bad gramma

  • Thread starter Thread starter JLCecilia
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JLCecilia said:

“My 7yo has this bad habit of blaming his brothers for putting his dirty dishes back on the table (when he didn’t clear them to begin with), taking his dirty clothes out of the hamper (that he didn’t put away in the first place) and everyone else breaking or losing his things b/c HE sure as heck didn’t do it.”

Oh, boy.

It’s probably really important, then, to model not blaming others and taking responsibility for our mistakes to this particular child.
 
Wait, let me get this straight. You knew your mom wouldn’t get around to doing it, but you got your sons hopes up over the course of 9 months anyway?

This is not about your mother being a ‘bad gramma’, it’s about you manipulating everyone around you. You know what my mom did when an adult would make me a promise that she knew they wouldn’t fulfill? Rather than getting me excited or trying to insist that the person follow through (which is futile) she kindly explained to me that although it sounds really nice, some people make promises that they really mean to fulfill but don’t look far enough into the future to actually do it. She told me that I shouldn’t get my hopes up, that everyone has flaws, and that that’s just one of that person’s flaws. It was an important life lesson and one that everyone needs to learn. She never would have toyed with my feelings the way you did with your son.

And I agree with the other poster’s. If you had let this drop, your son wouldn’t even be thinking about chaps anymore.
 
BlueEyedLady said:

“And I agree with the other poster’s. If you had let this drop, your son wouldn’t even be thinking about chaps anymore.”

Nah–that depends very much on the child. Some kids are naturally little obsessives and they will remember any promise FOREVER without being reminded.
 
Of course they will remember promises.

But that excitement he felt over chaps would fade over time as he found other things occupy his mind with and it wouldn’t be a big deal now, 9 months later.

And, it’s not even as though the OP did this on accident. She called her mom and asked her to make chaps, knowing that she wouldn’t, and then got her son excited about grandma making chaps, all the while knowing that it wouldn’t happen. That’s cruel.
 
You set her up to fail, and she is the bad gramma? Wow. I hope you don’t have any ADHD kids; they’ll need therapy. If you’d done this to me and I read what you’d written, devastated wouldn’t start to describe the feeling. Really. Imagine you are your mother, and read what your daughter thinks of you. Read how she compares you to herself, how she compares you to others.

I’m guessing your mom comes through, it is when she has a deadline. Keep that in mind if you ever decide to “set her up” again. Make sure she has a deadline, and a plan B (like giving the project to you) if she doesn’t make it. Otherwise, quit doing this to her and then blaming her. It is really not nice. It is like tripping a blind man and then reminding yourself that you’re the one with the eyesight. Well, yes you are…Brilliant deduction, Ms. Holmes!
 
Making costumes and clothes isn’t even remotely the most important part of being a grandma. If I asked my mother to make an outfit for my child, she’d absolutely make it. It would be adorable. It would be perfect. Martha herself would drool over it. She would post pictures of it on facebook and all of her friends would hit “like” and tell her how clever she was. Then she would iron it (because I can’t ever do that well enough myself.) and put it on her and go on and on about how beautiful the outfit was and completely ignore the child she put it on. If your mother spends time with your kids and is a loving and positive influence in their lives, I would get over the clothes.
 
I thought this thread was about bad grammar when I clicked on it.
 
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