Bad guacamole recipes

[UbiCaritas]

Worst guacamole I ever tasted (really, a runner-up for worst food I’ve ever tasted, but I digress) was some stuff I had in high school.

I lived in the Midwest at the time, and the local cuisine was pretty much limited to seizing some poor, innocent food item (meat, vegetable, whatever) that was unable to escape, slathering it in Cream of Whatsit Soup, coating the resulting goo in crushed potato chips (God might know why, but I certainly don’t) and baking it at 350 for an hour.

This being about ten years ago, avocado had just started to become a “thing.” Good luck finding decent ones in the Middle Of Nowhere. However, the local grocery stores had just the ticket! It was a packet of powdered…something…which a misbegotten cook would mix into MAYONNAISE. This produced a bowl of green-brown glop that the locals insisted was guacamole. I, unwisely, tried it, and promptly vowed never to allow the stuff near my mouth again. It wasn’t 'til years later when I found myself living in Texas and tasted my hostess’s guac out of courtesy that I realized a) that wars had been started for less reason than calling that…whatever it was…I’d eaten back then “guacamole” and b) that this real guacamole and I were at the start of a beautiful friendship.

 

[Xantippe]

Worst guacamole I ever tasted (really, a runner-up for worst food I’ve ever tasted, but I digress) was some stuff I had in high school.

I lived in the Midwest at the time, and the local cuisine was pretty much limited to seizing some poor, innocent food item (meat, vegetable, whatever) that was unable to escape, slathering it in Cream of Whatsit Soup, coating the resulting goo in crushed potato chips (God might know why, but I certainly don’t) and baking it at 350 for an hour.

This being about ten years ago, avocado had just started to become a “thing.” Good luck finding decent ones in the Middle Of Nowhere. However, the local grocery stores had just the ticket! It was a packet of powdered…something…which a misbegotten cook would mix into MAYONNAISE. This produced a bowl of green-brown glop that the locals insisted was guacamole. I, unwisely, tried it, and promptly vowed never to allow the stuff near my mouth again. It wasn’t 'til years later when I found myself living in Texas and tasted my hostess’s guac out of courtesy that I realized a) that wars had been started for less reason than calling that…whatever it was…I’d eaten back then “guacamole” and b) that this real guacamole and I were at the start of a beautiful friendship.

Awwwww!

The “guacamole mix” reminds me of a product we’ve seen at the store for making mango smoothies. All you do is add mangoes and ice to the mango smoothie mix, and you get mango smoothies…

Also somewhat related, I see that Lays is now making Tikka Masala kettle chips.

firstwefeast.com/eat/2016/03/lays-tikka-masala-flavored-kettle-chips-in-the-us

I have seen this in the store already…

 

[pensmama87]

Awwwww!

The “guacamole mix” reminds me of a product we’ve seen at the store for making mango smoothies. All you do is add mangoes and ice to the mango smoothie mix, and you get mango smoothies…

Also somewhat related, I see that Lays is now making Tikka Masala kettle chips.

firstwefeast.com/eat/2016/03/lays-tikka-masala-flavored-kettle-chips-in-the-us

I have seen this in the store already…

That makes me think of ketchup chips (which we ate in the Great White North in the 90s, but I haven’t seen them much in the US since then.) They did not taste a thing like ketchup, but they were still quite delicious.

 

[Sarcelle]

Worst guacamole I ever tasted (really, a runner-up for worst food I’ve ever tasted, but I digress) was some stuff I had in high school.

I lived in the Midwest at the time, and the local cuisine was pretty much limited to seizing some poor, innocent food item (meat, vegetable, whatever) that was unable to escape, slathering it in Cream of Whatsit Soup, coating the resulting goo in crushed potato chips (God might know why, but I certainly don’t) and baking it at 350 for an hour.

This being about ten years ago, avocado had just started to become a “thing.” Good luck finding decent ones in the Middle Of Nowhere. However, the local grocery stores had just the ticket! It was a packet of powdered…something…which a misbegotten cook would mix into MAYONNAISE. This produced a bowl of green-brown glop that the locals insisted was guacamole. I, unwisely, tried it, and promptly vowed never to allow the stuff near my mouth again. It wasn’t 'til years later when I found myself living in Texas and tasted my hostess’s guac out of courtesy that I realized a) that wars had been started for less reason than calling that…whatever it was…I’d eaten back then “guacamole” and b) that this real guacamole and I were at the start of a beautiful friendship.

 

[Rosebud77]

IRISH POTATO would be delicious with guacamole and/or a little chili!

lol! Chilli? Yulkkkk

I sometimes trade alongside a man selling seaweed products. He the last years has been a food “crank”… almost a religion with him… One year it was eating whole grapefruit and lemons… last year his new “superfood” was , yes, avocados. He sits and eats them… all day long often… this autumn when I see him it will probably be something else…

Checked them out…

webmd.com/food-recipes/all-about-avocados

Interesting but am on sweet potatoes this week and like my food plain and simple… lol

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Does anyone have any good guacamole recipes?

 

[Sarcelle]

Does anyone have any good guacamole recipes?

Sarcelle’s simple guacamole (chunky style)

One medium avocado diced into small pieces
One Serrano or jalapeño finely minced
(*Note: serranos are much hotter than Jalapeños but if you like heat, the serranos have a great flavor which complements the avocado beautifully.)
Two plum tomatoes (the acid from the tomatoes helps tone down the heat of the peppers)
A handful of cilantro, chopped
Squeeze of lime
Sea salt to taste

Mix all ingredients together.

To me this is a cross between a salsa and guacamole. I do not like the sight of mashed avocado, so I tend to leave it in its chunkier form. I have seen people put onions in their guacamole but onions have an acrid tang which clashes with the smoothness of the avocado.

Now if one must have onions, try using sweet onions, such as Vidalias or Maui onion. They have a sweeter, mellower go flavor which won’t overpower the avocado. They also add a note of crunch.

 

[pensmama87]

Sarcelle’s simple guacamole (chunky style)

One medium avocado diced into small pieces
One Serrano or jalapeño finely minced
(*Note: serranos are much hotter than Jalapeños but if you like heat, the serranos have a great flavor which complements the avocado beautifully.)
Two plum tomatoes (the acid from the tomatoes helps tone down the heat of the peppers)
A handful of cilantro, chopped
Squeeze of lime
Sea salt to taste

Mix all ingredients together.

To me this is a cross between a salsa and guacamole. I do not like the sight of mashed avocado, so I tend to leave it in its chunkier form. I have seen people put onions in their guacamole but onions have an acrid tang which clashes with the smoothness of the avocado.

Now if one must have onions, try using sweet onions, such as Vidalias or Maui onion. They have a sweeter, mellower go flavor which won’t overpower the avocado. They also add a note of crunch.

This is similar to how I typically do it, but I mash the avocado (keeping a fair bit of it chunky) and we like a lot of lime. I use a little less tomato, too, and sometimes add a little bit of garlic.

But why mess with perfection? This is really it.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

I thought the avocado thing was all hype for a long time. (I grew up in a house where everything we ate was some shade of brown.)

Then 2-3 years ago I tasted one. Now I’m making up for lost time. It’s like butter, but better.

It’s also my most successful baby food. They may have been meh about other stuff, but they’ll eat avocado.

I second that.

The little ones at home love avocado straight out of the peel. It is easy, no prep, “good” fat, and filling.

Guacamole is fantastic, and I love trying different kids, but too often wannabe cusiniers think that adding random, seemingly disparate things into the pot gives it that little “je nous se quoi” that it needs. No, mixing anything that was laying around in a pot for dinner was what they got by with in the Great Depression, friend.

Just because peas are green doesn’t mean you can try and slip a fewextra nutrients into the guac and no one will notice. Might as well throw in some lima beans and collards too while you are at it, Mr. Boyardee…

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Sarcelle’s simple guacamole (chunky style)

One medium avocado diced into small pieces
One Serrano or jalapeño finely minced
(*Note: serranos are much hotter than Jalapeños but if you like heat, the serranos have a great flavor which complements the avocado beautifully.)
Two plum tomatoes (the acid from the tomatoes helps tone down the heat of the peppers)
A handful of cilantro, chopped
Squeeze of lime
Sea salt to taste

Mix all ingredients together.

To me this is a cross between a salsa and guacamole. I do not like the sight of mashed avocado, so I tend to leave it in its chunkier form. I have seen people put onions in their guacamole but onions have an acrid tang which clashes with the smoothness of the avocado.

Now if one must have onions, try using sweet onions, such as Vidalias or Maui onion. They have a sweeter, mellower go flavor which won’t overpower the avocado. They also add a note of crunch.

Thank you. Sounds good! The serrano pepper I guess could be made a bit less hot by taking out the seeds and ribs?

I cannot eat raw onions. It’s a terrible terrible thing for me.

 

[Sarcelle]

Thank you. Sounds good! The serrano pepper I guess could be made a bit less hot by taking out the seeds and ribs?

I cannot eat raw onions. It’s a terrible terrible thing for me.

Yes, you can cut out the ribs and seeds and you do not even have to use a whole pepper.

If you like milder peppers use a Fresno or Anaheim pepper. They have warmth but not heat. They would be good if children might eat your guacamole.

As for the onion, feel free to leave it out.

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

a thread I can sink my teeth into!

make mine with minced jalapeño chile (can leave out the seeds and rib sections, can also not mince the entire chile; both will make it more tolerable), minced garlic, chopped tomato, finely chopped cilantro. sweet onions optional but go light on this if using, just enough for taste, no more.

slices of avocados are good on most salads, burgers and BLT’s, guess we’ll have to call those BLAT’s, but of course they don’t go everywhere

sweet potatoes with cinnamon and real butter FTW, never bring that ersatz stuff into my kitchen

 

[Xantippe]

a thread I can sink my teeth into!

make mine with minced jalapeño chile (can leave out the seeds and rib sections, can also not mince the entire chile; both will make it more tolerable), minced garlic, chopped tomato, finely chopped cilantro. sweet onions optional but go light on this if using, just enough for taste, no more.

slices of avocados are good on most salads, burgers and BLT’s, guess we’ll have to call those BLAT’s, but of course they don’t go everywhere

sweet potatoes with cinnamon and real butter FTW, never bring that ersatz stuff into my kitchen

Very nice!

 

[Sarcelle]

a thread I can sink my teeth into!

make mine with minced jalapeño chile (can leave out the seeds and rib sections, can also not mince the entire chile; both will make it more tolerable), minced garlic, chopped tomato, finely chopped cilantro. sweet onions optional but go light on this if using, just enough for taste, no more.

slices of avocados are good on most salads, burgers and BLT’s, guess we’ll have to call those BLAT’s, but of course they don’t go everywhere

sweet potatoes with cinnamon and real butter FTW, never bring that ersatz stuff into my kitchen

Try an avocado and banana shake.

Delicious. Better yet use frozen bananas. The result is rich tasting yet good for you.

It is perfect on hot days when the last thing you want to do is add more heat in the kitchen by cooking.

 

[estesbob]

There is no such thing as a good guacamole recipe