Balancing intimate time?

[Traddy]

How do you balance your intimate time and your kids and their activities? I find that we do our best but sometimes it gets frustrating, oh well. I guess we should look into getting a babysitter more often. Frequency is key for us.

 

[rpp]

I do try to spend some time with my son, but he graduates from college in May and is moving cross country. He is working a full-time job and carrying a full load at school. We are lucky when we can meet for lunch.

I have zero time set aside for intimate time.

But then I am single.

 

[whatevergirl]

How do you balance your intimate time and your kids and their activities? I find that we do our best but sometimes it gets frustrating, oh well. I guess we should look into getting a babysitter more often. Frequency is key for us.

Hi Traddy–even when your kids get older, it’s still challenging to find private time together. By that point, they ‘know’ what mom and dad are doing in the bedroom. We have said things like…mommy and daddy need to go over some things…haha My son who is 15 will say…‘mommy and daddy? why are you talking about yourselves in the third person?’ hahaha Ok, so we stink at this:blush: , but just wanted to say that it doesn’t get easier when they get older. If your kids are still napping, that’s always a good time. We used to steal moments together when the kids were younger…planning never really worked.

 

[kage_ar]

When children are young, all married couples learn to make sacrifices when they must and take the time that they have. If you have grandparents or a sitter who can give you some time alone, take it. If not, be creative. When you cannot be creative, offer it up.

 

[Island_Oak]

How old /how many kids are you trying to dodge? Could be as simple as a lock on the bedroom door. Sometimes an overnight “date” at a nice hotel downtown can be a great get-away for a couple needing some private time!

 

[Traddy]

Thanks for the responses. We have a 10 year old, a 7 year old, and a 4 year old. What would the kids say if we suddenly had a lock on the door? I guess it wouldn’t really matter, because it is our bedroom and they can have one in their future.

We used to steal moments together when the kids were younger…planning never really worked.

Yes, we did that too!!! On a weekend when they were watching a movie in the basement!

 

[RubyWannabe]

Hi, Traddy,
When our kids were little, they took naps. Now we “take naps”! My parents used to say that about every Sunday afternoon when I was a kid, and I believed them… until I heard myself say it once. Then I went “Hey, wait a minute, I bet mom and dad…” You get it. Anyway, your older one can watch your younger one.

RubyWannabe

 

[Em_in_FL]

Yes, we did that too!!! On a weekend when they were watching a movie in the basement!

Hi, Traddy,
When our kids were little, they took naps. Now we “take naps”! My parents used to say that about every Sunday afternoon when I was a kid, and I believed them… until I heard myself say it once. Then I went “Hey, wait a minute, I bet mom and dad…” You get it. Anyway, your older one can watch your younger one.

RubyWannabe

We’ve used both these as ways to get away!
Setting up a movie for the boys on TV downstairs, while we sneek upstairs is a weekly occurrence for us! And we always tell them we’re just going to take a nap… or we need to “talk”…

I’m sure one day they’ll figure it out… gosh, I hope not for a while! LOL!

 

[Traddy]

We’ve used both these as ways to get away!
Setting up a movie for the boys on TV downstairs, while we sneek upstairs is a weekly occurrence for us! And we always tell them we’re just going to take a nap… or we need to “talk”…

I’m sure one day they’ll figure it out… gosh, I hope not for a while! LOL!

A movie is becoming challenging for us to use sometimes because our children are different ages and the younger two have different interests when it comes to TV entertainment. It usually works out some way or another but when they’re a little iffy on a movie for all of them to watch and at the same time we really want to be in the bedroom, we tell them that they have to watch whatever we put on for them because ‘we need to go over some very important things’ and we can’t be disturbed.

I hope they don’t figure it out either!!

 

[PaulinVA]

My kids are all in school, so I have gotten into the habit of taking First Fridays off. After daily mass, confession, and a stop at Starbucks, there’s plenty of time until the kids come home. It’s Phase III at least half the time, and the other half we go to lunch or shopping or whatever.

 

[GratefulDad]

–even when your kids get older, it’s still challenging to find private time together. By that point, they ‘know’ what mom and dad are doing in the bedroom.

I would agree with whatevergirl it does not get easier as the children get older, you just have to be more creative. and I think these are just the circumstances that the men excel at. Quick thinking, fast on our feet or … what ever and work well under pressure.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Husband → :yawn: I think that I am going to take a nap.

Wife → http://bestsmileys.com/yawning/1.gif I have a headache, I need to lay down.

 

[PaulinVA]

and I think these are just the circumstances that the men excel at. Quick thinking, fast on our feet or … what ever and work well under pressure.

Yeah, but if all the blood has left our brain for other places…

 

[Gisella]

When it comes to the older ones, alcohol and pizza are great distractions. It would’ve worked for me as teen.

 

[Traddy]

When it comes to the older ones, alcohol and pizza are great distractions. It would’ve worked for me as teen.

Good idea for the future! LOL

Once the kids make more friends they can have sleepovers, yay! More time for daddy and mommy alone!

 

[texaspanda]

This thread is great!

*Reminds me of all the little excuses we come up with for a few moments spent alone in our room. *

*Not planning is very important except for one thing: *
Monthly dinner out without kids. I swear 100% by it. I believe that it is completely essential to keep time between you and your spouse so that you don’t forget who you fell in love with or forget who each other are. I would hate for the day to come when all my babes are gone and I look at my husband and say, “Oh! Who are you!?” So other than that, keeping an open mind and using any spare moments that you can is a great way to go.

 

[Just_wondering]

My parents had an agreement with a family that lived about an hour away from us. They looked after the four of us “so we could get our dose of culture in the city” for a weekend, and then my parents looked after their three kids “so they could experience life in the country” for a weekend. This happened at least once a month. When we became adults, my parents admitted that it was an excuse to get us out of the house for a date, but it was believable and fun for us.

When we were a little older than your kids, we’d sometimes be dropped off at the mall and given a mission (find a present for gran, get everything on this shopping list). It was presented as a learning opportunity - practice math, learn budgeting, understand the value of money and how much work my mom went to shopping for us - but I suspect it was a front for some “alone time” for my parents.

 

[Traddy]

Oops, forgot about my thread!

My parents had an agreement with a family that lived about an hour away from us. They looked after the four of us “so we could get our dose of culture in the city” for a weekend, and then my parents looked after their three kids “so they could experience life in the country” for a weekend. This happened at least once a month. When we became adults, my parents admitted that it was an excuse to get us out of the house for a date, but it was believable and fun for us.

When we were a little older than your kids, we’d sometimes be dropped off at the mall and given a mission (find a present for gran, get everything on this shopping list). It was presented as a learning opportunity - practice math, learn budgeting, understand the value of money and how much work my mom went to shopping for us - but I suspect it was a front for some “alone time” for my parents.

Hehe, smart parents! My parents never did anything like that.

Once when we were little and were staying over at our grandmother’s place for a week, we heard the old bed in the room my parents were staying in squeak loudly for about 1 minute, and we never thought of anything like it was, but now we all know, lol!

Just last week we thought we had locked the door during our alone time (the kids were away), but we heard it open - luckily it was just the dog!!! Whew!