Bachelorette Party and Sleepwear

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aggiecatholic85

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I am attending my sister’s bachelorette party in the next few months. It is going to be a very “clean” party (i.e. no strippers, etc). We’re all Catholic fortunately! I was wondering if anyone had any opinions on the giving of honeymoon lingerie to the bride? I was given a lot at my bach. party, and most of the “scanty” little lace up numbers I never wear except on special occasions. I was thinking (to avoid my modest sister’s embarrassment) of giving her a modest teddie/robe set and some warmer PJs (winter Feb. wedding with honeymoon in the North). I think the over-sexed lingerie is ridiculous, but I want her to have some nice pretty sleepwear to celebrate her and hubby’s first time together. Do you think this is a good idea? Am I too “prudish” in wanting to avoid the “porn star” type lingerie in favor of a sexy but more modest (and comfortable) sleepwear celebration of a honeymoon? I know my friends gave me sexy little pieces because it would be my first time ever having sex (on my honeymoon) and it’s the same case with my sister, but I don’t want to send the message that you have to look like a porn star to share that moment with your husband.

On a side note, I was also going to get her a book by Christopher West on marriage. 🙂
 
One possibility is that you could give her the gift at a different time, perhaps before the guests arrive, if you think she might be shy. I think the kinds of pretty things you are thinking of would be just fine.
 
I have always found bachelorette parties distasteful. I have never been to a clean one, as you describe though. My opinion of my sister-in-law is forever tarnished from having attended hers. I never understood the purpose. It used to be the bride would have only a civilized wedding shower. It always seemed to me that the advent of bachelorette parties stems from the feminist attempts to be just like men.

But since you are going to one anyway, I guess I wouldn’t give lingerie if you think it may embarass. I wouldn’t want the sacred topic of sex to be discussed in any kind of cavalier or casual way. Opening the lingerie might give rise to that. Maybe give her some kind of book that would help her to be more loving wife–“Fascinating Womanhood” or something like that.
 
I didn’t have a bachelorette party for my first wedding, nor bridal shower, I didn’t really care for any of that…BUT for this engagement my friends are going crazy preparing for both!!! It’s like “girls I really don’t want it?!” But I am not going to insist they have put a lot of thought and effort in it…I am just going to go along with it…I know my fiance will have a bachelor party and he said I should too so I am not going to argue with anyone! 🤷 Anyhow, my aunt as a wedding gift gave me sexy lingerie…I didn’t get embarrassed about it I thought it was sexy I never had sexy lingerie before I thanked her! Helped me get over the whole anxiety of honeymoon time!

If you feel she will be embarrassed then get her something sweet, something that will make her hubby want to cuddle with her, I know mine would love cuddling stuff…
 
You can find absolutely beautiful and tasteful lingerie that will not have your sister look like a porn star.

Go to a good department store and ask the sales person for a “penoir”. It’s a nightgown robe combo.

I gave my SIL one for he bridal shower. It was beautiful, not at all porn.

She’s getting married, she and her future DH will see each other undressed.
 
AnotherChance said:
Maybe give her some kind of book that would help her to be more loving wife–“Fascinating Womanhood” or something like that.
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Good Golly, no - that book is so far off the Catholic teachings tha it is not even funny!!

For the OP, one can buy a pretty peignoir sets -

Something vintage?

heavenlyvintagelingerie.com/store/cat/80.Nightgown.&.Peignoir.Sets

rubylane.com/shops/vintagepretties/item/DK-101?gbase=1

silverscreenloungerie.com/content.asp?item_cat=9
 
kage_ar said:
Good Golly, no - that book is so far off the Catholic teachings tha it is not even funny!!
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I sincerely want to know why. I bought it after Colleen Kelly Mast recommended it on “The Doctor is In” Catholic radio show. It’s not orthodox Catholic, but I found some of its ideas useful.
 
aggiecatholic85 said:
I am attending my sister’s bachelorette party in the next few months. It is going to be a very “clean” party (i.e. no strippers, etc). We’re all Catholic fortunately! I was wondering if anyone had any opinions on the giving of honeymoon lingerie to the bride? I was given a lot at my bach. party, and most of the “scanty” little lace up numbers I never wear except on special occasions. I was thinking (to avoid my modest sister’s embarrassment) of giving her a modest teddie/robe set and some warmer PJs (winter Feb. wedding with honeymoon in the North). I think the over-sexed lingerie is ridiculous, but I want her to have some nice pretty sleepwear to celebrate her and hubby’s first time together. Do you think this is a good idea? Am I too “prudish” in wanting to avoid the “porn star” type lingerie in favor of a sexy but more modest (and comfortable) sleepwear celebration of a honeymoon? I know my friends gave me sexy little pieces because it would be my first time ever having sex (on my honeymoon) and it’s the same case with my sister, but I don’t want to send the message that you have to look like a porn star to share that moment with your husband.

On a side note, I was also going to get her a book by Christopher West on marriage. 🙂
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If you don’t mind a fella chiming in, I would say you go right ahead and give her the warm jammies or nightshirt. In the first place, who says that nice warm, soft and pleasent to the touch flannel is not sexy?? I’m sure that by doing a bit of shpping you can find an attractive outfit that is modest and comfortable and still be attractive.
While I would never deny liking to see my lady in a “skanty little number” for some special occasion, I have never disliked her in a flannels. It’s about the closeness and Love - Not the tittlation.

As a Final note, She may well appreciate your warm and cosy gift most of all since everyone else will likely get her things too light for northern nights. Remember, she’ll need to get up once in a while on her honeymoon. 😃 It ould be nice to have a cosy warm Robe to pull on.

You ar a thoughtful sister - and a realist.👍

Just my 2c

Peace
James
 
I agree with JRKH, I think a good husband would rather his wife be comfortable (physically and modestly) first and foremost.
 
I personally would be profoundly uncomfortable with another person buying me lingerie. Even when my husband wants to buy me some he asks for my (name removed by moderator)ut. I really feel strongly that what I wear in the bedroom is strictly between me and him. I would be mortified if my sister had bought me any sexy nighties! Not a moral judgement…just my personal feelings on the matter. If I were invited to a party like that, I’d probably give some fancy bubble bath and lotion. IMHO that is a sensual gift that is not overly sexual or distasteful. You are not being prudish, you are being practical. I have a whole pile of silly little things that never get worn, ever.

If you want to gift her with nightwear I’d stick to the cute stuff. Victoria’s Secret does have nice nightwear that isn’t overtly sexy. Although my husband HATES my flannel PJs from VS, I need them to keep warm in the winter! They aren’t schlumpy, but nicely cut with a pretty print.
 
I’m going to pass on the wonderful words of wisdom my husband’s grandmother gave to his sister before her wedding.

Picture this: We are in the store, grandma, my MIL, my SIL and myself. MIL wanted to buy SIL a pretty nightgown for her wedding night. My SIL and her soon to be husband had waited for each other for their wedding night and she wanted something special and tasteful. So as we are looking grandma looks at my very shy SIL and says and I quote " don’t waste your time and money on these things…just run at him naked"😃

There are very pretty nightgowns out there. Maybe something long, with a satin robe would be nice.
 
happymommy said:
I’m going to pass on the wonderful words of wisdom my husband’s grandmother gave to his sister before her wedding.

Picture this: We are in the store, grandma, my MIL, my SIL and myself. MIL wanted to buy SIL a pretty nightgown for her wedding night. My SIL and her soon to be husband had waited for each other for their wedding night and she wanted something special and tasteful. So as we are looking grandma looks at my very shy SIL and says and I quote " don’t waste your time and money on these things…just run at him naked"😃

There are very pretty nightgowns out there. Maybe something long, with a satin robe would be nice.
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Trust Grandmas to get to the gist of the matter.😃
I was so small and skinny and looked so young that any lingerie I tried on looked like I was playing dressup with my mom’s clothes. I took the cheap option – birthday suit.
 
Re: bachelorette parties

We women could always go back to the really old-fashioned way of doing things – accompanying the bride to the wedding while singing bawdy songs, accompanying the bride and groom to their bedchamber while singing bawdy songs, undressing the bride and putting her to bed while singing bawdy songs, and then banging pots and pans around outside the bedroom next morning – while singing bawdy songs!

Bachelorette parties are probably not halfway as bad, and buying lingerie for your sister is probably not nearly as embarrassing. 🙂
 
To me there is a difference between “porn star” lingerie and simply sexy, lacy, silky lingerie. 🤷 I’d get her something that isn’t ridiculous, but that IS sexy…it’s for her DH you know? My sister is getting married next summer and I’ll get her something that is tasteful, but obviously lingerie.

I’m a modest person and I had a nice, fun, clean bachelorette party…I’m glad I got some pretty, sexy, fun lingerie b/c that stuff is pricey and I wasn’t about to be buying on a newlywed’s budget! 🙂
 
AnotherChance said:
I sincerely want to know why. I bought it after Colleen Kelly Mast recommended it on “The Doctor is In” Catholic radio show. It’s not orthodox Catholic, but I found some of its ideas useful.
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So we do not sidetrack the thread - the search feature will lead you to many conversations about this protestant book.
 
My three sisters gave me a set of satin-y pajamas (capris and a buttoned top), a satin-y robe and a matching playful little satin nightgown thing (tasteful though…no one in my family would be appalled if they saw me in it). They weren’t all from the same company but they complimented each other so well, it was like a four piece set! I had something for every mood I was in. 😉

My mom’s side is Italian and we have the tradition where the mother gives the daughter something to wear on the wedding night. My mom gave me an *amazing *penoir set (long gown with a long sleeved robe). Everything was covered and my husband still said “Wow!” it was that classy. 😃
 
happymommy said:
I’m going to pass on the wonderful words of wisdom my husband’s grandmother gave to his sister before her wedding.

Picture this: We are in the store, grandma, my MIL, my SIL and myself. MIL wanted to buy SIL a pretty nightgown for her wedding night. My SIL and her soon to be husband had waited for each other for their wedding night and she wanted something special and tasteful. So as we are looking grandma looks at my very shy SIL and says and I quote " don’t waste your time and money on these things…just run at him naked"😃

There are very pretty nightgowns out there. Maybe something long, with a satin robe would be nice.
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Great story. 👍
You know I sort of wanted to say osmething along the lines of this but couldn’t think of how to say it without sounding like - well - sounding like a “Guy”…

The Truth is that both of them are going to be so keyed up and full of each other, that no matter what she (or he) wears, the main goal is going to be to…Fade to black (as they say in the movies)

Peace
James
 
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