Bad Thoughts

[andremiguel]

What do you do with bad thoughts?
A priest said to fight them. Another priest told us to let them go and not to fight them for it is worse.
What is your strategy?

 

[withnailand]

What do you do with bad thoughts?
A priest said to fight them. Another priest told us to let them go and not to fight them for it is worse.
What is your strategy?

Bad thought`s are part and parcel of christianity, my strategy is to ignore them, in the end it will work.

 

[englishredrose]

What kind of bad thoughts. please don’t answer that but just as a guide

With this priest I can simply share them with him because he has earned his trust and told me that I can email him if it what I need to do and I do email anything to let of steam and it stays with him. I have other coping stratergies too.

The biggest thing however is not to squash them but not to encourage them either. Accept them as normal thoughts and just let them pass you by as with other thoughts. It be helpful for you if you do have someone you can trust that like I do I can say anything the priest and have done via email. He doesn’t check up on me etc. Write them into a poem if you need to get them out? Or do some work out session in the garden. Eg bit of digging etc. Share them in confession because that way you can safely let go them. They mayn’t really be sins but it is somewhere you can hand them over in safety to another as such.

Don’t make any big deal of them or they will happen more because it becomes part of the ‘excitement’. They are normal to you and a part of you. Share them with a priest if you can and find a way that works for you in letting go of everything. The garden does it for me and I’ve learned that in the last 5 month.

Peace be with you

 

[JRKH]

I basically agree with the above poster…try to ignore them or more precisely “shake them off”.

If a bad thought pops into my head, as soon as I recognize it I reject it… Usually by imposing another thought or mental comment like…“Well that’s a stupid thing to think” or some such. I’ll sometimes even chuckle or make the comment out loud depending on whether others are around or not.
By not giving the bad thought any consideration whatsoever, I place myself squarely under the protection of Our Lord. The evil contained in the thought has no place to attach and simply vanishes (sometimes not as quickly as I would like…

That said, I would not discount the other priest’s advice to “fight them” either. However, I would suggest that there are different ways to fight. Often times the best ways are the more subtle ways.
First and most important is to immerse yourself in the Love of God. Seek to live out the commands to Love God above all else and your neighbor as yourself. The more fully immersed you are in this, the more fully this Love actually becomes your defining characteristic, the easier it will be to both recognize and dismiss bad thoughts.
Love, Godly Love, is the Key…
Second - Do not become overly concerned about random bad thoughts. Give them too much consideration and the devil will use this to begin an assault on your self esteem and try to drag you down to despair.
That said…Don’t ignore that possibility that bad thoughts can be evidences of a deeper “fault” that might need to be addressed. They might also point to something or someplace being a trigger and hence a “near occasion to sin” - something to be avoided.
In dealing with this second point, I like to use the “Seven Deadly Sins” as a guide for they really point to the “root cause” faults that underpin so many other “sins” of both act and thought. Then one can work to apply the contrary Virtues
Your confessor would be able to help you discern if this is the case…

One of the most important things to remember about this is that we need to be both diligent and patient. Overcoming faults and growing in holiness is a bit like dieting and exercise. It takes time and the improvements tend to be incremental. You will devise a spiritual plan and implement it. You will go along for a time without really noticing much change…the one day someone will say to you - “have you lost weight?” - OOPs sorry - I mean someone will comment on how much more peaceful, more loving, more calm, happier etc that you look and act. Or perhaps it will simply be you that note - “Wow” I haven’t had a (fill in the sin) thought in a long time…Thank you God"…
So be patient with yourself.

I hope that some of this is of help.

peace
James

 

[Pug]

There are different kinds of bad thoughts, so it depends.

Some I have learned I can completely ignore and it will simply pass and not continue if I do nothing. Others, perhaps like when I am angry with someone, then it may be best to say an extremely brief prayer for myself and the person and turn my mind to some other concern, like what I need to do for work tomorrow. Lastly, there are those thoughts that I immediately think of something else as soon as I recognize the thought is happening, which is often after the thought has gone on for a bit. This type of thought is more pernicious, and the safest course is to not fight, but to deflect. Have a planned safe topic and start to think about that topic immediately. Give no argument or backtalk to the pernicious thought. Deflect to another topic. Return as needed to your planned topic, with no anger or frustration. Just return to the topic as needed (even if needed a million times).

Perhaps also have planned more than a thought. Planned activity can help, too. For me work is helpful, since I have a job that requires lots of thought. For others a hobby or mowing the lawn or beginning a house project, etc.

 

[Bookcat]

(from previous posts of mine)

Regarding unwanted thoughts

While Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought or other like thought happens does not mean that one has sinned…

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other “bad thoughts”…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them or doing anything to bring them etc…

Are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give any consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it involuntarily —but rejected it and maybe even turned right to God : again a sign not full consent (if there was any).

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin?: it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented!

Remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person stress about seeking to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them.

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of?

Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing.
Simply do not consent and move on…

Another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. And just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

They can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

(Now difficulties with thoughts can happen to anyone…and has for centuries…nothing new!..but I will note too that “some” have a condition known as OCD (I knew someone with this once…it was a painful experience)…and thus should seek further professional help to work at overcoming it and to live a more peaceful life…)

(also some suffer from scrupulosity and ought to have a* regular confessor*)

---

Another help…is the distinction of “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are the first involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

---

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice… is to say “yes” or “no”.

 

[Bookcat]

(from previous posts of mine)

Regarding unwanted thoughts

While Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought or other like thought happens does not mean that one has sinned…

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other “bad thoughts”…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them or doing anything to bring them etc…

Are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give any consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it involuntarily —but rejected it and maybe even turned right to God : again a sign not full consent (if there was any).

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin?: it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented!

Remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person stress about seeking to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them.

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of?

Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing.
Simply do not consent and move on…

Another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. And just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

They can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

(Now difficulties with thoughts can happen to anyone…and has for centuries…nothing new!..but I will note too that “some” have a condition known as OCD (I knew someone with this once…it was a painful experience)…and thus should seek further professional help to work at overcoming it and to live a more peaceful life…)

(also some suffer from scrupulosity and ought to have a* regular confessor*)

---

Another help…is the distinction of “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are the first involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

---

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice… is to say “yes” or “no”.

 

[tvdxer]

What do you do with bad thoughts?
A priest said to fight them. Another priest told us to let them go and not to fight them for it is worse.
What is your strategy?

I’ve found that praying the “Hail Mary” silently works excellently when bombarded by this type of thought.

 

[jdfeeley]

I’ve just started up a blog for the scrupulous/OCD/ and sexually addicted or formally sexually addicted. Its called wayofthecross.blogspot.com

feel free to submit your questions and comments.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Ignore them and let them go. If you try to fight them, you’ll find yourself focusing on them and it will only make matters worse. The sin comes when you start entertaining them.

 

[ACanthony]

Regarding bad thoughts, I think it’s best to be on the offensive rather than the defensive—meaning that instead of trying not to think bad thoughts, think good thoughts on purpose. Naturally, we will still think bad thoughts. We can ignore them and that can work. We can pray to the Blessed Mother for help. I find this especially helpful if I am having a lot of thoughts which beat myself up. I ask the Blessed Mother for help treating myself gently. Also, if we have bad thoughts, a good way is to reshape them. i.e. if there is a lady at work who particularly bothers you. You may think “Ughhh, this lady keeps sneezing all over the place. If I was sneezing all day like this she’d make a wise remark. Doesn’t she care that she might make me sick?” Instead, think “Gosh, what a shame it is to be that sick. I’m lucky I don’t have a cold like she does. God please protect her and help her sickness to go away.” That strategy of re-framing is particularly good when it comes to bad thoughts towards other people…because whenever someone bothers you or makes you mad, you can always pray for them and then empathize with whatever pain they are probably going through. Hope this helps

 

[R_C]

I personally find no point in fighting these “thoughts”, except through the powerful weapon of holy indifference. Sometimes they may be words or offensive thoughts, other times songs that don’t seem to go away and greatly disturb you, etc. sometimes it’s images…thoughts, temptations…it can be many things.

Just ignore them, and focus on something else The sky is always there for us to look at, like Jesus did, to remind us of our heavenly home where the Lord wants us to live eternally…

*together as one,
to the Father He would take Her
where of the same joy
of which God rejoices, She’d rejoice;

and, as with the Father and the Son,
and He who proceeds from Them,
one lives in the other,
so with the Bride it would be,

and, in God absorted,
a God’s life She would live.*

St. John of the Cross, on Christ the Spouse, and the mystical Bride, own translation.

Prayer is also a great strategy, particularly the Rosary (maybe even just one decade).

I also keep in mind a few chants - ex. “Anima Christi” in Gregorian chant (video) or the “Pater Noster” (video)…hopefully I can sing them to myself if there is nobody around that I may bother, otherwise I’d still sing them…but in my heart.

Hope some of this helps.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

What do you do with bad thoughts?
A priest said to fight them. Another priest told us to let them go and not to fight them for it is worse.
What is your strategy?

Let them go as the priest advices,

Thoughts come into our minds without our will, but whether they stay or not is often becase we attach to one of them.

A good way is to meditate on the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ and focus yourself on his presence within,

Whenever you become aware that an erroneous thought has taken you away from the intention of your will, gently return to the name “Lord Jesus.”

Eventually, thoughts will slow down, and you’ll find yourself centered on Jesus throughout the day and the majority of your thoughts will be of the love you experience from Him who dwells within, being aware of his presence constantly. It’s what St Paul means by “pray without ceasing.”

Jim