get a gift and give her as much help as she needed… and i’d go to the shower…
i think Christ would too.
i think Christ would too.
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YinYangMom
Guest
Remember that the fear of many young pregnant teens of the rejection, abandonment and inability to provide for this life is what leads them to consider, if not go through with, an abortion.
I would, and have, certainly attended baby showers for these young women who had the courage and conviction to carry this child to term.
I have a harder time attending baby showers for the 3rd and 4th children of an unmarried woman. I usually send a gift card to those, if it’s family, but don’t attend. I do not participate in co-workers’ showers like that. That’s probably not very charitable on my part.
I would, and have, certainly attended baby showers for these young women who had the courage and conviction to carry this child to term.
I have a harder time attending baby showers for the 3rd and 4th children of an unmarried woman. I usually send a gift card to those, if it’s family, but don’t attend. I do not participate in co-workers’ showers like that. That’s probably not very charitable on my part.
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leonie
Guest
Wow. I’m surprised that so many people would go. I agree with mosher. Take the girl out to lunch. Take her presents privately. But, a shower is inappropriate.
By the way, will there be teen friends there, cousins, sisters? I think they would see the party as implicit approval. I’m pretty sure I would have at that age.
By the way, will there be teen friends there, cousins, sisters? I think they would see the party as implicit approval. I’m pretty sure I would have at that age.
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guardian1
Guest
if she’s repented of her sin, i don’t see what the problem is. doesn’t God forgive us when we sin? doesn’t God provide us with what we need? we should do the same for others, not unless of course you would like to be the first to start throwing rocks (no sarcasm implied)
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johnnykins
Guest
Personally I think she should be stoned. And while we’re at it, let’s give the daddy a knowing wink and nod - what a guy!!
OF COURSE we should go!!! I do believe the Lord said something at a stoning about throwing the first stone. If you are serious about stopping abortion - you better be serious about dealing with the stigma and cost of pregnancy as well as rearing a child.
It’s not approval of fornication or adultery to give a shower - it is a celebration of life, providing need supplies and demonstrating that we need to support these young girls. Honestly, talks on morality can be taken care of otherwise.
OF COURSE we should go!!! I do believe the Lord said something at a stoning about throwing the first stone. If you are serious about stopping abortion - you better be serious about dealing with the stigma and cost of pregnancy as well as rearing a child.
It’s not approval of fornication or adultery to give a shower - it is a celebration of life, providing need supplies and demonstrating that we need to support these young girls. Honestly, talks on morality can be taken care of otherwise.
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rayne89
Guest
This is my best friend’s daughter and ofcourse I will go. But one of her family members chastised my friend for even considering it. She said she was rewarding her for getting pregnant.Two of my friend’s sisters are giving the shower.
Even though my friend was hurt deeply by this person’s response which was not done very charitably this person asserts that it is her right to voice her opinion on the matter. I’m very close to the situation so it’s not easy for me to keep my perspective. I love this teenager -who is a very good girl who made a mistake. She is depressed and broken and her mom is trying to show her that her family still loves and supports her.
My bestfriend is going through a very difficult time already dealing with this and I’m so angry at this particular person for making things more difficult instead of supporting her.
Even though my friend was hurt deeply by this person’s response which was not done very charitably this person asserts that it is her right to voice her opinion on the matter. I’m very close to the situation so it’s not easy for me to keep my perspective. I love this teenager -who is a very good girl who made a mistake. She is depressed and broken and her mom is trying to show her that her family still loves and supports her.
My bestfriend is going through a very difficult time already dealing with this and I’m so angry at this particular person for making things more difficult instead of supporting her.
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leonie
Guest
Well I still am against it. I think it is scandelous.
I’m all for giving lots and lots of private support and personal attention. But, I think showers for unwed mothers sends a message that it’s okay. Also, I think it sets the young mom on a definitive course of keeping the baby when she should be considering adoption.
Are any of her teenage friends attending the shower? And young cousins? Maybe your friend’s “rebuker” was concerned for other young girls who might be influenced by a celebration?
And yikes, people, not giving a baby shower for an unwed mother is not the same as shunning or stoning her.
I wouldn’t say anything though to a family that is going through such a difficult crisis. I would just send regrets.
I’m all for giving lots and lots of private support and personal attention. But, I think showers for unwed mothers sends a message that it’s okay. Also, I think it sets the young mom on a definitive course of keeping the baby when she should be considering adoption.
Are any of her teenage friends attending the shower? And young cousins? Maybe your friend’s “rebuker” was concerned for other young girls who might be influenced by a celebration?
And yikes, people, not giving a baby shower for an unwed mother is not the same as shunning or stoning her.
I wouldn’t say anything though to a family that is going through such a difficult crisis. I would just send regrets.
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thechrismyster
Guest
:bigyikes:
sometimes the level of empathy on this Catholic board AMAZES even me.
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leonie
Guest
After seeing my poor nephew reared by my sister who had him as a teenager–I’m very compassionate towards kids that aren’t reared in a two parent home. I trully hope that all unwed teen mothers choose adoption. really.
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Syele
Guest
All unwed mothers are not equal.
After seeing my poor nephew reared by my sister who had him as a teenager–I’m very compassionate towards kids that aren’t reared in a two parent home. I trully hope that all unwed teen mothers choose adoption. really.
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Magicsilence
Guest
Are you sure you don’t mean ‘lack of’
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leonie
Guest
Wow. I’m blown away.
I can’t believe thinking parties shouldn’t be given for unwed mothers is considered unempathetic.
The only thing I can think is that you don’t have unwed mothers in your family. I do. It’s so hard to watch these kids grow up in this situation. In fact, I have a three nephews and two nieces growing up in very unstable situations between my sister and my brother.
I never said don’t support her. I said do it privately. I also said spend a lot of time with her. I bet she’d get more out of several lunches out and even a shopping trip than a baby shower that might influence another girl.
Okay. I’m done.
I can’t believe thinking parties shouldn’t be given for unwed mothers is considered unempathetic.
The only thing I can think is that you don’t have unwed mothers in your family. I do. It’s so hard to watch these kids grow up in this situation. In fact, I have a three nephews and two nieces growing up in very unstable situations between my sister and my brother.
I never said don’t support her. I said do it privately. I also said spend a lot of time with her. I bet she’d get more out of several lunches out and even a shopping trip than a baby shower that might influence another girl.
Okay. I’m done.
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thechrismyster
Guest
lets make gross blanket statements based on personal first hand observations of one family with no thought as to how each pregnant girls personal situation may differ from our own small experience…
After seeing my poor nephew reared by my sister who had him as a teenager–I’m very compassionate towards kids that aren’t reared in a two parent home. I trully hope that all unwed teen mothers choose adoption. really.
i understand.
i’m very compassionate toward people who assume a family is intrinsically better for a child simply because there are two parents. they’re wrong. but i’m compassionate.
So if my wife gets pregnant again and I die the day after conception, that kid would be better off in an adoptive parents home than with my wife? and how is that different than your unwed mother scenario?
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crohnie4life
Guest
A friend of mine and I were discussing baby showers for unwed mothers (so I showed her these posts) and she asked this question.
What about bridal showers for those who are cohabitating and have decided to get married? When I assisted at PreCana there were numerous couples who were cohabitating (the priest knew about it and encouraged them to live apart until the wedding day) and it was obvious that most of them were just going through the motions & didn’t want to be there.
why is it ok to go to attend something like that when they are mocking the sacrament by “playing house” and causing scandal but then decide to do the right thing but still live together and not apart until the wedding. Why does the church consider them to not live in sin if they have chosen matrimony? any insight would be appreciated.
What about bridal showers for those who are cohabitating and have decided to get married? When I assisted at PreCana there were numerous couples who were cohabitating (the priest knew about it and encouraged them to live apart until the wedding day) and it was obvious that most of them were just going through the motions & didn’t want to be there.
why is it ok to go to attend something like that when they are mocking the sacrament by “playing house” and causing scandal but then decide to do the right thing but still live together and not apart until the wedding. Why does the church consider them to not live in sin if they have chosen matrimony? any insight would be appreciated.
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leonie
Guest
First of all, I could throw lots of stats out there, but I bet it would not convince you. If I get a chance I’ll hunt some up.
Your wife would have a difficult road just as I would in the same situation. She would still have the sacramental graces from her marital sacrament to draw from. And, I’m assuming that she is not a teenager.
I’m feeling a little attacked just for expressing my opinion. I opened up about my family because I was accused of being unempathetic.
I said I was done, didn’t I. sorry
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