"Bad" Godparents, What should I do?

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I have come to realize that the Godparents we chose for our second son are not exactly, (how do I put this?) good Catholics. We chose them in a pinch, and now I regret it. I have come to find out more and more about their spiritual lives recently and my son’s Godmother even told me that she even doubts the existence of God!!!:confused: (She converted to Catholicism from a Protestant denomination before they were married.) They rarely attend Mass, from what I can tell (they are also our neighbors but are members of another parish).

I don’t mean to judge, however, I feel horrible that my son has “Bad” Godparents. Is there anything I can/should do??? Of course, I am praying for her and her husband (his Godfather, who is an even worse example). We made a big mistake. What else can I do? What do I do now?!?!?!
 
ProLifeMom said:
I have come to realize that the Godparents we chose for our second son are not exactly, (how do I put this?) good Catholics. We chose them in a pinch, and now I regret it. I have come to find out more and more about their spiritual lives recently and my son’s Godmother even told me that she even doubts the existence of God!!!:confused: (She converted to Catholicism from a Protestant denomination before they were married.) They rarely attend Mass, from what I can tell (they are also our neighbors but are members of another parish).

I don’t mean to judge, however, I feel horrible that my son has “Bad” Godparents. Is there anything I can/should do??? Of course, I am praying for her and her husband (his Godfather, who is an even worse example). We made a big mistake. What else can I do? What do I do now?!?!?!
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You really can not do anything about this. It is something that is indellible, like the priesthood.
They don’t have to be perfect, just as priests do not. Nor popes have to be.
They must have intention to preform their duties.
Apparently, you felt they had intention to preform the duty to honor them with this serious title and designation. Now, you have regrets.
You designated them to this role in your child’s life.
 
Yeah, nothing you can do about the title. But, if there is are replacement godparents who once you explain the situation and ask them to take on the role as if they were, that is ok. Godparents are no substitute for your role as parents though in bringing up your children to be knowledgeable in the faith, spiritual, etc.
 
Simply have other good Catholics involved with your son’s life.
 
ProLifeMom said:
I have come to realize that the Godparents we chose for our second son are not exactly, (how do I put this?) good Catholics. We chose them in a pinch, and now I regret it. I have come to find out more and more about their spiritual lives recently and my son’s Godmother even told me that she even doubts the existence of God!!!:confused: (She converted to Catholicism from a Protestant denomination before they were married.) They rarely attend Mass, from what I can tell (they are also our neighbors but are members of another parish).

I don’t mean to judge, however, I feel horrible that my son has “Bad” Godparents. Is there anything I can/should do??? Of course, I am praying for her and her husband (his Godfather, who is an even worse example). We made a big mistake. What else can I do? What do I do now?!?!?!
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I am not sure that I understand the situation. If they already served in their role as godparents there is nothing you can change. You can only add them to your prayers. If they still have to serve in that role, you can and should tell them that you became aware of the complete requirements of the Church and that they do not fulfill those requirements thus the priest would not allow them to serve.
 
Cristiano said:
I am not sure that I understand the situation. If they already served in their role as godparents there is nothing you can change. You can only add them to your prayers. If they still have to serve in that role, you can and should tell them that you became aware of the complete requirements of the Church and that they do not fulfill those requirements thus the priest would not allow them to serve.
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Yes, they have “served” their role as Godparents if by that you mean they stood there and watched him be Baptized. He is nearly 2 years old now. It is my understanding that Godparents have an on going role to play in the lives of their Godchildren which involves making sure they are brought up in the Faith, taken to Mass, receive the proper religious education, etc. 🤷

I understand the the title of God-mother or God-father isn’t legally binding unless it is written into a will. I just wondered if anyone had any similar circumstances or had ever heard of someone changing Godparents after the Baptism. If it cannot be done, it cannot be done. If it could be done, then that would be a whole new dilemma, then wouldn’t it? 😉

I think I am mostly upset with myself for making a poor decision. 😦

Thanks everyone for your responses.
 
ProLifeMom said:
I understand the the title of God-mother or God-father isn’t legally binding unless it is written into a will. I just wondered if anyone had any similar circumstances or had ever heard of someone changing Godparents after the Baptism. If it cannot be done, it cannot be done. If it could be done, then that would be a whole new dilemma, then wouldn’t it? 😉

I think I am mostly upset with myself for making a poor decision. 😦

Thanks everyone for your responses.
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Socially you can do whatever you want. You could ask two other people to step in as “honorary Godparents.”
 
I’m sorry this situation has come up for you!! It’s never nice when people turn out to be something that you thought they were not.

I’m in my early twenties and my parents moved me away from my Godparents so I never felt like I had any, and I don’t feel that I missed out on anything by not having them around. Perhaps this will offer you some comfort to know that as your son grows he may feel the same, perhaps just keeping him away from them would be best.

Also, you must remember that when he takes his confirmation he will get to choose a sponser so that is like having another Godparent!! Maybe you should start holding interviews now!! 🙂 xx
 
FullOfThought said:
I’m sorry this situation has come up for you!! It’s never nice when people turn out to be something that you thought they were not.

I’m in my early twenties and my parents moved me away from my Godparents so I never felt like I had any, and I don’t feel that I missed out on anything by not having them around. Perhaps this will offer you some comfort to know that as your son grows he may feel the same, perhaps just keeping him away from them would be best.

Also, you must remember that when he takes his confirmation he will get to choose a sponser so that is like having another Godparent!! Maybe you should start holding interviews now!! 🙂 xx
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Ah…yes. I hadn’t thought of Confirmation yet. You are right…hopefully we can even it out with a good sponsor! Thank you!🙂
 
We had the same thing happen to one of our grandsons. His Godparents became very excommunicated. My son was at his wits end. So we volunteered to become his “step God parents”. The boy no longer feels left out.
 
Pro Life Mom – you said that “It is my understanding that Godparents have an on going role to play in the lives of their Godchildren which involves making sure they are brought up in the Faith, taken to Mass, receive the proper religious education, etc.”

Well you can as parents perform those function in his life. And you can do what the others said but I would recommend you talk to y our priest about this also. His suggestions, directions, might give you some peace also.

God Bless You!
 
you find other good practicing Catholic friends and relatives and make them part of your family life and an influence for your child. When the time comes you help him choose a new confirmation sponsor who fills the bill. No you cannot change what happened in the past, those people are the godparents, the ones who witnessed and took part in the baptism and you can’t change history.
 
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