Baby Sponsor Drama - Prayer Request/Advice Solicitation

[MDomashinski]

I am due in 2 weeks from today with our 2nd little blessing from above. :clapping: I am a re-converted cradle Catholic whose immediate family has pretty much left the Church. My DH’s older brother and SIL are still practicing and are the Sponsors (Godparents) to our 2 yr old Daughter. Traditionally, aren’t family (aunts, uncles and cousins) the G-Parents to newly baptized infants? We’ve asked a couple of my DH’s cousins to be sponsors to this one. 1 cousin, lives relatively closely, is only 10 years older than us and we see somewhat regularly (2-3 times/year). The other is considerably older, lives further away and has reservations about being this baby’s godfather. The short of it is, he (I think) is looking for a way out of it. He says he takes this as a great responsibility (it is) and that he doesn’t want it to be just honorific (it isn’t to us) and b/c of his age and our distance and therefore lack of seeing him, he feels that he wouldn’t be a good choice. That and he has an anniversary party for a friend on the date that we’d hope to baptize the baby. I reassured him that I could understand and respect his reservations and we would like to have sponsors for our children who are more “practical” (i.e. my Brother and Sister - pray for their conversion, or even my parents - pray for them too). I also told him of our dilemma, that there are no “practical” choices left w/i our family and that his spiritual guidance is in many ways more practical than choosing a sponsor who won’t take the responsibility for what it is. I also told him that I have faith that God has in mind a sponsor for this baby and we have the lovely task of trying to discern who that sponsor is, be it this elder cousin or someone else. I told him that I respect his decision as to whether or not he discerns God is asking him to be the Godfather and reassured him that we have time. I’m thinking I need to make an appointment with our Pastor or Associate Pastor. I’m offering up many rosaries and penances for this. Please pray for us. I’d hate this search for sponsors be a determining factor in our openness to future new lives in our marriage. Thanks for your responses and prayers in advance, your Sister in Christ, MDomashinski

 

[Claire_from_DE]

If the problem is that he can’t be present at the baptism, I believe he can still be the godparent but someone else can stand in for him (a proxy). The priest would be able to tell you how to go about this.

You wrote: ’ Traditionally, aren’t family (aunts, uncles and cousins) the G-Parents to newly baptized infants?’ This may be true in some cultures but it isn’t at all necessary. The sponsor should be a practicing Catholic who will be interested and hopefully involved in the Catholic formation of the child. At least he should be willing to pray for the child regularly. A friend would be just fine.

And why on earth would this thought even enter your mind: ‘I’d hate this search for sponsors be a determining factor in our openness to future new lives in our marriage.’ That idea is just bizarre! Find two good Catholics (like the godparents to your older child) and they can be the sponsors for all the future children that God blesses you with.

As the parents, you are the ones responsible for the Catholic upbringing of your children. A baptismal sponsor doesn’t have primary responsibility. And the wonderful relative can be an important part of your child’s life even if he’s not the official godparent. This should be a happy time for you, relax and enjoy the baptism and the child you are bringing to new life.

 

[MDomashinski]

And why on earth would this thought even enter your mind: ‘I’d hate this search for sponsors be a determining factor in our openness to future new lives in our marriage.’ That idea is just bizarre! Find two good Catholics (like the godparents to your older child) and they can be the sponsors for all the future children that God blesses you with.

As the parents, you are the ones responsible for the Catholic upbringing of your children. A baptismal sponsor doesn’t have primary responsibility. And the wonderful relative can be an important part of your child’s life even if he’s not the official godparent. This should be a happy time for you, relax and enjoy the baptism and the child you are bringing to new life.

You are so right! I guess I was just so disappointed and desparate. I really want to have this Baptisim on the 25th of July (gown fitting, MIL being present from FLA, etc.) and time is passing.

Thank you all who prayed for me in this situation (it’s amazing how God has blessed us through this anxiousness and we haven’t even had the baby yet)!

So far, from this sponsor trying to back out graces we’ve received are:

1. I was able to discern how every blessing in my current state in life directly flows out of knowing my spouse. (Long story)
2. I have built up my Brother In Laws’ faith by asking him to be our baby’s G-Father and he is pumped about being quite possibly* the* God Father to all our children
3. I have had a tete-a-tete w/ my Mother and Father about the current state of the Church and how it’s not “clerical abuse of power” (as my poor mother likes to place blame) but rather a disregard for the Divine and His love and involvement in every soul’s life (in my humble opinion/observation) that has left my husband and I “high and dry” in choosing Baptismal sponsors. (if God doesn’t care if I keep the commandments, receive the sacraments, etc, then why go to Mass?)
   3.a. In that tete-a-tete I was able to build Mom and Dad up in thanksgiving for their 1. raising me w/ the sacraments and 2. teaching me to seek the truth (their spin however was always to try to undermine the Magesterial teaching authority of the Church and proove Aposotolic Succession ended years ago… pray for them) and it was through them that God has worked and given me this great Faith (that I see them struggling for… pray for them).

Thank you CAF friends!
Thank you God!

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

I don’t know about tradition–but my godparents were not related to us. They were confirmed practicing Catholic friends of my parents.

 

[1ke]

Only one sponsor (godparent) is required. Two are allowed if they are of the opposite sex.

So you need not have two.