Baptism confusion

[Delphine]

I have a question that I need some help on. My husband I are in the RCIA. I was baptized a Catholic and need the other sacraments. He was baptized in an emergency as an infant and received 1st communion in “rural” Mexico.

There are no records of his baptism and his parents and godparents are deceased. The church is requiring documentation of the baptism before we can have our marriage validated and receive the sacraments. He is refusing-- and I mean absolutely refusing --to be conditionly baptized because he says that God and himself know he has already received the sacrament. I’ve tried to talk and reason with him but the only response I get is that the church is making too many rules and that they cannot accept the word of honor in place of paperwork–he states that why would he put his soul in jeopardy by lying. He has a good point.

This whole situation is getting so complicated. I can’t receive communion until the marriage is validated-and I can’t get married until we have his baptism verified. I’ve been in RCIA off and on since 2000 trying to figure this out. HELP!!! I am almost going to give up on the church because of the difficult manner of having someone like myself come into full communion. Don’t you think the priest could just make some kind of okay due to special circumstances? If my husband doesn’t want to comply with the rules of the church why should that affect my soul? It’s not as if we have had past marriages that we are trying to have annulled. This is just a simple case of trying to receive the sacraments with a lot of red tape.

Please offer me some kind solutions as I am very frustrated and about to give up!!! Thanks.

 

[JimG]

If he was baptized in an emergency as an infant, how can HE even be sure about his baptism? And if he received first communion in Mexico, that parish would presumably have asked for some documentation of his Baptism. Do they not have any records?

 

[stbruno]

This will take patience on your part and constant prayer as well. However, I do believe you have recourse to talk to his relatives.Go back to the parish he may have received his first communion and ask them to check records for you. As for your husband, don’t yell or threaten him…buttter him up…Explain to him how this gift of being able to validate your marriage will make the next years even better and stronger for you. You know how to do that. Wives and husbands always know how to find the softer side of their spouse. Do it with patience, kindness and great love. He will come around if you can’t find the records…Trust in the Lord.

 

[Delphine]

He knew he was baptized because his grandma and parents told him. He also knew his godparents as a child. The problem is they have ALL passed away within the last decade. The church where he had his first communion is the in the same pueblo where he was baptized. They used the honor system and his grandma verified the baptism to the priest. No documentation was required. He doesn’t have documents for his first communion either–and he was 15 then. Only very recently have they started to record things. You have to remember this is a very small place with no permanent priest. One only came twice a year*(missionary priest). Receiving the sacraments was seen as more important than paper work. It is very rural–nothing like in the USA. Hard for us to imagine. I’ve spent more than $100 in phone calls to Mexico only to find out that it was never oficially recorded. Very frustrating. UGH!!! I don’t think Christ meant it to be this difficult.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

First does he understand that Conditional Baptism is NOT re-Baptism. That it takes place privately with only the priest and two witnesses?

The other option is to write the Bishop and explain his case and let the Bishop decide.

If neither of you has any prior Marriage. His Baptismal situation should not have any impact on your reception into the Church.

 

[Delphine]

That’s good to know. The way it was explained to me is that the Baptism would occur at the Easter Vigil with a sponsor. That I would then be given my sacraments at the same time at the vigil and we would have to live as “Brother and Sister” for about a week until the marriage could be validated. Apparently it cannot be validated at the vigil. The parish did that a previous year and got disiplined by the Bishop.

That’s the confusing part. The Church doesn’t have a consistent way of conveying what needs to be done. So far they haven’t been willing to give him a private Baptism. Which is leading to his rebellion. Not to mention the fact that he is coming out of a period of time spent in the Assembly of God church where it is Sola Scriptura. Hard for people to understand tradition when they have been introduced to that theology. He has a bit of a mind block at the moment.