Back to Reality!

[Gabbanelli911]

Well, I had Monday (yesterday) off and I went to confession in the morning and then I attended Monday evening mass because I craved Christ’s body (or communion? Don’t know what the proper way to say it in English when you take the Eucharist). All day Monday I was feeling pretty good and had a very good day with my family. I then woke up Tuesday morning before my family and prayed the rosary, then I went to work.

All day at work I was feeling good and was thinking about God and was even humming some Christian songs that I know. I then came home from work at 4pm (today). I then said something sarcastic to my wife and then she became upset and then I became upset and that was it, my moment of enlightment was immediately over. I then said sorry to my wife but she is still upset, because I always do the same things.

My last confession, previous to yesterday’s, was in February during the beginning of the week and right after confession the same thing happened, that’s why I didn’t participate in the Eucharist during that time, even though I attended mass the following Sunday. Why is life so hard? I try to be good with my family but I have no patience, and it seems that I’m getting worse. What’s wrong with me? Please prey for me, that I become a more patient man and more loving to my wife and daughter.

 

[EasterJoy]

You are describing what sounds like a venial sin. One of the effects of receiving the Eucharist in a state of grace is to wipe out venial sin.

*292. What are the fruits of Holy Communion?
1391-1397
1416

Holy Communion increases our union with Christ and with his Church. It preserves and renews the life of grace received at Baptism and Confirmation and makes us grow in love for our neighbor. It strengthens us in charity, wipes away venial sins and preserves us from mortal sin in the future.

304. Which sins must be confessed?

1456

All grave sins not yet confessed, which a careful examination of conscience brings to mind, must be brought to the sacrament of Penance. The confession of serious sins is the only ordinary way to obtain forgiveness.

305. When is a person obliged to confess mortal sins?

1457

Each of the faithful who has reached the age of discretion is bound to confess his or her mortal sins at least once a year and always before receiving Holy Communion.

306. Why can venial sins also be the object of sacramental confession?

1458

The confession of venial sins is strongly recommended by the Church, even if this is not strictly necessary, because it helps us to form a correct conscience and to fight against evil tendencies. It allows us to be healed by Christ and to progress in the life of the Spirit.

from the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church*

This would be a good thing to talk about with your confessor at a time there isn’t a whole line of other penitents waiting outside the door. Make an appointment to talk to him; it won’t take him long to reassure you that confession is an excellent habit even if it does not heal all of your spiritual faults immediately. He will also let you know that our times of consolation never last indefinitely. Either the evil one will lure us into a discouraging spiritual state, the struggle of this vale of tears will put a veil on the sweetness, or else we will be allowed to go through a period of dryness, to purify our fidelity and strengthen our will to do the will of God for God’s sake alone, and not for spiritual consolations.

 

[Gabbanelli911]

Thanks for your reply and your catechism quotes. I kind of understand what venial sin is but I still feel like a hypocrite when I take communion knowing that I’m not that great of a husband and father. My parish priest is very good and every time I have confession with him, he takes his time to listen and gives great advice, but this time he was unavailable. He has been sick for about 3 weeks and he had surgery on Monday.

I live in a border town so I went to Mexico for confession. I went to four different churches and no priest wanted to take my confession because “they don’t take confessions on Mondays!” Finally I found a church with a priest willing to take my confession. When confession started, I was gathering my thoughts, thinking about my sins when the priest asked me in a hurried voice, What are your sins? I kind of lost my thoughts and told him whatever sins came to my mind, basically the same sins as always, the priest seemed to be in a hurry to end my confession. I was about to ask for advise while thinking about more sins but he grabbed my head and absolved me of my sins and then left! I had my sins written on my iPhone but felt uneasy taking my phone out since this priest was in a hurry. I’m thankful that he took my confession because it appears that Mondays are a busy day for all priests in all the churches in that city but it’s kind of hard to do a real confession in that manner.

I guess I’ll continue with my prayers and will take the Eucharist every time I go to church.

Thanks for your advise

 

[Monica4316]

Well, I had Monday (yesterday) off and I went to confession in the morning and then I attended Monday evening mass because I craved Christ’s body (or communion? Don’t know what the proper way to say it in English when you take the Eucharist). All day Monday I was feeling pretty good and had a very good day with my family. I then woke up Tuesday morning before my family and prayed the rosary, then I went to work.

All day at work I was feeling good and was thinking about God and was even humming some Christian songs that I know. I then came home from work at 4pm (today). I then said something sarcastic to my wife and then she became upset and then I became upset and that was it, my moment of enlightment was immediately over. I then said sorry to my wife but she is still upset, because I always do the same things.

My last confession, previous to yesterday’s, was in February during the beginning of the week and right after confession the same thing happened, that’s why I didn’t participate in the Eucharist during that time, even though I attended mass the following Sunday. Why is life so hard? I try to be good with my family but I have no patience, and it seems that I’m getting worse. What’s wrong with me? Please prey for me, that I become a more patient man and more loving to my wife and daughter.

We all struggle with areas of sin, and it’s different for each person… we need to rely on God’s strength, not on our own, and we also need to be patient with ourselves, - because expecting ourselves to become instant saints could be a form of pride. However, we should also strive to be saints and care about growing, and aim high - we should not just aim for purgatory just be patient during the process!

I also notice something from your post… you said that your last Confession was in February. If you’re trying to fight specific sins, and in general, it’s more helpful to go to Confession more often… for example, every couple weeks. I don’t know if you’ve received Communion between February and now… of course, Communion should only be received in a state of grace, without any mortal sins in our souls. One thing that I can say for sure is that frequent Communion gives us MANY graces to help us grow in holiness, and one of the reasons a person might find it very hard, is because their Communions are too few, or not done with the proper disposition. I would recommend not waiting a long time before your next Confession, but going as soon as you can (like this week), and then receiving both Confession and Communion often I’m sure this would help you a lot, if you receive Communion with the right disposition of soul! do you ever go to Adoration? this also helps a lot and helps our Communions to be better. God bless you

 

[Monica4316]

Thanks for your reply and your catechism quotes. I kind of understand what venial sin is but I still feel like a hypocrite when I take communion knowing that I’m not that great of a husband and father. My parish priest is very good and every time I have confession with him, he takes his time to listen and gives great advice, but this time he was unavailable. He has been sick for about 3 weeks and he had surgery on Monday.

I live in a border town so I went to Mexico for confession. I went to four different churches and no priest wanted to take my confession because “they don’t take confessions on Mondays!” Finally I found a church with a priest willing to take my confession. When confession started, I was gathering my thoughts, thinking about my sins when the priest asked me in a hurried voice, What are your sins? I kind of lost my thoughts and told him whatever sins came to my mind, basically the same sins as always, the priest seemed to be in a hurry to end my confession. I was about to ask for advise while thinking about more sins but he grabbed my head and absolved me of my sins and then left! I had my sins written on my iPhone but felt uneasy taking my phone out since this priest was in a hurry. I’m thankful that he took my confession because it appears that Mondays are a busy day for all priests in all the churches in that city but it’s kind of hard to do a real confession in that manner.

I guess I’ll continue with my prayers and will take the Eucharist every time I go to church.

Thanks for your advise

That’s sad that it was such a struggle to find Confession for you! I attend a parish with the Latin Mass that has Confessions offered before every single Mass, and there is Mass twice a day each weekday. I wish it was like that everywhere. I know often it’s hard to find Confession.

The Church teaches if you have a mortal sin, you must confess it before you receive Communion, but if you have a venial sin, you are not obligated to confess it, but it’s still a good idea to. So don’t feel like you shouldn’t confess this if it’s venial (I actually don’t really know if it’s venial or mortal, sorry! something to ask a priest I guess…). You could still go to Confession and say this frequent Confession helps us to overcome sin and gives many graces. I hear Pope St John Paul II went daily?

God bless you!

 

[Gabbanelli911]

Thanks for your response Monica. I’ve been planning on confessing more often but work and other things have been getting in the way. I know, it sounds like excuses, and they are, but my priest has been busy and then he became sick. So, I had to look elsewhere.

I’ve tried adoration before but for some reason I can’t concentrate and instead, I start criticizing the people who attend. I work for law enforcement in my city and I when I have attended adoration I see some of the people who behave in a bad way praying at adoration and just have bad thoughts about them. Maybe I should attend adoration at a different city??? Or maybe I should change my job!!! Or maybe I should become a better person and less judgmental right?

 

[tawny]

Well, I had Monday (yesterday) off and I went to confession in the morning and then I attended Monday evening mass because I craved Christ’s body (or communion? Don’t know what the proper way to say it in English when you take the Eucharist). All day Monday I was feeling pretty good and had a very good day with my family. I then woke up Tuesday morning before my family and prayed the rosary, then I went to work.

All day at work I was feeling good and was thinking about God and was even humming some Christian songs that I know. I then came home from work at 4pm (today). I then said something sarcastic to my wife and then she became upset and then I became upset and that was it, my moment of enlightment was immediately over. I then said sorry to my wife but she is still upset, because I always do the same things.

My last confession, previous to yesterday’s, was in February during the beginning of the week and right after confession the same thing happened, that’s why I didn’t participate in the Eucharist during that time, even though I attended mass the following Sunday. Why is life so hard? I try to be good with my family but I have no patience, and it seems that I’m getting worse. What’s wrong with me? Please prey for me, that I become a more patient man and more loving to my wife and daughter.

Praying for your intentions.

 

[EasterJoy]

Thanks for your reply and your catechism quotes. I kind of understand what venial sin is but I still feel like a hypocrite when I take communion knowing that I’m not that great of a husband and father. My parish priest is very good and every time I have confession with him, he takes his time to listen and gives great advice, but this time he was unavailable. He has been sick for about 3 weeks and he had surgery on Monday.

I live in a border town so I went to Mexico for confession. I went to four different churches and no priest wanted to take my confession because “they don’t take confessions on Mondays!” Finally I found a church with a priest willing to take my confession. When confession started, I was gathering my thoughts, thinking about my sins when the priest asked me in a hurried voice, What are your sins? I kind of lost my thoughts and told him whatever sins came to my mind, basically the same sins as always, the priest seemed to be in a hurry to end my confession. I was about to ask for advise while thinking about more sins but he grabbed my head and absolved me of my sins and then left! I had my sins written on my iPhone but felt uneasy taking my phone out since this priest was in a hurry. I’m thankful that he took my confession because it appears that Mondays are a busy day for all priests in all the churches in that city but it’s kind of hard to do a real confession in that manner.

I guess I’ll continue with my prayers and will take the Eucharist every time I go to church.

Thanks for your advise

Your concern is very understandable. After St. Peter saw the miracle of the great catch, he said: “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:8) When we comprehend what the Eucharist is, our first impulse is to refuse to put ourselves forward for such a great encounter.

Having said that, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is the very sacrifice of the Cross, offered to take away our sins. We do not offer Christ to the Father as sinless persons. No, Christ offers himself to the Father as the Sinless Victim who covers our sins, presenting us to God hidden in himself and his own infinite perfection. That is why Holy Communion wipes away venial sins–it is because we, coming to Christ, put ourselves within his hands to cleanse us and and join us to his one great offering to God. Only when our sins are grave must we confess them sacramentally. Otherwise, the penitential rite and our attitude throughout the Mass are our way of giving our sins up for true atonement before God. We confess less serious sins sacramentally because it is a means by which they are even more accessible to the hand of our great physician.

None of us has any perfection or righteousness to offer to God. No, we must go to God as beggars, and humble ourselves to allow Christ to offer us under the cover of His Holy Sacrifice, which alone makes us acceptable before God. From that work, it becomes possible to do the work of making us into saints. To go to Mass, to receive the Lord’s healing presence in the Eucharist and to accept his forgiveness both in holy communion and in confession are the ways we allow God to make this change in us. By God’s Providence, he allows this to be a slow process, in order that we may offer our cooperation, gradually becoming more and more free to do the will of God because we are more and more dependent on grace and more and more submissive to the Holy Spirit.

That is a long road, and excepting Our Lady, every saint has had to travel from the glamour of sin to the beauty of virtue. Do not allow the evil one to discourage you by lying to you about what is required to make a saint of you! It will not be your doing! No, it will be your willingness to accept the humble position of learning how incapable you are of doing a single good thing or going through a single day without the help of grace.

Hang in there, and do not beat yourself up. Rather, realize that God is “easy to please, but impossible to satisfy.” Let that teach you about what sort of fatherly love to show to your children. Do not despair in God’s ability to make you into a saint. Stay in there, and give God every opportunity, including frequenting the sacraments, prayer, repentance after every fall, and penance for your own sins and all of us like you. God will get you there; have no fear!

 

[EasterJoy]

Thanks for your response Monica. I’ve been planning on confessing more often but work and other things have been getting in the way. I know, it sounds like excuses, and they are, but my priest has been busy and then he became sick. So, I had to look elsewhere.

I’ve tried adoration before but for some reason I can’t concentrate and instead, I start criticizing the people who attend. I work for law enforcement in my city and I when I have attended adoration I see some of the people who behave in a bad way praying at adoration and just have bad thoughts about them. Maybe I should attend adoration at a different city??? Or maybe I should change my job!!! Or maybe I should become a better person and less judgmental right?

Those who say they are forgiving often find how wrong they are when they are confronted with unrepented evil day after day. Do not think you are worse because your job confronts you with how much forgiveness the world needs and how many offenses assault heaven on a daily basis. You are not worse than we are. You just know better because you are confronted daily with how much forgiveness is required of all of us.

I was helped by a meditation that Christ thirsts for every soul. That is why he died on the Cross and said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Even someone terrible enough to mock him while he was undergoing a terrible murder was someone he thirsted to have as a part of himself. That is how great the love of God is! He did not excuse the sin in forgiving those who commit sin, but sought to free the sinners from the death of sin.

You have been thrown into the deep end of the pool, but God can help you. Do not give up, and do not beat yourself up. Pray for the people who have no conscience, who are totally sold to the devil, that they may be redeemed one day. You know it does happen. You are the hand of justice, not only one who protects the innocent, but one that wakes people in sin to what they are doing. God does not just want them to be kept from the innocent. He wants them each to know his love and become saints. If no one ever stops them and says, “You are on the wrong road. People deserve better than this, and you deserve to be a better person,” how will they ever come to repent? If you do not draw them up short, how many will die without ever contemplating what they’ve let themselves become? So you see, you serve not just those who are innocent, but those who are guilty, too.

If you begin to pray for the criminals you take off of the streets each day, as Christ did and as St. Stephen did, that may help you go a bit easier on yourself. The measure with which we measure will be measured out to us. Stay with your job, and do not be discouraged. You may, however, want the support of a spiritual director. You have great opportunities by having been “thrown into the deep end” of law enforcement and parenthood. Your spiritual battles are on a high level, though! Do not try to win them without someone to guide you. The athletes at the highest level do not have fewer coaches, but more of them, and more expert ones. Seek that out for yourself. Your pastor can probably help you find someone, and may even be willing to meet you monthly himself.

 

[ajecphotos]

You know, i keep committing the same sin all the time and i confess it all the time! Its not a serious sin but i always seem to repeat this one over and over again! I know it is the devil that is doing this.

Thing is, he wont beat me! I am trying really hard to beat him.

I am so grateful that confession is there. Pray. Pray and ask for strength, guidance and true love of God. We can beat the devil. Dont let him win. Just try as hard as you can to avoid this sin. I am.

God bless you

 

[otjm]

Well, I had Monday (yesterday) off and I went to confession in the morning and then I attended Monday evening mass because I craved Christ’s body (or communion? Don’t know what the proper way to say it in English when you take the Eucharist). All day Monday I was feeling pretty good and had a very good day with my family. I then woke up Tuesday morning before my family and prayed the rosary, then I went to work.

All day at work I was feeling good and was thinking about God and was even humming some Christian songs that I know. I then came home from work at 4pm (today). I then said something sarcastic to my wife and then she became upset and then I became upset and that was it, my moment of enlightment was immediately over. I then said sorry to my wife but she is still upset, because I always do the same things.

My last confession, previous to yesterday’s, was in February during the beginning of the week and right after confession the same thing happened, that’s why I didn’t participate in the Eucharist during that time, even though I attended mass the following Sunday. Why is life so hard? I try to be good with my family but I have no patience, and it seems that I’m getting worse. What’s wrong with me? Please prey for me, that I become a more patient man and more loving to my wife and daughter.

You might consider getting some counseling as to why you do what you do.

Note - that is not the same as going to confession, and confession is not the place to ask for counseling.