Balancing Marrriage and Parents

[Jay2]

I don’t get along well with my in-laws either. My FIL is a nice enough guy, a farmer, a mechanic/tinkerer… all things I’m into… but we just don’t “click”. My MIL makes me crazy. She’s got some traits & habits that make “fingernails on a chalkboard” tolerable in comparison.

Whatever’s between your DH & your father needs to be worked out. Being childish about it isn’t the solution, nor is just conveniently avoiding any contact because “I don’t want to”.

The “supporting your spouse” is just hiding behind a problem… you’re not supporting, you’re enabling. You are 50% of a marriage. With your 50% comes “baggage” (as does his 50%)… and your husband should know that he does have to magnanimously “carry the bags” from time to time.

 

[MCGar]

I really think you might need to visit this board: motherinlawstories.com/.

It’s not a faith-based board, but there are quite a few Christian and Catholic Christian posters there.

It might give you insight into how you might feel if this was the other way around and you might have an easier time deciding what to do.

You might also want to listen to Gregory Popchack on the radio.

It’s not ‘Honoring’ your parents by enabling their bad behavior and thier attempts to undermine your spouse and therefore your marriage. Marriage is a sacrament. God does not support the undermining of Sacraments.

Like the other poster mentioned, Honor your parents by praying for them and showing them a good example of a marriage, where you fully support your husband and do not let them disrespect him.

Honestly, you shouldn’t be away from him for Christmas or Easter or any big holiday. Your Sacrament comes first and foremost.

Also, you do need to straighten out this respect issue between your parents and your husband. If, heaven forbid, something were to happen to you then can you imagine if your parents toxicity towards your husband was allowed free reign? Imagine what your children would overhear or be told outright by their grandparents about their father?

Your parents are adults, you do not need to bend yourself backwards in order for them to act like adults about your marriage. It may be hard for you to realize that especially since they raised you and love you, but you aren’t doing them any favors in not standing up for your husband.