Bachelorette Party at Male Strip Club

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StratusRose

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My friend is getting married in July and her bachelorette party is next month at a male strip club. I went a long time ago when I was 18 and 19, but I was a different person then. The dancers usually dance erotically to 70s songs while the women scream erratically while getting drunk. I fail to find that entertaining.:confused:

I am having serious reservations about going because I think the club is nasty and immoral. However, I don’t want to tell my friends that, and I don’t want to lie to them about my not being able to go. How can I tell them that I don’t want to go with out hurting feelings or making me look like a prude? 😦
 
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StratusRose:
My friend is getting married in July and her bachelorette party is next month at a male strip club. I went a long time ago when I was 18 and 19, but I was a different person then. The dancers usually dance erotically to 70s songs while the women scream erratically while getting drunk. I fail to find that entertaining.:confused:

I am having serious reservations about going because I think the club is nasty and immoral. However, I don’t want to tell my friends that, and I don’t want to lie to them about my not being able to go. How can I tell them that I don’t want to go with out hurting feelings or making me look like a prude? 😦
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Hells Bells, Stratus! What’s wrong with being honest? What’s wrong with saying you’ve matured since the last time you went there, and maybe couldn’t we find something a little more grown-up to do?
 
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mercygate:
Hells Bells, Stratus! What’s wrong with being honest? What’s wrong with saying you’ve matured since the last time you went there, and maybe couldn’t we find something a little more grown-up to do?
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You’re right. It’s just I don’t feel like putting up with the comments.

(I suddenly have AC/DC stuck in my head now!)
 
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StratusRose:
You’re right. It’s just I don’t feel like putting up with the comments.

(I suddenly have AC/DC stuck in my head now!)
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You’ll probably rescue others who feel the way you do but are also afraid to “spoil” fun.
 
Your friend’s wedding is a sick joke. Nobody who is interested in going to a strip club should get married. I wouldn’t go to the wedding. The wedding is a lie. A bride or groom going to a strip club in anticipation of taking sacred vows is disgusting.
 
COURAGE is what you need. God will bless you for being counter cultural and a “lamp on a hill” and not hiding the light of Christ under a bushel basket. This is what we are called to do as Christians–witness to the light and truth of Christ. You go girl go!!
 
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StratusRose:
My friend is getting married in July and her bachelorette party is next month at a male strip club. I went a long time ago when I was 18 and 19, but I was a different person then. The dancers usually dance erotically to 70s songs while the women scream erratically while getting drunk. I fail to find that entertaining.:confused:

I am having serious reservations about going because I think the club is nasty and immoral. However, I don’t want to tell my friends that, and I don’t want to lie to them about my not being able to go. How can I tell them that I don’t want to go with out hurting feelings or making me look like a prude? 😦
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…i can’t see why you would want to be someone you are not now… you said you were a different person now… tell her the truth, you are a different person now, and would not be happy at the exibition… if she is the friend that i assume she is, she will understand… if she doesn’t, then you might question your alliegence priority… to her, or yourself and God… No one said our faith choices would be easy… you tell me… you already know the right thing to do… now comes the test… what will you do?..

i wish you peace with your decision:thumbsup:
http://www.silverbulletcomics.com/img/product_images/propic-00000288-01-full.jpg
 
Sheeeeesh…

You remember that phrase in the Act of Contrition about “avoiding near occasions of sin?” And the part in the New Testament about “Amen, amen, I say unto you, whosoever looks at a woman with sin in his heart sins with her?” I think the same thing applies to women looking at guys with sinful thoughts. It’s one thing to admire a good physique. It’s another to feel desire.

And let’s face it, it’s pretty hard to go to one of those places without having sinful thoughts. It’s a near occasion of sin. I think you are absolutely right for not wanting to go.

It would be a tough road to object on moral grounds, but I encourage you to do so. Say “Look, sis, I think this is wrong. I can’t go to that sort of thing,” and stick to your guns. They can’t make you go. They’ll try, but just ask your guardian angel to put a wing around you. You’ll be fine. :angel1:
 
Pray for courage from the Holy Spirit. This is NOT a place you need to be, want to be and should be. You know this. Maybe this one situation has fallen into your lap as an oportunity to lead others into the light as well?

Why doyou care what others rally think - you should really be focusing on what Christ will think.

Maybe God will be working through you to show some other women that this is not appropriate. No one said the path was easy.

Take a courageous stand! Now is your chance to be the Christian example.
 
Try this one “why pay money to go to a male strip club when you can get gay guys to dance in your house for free?” 😃

Honestly, those places are filled with very drunk women acting like idiots. Why not suggest dinner at a to-die-for restaurant and a jazz club after? A grown up evening!
 
I can appreciate your dilemma. My bachelor party is in a week and I am adamantly opposed to going to a strip club (I did that plenty when I was young, but have matured, and found God, since then).

I suspect it’s even harder for guys because everyone expects a guy’s bachelor party to involve strip clubs. I’ve definitely taken a lot of heat from people for not doing it. “That’s not a bachelor party” is a common statement.

My compromise: we’re going to Vegas. That activity is available for those who want to partake. I, and my friends who feel likewise, can do other things (we’ve got plans to see Dennis Miller and Cirque du Soleil). Hopefully, everyone will be in a situation they are comfortable in.

I can understand your concern that your friends won’t understand, because I bet they won’t. I agree with everyone else though that you need to explain why you don’t want to go and then NOT GO. It’s not easy bucking the culture, but it’s what we have to do.

Good luck!
 
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kage_ar:
Honestly, those places are filled with very drunk women acting like idiots. Why not suggest dinner at a to-die-for restaurant and a jazz club after? A grown up evening!
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A fabulous suggestion. I’m wondering how old the bride-to-be is and who planned this tacky event for her? How does she feel about it? Frankly I would be a little embarassed if this was planned for me. If you approach it like that–distasteful, tacky, cheap, trailer-trashy…it may resonate with more than a few.

Unfortunately since it’s on the calendar it may be hard to cancel. Perhaps your best option is to bow out of this ridiculous and immature nonsense–sparing other guests the morality lecture and finger wagging–your actions will speak louder than words. Plan a separate event with a little more class that provides a more meaningful gathering and bonding opportunity for friends of a woman about to take on such a significant life change. An intimate, thoughtful, yet simple dinner party in your own home could be a very memorable and far more meaningful option. You could go from there–depending on the group’s interests: maybe a “book club” type meeting–where you pick a book on marriage and discuss it among the group of friends; try a day-hike or bike ride–plan the route and a picnic lunch along the way; a spa day; a wine tasting; if you’re really up for a challenge–a service project you volunteer to do together in honor of the couple to be married on a weekend followed by a BBQ, etc…etc…
 
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Wampa:
I can appreciate your dilemma. My bachelor party is in a week and I am adamantly opposed to going to a strip club (I did that plenty when I was young, but have matured, and found God, since then).

I suspect it’s even harder for guys because everyone expects a guy’s bachelor party to involve strip clubs. I’ve definitely taken a lot of heat from people for not doing it. “That’s not a bachelor party” is a common statement.

My compromise: we’re going to Vegas. That activity is available for those who want to partake. I, and my friends who feel likewise, can do other things (we’ve got plans to see Dennis Miller and Cirque du Soleil). Hopefully, everyone will be in a situation they are comfortable in.

I can understand your concern that your friends won’t understand, because I bet they won’t. I agree with everyone else though that you need to explain why you don’t want to go and then NOT GO. It’s not easy bucking the culture, but it’s what we have to do.

Good luck!
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As much as I appreciate your efforts to accomodate your friends, I do not think providing them with sinful entertainment is helping them. If you now understand that going to strip clubs is wrong, I believe it is your moral obligation to tell your friends so and plan an event that all can enjoy.

I have a friend who told me she would have some inappropriate things at her bachelorette party, and I told her I wouldn’t be able to come. She thought it was harsh, especially since it didn’t go as far as strippers, and she thought I was judgemental, but I could not participate in an activity with these things and took the opportunity to explain why to her when she asked.

I personally have handled it by not having a bachelorette party. I’m having a bridal shower, and that’s it; end of story. My fiance has a best man he can trust with not allowing inappropriate things at his party.

God bless.
 
I was flattered when a Medical Resident where I work asked me if I knew a good restaurant where “gentlemen” could have a bachelor dinner WITHOUT strippers and riotous carryings-on. I named New York’s Cafe des Artistes, famous for its beautiful 1920s murals of nude water-nymphs in a forest pond. Really. Very beautiful: you would have to be seriously sick to find these paintings lurid. You could take your mother to this place (and I have). The food is fine. The ambience is elegant. The dinner was a terrific success – and nobody got drunk.
 
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ElizabethAnne:
As much as I appreciate your efforts to accomodate your friends, I do not think providing them with sinful entertainment is helping them.

God bless.
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I’m not providing the entertainment by any means. I was just invited. These are friends I see maybe 3-4 times a year, so I am sure that they will do their thing no matter what I say.
 
I was almost 40 years old the first time I went to a strip club. It was for a bachelor party for a coworker Adeel who was to go to his country for an arranged marriage.

It was kind of interesting, although stupid. Men getting drunk, women constantly milking the customers for tips. (I’ve heard they’ve quit that but I didn’t go back to verify.) One girl “rewarded” me for giving her a dollar by rubbing her chest in my face. Yuck. I don’t know if she was just sweaty or wearing some nasty lotion but I spent the next 10 minutes in the bathroom trying to wash it off. She looked nice, but ugh.

No more tips from me that night!

I don’t think you need to go to impress anybody. I can imagine male strip clubs are probably at least as stupid as the female one I went to.

Alan
 
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StratusRose:
You’re right. It’s just I don’t feel like putting up with the comments.

(I suddenly have AC/DC stuck in my head now!)
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Pope Benedict XVI has told us that God did not create us to be comfortable but to do great things.

If your friends would hold a stand for doing what is right (and they know it) against you, then perhaps you have advanced to the leadership position among them and it may be time to start seeking other like-minded friends until they come around.
 
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StratusRose:
You’re right. It’s just I don’t feel like putting up with the comments.

(I suddenly have AC/DC stuck in my head now!)
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With all due respect, there are people who are tortured and matryred for their faith everyday! I think you can bear your cross and put up with the comments. Be a Christian soldier! Now is your chance. Pray for the aid of Mary and the Holy Spirit!
 
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StratusRose:
(I suddenly have AC/DC stuck in my head now!)
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Try replacing it with Nilsson’s “Lime in the Coconut.” That one drove me (and consequently those around me) nuts for about the last three days.

Alan
 
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AlanFromWichita:
Try replacing it with Nilsson’s “Lime in the Coconut.”
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Ack! :eek: Now, why’d you want to go and inflict such a thing on all of us? What’d we ever do to you??? :rotfl:

As for the bachelorette strip party - I liked that response - “Sorry, I already went through that stage and there’s nothing fun in it, any more. Can we get together and make the bride a scrapbook or gift-basket, instead?”

(Sorry, I’m stuck in crafts and rubber stamping mode! 😉 )

Elizabeth
 
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