Bad Neighbor

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MacManus

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I have a neighbor with an extensive criminal record, violence, domestic abuse, dealing drugs, felony charges, prison time (for the past 20+ years)…whose girlfriend/wife also has legal issues. Some of these activities are still happening and the police have been involved.
All of this has caused numerous problems in the neighborhood.

As a Catholic I struggle with how to deal with this type of person. Do I have hate towards these people…no. But there is no “love thy neighbor”.

As a Catholic how should I deal with this person?

I haven’t found anything in the CCC.
 
Sorry you’re having a hard time with your neighbor. I would treat them kindly in any interactions, waving “hello” when you see them, helping them if they ask, etc. but your families safety and your neighborhood’s safety come first. Report any illegal activities or behaviors that may harm you or your family. You don’t have to socialize with them, but you can still be courteous when you see them. Good luck.
 
I think that to love your neighbor does not mean to like him/her, to love someone means that you wish the best for that other person, even if you do not like him/her. So the best will be to pray for him/her, that they find peace and prosperity in their lives.
 
vicflopos said:
I think that to love your neighbor does not mean to like him/her, to love someone means that you wish the best for that other person, even if you do not like him/her. So the best will be to pray for him/her, that they find peace and prosperity in their lives.
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👍

Good post, although I would change the last to read, “…hope they find peace and faith in Christ…”, instead of prosperity.

Praying is probably the best you can do for these people right now.

Peace
James
 
Thanks everyone. I’ll try to pray for them and be civil. I just have a hard time being civil with men who smack women around, as well as some of his other felony offenses.

Would Jesus be kind to this individual in this individual’s current state?
 
MacManus said:
Thanks everyone. I’ll try to pray for them and be civil. I just have a hard time being civil with men who smack women around, as well as some of his other felony offenses.

Would Jesus be kind to this individual in this individual’s current state?
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Jesus will Love this person in the way that is most needed.
That might Require that Our Dear Lord be, “Therapeutically Harsh”, with him but it will still be out of Love.
This does not mean that we should pray for suffering to befall this person, but rather Pray that God give such a one those graces that will allow them to come home to Him.

Peace
James
 
Oh man reminds me of my neighbors they weren’t all the drug things or abusive to their wives but they were a church and an evil one!!! 😦 It was horrible! Those people did everything possible to get us kicked out of the neighborhood! Everything! I MEAN EVERYTHING! They would call the cops on us because of the dogs barking-even when they were tied in the back yard or in the basement!!! 😦 They would kick our garbage cans, park in our yard, stand and talk after their meetings around midnight every day while we were all trying to sleep! It was overwhelming! After the cops told them to stop calling and the city told them to stop calling, things have slowed down a bit, but then again it’s pretty cold here so no one is out anymore!!! But man let me tell you trying to be nice to people that are so evil and mean is really hard…I just kept to myself, my kids kept to themselves and so did everyone in the neighborhood! Crazy stuff!

I found out they were wanting to buy the land from the owner since the house used to belong to the last preacher that ran the church, he passed away the house was up for sale my landlord bought it…but he’s racist and didn’t want any African American’s living in the house because of what his last African American tenants did to the house when he first rented it out to them, he said they destroyed his house and he wasn’t dealing with it!!! Whatever that means! LOL So then things were a little more clear and the fact that they really wanted to buy the house was putting us into a lot of problems!

I always try to pray for them may GOD bless them that’s all I gotta say!

GOD bless your neighbors!
 
MacManus said:
Thanks everyone. I’ll try to pray for them and be civil. I just have a hard time being civil with men who smack women around, as well as some of his other felony offenses.

Would Jesus be kind to this individual in this individual’s current state?
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Read the story of the woman at the well or the woman taken in adultery. Jesus gave forgivness to all who sought it.
 
I’ll keep trying James! I wish them no ill will but the criminal activity needs to stop!

Sorry about your situation iluvmybabies. That has to be continually difficult.

kage_ar, I’m not sure how either apply. First of all, I never really understood the adulterer story. She broke the law/commandment, didn’t repent, didn’t apologize and they couldn’t prosecute since they have sinned themselves, and she was forgiven by Jesus anyway? What am I missing?

Wasn’t the woman at the well good? Just from a different Jewish religious sect?
 
MacManus said:
I have a neighbor with an extensive criminal record, violence, domestic abuse, dealing drugs, felony charges, prison time (for the past 20+ years)…whose girlfriend/wife also has legal issues. Some of these activities are still happening and the police have been involved.
All of this has caused numerous problems in the neighborhood.

As a Catholic I struggle with how to deal with this type of person. Do I have hate towards these people…no. But there is no “love thy neighbor”.

As a Catholic how should I deal with this person?

I haven’t found anything in the CCC.
Click to expand...
I know exactly how you feel. We had neighbors who, while not criminal, were what some folks would call “white trashy”. Garbage all over the yard, dog poo all over the driveway and yard, he would knock his wife around and yell horrible obscenities at his kids. It was mostly the dad. He would let his dog bark for HOURS outside my bedroom window, and when I called the police he threatened me. It was horrible living next to these people.

I can’t tell you how many times I went to confession over it - the horrible thoughts and feelings I would have when I would see him. I never wished him ill will, but they were not pretty thoughts, believe me. Loving my neighbor was something I had a very difficult time with.

My husband, my dear one, helped me through this. He helped me to understand that I did not have to like the man in order to love him according to God’s commands. I can pray for him, I can hope the best for him and his family, but I don’t have to like him.

Then the family lost their home. They moved out last week, I watched them load the U-Haul in the rain. It was such a horribly sad sight. I was glad that the dog would no longer be barking at my window, or that I had to listen to him call his wife vile names. But my heart just sank for them knowing they lost the home his family has lived in for nearly 50 years. 😦

So - while I still do not like this man, I pray for them every night that they are well and safe and have found a home.

It’s not easy - but I finally got there. I think. 😊

~Liza
 
Let’s try to remember that being a Christian doesn’t mean being a pushover!

I tend to agree with you completely, that when a man hurts a woman, I don’t shake their hand or anything like that.

I pray for their repentance, of course. And I would be courteous to him, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to be their friend.

Let those who say, “turn the other cheek” remember something-if someone is slapping around your daughter, would you tell her to “turn the other cheek?”
 
Here is a bit of what the Catechism teaches about forgivness:

scborromeo.org/ccc/p4s2a3.htm#2838

[2840](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/2840.htm’)😉 Now - and this is daunting - this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see.136 In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace.

2841 This petition is so important that it is the only one to which the Lord returns and which he develops explicitly in the Sermon on the Mount.137 This crucial requirement of the covenant mystery is impossible for man. But "with God all things are possible."138

. . . as we forgive those who trespass against us

[2842](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/2842.htm’)😉 This “as” is not unique in Jesus’ teaching: “You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect”; “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful”; "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another."139 It is impossible to keep the Lord’s commandment by imitating the divine model from outside; there has to be a vital participation, coming from the depths of the heart, in the holiness and the mercy and the love of our God. Only the Spirit by whom we live can make “ours” the same mind that was in Christ Jesus.140 Then the unity of forgiveness becomes possible and we find ourselves “forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave” us.141

[2843](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/2843.htm’)😉 Thus the Lord’s words on forgiveness, the love that loves to the end,142 become a living reality. The parable of the merciless servant, which crowns the Lord’s teaching on ecclesial communion, ends with these words: "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."143 It is there, in fact, “in the depths of the heart,” that everything is bound and loosed. It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.

[2844](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/2844.htm’)😉 Christian prayer extends to the forgiveness of enemies,144 transfiguring the disciple by configuring him to his Master. Forgiveness is a high-point of Christian prayer; only hearts attuned to God’s compassion can receive the gift of prayer. Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world, love is stronger than sin. The martyrs of yesterday and today bear this witness to Jesus. Forgiveness is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of men with one another.145

[2845](javascript:openWindow(‘cr/2845.htm’)😉 There is no limit or measure to this essentially divine forgiveness,146 whether one speaks of “sins” as in *Luke *(11:4), “debts” as in *Matthew *(6:12). We are always debtors: "Owe no one anything, except to love one another."147 The communion of the Holy Trinity is the source and criterion of truth in every relation ship. It is lived out in prayer, above all in the Eucharist.148
God does not accept the sacrifice of a sower of disunion, but commands that he depart from the altar so that he may first be reconciled with his brother. For God can be appeased only by prayers that make peace. To God, the better offering is peace, brotherly concord, and a people made one in the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.149
 
MacManus said:
kage_ar, I’m not sure how either apply. First of all, I never really understood the adulterer story. She broke the law/commandment, didn’t repent, didn’t apologize and they couldn’t prosecute since they have sinned themselves, and she was forgiven by Jesus anyway? What am I missing?

Wasn’t the woman at the well good? Just from a different Jewish religious sect?
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The woman caught in adultery broke the law - the law with a death penalty!

Jesus forgave her.

The woman at the well was a brazen adulteress - Christ forgave her.
 
MacManus,
I had an inspiration this mortning that I thought would be applicable to your situation and how to pray for these people.
As I was driving past the “Planned Parenthood” location, I always saya quick prayer. Well this morning I was prompted to Pray this.
“Dear Lord, Protect the Innocent and Convert the Guilty.”

After saying this I immediately thought of this thread.
“Convert the Guilty”, seems like the perfect semtiment for you to pray for your neighbor and anyone else that might need such help.
Also such an ejaculation can be said quickly and many times during the day.

Hope it helps.

Peace
James
 
Thanks everyone for your posts. I still have a lot more to grow and practice in this area.
 
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