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Scott_Lafrance
Guest
Maybe he just needs a sabbatical to a nice mountainside monastary to renew his spirit.
SDA2RC:
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mercygate
Guest
Public? No names, no addresses, no nuthin.’ This kind of forum is as close to anonymous as you can get.
Yes. Pray for this guy.
Let him know how he made you feel.
Document the “catholicity” of your educational resources.
AND
Report him appropriately to his immediate superior. Even if they decide that this is not an event that requires intervention, you will have started documenting behavior which needs to be documented.
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Sir_Knight
Guest
Be sure to tell the Bishop that you are leaving the parish because of this priest. Throw in there somewhere that you thought that the job of a priest was to shepard and nuture the flock and not drive them away.
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puzzleannie
Guest
In our parish you, along with other homestudy parents who meet in our parish school building for their support group every week, would be invited to send you children to CCD on Saturday, participate in the Family Religion Program on Sunday, or homestudy. If you chose the 3rd option I would invite you to an orientation on the textbook and materials, give you a used book or ask you to pay for a new one, make arrangements for reviewing your child’s progress 3-4 times during the school year, and ask you to attend the parent-child sessions (3 for first penance, 5 for first communion) and the Jesus Day retreat the Saturday after Easter. You would schedule your child’s first communion for any Sunday of Easter, (after penance of course) when you, the child, and I agree the child is ready. Assuming your child is already 7, you could finish preparation in one year, if like many homeschoolers, you teach year-round.
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thann
Guest
Considering that this priest must be at least 73 years old (assuming about 28 years old at ordination plus 45 years as a priest), he may be suffering dementia or some other psychological or physical ailment. His reaction is certainly not normal, and he needs to be assessed professionally.
He is potentially a danger not only to others but to himself, as well.
I believe that the Christian thing to do is bring the matter attention to your bishop in a loving, concerned way, stating only the facts, avoiding any emotional comments.
And, above all, pray for this man.
'thann
He is potentially a danger not only to others but to himself, as well.
I believe that the Christian thing to do is bring the matter attention to your bishop in a loving, concerned way, stating only the facts, avoiding any emotional comments.
And, above all, pray for this man.
'thann
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misericordie
Guest
When I read this today, I was so happy that you decided to take courage and not fold before the situation in a false type of charity. What you hee post is the best news I have recieved. Yes, here in my Archdiocese of New York the “Safe Environment” program too is very serious about ANY!!! priest, brother, nun, parish worker etc. using ANY TYPE of profanity, around any MINOR. It is taken very seriously!! Contact the “Safe Environment” office of your diocese and let the Bishop too know you will be doing this and for what reasons. Keep records and copies of all they send you, all they say, write it down with dates and times it was said etc, and by WHO. Remember, only ON PAPER do things have any legal value! The wind takes words.
I don’t care if the priest is 99 years old, he still should and must be held accountable for his position, one of authority and priests ARE public figures. The days when they were seen as never doing anything wrong are OVER.
Again, work with the Bishop and the Safe Environment office, and yes, stay with the new parish, the priests there acording to what you write at least are NORMAL psychologically.
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cove
Guest
I second this suggestion.
This priest may suffer from “mini” strokes. My father suffered from this in his later years and had alot of trouble with controling his anger. He showed signs of being irrational and irritable. My husbands uncle, also, has this problem and does not talk to his family anymore because he accuses them of delusional family conspiricies against him.
I just suggest you give this man the benefit of the doubt. His behaviour sounds very irrational to me and I am concerned about his health. His superiors should be made aware.
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Fitz
Guest
Congrats! You nade the right choice. I think the priest may be suffering from something medical, but cerainly he should not be around children or people. He needs our prayers and help from his superiors. Your alert to your bishop will be a blessing to this priest really before he gets worse. God Bless you and your family. This is never easy.
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springbreeze
Guest
Dear friend
I am so very sorry you and your family have had to endure this experience. This is as you know not normal behaviour for anyone. Your Priest is human and just as open to being short-tempered and irrational as anyone else, still this doesn’t excuse his behaviour towards your family and yourself.
The first thing to do is to speak directly to the Priest and give him the opportunity to apologise himself before the matter goes any further. If you decline to discuss his behaviour with him and go directly to the Bishop, the Bishop may ask why. Is there another Priest or Deacon at your Parish whom you could discuss this with prior to writing to your Bishop?
The proper chain of complaint must be carried out first, unless you complained at the time when he bahaved this way, you must first give him the opportunity to rectify his behaviour and apologise before you take any further action.
The Parish, dear friend, is the people not the Priest, you feel forced to leave your Parish Community because of the Priest and this is not the proper way of things. Priests move on the Parish doesn’t, it is a community the Priest serves and as such you should remain in your Parish and address those issues within it, namely, the Priests behaviour.
If this is not an isolated incident then there will be other complaints, you can guarantee. You must see this through and reach a satifactory outcome for yourself and for the Priest.
I hope you will be able to forgive the Priest.
You all remain in my prayers for the courage to address this and for peace.
God bless you and much love and peace to you
Teresa
I am so very sorry you and your family have had to endure this experience. This is as you know not normal behaviour for anyone. Your Priest is human and just as open to being short-tempered and irrational as anyone else, still this doesn’t excuse his behaviour towards your family and yourself.
The first thing to do is to speak directly to the Priest and give him the opportunity to apologise himself before the matter goes any further. If you decline to discuss his behaviour with him and go directly to the Bishop, the Bishop may ask why. Is there another Priest or Deacon at your Parish whom you could discuss this with prior to writing to your Bishop?
The proper chain of complaint must be carried out first, unless you complained at the time when he bahaved this way, you must first give him the opportunity to rectify his behaviour and apologise before you take any further action.
The Parish, dear friend, is the people not the Priest, you feel forced to leave your Parish Community because of the Priest and this is not the proper way of things. Priests move on the Parish doesn’t, it is a community the Priest serves and as such you should remain in your Parish and address those issues within it, namely, the Priests behaviour.
If this is not an isolated incident then there will be other complaints, you can guarantee. You must see this through and reach a satifactory outcome for yourself and for the Priest.
I hope you will be able to forgive the Priest.
You all remain in my prayers for the courage to address this and for peace.
God bless you and much love and peace to you
Teresa
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bear06
Guest
I think that you should go back to the troubled priest and let him know why you are leaving. Without his knowledge, and this is perfectly legal as long as it’s not over the phone, tape the conversation to give to your bishop. More than likely it’ll be more of the same.
I think bishops are bombarded with claims all of the time and they really don’t know which ones to believe and which ones not to believe. If this priest has this much of a lack of self control in this area, can you imagine where he could be in other areas. Some poor soul could come into his office needing help and he could pull the same stuff he pulled on you or he could do worse.
Not taped, it’s just your word against his. The bishop should really know about the volatility of this man. Just let the bishop know that you are not trying to be disrespectful in anyway but you are really concerned about this priest and his impact on the other parishioners.
I think bishops are bombarded with claims all of the time and they really don’t know which ones to believe and which ones not to believe. If this priest has this much of a lack of self control in this area, can you imagine where he could be in other areas. Some poor soul could come into his office needing help and he could pull the same stuff he pulled on you or he could do worse.
Not taped, it’s just your word against his. The bishop should really know about the volatility of this man. Just let the bishop know that you are not trying to be disrespectful in anyway but you are really concerned about this priest and his impact on the other parishioners.
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ThyKingdomCome
Guest
Perhaps you’ve already acted on this by now, but…As far as going to the priest first:
I don’t think that is necessary in this case because of the extremity of his actions toward you and your family. First, he already knows this was not the appropriate way to speak to you. He doesn’t need you to tell him that.
Second, going to him is just opening the door for another episode of the same kind. His behavior sounds really unstable. Who knows if he has a violent streak as well? I, for one, wouldn’t want to find out. Also, considering that he may have a deeper problem, I wouldn’t want to just inflame him again with nothing to gain (even for his sake).
Third, even if you did go to him, and he did apologize, I’d still advise you to go to the bishop with this information. The fact that he is repentant doesn’t mean that he isn’t likely to inflict this kind of verbal abuse on another parishoner or child. While the offense against you and your family is terrible, the greater problem is that this person may be behaving this way to other children and adults. An apology to you doesn’t address the greater problem.
The chain of command that is usually recommended is more useful when there is either miscommunication or a likelihood of the problem being solved at that level. Neither of those is the case.
God Bless,
TKC
I don’t think that is necessary in this case because of the extremity of his actions toward you and your family. First, he already knows this was not the appropriate way to speak to you. He doesn’t need you to tell him that.
Second, going to him is just opening the door for another episode of the same kind. His behavior sounds really unstable. Who knows if he has a violent streak as well? I, for one, wouldn’t want to find out. Also, considering that he may have a deeper problem, I wouldn’t want to just inflame him again with nothing to gain (even for his sake).
Third, even if you did go to him, and he did apologize, I’d still advise you to go to the bishop with this information. The fact that he is repentant doesn’t mean that he isn’t likely to inflict this kind of verbal abuse on another parishoner or child. While the offense against you and your family is terrible, the greater problem is that this person may be behaving this way to other children and adults. An apology to you doesn’t address the greater problem.
The chain of command that is usually recommended is more useful when there is either miscommunication or a likelihood of the problem being solved at that level. Neither of those is the case.
God Bless,
TKC
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Sir_Knight
Guest
Then presenting a tape of another episode to the Bishop would be EXTREMELY beneficial, I would think.
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SDA2RC
Guest
Sir Knight:
I am a little hesitant to tape him just because we have already registered at another diocese and I am afraid that it would appear that I was going back just to “incriminate” him… which is not my purpose. Does that make sense?
Brandon
Hmmm… I could be the Linda Tripp of our diocese? LOL
I am a little hesitant to tape him just because we have already registered at another diocese and I am afraid that it would appear that I was going back just to “incriminate” him… which is not my purpose. Does that make sense?Brandon
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Sir_Knight
Guest
It isn’t a matter of “incriminate” him. He will do that himself. It’s a matter of fulfilling your duty in alerting the Bishop of exactly what is going on in his diocese before something worse happens.
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ThyKingdomCome
Guest
While taping him would be an effective way to present a realistic account of the situation, I wonder if the Bishop would take kindly to that kind of deception without him knowing about it. I suppose I would talk to the Bishop and get some feedback first, before resorting to that. After all, you do want to go the Bishop in charity and don’t want to appear to be over-zealous about your gripe.
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bear06
Guest
What’s deceptive? If the priest doesn’t want to get caught doing something inappropriate, then he shouldn’t be doing it. I know this type of “spy-work” isn’t for everyone. That said, I realize that we’re not all called to the same thing. I’ll just let you know that this is the fastest way to get things cleaned up in a diocese. Video, audio and stills moved mountains in my diocese. Just the thought that you have this on tape will mean that action will probably be taken even if it’s only the bishop telling the priest that he should watch it! You don’t have to do anything other than present this priest’s further bad behavior to the bishop. Trust me, you will not be the only one who will receive this priest’s wrath. Just think of all of those poor souls who will get this treatment in the future if nobody ever takes him on. Good luck!
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