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PumpkinPies37
Guest
Yes. Not all mothers are good. Some are very cruel. Quit shaming our OP.
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PumpkinPies37
Guest
Quit shaming the OP. Not all mothers are good. Some mothers are actually very cruel. Is there a rule that says that everyone has to be complimentary of their parents on the CA forums?i don’t think you do, if you did you would stop posting insults about your mother
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PumpkinPies37
Guest
Yes, my thoughts exactly.
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Aggie414
Guest
While I agree with you, you also have to eventually decide to overcome your childhood – and yes, I know what I speak of – and quit setting yourself up to be disappointed. If the OP keeps requesting things that she knows her mother cannot for whatever reason fulfill, she’s going to continue opening up old wounds.
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Xantippe
Guest
How about creating a somewhat artificial deadline? One of the problems with this project so far is that there’s no deadline.
Tell your mom that your son REALLY wants the chaps and that you’ve decided that will be his Christmas gift. Tell her that this is really important to both him and you, and that if she gets it done by Thanksgiving, it can be her Christmas gift to him, but that if it isn’t done by Thanksgiving, you want to take over and it can be your Christmas gift to him. That gives her nearly a full month and gives you nearly a full month, too, if she doesn’t manage.
Don’t be blame-y, just point out that your priority is getting the project done by Christmas, and that it’s not important who does it.
Good luck!
Tell your mom that your son REALLY wants the chaps and that you’ve decided that will be his Christmas gift. Tell her that this is really important to both him and you, and that if she gets it done by Thanksgiving, it can be her Christmas gift to him, but that if it isn’t done by Thanksgiving, you want to take over and it can be your Christmas gift to him. That gives her nearly a full month and gives you nearly a full month, too, if she doesn’t manage.
Don’t be blame-y, just point out that your priority is getting the project done by Christmas, and that it’s not important who does it.
Good luck!
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Mrs_Sally
Guest
This post doesn’t make the first one any better. You see the same failing in yourself and you still can’t find it in you to be charitable and forgiving toward your own mom!
When your son first asked for them, you should have cut them out of an old pair of his own pants. It has been almost a year, and by being crabby with your mom, you have made your son wait. As another poster said, he may not even be interested any more.
If he is, invite your mom over, have all the stuff ready and make a western outfit for his halloween costume TOGETHER. And then be done with it.
Don’t put your mom in this situation again- be as generous with her as you are with yourself to say " No, I just don’t feel like it." Especially don’t teach your children to resent Granmma because you’ve asked her to do something you could well do yourself and she’s not gotten to it.
Pray for diligence for yourself and for grace for your mom. Those are my prayers for myself as well.
When your son first asked for them, you should have cut them out of an old pair of his own pants. It has been almost a year, and by being crabby with your mom, you have made your son wait. As another poster said, he may not even be interested any more.
If he is, invite your mom over, have all the stuff ready and make a western outfit for his halloween costume TOGETHER. And then be done with it.
Don’t put your mom in this situation again- be as generous with her as you are with yourself to say " No, I just don’t feel like it." Especially don’t teach your children to resent Granmma because you’ve asked her to do something you could well do yourself and she’s not gotten to it.
Pray for diligence for yourself and for grace for your mom. Those are my prayers for myself as well.
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Mrs_Sally
Guest
Just because your mother doesn’t make costumes, doesn’t mean she’s not a good grandma. There is much more to being a grnadma than that. Also, she may live a liong life and be a grandma that your children love to be with when they are older and your MIL isn’t as adept at being with them.
Finally, just beause a person doesn’t thrive during the baby and young child stages, doesn’t mean they aren’t a good parent or didn’t really want their children. You are really struggling with something, and it has nothing to do with your mother sewing costumes.
Please learn to appreciate the things your mother does do and look forward to her relationship with yor children improving as they get older and more interested in the “grown-up” things she likes. After all, couture dresses and chaps are not at all the same thing!
Finally, just beause a person doesn’t thrive during the baby and young child stages, doesn’t mean they aren’t a good parent or didn’t really want their children. You are really struggling with something, and it has nothing to do with your mother sewing costumes.
Please learn to appreciate the things your mother does do and look forward to her relationship with yor children improving as they get older and more interested in the “grown-up” things she likes. After all, couture dresses and chaps are not at all the same thing!
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JLCecilia
Guest
Mrs. Sally, yes, the last time mom and dad came to visit, I got everything out and was ready for her and I would have been willing to try and help, but she conveniently forget to bring the material and made every effort to ‘busy’ herself and avoid it.
Oh well, she overnighted the fabric to me and I got them done that very day. Since I had the next day off/3-day weekend, I worked on them while the kids watched a movie. Now DS’s bugging me for the vest. I suppose once I finish my other son’s saint’s day costume, I shall get to it. He is so excited to finally have them and wearing them non-stop. I pretty darn proud at how they turned out.
Every time DS asked me why doesn’t gramma make 'em already, it was very difficult, but very important to me not to let on my frustration, and I even had to be careful griping to my GF over the phone so DS didn’t hear me. I have no doubt if he asked my dad the same question that he’d be as guarded - oh well, he can be that way with his wife.
It is only by the grace of God that I’ve been able to get all of this done. I knew I would be very busy with a new baby and keeping up on my other 3 and all of my chores, but somehow it’s all come together.
Oh well, she overnighted the fabric to me and I got them done that very day. Since I had the next day off/3-day weekend, I worked on them while the kids watched a movie. Now DS’s bugging me for the vest. I suppose once I finish my other son’s saint’s day costume, I shall get to it. He is so excited to finally have them and wearing them non-stop. I pretty darn proud at how they turned out.
Every time DS asked me why doesn’t gramma make 'em already, it was very difficult, but very important to me not to let on my frustration, and I even had to be careful griping to my GF over the phone so DS didn’t hear me. I have no doubt if he asked my dad the same question that he’d be as guarded - oh well, he can be that way with his wife.
It is only by the grace of God that I’ve been able to get all of this done. I knew I would be very busy with a new baby and keeping up on my other 3 and all of my chores, but somehow it’s all come together.
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maryjk
Guest
JLCecilia,
This reminds me of a part of a movie, Sweet Liberty. It was made back in '86 and stars a 50 year old Alan Alda.
In the movie, his mother, played by Lillian Gish, is kind of crazy. Tin foil hat, crazy.
At one point in the movie, Alda gets upset at Gish. She is talking about putting food on the TV, to clean it. (I don’t remember what she thinks is wrong with the food. Just that it has to sit on top of the TV for a couple of days before she can eat it.)
Alda’s girlfriend asks how long his mom has been, well, nuts. “All of my life,” is his answer. His girlfriend then asks, “Why do you expect her to be different?”
JLCecilia, your mother has been like this all of your life. Why do you expect her to be different?
This reminds me of a part of a movie, Sweet Liberty. It was made back in '86 and stars a 50 year old Alan Alda.
In the movie, his mother, played by Lillian Gish, is kind of crazy. Tin foil hat, crazy.
At one point in the movie, Alda gets upset at Gish. She is talking about putting food on the TV, to clean it. (I don’t remember what she thinks is wrong with the food. Just that it has to sit on top of the TV for a couple of days before she can eat it.)
Alda’s girlfriend asks how long his mom has been, well, nuts. “All of my life,” is his answer. His girlfriend then asks, “Why do you expect her to be different?”
JLCecilia, your mother has been like this all of your life. Why do you expect her to be different?
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JLCecilia
Guest
maryjk, not all my life. I still have the costume she made for me in high school for a one act play. It is very beautifully detailed and still fun to wear even now. Think midieval gown with gold-lined billowing sleeves and lace-up corsette bodice. She worked day and night on that thing for 3 whole days, up till the wee hours of the morn, to get that thing done. She made a hand-made doll for my sister’s little girl, almost identical to the one she made her momma when she was little. We’re talking needlepoint embroidered features and handmade doll clothes. She handmade doll clothes for my cabbage patch baby when I was little. In recent years, she’s handmade Christmas stockings for our little family and hand embroidered our names on each one. Just like HER mother knitted a stocking for each of OUR family growing up.
She is quite a capable seamstress. Even though she kept me at arm’s length growing up, she NEVER turned down a project. It’s really hit or miss, guess I just got the short straw this time. Time to start carrying my own weight and stop relying on chance. I underestimated myself and overestimated her.
She is quite a capable seamstress. Even though she kept me at arm’s length growing up, she NEVER turned down a project. It’s really hit or miss, guess I just got the short straw this time. Time to start carrying my own weight and stop relying on chance. I underestimated myself and overestimated her.
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Mrs_Sally
Guest
Wonderful! Congratulations!! It’s such a great feeling to get a dreaded project completed and especially when you end up doing a good job!
I’m glad that my son’s halloween costumes now consist of weird hats mostly! Although he doesn’t theater at his high school so there have been a few odd things to make over the past few years.
I’m glad that my son’s halloween costumes now consist of weird hats mostly! Although he doesn’t theater at his high school so there have been a few odd things to make over the past few years.
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maryjk
Guest
Okay, maybe not all of your life. But enough of it that you posted this:
My MIL is a *itch. Really. She has no friends. She puts puts down everyone she meets. No one can stand being around her. Heck even her own sisters cringe when she walks into a room.
My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. His mother and I have never gotten along, although I did try to put up with her. About 5 years ago, she stopped talking to my family. I could have let it bother me. I mean, come on. She is my child’s grandmother. My husband’s mother. And we hadn’t done anything to her. But you know what? I don’t let it bother me. Why? Because she doesn’t deserve that much of my thoughts. Yes, I pray for her. Yes, I wish she was different. But at 70+, she isn’t going to change. So why should I expect her to?
and this:
So, stop it. Stop allowing her to hold so much over you.
My MIL is a *itch. Really. She has no friends. She puts puts down everyone she meets. No one can stand being around her. Heck even her own sisters cringe when she walks into a room.
My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. His mother and I have never gotten along, although I did try to put up with her. About 5 years ago, she stopped talking to my family. I could have let it bother me. I mean, come on. She is my child’s grandmother. My husband’s mother. And we hadn’t done anything to her. But you know what? I don’t let it bother me. Why? Because she doesn’t deserve that much of my thoughts. Yes, I pray for her. Yes, I wish she was different. But at 70+, she isn’t going to change. So why should I expect her to?
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AbideWithMe
Guest
Good for you, to say this.
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JLCecilia
Guest
Took my babies to visit my folks this weekend and mom noticed oldest DS’s suit jacket sleeves are too short. She said, let me just take out this hem real quick and I’ll lengthen those sleeves for ya. I said ‘no.’ We both knew that she’d undo them, it’d be more than she bargained for and she’d have DS’s jacket indefinitely when the sleeves didn’t bother him in the first place. She said ‘I’ll work on it and have it in the mail to you tomorrow.’ Me: ‘no.’ Mom: ‘I’ll make a special trip out this week and I can see my girlfriend while I’m out.’ Me: ‘mmm.’ She was BEGGING to do this project. Oh well, she has enough to do just to find the Christmas stocking she’s supposed to embroider for our newest little one.
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Peggy_in_Burien
Guest
She may be incompetent, but give her credit for wanting to be a helpful grandma. I commend you and give you credit in how you handled it this time: you were firm, while polite. I trust that you thanked her for her wanting to be helpful. 
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Cat
Guest
Knowing that I didn’t have the money or time to make or buy the chaps, and that my mother didn’t have the mental or physical ability to carry the task through and make them, I would have just told my son, “No, sorry, honey, we don’t have time or money for chaps.” I would never have given him the idea that he will get his chaps.
Or I might have gone to a Dollar store and found a cheap cowboy Halloween costume. My mother always said, “It doesn’t take much to amuse a child.” Depending on how you gave him the cheap costume, he would have been thrilled with it. Of course, if you gave it to him with a lot of apologies over “bad gramma”, then he probably would have thrown a tantrum or started crying and saying things like, “This isn’t what I wanted.”
Or I might have cut up some brown wrapping paper and given him some glitter, glue, and crayons, and encouraged him to decorate his “chaps.” And then I would have taped them on him with duct tape and enjoyed watching him utterly destroy those beautiful homemade chaps.
The fact that nine months later, the little boy still wanted chaps makes it obvious that the same obsessive-compulsive behavior that YOU and your mother demonstrate has been passed on to your son. This should make you pause and do some serious thinking.
Do you realize that most little boys would have forgotten all about it within 24 hours? Probably within an hour, for most little boys.
Did you continue, over the last nine months, to tell him, “Honey, some sweet day gramma will actually get around to making the chaps.” Is THAT why a little boy actually remembered for nine months that he wants chaps–because you kept reminding him?
What I see throughout this thread in all your responses is obsessive-compulsive behavior that manifests itself with perfectionism. I see this in your mother, in you, and I’m sorry to say it, in your little boy.
Your little boy asks for chaps. Instead of just saying, “No,” you decide that “Yes, he needs chaps,” and they need to be homemade, not just some cheap costume or a “pretend” pair of chaps that you hobble together from a pair of his old slacks or some brown wrapping paper decorated with glitter and crayons.
But not only do you obsess over “perfect chaps,” you also have a obsession with what a “perfect grandmother” should be–over and over in this thread, you make that statement. In your mind, a “perfect grandmother” makes homemade costumes.
So you assign your mother the task–be a perfect grandma and make this pair of chaps, and then your little grandson will come running to you as you present them to him, and it will be a Kodak moment, all warm and fuzzy.
Most mothers would have said, “No, honey, I don’t have time or energy to make the chaps. I’ll give you a little money and you can buy him a costume. Or I’ll give you a little money and you can hire my seamstress friend down the street.”
But your mother is also a perfectionist. So she says, “Yes,” to you, because she knows that she is (or once was) capable of making the chaps. But she can’t get started on it because these chaps must be PERFECT. And this is so overwhelming to her that she can’t even bring herself to get started on the project.
And this grandmother-mother “duel” goes on for NINE MONTHS!
This is not normal behavior.
Most grandmothers would have apologized after a month or so, and said, “Listen, honey, I love my grandson, but I just can’t get these chaps done. I’ll tell you what, I’ll pay to have some made for him.”
And most mothers would have said, “Oh, Mom, don’t worry about it. He doesn’t even remember the chaps. Now he wants a Power Rangers costume, so I’m just going to go buy one at the Halloween store in August, or make a cheap one out of an old pair of pajamas.”
And most little boys would have forgotten all about the chaps, the power rangers, and pretty much everything else except the pleasures and play of the day!
Do you see how your behaviors aren’t normal?
Even your title of this thread shows a perfectionist tendency, Instead of just titling it something like “Need some advice over costume,” you use a title that requires your readers to connect with a movie (that most of us probably haven’t seen or heard of). You can’t just have a “normal” title. Instead, the title has to be “perfect.”
My suggestion to you is to end the cycle now. Go to a doctor and get some help. Don’t pass this on to your little boy. Do everything you can to help him, and yourself, to be free of perfectionism and OCD. It’s probably too late for your mother, but you can at least enjoy the years you have left together without continuing to torment her by starting wars about unrealistic perfectionist expectations.
Or I might have gone to a Dollar store and found a cheap cowboy Halloween costume. My mother always said, “It doesn’t take much to amuse a child.” Depending on how you gave him the cheap costume, he would have been thrilled with it. Of course, if you gave it to him with a lot of apologies over “bad gramma”, then he probably would have thrown a tantrum or started crying and saying things like, “This isn’t what I wanted.”
Or I might have cut up some brown wrapping paper and given him some glitter, glue, and crayons, and encouraged him to decorate his “chaps.” And then I would have taped them on him with duct tape and enjoyed watching him utterly destroy those beautiful homemade chaps.
The fact that nine months later, the little boy still wanted chaps makes it obvious that the same obsessive-compulsive behavior that YOU and your mother demonstrate has been passed on to your son. This should make you pause and do some serious thinking.
Do you realize that most little boys would have forgotten all about it within 24 hours? Probably within an hour, for most little boys.
Did you continue, over the last nine months, to tell him, “Honey, some sweet day gramma will actually get around to making the chaps.” Is THAT why a little boy actually remembered for nine months that he wants chaps–because you kept reminding him?
What I see throughout this thread in all your responses is obsessive-compulsive behavior that manifests itself with perfectionism. I see this in your mother, in you, and I’m sorry to say it, in your little boy.
Your little boy asks for chaps. Instead of just saying, “No,” you decide that “Yes, he needs chaps,” and they need to be homemade, not just some cheap costume or a “pretend” pair of chaps that you hobble together from a pair of his old slacks or some brown wrapping paper decorated with glitter and crayons.
But not only do you obsess over “perfect chaps,” you also have a obsession with what a “perfect grandmother” should be–over and over in this thread, you make that statement. In your mind, a “perfect grandmother” makes homemade costumes.
So you assign your mother the task–be a perfect grandma and make this pair of chaps, and then your little grandson will come running to you as you present them to him, and it will be a Kodak moment, all warm and fuzzy.
Most mothers would have said, “No, honey, I don’t have time or energy to make the chaps. I’ll give you a little money and you can buy him a costume. Or I’ll give you a little money and you can hire my seamstress friend down the street.”
But your mother is also a perfectionist. So she says, “Yes,” to you, because she knows that she is (or once was) capable of making the chaps. But she can’t get started on it because these chaps must be PERFECT. And this is so overwhelming to her that she can’t even bring herself to get started on the project.
And this grandmother-mother “duel” goes on for NINE MONTHS!
This is not normal behavior.
Most grandmothers would have apologized after a month or so, and said, “Listen, honey, I love my grandson, but I just can’t get these chaps done. I’ll tell you what, I’ll pay to have some made for him.”
And most mothers would have said, “Oh, Mom, don’t worry about it. He doesn’t even remember the chaps. Now he wants a Power Rangers costume, so I’m just going to go buy one at the Halloween store in August, or make a cheap one out of an old pair of pajamas.”
And most little boys would have forgotten all about the chaps, the power rangers, and pretty much everything else except the pleasures and play of the day!
Do you see how your behaviors aren’t normal?
Even your title of this thread shows a perfectionist tendency, Instead of just titling it something like “Need some advice over costume,” you use a title that requires your readers to connect with a movie (that most of us probably haven’t seen or heard of). You can’t just have a “normal” title. Instead, the title has to be “perfect.”
My suggestion to you is to end the cycle now. Go to a doctor and get some help. Don’t pass this on to your little boy. Do everything you can to help him, and yourself, to be free of perfectionism and OCD. It’s probably too late for your mother, but you can at least enjoy the years you have left together without continuing to torment her by starting wars about unrealistic perfectionist expectations.
J
JLCecilia
Guest
Well, the good thing is that he wears those chaps EVERY chance he gets, so it was worth all the hassle. Cat, reading over your post, I can say some of your suggestions may have worked if he were 3 or 4yo, but not at 7. On the last 2 visits, gramma has given the kids money to buy a toy. It wasn’t much and I knew what they were getting was junk, but we had fun getting something anyway. Their toys broke by that same evening. I’m normally opposed to spending good money on stuff just for stuff’s sake, I honestly don’t have money to throw away like that. But DS was especially upset that his toys didn’t last. So I’m glad I didn’t go the cheap route on his chaps. As special as they are to him and he’s getting every last thread’s wear out of them, they were worth the wait and hassle. Believe me, I was honestly waiting for mom to offer to pay someone to make them as she has in the past.
Perfectionism in this area of my life means I don’t buy cheap junk just to get by and fill a want for now till something better comes along. I’ve done that for years on things around my home and it’s a waste of money and I get my hopes up thinking this ‘little’ purchase is gonna be a life changer. If I added up all the ‘little’ purchases that didn’t pan out, I could afford to buy the really good version that I wanted in the first place. That’s what I call nickle-and-diming myself to debt. Especially when it comes to kids’ stuff, I’m sick over how much stuff they get that breaks easily and gets pitched. We’ve bought the kids a few new things for Christmas, but mostly I’ve been buying second-hand online from locals b/c I know that our little Christmas at home will be dwarfed by the other 2 celebrations that follow.
Perfectionism in this area of my life means I don’t buy cheap junk just to get by and fill a want for now till something better comes along. I’ve done that for years on things around my home and it’s a waste of money and I get my hopes up thinking this ‘little’ purchase is gonna be a life changer. If I added up all the ‘little’ purchases that didn’t pan out, I could afford to buy the really good version that I wanted in the first place. That’s what I call nickle-and-diming myself to debt. Especially when it comes to kids’ stuff, I’m sick over how much stuff they get that breaks easily and gets pitched. We’ve bought the kids a few new things for Christmas, but mostly I’ve been buying second-hand online from locals b/c I know that our little Christmas at home will be dwarfed by the other 2 celebrations that follow.
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7armyrugrats
Guest
JLCecilia:
We’ve bought the kids a few new things for Christmas, but mostly I’ve been buying second-hand online from locals b/c I know that our little Christmas at home will be dwarfed by the other 2 celebrations that follow.
Why does this bother you and why do you allow it to bother your kids? Christmas is supposed to be glorious, not because of gifts but because of Jesus. And I don’t know what you mean by a little Christmas, but we tend to get our kids two needs (hats and gloves, scarf, coat, jeans, shoes, boots, church clothes,etc.) and one want (toy, book, art supplies,etc.). then we do one family gift such as a new video game or something like that and fruit/candy in stockings. They see how much more their friends and relatives tend to get and it does not bother them at all. I would never allow such habits and behavior in my kids. It isn’t Christian behavior at all.
As for buying cheap stuff that breaks, well that can easily be rectified by teaching your self and your kids that you must take care of whatever you are blessed enough to afford and have. And if something breaks you don’t cry over it, you either fix it or throw it out. Perfectionism and materialism go hand in hand and they destroy at the very core. I have been praying for your family and I will continue to do so. I believe that deep inside you is a desire to be a true saint and a good person. However the way you are going about it is going to end up destroying you and your family. If you start spending more time being thankful for all God has given you and less time on how much better you assume other people have it I think you will begin to understand the cycle your family is in.
My husband was much like yours for many years. He was a loner and unhelpful. I thought of divorce and then it hit me–divorce would change nothing. I wanted a divorce because he was never there, but if I divorced him he would still be never there! That was a turning point for me. I realized that the only problem was my expectations. I expected things to be different and when they weren’t I started the comparison game like you do. Once I realized what I was doing, I stopped it. And as soon as I did my whole life changed for the better. It wasn’t completely overnight, but it was very quick. I started praying prayers of thanksgiving throughout the day, even for things as minor as ,"Thank you Father for me comfortable pillow so I can rest, or, “Praise Jesus for the sunrise today!” it took a couple weeks before I caught myself saying ,“St. Joseph, thank you for leading my husband to me. He is a good man.” It can get better but only if you want it to and are willing to do the work yourself.
Keeping up with the Jonses is only dragging you down and pulling your kids down with you. You and your family are worth more than that. Break your habits before you break your family. The damage to your kids is already becoming apparent.
We’ve bought the kids a few new things for Christmas, but mostly I’ve been buying second-hand online from locals b/c I know that our little Christmas at home will be dwarfed by the other 2 celebrations that follow.
Why does this bother you and why do you allow it to bother your kids? Christmas is supposed to be glorious, not because of gifts but because of Jesus. And I don’t know what you mean by a little Christmas, but we tend to get our kids two needs (hats and gloves, scarf, coat, jeans, shoes, boots, church clothes,etc.) and one want (toy, book, art supplies,etc.). then we do one family gift such as a new video game or something like that and fruit/candy in stockings. They see how much more their friends and relatives tend to get and it does not bother them at all. I would never allow such habits and behavior in my kids. It isn’t Christian behavior at all.
As for buying cheap stuff that breaks, well that can easily be rectified by teaching your self and your kids that you must take care of whatever you are blessed enough to afford and have. And if something breaks you don’t cry over it, you either fix it or throw it out. Perfectionism and materialism go hand in hand and they destroy at the very core. I have been praying for your family and I will continue to do so. I believe that deep inside you is a desire to be a true saint and a good person. However the way you are going about it is going to end up destroying you and your family. If you start spending more time being thankful for all God has given you and less time on how much better you assume other people have it I think you will begin to understand the cycle your family is in.
My husband was much like yours for many years. He was a loner and unhelpful. I thought of divorce and then it hit me–divorce would change nothing. I wanted a divorce because he was never there, but if I divorced him he would still be never there! That was a turning point for me. I realized that the only problem was my expectations. I expected things to be different and when they weren’t I started the comparison game like you do. Once I realized what I was doing, I stopped it. And as soon as I did my whole life changed for the better. It wasn’t completely overnight, but it was very quick. I started praying prayers of thanksgiving throughout the day, even for things as minor as ,"Thank you Father for me comfortable pillow so I can rest, or, “Praise Jesus for the sunrise today!” it took a couple weeks before I caught myself saying ,“St. Joseph, thank you for leading my husband to me. He is a good man.” It can get better but only if you want it to and are willing to do the work yourself.
Keeping up with the Jonses is only dragging you down and pulling your kids down with you. You and your family are worth more than that. Break your habits before you break your family. The damage to your kids is already becoming apparent.
M
Mrs_Sally
Guest
7armyrugrats have given excellent advice!!
Also, as a practical matter, you don’t have to spend money every time someone gives it to you even for the kids. Your son certanly sounds old enough to start saving his “treat” money for something that he really wants and will last. Even for your littles you can say, “Thanks so much mom! Suzy is saving up for a dolly and this will really help the dolly fund!” Then when you do buy the nice toy, remember to thank those who contributed and send them all pictures of little Suzy with her doll so they can enjoy it too!
Also, as a practical matter, you don’t have to spend money every time someone gives it to you even for the kids. Your son certanly sounds old enough to start saving his “treat” money for something that he really wants and will last. Even for your littles you can say, “Thanks so much mom! Suzy is saving up for a dolly and this will really help the dolly fund!” Then when you do buy the nice toy, remember to thank those who contributed and send them all pictures of little Suzy with her doll so they can enjoy it too!
J
JLCecilia
Guest
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