Babysitting Payment - Women/Girls only please

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moon1234

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My 13 year old daughter babysat our youngest four at home during the summer while my wife and I worked on our farm raising veggies for private school income and for extra money to pay for home repair, some fun activities, etc.

We never pay our kids until the end of the season because we never know how much we will make. We have extra this year so we were going to pay the older kids who helped.

We plan on giving each child around $400. My daughter, however, has been wanting to see P!nk in concert for a few years. We felt she was too young in the past, but now feel she is mature enough to enjoy a concert with being able to look past some of the language in the lyrics. My wife and I were thinking of getting her tickets to be in either the pit or in the first few rows. These are pricey tickets and are would cost a little more than $400 to send her and her mother to the concert.

My question for the women/girls here would be, Thinking back to when you were 13 (not now) would you appreciate being surprised with concert tickets to your favorite singer or with cash money in an envelope. Most of the older women at work have indicated they would like to have had the concert tickets, but one of them said she would have rather had the money. I am curious to know what opinions here would be.

Thanks!
 
Money and permission to buy the tickets and go to the concert if that how I chose to spend my hard earned money. Let her make an adult decision with your guidance.

She may also make the mature decision to get cheaper tickets so that she has money left over for other things. That would also be a very wise and mature choice.

Good way to learn money management.
 
When I was that age, I would probably have rather had the money, but I was a weird kid and really independent, so part of the joy of it would have been spending the money myself instead of having something purchased for me.

Maybe you could give your daughter the choice? Teenagers like to feel like they have some agency over their lives, and she could tell you better which she would prefer.
 
Speaking for myself, I would prefer the cash. Tickets are a nice thought, but at 13, I had my own ideas on how to spend my babysitting money (I stashed it in the bank and paid cash for my first car).
 
It depends. I don’t always know the price of the shows I want to see, and how much I want to see them and where I want to sit usually depends on the price. If she was expecting some financial compensation for babysitting, she may already have plans on where to spend that money. Plus, to be honest, seeing a concert with my mom wouldn’t have been the same experience as seeing a concert with friends. I’m embarrassed to say now that I was embarrassing to be seen with my mom when I was around age 13-14. :o
 
Not sure why you think you need to get front row/expensive seats?

If the agreed upon deal is babysitting for payment then pay her.

If you want to give her a gift of going to the concert, don’t tie it to the babysitting. Do it as an extra “thank you”, do it as a birthday/Christmas/whatever gift. And, consider something a little more reasonably priced for seats.
 
I would have wanted the money. Gifts are nice, but $400 is a substantial amount. I would have wanted to spend it as I chose. 🙂
 
1ke said:
Not sure why you think you need to get front row/expensive seats?

If the agreed upon deal is babysitting for payment then pay her.

If you want to give her a gift of going to the concert, don’t tie it to the babysitting. Do it as an extra “thank you”, do it as a birthday/Christmas/whatever gift. And, consider something a little more reasonably priced for seats.
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I just chose those as that is all that is left to buy and she had mentioned that if she ever got to go to a concert she wanted to be right up front. I try to file these little tidbits in my head as I never seem to know what to get kids and they rarely tell me they want the same thing more than once or twice.

I never told them how much they would get. The boys wanted shotguns and a case of bullets each. That added up to around $400 each. It is a very boy thing and what I also wanted when I was that age. My sister was always gaga over New Kids on the Block and other groups with posters on her wall, etc. That is why the concert thing came to mind. My daughter told me P!nk was her favorite singer so I just looked online and saw her in concert in Milwaukee in November. That is only an hour or so from where we live.

Would you allow a 13 year old to go with a friend to a concert by themselves? That is the only reason I included her mom. Maybe I am being a little over protective dad?
 
I’d give her the money, and let her go to the concert if that is how she chooses to spend it. I don’t think I’d let a 13 year old go to a concert unsupervised, but that way if she wants to go, she can ask her friends and maybe either her mother or one of the other parents could chaperone. But I wouldn’t assume she’d want to go with her mother and just buy the tickets- give her the money and let her decide.
 
moon1234 said:
I just chose those as that is all that is left to buy and she had mentioned that if she ever got to go to a concert she wanted to be right up front. I try to file these little tidbits in my head as I never seem to know what to get kids and they rarely tell me they want the same thing more than once or twice.

I never told them how much they would get. The boys wanted shotguns and a case of bullets each. That added up to around $400 each. It is a very boy thing and what I also wanted when I was that age. My sister was always gaga over New Kids on the Block and other groups with posters on her wall, etc. That is why the concert thing came to mind. My daughter told me P!nk was her favorite singer so I just looked online and saw her in concert in Milwaukee in November. That is only an hour or so from where we live.
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I’d give her a choice, or the money to spend as she wants. Personally I don’t think I’d want her going to a Pink concert, but hey, that is me.
moon1234 said:
Would you allow a 13 year old to go with a friend to a concert by themselves? That is the only reason I included her mom. Maybe I am being a little over protective dad?
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No way, Jose. I would not let 13 year olds go to a concert by themselves.
 
moon1234 said:
I just chose those as that is all that is left to buy and she had mentioned that if she ever got to go to a concert she wanted to be right up front. I try to file these little tidbits in my head as I never seem to know what to get kids and they rarely tell me they want the same thing more than once or twice.

I never told them how much they would get. The boys wanted shotguns and a case of bullets each. That added up to around $400 each. It is a very boy thing and what I also wanted when I was that age. My sister was always gaga over New Kids on the Block and other groups with posters on her wall, etc. That is why the concert thing came to mind. My daughter told me P!nk was her favorite singer so I just looked online and saw her in concert in Milwaukee in November. That is only an hour or so from where we live.

Would you allow a 13 year old to go with a friend to a concert by themselves? That is the only reason I included her mom. Maybe I am being a little over protective dad?
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If the boys got gifts and not money, I would give the girl a gift and not money. You may have some upset boys when they realize that their sister is getting 400 bucks and all they got was a shotgun and some ammo. I know that the cost is the same, but most kids don’t realize that.
 
Can you ask her? Mom and I were thinking of this or that- which would you like?

As far as attending alone at 13? NO WAY. 🙂 Even with friends, an adult must be present.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
If the boys got gifts and not money, I would give the girl a gift and not money. You may have some upset boys when they realize that their sister is getting 400 bucks and all they got was a shotgun and some ammo. I know that the cost is the same, but most kids don’t realize that.
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I think boys who are into hunting here in the rural MW know exactly what guns and ammo cost.
 
1ke said:
No way, Jose. I would not let 13 year olds go to a concert by themselves.
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Absolutely. When I was 13, I would have very much wanted to go to a concert with friends and no adults. It would have been a terrible idea, really terrible. Aside from any danger from muggers or whatever, I was smart but my judgement was unreliable–probably more unreliable than my parents realized.

I would also have rather died than go to a concert with just my mom. She wouldn’t have enjoyed it either. If all that is left is the expensive tickets, that is possibly a sign that you should wait for the next tour. Her friends won’t be able to afford to go with her. It really isn’t the same at all.

Besides, I probably told my parents that I would want to be right up front, too, but if it had been my own money (and in this case it is, in a sense, her own money), I probably would have gone for something more mid-range, and spent some of the rest on something to wear to the concert, some on buying stuff at the concert, etc.

It’s a kind thought, and I’m sure your family appreciates your paying attention to things like that, but this time, I think it just doesn’t work out right.

–Jen
 
revert_jen said:
Absolutely. When I was 13, I would have very much wanted to go to a concert with friends and no adults. It would have been a terrible idea, really terrible. Aside from any danger from muggers or whatever, I was smart but my judgement was unreliable–probably more unreliable than my parents realized.
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Yeah, no way would I let 13 yo girls off by themselves at the venue. Too many bad things could come of that.
revert_jen said:
I would also have rather died than go to a concert with just my mom. She wouldn’t have enjoyed it either. If all that is left is the expensive tickets, that is possibly a sign that you should wait for the next tour. Her friends won’t be able to afford to go with her. It really isn’t the same at all.
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Now there we differ. Every concert I went to in Jr High and High school was with my dad. I’ve seen tons of concerts with him and never went with any friends until college. Maybe I’m the oddball but it never occurred to me that this was an issue.
 
I would give her the money. And this…
Aggies08 said:
As far as attending alone at 13? NO WAY. 🙂 Even with friends, an adult must be present.
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Personally, I would not let a 13 year old go alone with friends. Even though your daughter might be mature enough to handle it, the friends might be another story. So whether you buy the tickets for her or give her the money and she buys them, I would make the stipulation that adult supervision is required (you or your spouse). Just my :twocents::).
 
No to a 13 year old left alone at a crowded public venue like that. No way.

I’d offer her the choice: the cash or the somewhat more expensive tickets that include your ticket, since you aren’t in a position to just make a gift of the tickets. Or maybe tell her how much of the total will be hers to pay, if you’re willing to pay for more of you own ticket. Let her choose.
 
Let her choose how to spend her earnings. Important for her to have the right to make that decision.

God bless you and your family.
 
Like others have suggested, ask her which she’d prefer.

At thirteen, I would have loved the tickets. I got my first pair of concert tickets when I was thirteen and was over the moon. I took my best friend with me. I had a younger aunt take us, rather than my mom, as I was too young to go by myself, but didn’t want to go with a parent. Having the fun, young aunt was great. One of my favorite memories. 🙂
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Money and permission to buy the tickets and go to the concert if that how I chose to spend my hard earned money. Let her make an adult decision with your guidance.

She may also make the mature decision to get cheaper tickets so that she has money left over for other things. That would also be a very wise and mature choice.

Good way to learn money management.
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^^^^THIS
 
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