Baby?

[Momof9inFL]

Hello all,

My husband and I are the parents of 9 wonderful children. We are very happy together.
But my husband wants another child. I’m not so sure. I have had a few miscarriages and really thought we were done.
But my husband tells me nearly daily how much he loves me, the kids and our life. So much so, he wants to add to it.
We have a great sex life and I happily make love to him. If It is God’s will…we will conceive. My husband however has started to more closely check my charts. He will surprise me by coming home at lunch when the little ones are napping and suggesting we make love. I enjoy the attention and we have great times. One week, he came home at lunch every day. Still not pregnant.

What can I do?

 

[pianistclare]

About what?

You’re happy. He’s happy. You both like a big family.
What are you asking?
You’ve stated that you’re leaving it to God.

 

[mdleagedguy]

Hello all,

My husband and I are the parents of 9 wonderful children. We are very happy together.
But my husband wants another child. I’m not so sure. I have had a few miscarriages and really thought we were done.
But my husband tells me nearly daily how much he loves me, the kids and our life. So much so, he wants to add to it.
We have a great sex life and I happily make love to him. If It is God’s will…we will conceive. My husband however has started to more closely check my charts. He will surprise me by coming home at lunch when the little ones are napping and suggesting we make love. I enjoy the attention and we have great times. One week, he came home at lunch every day. Still not pregnant.

What can I do?

I know how you feel. My wife and I have eight. We had four miscarriages after the last one. We would both like another baby, but it’s just not going to happen. It’s been a couple of years since we conceived. You’re probably done, like us. We have to content ourselves with looking at all the cute babies during Mass.

 

[Jeanne_S]

I know how you feel. My wife and I have eight. We had four miscarriages after the last one. We would both like another baby, but it’s just not going to happen. It’s been a couple of years since we conceived. You’re probably done, like us. We have to content ourselves with looking at all the cute babies during Mass.

Or look forward to being grandparents someday.It really is grand! You can love on them and just drink in their cuteness then they go home and you can regroup

 

[underacloud]

What can I do?

I also don’t really know what your question is.

Some possible answers…

Tell your husband that you don’t really want to try for another baby, if that’s how you really feel.

Happily, actively try for another baby and see what happens.

Take a laissez-faire attitude and see what happens.

 

[Regina7]

Do you regularly show your charts to a nfp nurse/doc? Just by looking at my charts, my Creighton doc can tell all kinds of things, including hormone imbalance, possible infection, pre- menopause, etc. Show your charts to someone who can help you.

Good luck!

 

[The_Old_Maid]

But my husband tells me nearly daily how much he loves me, the kids and our life. So much so, he wants to add to it.

I confess, the first thought that popped into my head was why the sudden baby hunger? Why the repetition? If he’s mentioning it “nearly daily,” then it’s unlikely you’ll forget. Maybe there’s something else going on in his life. Whatever the result, hope all goes well for you and the 9 (or more) little ones.

 

[pianistclare]

I’ll admit…as a first post? :ehh:

How many mothers with 9 children are still charting?
How many mothers of nine can stop what they are doing for a lunch tryst?
How many mothers of 9 worry about not being able to conceive?

It seems like the OP has a happy home life. A large family, a loving husband, a great sex life.
I don’t see problems.
Maybe someone thinks Catholics will say something outrageous.
Makes no sense.

Good luck OP.
But honestly, I think you’re fine. If you hubs is that nice of a guy… enjoy your life.

 

[alphawoman]

OP:

But my husband wants another child. I’m not so sure. I have had a few miscarriages and really thought we were done.

What do you want? Your opinion matters.

 

[kptrs]

I’ll admit…as a first post? :ehh:

How many mothers with 9 children are still charting?
How many mothers of nine can stop what they are doing for a lunch tryst?
How many mothers of 9 worry about not being able to conceive?

It seems like the OP has a happy home life. A large family, a loving husband, a great sex life.
I don’t see problems.
Maybe someone thinks Catholics will say something outrageous.
Makes no sense.

Good luck OP.
But honestly, I think you’re fine. If you hubs is that nice of a guy… enjoy your life.

Yeah… I don’t want to sound uncharitable, but some people can’t even have one child and are heartbroken by it. You are abundantly blessed to have nine. I don’t understand why you are worried about whether or not you can have another.

 

[Regina7]

Yeah… I don’t want to sound uncharitable, but some people can’t even have one child and are heartbroken by it. You are abundantly blessed to have nine. I don’t understand why you are worried about whether or not you can have another.

You can say that about any person’s problem: “other people have it worse so stop complaining.” So even though I’ve buried 3 babies, should I not grieve because others have lost more?

This is an issue for OP. Whether we all would find it an issue in our own lives is not the point.

 

[pianistclare]

You can say that about any person’s problem: “other people have it worse so stop complaining.” So even though I’ve buried 3 babies, should I not grieve because others have lost more?

This is an issue for OP. Whether we all would find it an issue in our own lives is not the point.

I hope this isn’t directed at me, since that was not the intent of my post.
It just all sounds too…I don’t know…perfect, I guess.
Particularly since the OP has not been back to the thread.

 

[Regina7]

I hope this isn’t directed at me, since that was not the intent of my post.
It just all sounds too…I don’t know…perfect, I guess.
Particularly since the OP has not been back to the thread.

No, it wasn’t directed at you.

I’ve been to many support groups over the years, and it’s never helpful to hear “You should be happy because at least you don’t have this problem.”

 

[kptrs]

You can say that about any person’s problem: “other people have it worse so stop complaining.” So even though I’ve buried 3 babies, should I not grieve because others have lost more?

This is an issue for OP. Whether we all would find it an issue in our own lives is not the point.

I didn’t mean to undermine the OP. I’m sorry if I sounded that way. I’m really just asking an honest question. If you have nine beautiful, healthy children and can’t have anymore, why is that a bad thing? I’m not saying this in a “you should just be happy” way. I’m really just curious why she wants another baby. I’m sure she has a good answer. I’m just wondering what that answer is.

 

[Momof9inFL]

I really am happy with my life. I just really didn’t want to add another child, although I would be happy if it was God’s will to bless us.
My husband really wants one more. I guess my question was how can I tell him that I don’t want us to actively try to conceive. Just this week, he stayed home from work one day and we made love three times, all in an effort to conceive, he told me. I want to make him happy so I’m always open to his needs and desires and I find him sexually attractive. I could be pregnant now.
Maybe in a year or two, we could try. Right now I’m happy with our family.

Do I just allow him to make this decision?

 

[kptrs]

I really am happy with my life. I just really didn’t want to add another child, although I would be happy if it was God’s will to bless us.
My husband really wants one more. I guess my question was how can I tell him that I don’t want us to actively try to conceive. Just this week, he stayed home from work one day and we made love three times, all in an effort to conceive, he told me. I want to make him happy so I’m always open to his needs and desires and I find him sexually attractive. I could be pregnant now.
Maybe in a year or two, we could try. Right now I’m happy with our family.

Do I just allow him to make this decision?

Your opinion matters. Have you told him how you feel?

 

[underacloud]

Do I just allow him to make this decision?

No, this is a decision you should make together. One should not just let the other choose.

Time to talk to your husband about how you feel.

 

[alphawoman]

I really am happy with my life. I just really didn’t want to add another child, although I would be happy if it was God’s will to bless us.
My husband really wants one more. I guess my question was how can I tell him that I don’t want us to actively try to conceive. Just this week, he stayed home from work one day and we made love three times, all in an effort to conceive, he told me. I want to make him happy so I’m always open to his needs and desires and I find him sexually attractive. I could be pregnant now.
Maybe in a year or two, we could try. Right now I’m happy with our family.

Do I just allow him to make this decision?

If you don’t want another child now, then tell him so and don’t engage in intercourse during your fertile period. If you do, then do the opposite. Take the creation and care of a new life seriously enough to be an active participant in the decision making process, as is your responsibility as a prospective new (again) parent.

 

[MomaMary8]

I really am happy with my life. I just really didn’t want to add another child, although I would be happy if it was God’s will to bless us.
My husband really wants one more. I guess my question was how can I tell him that I don’t want us to actively try to conceive. Just this week, he stayed home from work one day and we made love three times, all in an effort to conceive, he told me. I want to make him happy so I’m always open to his needs and desires and I find him sexually attractive. I could be pregnant now.
Maybe in a year or two, we could try. Right now I’m happy with our family.

Do I just allow him to make this decision?

Sounds like you are more accepting of your age and fertility than your husband. My DH also had a hard time accepting that I could no longer get pregnant. Our whole life together, I have been having babies. He took some time to get used to the idea that we were not going to be able to have more. I could have acted in anger at his lack of acceptance of my age, but instead I’ve had to gently remind him that our time for babies is over. We all grow older, and it is an act of humility to accept those symptoms of age. Pray for your husband to accept this new stage of parenting. Some guys who love babies have a hard time when fertility declines in their wife. Gently nudge your husband to look forward to the stage of parenting that brings college graduations, marriages and hopefully grandchildren. It may come sooner than he thinks.

 

[DoxieMama]

Maybe you can make an appointment with your priest and include your husband. Find out what’s driving this baby hunger, and see if he’s willing to wait a couple years. if that’s what you want.