Bad priest really testing my faith

[igator99]

I admit my faith is not strong. Since turning 41 I have been trying had to be a good Catholic. It is really hard being a good Catholic but I can’t imagine being a part of another church. Finding time for confession has been my biggest problem.

Recently my Parish got a new young priest. He drives a BMW and owns an iphone. He seems to think very high of himself and conducts projects at my childs school to self grandiose himself. It is almost like he wants the kids to worship him. He recently got rid of the old principal which was a nice and very holy woman but she didn’t advertise all the good deeds she did like going to nursing homes on Sunday to pick up those that were willing to go to Mass.

The new principal will use phrases like "I will pray for you’ and may God bless you constantly yet behind closed doors she can be mean and anything less than Christian. A teacher at my childs school recently lost her husband to cancer and she started a project where we collected money and DVD’s and players for the chemo patients at the hospital where her husband was treated. The teacher is good one and a very Christian woman although she may not wear her religion on sleve but shows her faith and love of Christ through her actions. She was called in by the principal and was chewed out and threatened to be fired for the project. The principal was well aware of the project but apparently didn’t know the exact date when the children were to arrive at the hospital. The only reason I can believe she would be so angry was that she missed out on the photo op which appeared in the local paper. My child will not be attending the parish school next year and I’m thinking about switching parishes. I just see to much hypocracy going on over there. There is a part of me that wants to expose these people and fight them but knowing the structure of the church I feel it will fall on deaf ears and be an excersise of futilty and fustration. I’m starting to skip Mass and not pray as much as i use too. Should I just leave that parish behind and let someone else lead the fight? Please pray for me.

 

[m134e5]

I’m starting to skip Mass and not pray as much as i use too. Should I just leave that parish behind and let someone else lead the fight? Please pray for me.

Don’t skip Mass or abandon your prayer life. Remember that the Faith is bigger than any one priest. Go to confession, pray for the priest, the principal, and for the strength of your own faith. Find another parish to go to for awhile. I know some people really frown on church hopping- but you have to go where your faith is strengthened.

 

[igator99]

Don’t skip Mass or abandon your prayer life. Remember that the Faith is bigger than any one priest. Go to confession, pray for the priest, the principal, and for the strength of your own faith. Find another parish to go to for awhile. I know some people really frown on church hopping- but you have to go where your faith is strengthened.

Fantastic advice. I will start praying for the priest and the principal. This will also get me back in the habit and help to strengthen my own faith. THANK YOU!

 

[Adonia]

I feel for you as regards your priest. The last two parish’s we attended both had very holy men as pastors. A good priest really sets the tone for the whole parish. If I were in a situation like you I would be looking for a new parish. Good luck!

 

[trials]

Pray for the priest. I have come across priests in the past that would nearly have made me lose hope in the Church and walk away, full of bitterness might I add. But please don’t let this stand in the way of you meeting Christ in the sacraments, remember the priest’s personal state of holiness is irrelevant. Many people have left the Church because of “bad priests” but it really is their loss. We need to see beyond the priest and realise what we would be depriving ourselves of if we left. Pray, God will work things out.

 

[TBolt1000T]

Like others have said, since the things going on in that parish are causing your faith to suffer, you should start looking for another parish, immediately. My advice is: don’t skip Mass, but stop going to Mass at that parish, and start visiting other parishes. You may want to let your bishop know what’s going on, and how that priest has created a stumbling block for your faith. I’ll pray for you.

 

[GKCT]

My heart goes out to you. Just can’t imagine having someone like that in our parish. However, there is a saying, “If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.” Have you spoken with other parents to get their (name removed by moderator)ut? Have you spoken to the pastor or bishop? Do you have a strong PTA that could address this?
Do you have a parish council that you could become part of?

In the meantime, attend Mass, it will strengthen you. Go to confession and attain sanctifying grace. If the school is basically a good one, try not to take your child out of his/her environment.

Our faith is stronger than any individual, after all, it is stronger than Satan, and we can beat the bejeebers out of him!

My prayers are with you.

 

[JRKH]

This is a tough situation - both for you to be in and for us to try and give advice. You see we only have your side of the story…We aren’t there, don’t know the priest or the principal etc…we cannot make any sound assessment of our own on the matter.
for instance, we know that you do not care for this pastor and principal, but what do other parishoners think? Is there a legitimate base within the parish to perhaps petition the chancery for a different priest?
Naturally you should lean toward accepting this priest and being obedient to him as the representative of the Church, but if his actions are grievious enough and they are upsetting the peace of the community of faithful, perhaps the bishop will consider a change.
On the other hand, if your view is not widely shared, or if the information you have is not entirely accurate (were you there when the teacher was “dressed down and threatened”?), there may be little you can do except seek another parish for the good of you soul.

Get to confession, talk this over with another priest if possible, pray for guidance in the matter and stay faithful to Christ and to Holy Mother Church.

Peace
James

 

[Michael_C]

Find another parish to go to for awhile. I know some people really frown on church hopping- but you have to go where your faith is strengthened.

This is good advice. I was at a parish where the pastor and a priest were so out of touch even to the point of teaching new age nonsense.

I became so negative after every time I went to church that I realized it was giving my children a bad impression of church.

I changed parishes. I absolutley love where we go now. In the future if I ever get a bad vibe from a priest or pastor I will change parishes in a minute.

The souls of my family and myself are too important to expose them to those who would not take their care seriously.

 

[Cristiano]

I admit my faith is not strong. Since turning 41 I have been trying had to be a good Catholic. It is really hard being a good Catholic but I can’t imagine being a part of another church. Finding time for confession has been my biggest problem.

Recently my Parish got a new young priest. He drives a BMW and owns an iphone. He seems to think very high of himself and conducts projects at my childs school to self grandiose himself. It is almost like he wants the kids to worship him. He recently got rid of the old principal which was a nice and very holy woman but she didn’t advertise all the good deeds she did like going to nursing homes on Sunday to pick up those that were willing to go to Mass.

The new principal will use phrases like "I will pray for you’ and may God bless you constantly yet behind closed doors she can be mean and anything less than Christian. A teacher at my childs school recently lost her husband to cancer and she started a project where we collected money and DVD’s and players for the chemo patients at the hospital where her husband was treated. The teacher is good one and a very Christian woman although she may not wear her religion on sleve but shows her faith and love of Christ through her actions. She was called in by the principal and was chewed out and threatened to be fired for the project. The principal was well aware of the project but apparently didn’t know the exact date when the children were to arrive at the hospital. The only reason I can believe she would be so angry was that she missed out on the photo op which appeared in the local paper. My child will not be attending the parish school next year and I’m thinking about switching parishes. I just see to much hypocracy going on over there. There is a part of me that wants to expose these people and fight them but knowing the structure of the church I feel it will fall on deaf ears and be an excersise of futilty and fustration. I’m starting to skip Mass and not pray as much as i use too. Should I just leave that parish behind and let someone else lead the fight? Please pray for me.

I think that you you start to look more inside yourself than outside. I am sorry but your post sounds a lot like gossip to justifying the condemnation of some behaviors that are not automatically immoral and that could have a valid justification. You are assuming a lot of things that people might have thought. That usually is an indication of what goes through your mind and not theirs.

 

[crystal_waters]

I admit my faith is not strong. Since turning 41 I have been trying had to be a good Catholic. It is really hard being a good Catholic but I can’t imagine being a part of another church. Finding time for confession has been my biggest problem.

Recently my Parish got a new young priest. He drives a BMW and owns an iphone. He seems to think very high of himself and conducts projects at my childs school to self grandiose himself. It is almost like he wants the kids to worship him. He recently got rid of the old principal which was a nice and very holy woman but she didn’t advertise all the good deeds she did like going to nursing homes on Sunday to pick up those that were willing to go to Mass.

The new principal will use phrases like "I will pray for you’ and may God bless you constantly yet behind closed doors she can be mean and anything less than Christian. A teacher at my childs school recently lost her husband to cancer and she started a project where we collected money and DVD’s and players for the chemo patients at the hospital where her husband was treated. The teacher is good one and a very Christian woman although she may not wear her religion on sleve but shows her faith and love of Christ through her actions. She was called in by the principal and was chewed out and threatened to be fired for the project. The principal was well aware of the project but apparently didn’t know the exact date when the children were to arrive at the hospital. The only reason I can believe she would be so angry was that she missed out on the photo op which appeared in the local paper. My child will not be attending the parish school next year and I’m thinking about switching parishes. I just see to much hypocracy going on over there. There is a part of me that wants to expose these people and fight them but knowing the structure of the church I feel it will fall on deaf ears and be an excersise of futilty and fustration. I’m starting to skip Mass and not pray as much as i use too. Should I just leave that parish behind and let someone else lead the fight? Please pray for me.

i don’t mean to be blunt but quit worrying about what the priest and the principal do…you don’t own them, they have free will and it’s up to them how they choose to conduct themselves, you can’t force others to conform to how you want them to be…
secondly don’t judge others just by what you have seen, maybe you saw them on a bad day…judge not lest ye be judged…
and don’t base the strength or weakness of your faith by what your priest or others are doing, your should believe in god and love him no matter what others do…to lose faith in him cos of how another person behaves or because your priest drives a bmw and has an iphone is kinda pathetic and shows you need to work more on getting closer to god and less on sticking your nose into others business

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Many years ago I went through the same thing, except that my show-boat priest didn’t bother me as much as the mean school principle who refuse to allow my daughter to continue being a student at the school. We’re talking 3rd grade here.

Anyway, I being a devote Christian and Catholic, felt bitter and hurt about it and it was eating me away.

Finally that year on retreat, I spoke with a priest and told him what happened.

He became agitated over the story, but admittedly told me to remember, the Catholic School is not the Catholic Church and that Christ must be the center of our lives, otherwise the Church becomes nothing more than a religious institution with all the flaws humans bring into it.

He said, my daughter would be better off in the public school, which she was. In fact, had I known how good the public school was over the parish school, she would’ve gone to public school to begin with.

Anyway, after my talk with the priest and asking God for forgiveness of those who hurt me, but also of my bitterness toward them, I was healed and left my retreat at total peace.

As far as Father Show-Boat. He eventually got caught having an affair with a married woman and he left the priesthood in order to marry her after she divorced. They were married about three years before they were divorced.

Jim

 

[puzzleannie]

I admit my faith is not strong. Since turning 41 I have been trying had to be a good Catholic. It is really hard being a good Catholic but I can’t imagine being a part of another church. Finding time for confession has been my biggest problem.

Recently my Parish got a new young priest. He drives a BMW and owns an iphone. He seems to think very high of himself and conducts projects at my childs school to self grandiose himself. It is almost like he wants the kids to worship him. He recently got rid of the old principal which was a nice and very holy woman but she didn’t advertise all the good deeds she did like going to nursing homes on Sunday to pick up those that were willing to go to Mass.
e.

waiting for some better example on specific abuses, bad teaching or practice on the part of this priest, yet it sounds as if your present issue is more with the school than with the particular priest. You should certainly not make a personal issue with the priest an excuse to avoide confession, Mass and sacraments, and if that is happening you must find another parish right away.

 

[igator99]

i don’t mean to be blunt but quit worrying about what the priest and the principal do…you don’t own them, they have free will and it’s up to them how they choose to conduct themselves, you can’t force others to conform to how you want them to be…
secondly don’t judge others just by what you have seen, maybe you saw them on a bad day…judge not lest ye be judged…
and don’t base the strength or weakness of your faith by what your priest or others are doing, your should believe in god and love him no matter what others do…to lose faith in him cos of how another person behaves or because your priest drives a bmw and has an iphone is kinda pathetic and shows you need to work more on getting closer to god and less on sticking your nose into others business

I’m sorry and maybe I’m wrong for this but I don’t trust nor like priests that drive status cars like a BMW and have name status brands like an iphone. It tells me he really values the things of this world. Like my daughter said what would Jesus drive? He got every child in the school to make him a birthday card on his birthday? I didn’t say he was evil or immoral just not what my idea of a priest is. He also bosted one day in Mass that he has a stack of hate mail that was huge so he must be doing something right? It troubles me deeply to dislike this priest. I was brought up in an era where a priest was loved and respected. I can’t respect this guy.

 

[igator99]

waiting for some better example on specific abuses, bad teaching or practice on the part of this priest, yet it sounds as if your present issue is more with the school than with the particular priest. You should certainly not make a personal issue with the priest an excuse to avoide confession, Mass and sacraments, and if that is happening you must find another parish right away.

The priest took over the school last year when he ran off the old principal and installed the lady that he completely controls. He is the true principal. The best advice I’ve got is to find another parish asap and pray for the priest and the school.

 

[beckycmarie]

igator,

I recommend taking a step back and reviewing what the Catechism says about rash judgment, detraction and calumny:

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

• of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

• of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;

• of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

 

[igator99]

igator,

I recommend taking a step back and reviewing what the Catechism says about rash judgment, detraction and calumny:

Sorry demanding praise from children and driving a BMW along with several other things he and his croonies have done makes me question this priest. I’m not alone. Best thing for me to do is pray for him and find another parish.

 

[Joannm]

How do you know where he got the BMW? Maybe it was a gift, or he just wanted a really good car. Our bishop drives around in an expensive car, several priests I know own sports cars. I know priests who own boats and even heard of one who own a plane. Secular priests do not take vows of poverty and many own property, vacation homes and time shares.

As for iPhones, well, they are good phones and, in case you are not aware, most dioceses only correspond with their priests by e-mail making it either necessary to carry a computer around or to use a smart phone. There is a breviary app for the iphone, which makes it easier for the priest when he travels than carrying around a book. He also can keep up with parishioners, surf the net and do other things that might be necessary. Many of the priests I know have iPhones or Blackberrys or other smart-phones…quite a few are now getting iPads. Having and using technology does not make them “bad” priests.

How do you know the priest “made” the kids make him birthday cards. Maybe it was the principal’s idea. I know a few priests who get hate mail, mostly because they speak the truth and people don’t like it. If you don’t know the contents of the mail then you don’t know why he is getting it.

Yes, there are priests who have got under my skin and whom I disagrees with on certain issues, but I would never call them a “bad priest.” They are just priests who do things differently than I would want or expect. There is one priest who bugs the heck out of me (I work with him), but outside of talking about work, he is a nice person and I can sort of figure out why he is the way he is and I sort of feel sorry for him, as he is not a “bad” person, just a victim of his childhood. Would I quit my job over him. No. He will be gone in about 3 years and I can wait it out, and maybe I can work to get him to soften his ways, or maybe not.

 

[RedSoxWife]

We’ve recently had problems at our parish (not with the priest, although I did write him an email when he asked explaining why we were leaving and he wrote back supporting that decision and saying he was relieved it wasn’t because of something he’d done…) and are now driving an hour each way to go to the next closest parish. It wasn’t a decision we came to lightly, and there are certainly things I miss about the community that we were part of (we were married there, I was confirmed and had first communion and first reconciliation there, and both our daughters were baptized there) but it’s also much less stressful for our entire family.

While I wouldn’t let anyone keep us from the Eucharist, when there is another parish within a reasonable distance, I think it’s certainly an option to consider. Besides, then you won’t be put in a near occasion of sin by getting angry each time you see him.

And pray and pray and pray for everyone involved. Priests, like the rest of us, need all the prayer they can get.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I am sorry that you seem to have issues with your pastor but…

Recently my Parish got a new young priest. He drives a BMW and owns an iphone.

There is nothing wrong with either of these. Secular priests make no vows. They do not vow poverty. They live as they can support themselves. There is nothing wrong with them owning property.

He seems to think very high of himself and conducts projects at my childs school to self grandiose himself. It is almost like he wants the kids to worship him. He recently got rid of the old principal which was a nice and very holy woman but she didn’t advertise all the good deeds she did like going to nursing homes on Sunday to pick up those that were willing to go to Mass.

These issues you have a very subjective and really all we have is your word on it.

I am sorry but until I know the truth of the matter I am going to give the benefit of the doubt to your pastor. After all he has given his life in service to the Church and the bishop has ordained him. Have you complained to the bishop or spoken to your pastor?

I will pray for you.