Baptism and Godparents advice please

[Justfoundit]

Hello all this is my 1st post!

Having recently re-discovered my faith I am keen to get my children baptised.
For me the godparents should be in line with cannon law ie one of each sex whom are practising Catholics. My husband is agnostic and has agreed to have them baptised if his sister (c of e non practising) can be a Godmother.

I wish to appoint Godparents whom should enrich. The faith of my children, so his sister isn’t a great option in my eyes.

Is it possible to have 2 god parents and her as a witness so to speak?
I appreciate he doesn’t want his family excluded, however I feel the ceremony is about my children’s growing faith in God and not about pleasing family members.

Also, both our children would be Baptised at the same time, so are we permitted to have 4 practising Godparents- 2 for each child?

As I have only just, in the past 4 years, rediscovered my faith it’s hard for my husband to understand and he feels I am cutting his only sibling out, hence wanting her to play some part whilst still adhering to the actual reason for the children receiving the Sacrament of Baptism

Thank you

 

[Leon_Bloy]

I would go with the feelings you expressed. I have seen how this goes with non-Catholic sponsors, and it is basically a waste to have them.

Many people think being a godparent is nothing more than something for the ceremony, or about what gift they will bring, etc.

Rather, as you know, it’s about having a solid Catholic presence in the child’s life all the way up to and into adulthood!

I am a godfather several times over and take it very seriously. I happen to know that a couple of my god-parent “spouses” do not do so!

 

[ChelleyD]

I converted 11 years ago. When our daughter was born a few months later, I wished to have my sister as one of her Godparents, even though she (my sister) was not and doesn’t intend to become Catholic. After talking with our priest I learned that only ONE of the Godparents was required to be a practicing Catholic. This allowed me to have my sister as the other. Technically, she’s not called a Godparent, but a sponsor.

It’s up to you, but I suggest you talk with your priest and give prayerful consideration to your husband’s request. Who knows? Maybe accepting his (name removed by moderator)ut on this decision will begin to open his heart toward the Church! And your SIL’s as well.

 

[CDB1718]

If I were in your shoes, I would welcome his CofE sister as one of 3 or 4 godparents. I would know that the two faithful practicing godparents would be listed as the official godparents and the other 1 or 2 listed as witnesses. In common parlance, they’re all called godparents. It’s a win-win-win.

 

[1ke]

Canon Law does not require two sponsors. It permits two sponsors, one of each sex.

You can have one Catholic sponsor and one non-Catholic Christian witness for your child’s baptism.

 

[Justfoundit]

Thank you all for your kind responses.

The dilemma I face (personally) is I would love my children’s Godparents to be my brother (who is an RC priest) and my best friend of 30 years to be Godparents to one child and my eldest son (his father tragically died 10 years ago) and my husbands niece whom are both practicing within the RC faith to stand for both the younger children.

Would it be frowned upon to have th CofE sister-in-law as a 5th “Godparent” ( remember there are 2 children, therefore 4 Godparents) ?

I would love for my brother to Baptise my children but the local parish Priest is against us using his Church with my brother conducting the ceremony - his Parish is 270 miles away, so Impractical to go there, plus I wash them to be Baptised in the local Parish.

I fear I may be over evaluating this, but as far as I am concerned my children’s spiritual and faithful well being is of upmost importance. I know how I have struggled with my faith and I fel if my Godparnts had been chosen because of their faith I would have not been apart from Gods family for so long

Thank you all for assisting mr though ths dilemma (which I am sure is trivial to some) it makes it harder as I was not a practicing RC when I met my husband, I fact I had turned my back on God, so he isn’t custom to spiritual conversations

Thank you

 

[1ke]

Would it be frowned upon to have th CofE sister-in-law as a 5th “Godparent” ( remember there are 2 children, therefore 4 Godparents) ?

A non Catholic cannot be a goparent to a Catholic at all.

A non Catholic can be a Christian witness to the baptism together with a Catholic sponsor.

I suggest you choose a Catholic sponsor (godparent) and then ask the non Catholic sister-in-law to be the Christian witness. You clearly need to find a compromise with your husband and this would be it.

 

[CDB1718]

Thank you all for your kind responses.

The dilemma I face (personally) is I would love my children’s Godparents to be my brother (who is an RC priest) and my best friend of 30 years to be Godparents to one child and my eldest son (his father tragically died 10 years ago) and my husbands niece whom are both practicing within the RC faith to stand for both the younger children.

As long as your son and niece are over 16, this is fine.

She’s not fifth. She’d be the third godparent to one of the children. She could be the third godparent to both children. Technically, she’d be a Christian witness to one or both of the children’s baptisms.

I would love for my brother to Baptise my children but the local parish Priest is against us using his Church with my brother conducting the ceremony - his Parish is 270 miles away, so Impractical to go there, plus I wash them to be Baptised in the local Parish.

He shouldn’t be both presider and godfather, so if you want him to be the child’s godfather then it is just as well.

I fear I may be over evaluating this, but as far as I am concerned my children’s spiritual and faithful well being is of upmost importance. I know how I have struggled with my faith and I fel if my Godparnts had been chosen because of their faith I would have not been apart from Gods family for so long

Having two solid Catholic godparents and a practicing CofE godparent isn’t going to be detrimental to your child’s faith. If your parents had been better involved in their faith, you would have been better catechized and they would have chosen better people to surround you with. You do the best with what you have and let God take care of the rest. Most of it starts at home.

Thank you all for assisting mr though ths dilemma (which I am sure is trivial to some) it makes it harder as I was not a practicing RC when I met my husband, I fact I had turned my back on God, so he isn’t custom to spiritual conversations

Thank you

Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face! Your agnostic husband is supporting your reversion and the baptism of your children. His only request is that his Christian sister be one of the people included in the Christian ceremony. That is not an unreasonable request and is easy to manage without any compromise on your part concerning faithful Catholic godparents. It is in your children’s best interest that there be peace in your home as you pursue their Christian education. Be happy for this blessing and warmly welcome his sister as a godparent! The more you meet his easy request, the more supported and involved he will be in the children’s faith life in the future.

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