Baptism Dilemma

[Jujubee22]

I have a sensitive issue and hope someone will know the answer to this. I was raised Catholic, however, my husband was not and has no religious belief. I had gotten away from the church, until my 10 year old son expressed an interest in getting baptised. My husband said he had no problem with that, but that he did not want to be put in a situation at church where he would be made to feel comfortable, or be expected to say something he did not believe.

My son and I have attended the necessary classes for him to be baptised, and we are both very excited for his big day.

I have been told that as parents, we only will be asked during the ceremony what we want for our son, to which we respond “Baptism”. The other questions asked, will be directed to my son, for him to answer himself. I want to ensure this is all that will be asked of my husband so he is not put in an awkward position. I do not want to ruin this day for my son by having an awkward moment in church. I think it would look odd if I was with my son during the baptism, and my husband sitting in the pew…so I really would like him to be a part of this - for my son.

Does anyone know for sure what question(s) is directed toward the parents of a child old enough to answer for himself? I’m embarrassed to ask the direct question to our priest.

 

[1ke]

You need to talk to your priest.

Your child is over the age of reason, therefore no questions would be directed to you. Your child should receive all of the sacraments of initiation-- baptism, confirmation, and eucharist.

Since Easter Vigil is only a few days away, I am confused as to why you and your son have not already had numerous conversations with your priest.

 

[Jujubee22]

Yes, my son will be making all three sacraments of initiation.

We have had a number of classes, in a group setting - not individually.

 

[CDB1718]

Don’t put your husband on the spot like that. If you have to ask, you shouldn’t expect it from him. Be happy that he’ll sit in the pew and be thrilled that you have a husband who would even stand beside you as long as you weren’t asking him to lie. He sounds like a stand-up guy. Respect that by beaming proudly in his direction where he’s sitting in the pew.

 

[Jujubee22]

Thank you…you are so right. I should not put him in this position if it makes him uncomfortable.

Would it be acceptable to the church if it were just the godparents and me?

 

[CDB1718]

Thank you…you are so right. I should not put him in this position if it makes him uncomfortable.

Would it be acceptable to the church if it were just the godparents and me?

No one will bat an eye. It’s a non-issue.

 

[Jujubee22]

Thank you so much!!

 

[drdaz]

Don’t put your husband on the spot like that. If you have to ask, you shouldn’t expect it from him. Be happy that he’ll sit in the pew and be thrilled that you have a husband who would even stand beside you as long as you weren’t asking him to lie. He sounds like a stand-up guy. Respect that by beaming proudly in his direction where he’s sitting in the pew

I agree completely!!!

 

[BrJuniper]

I have a sensitive issue and hope someone will know the answer to this. I was raised Catholic, however, my husband was not and has no religious belief. I had gotten away from the church, until my 10 year old son expressed an interest in getting baptised. My husband said he had no problem with that, but that he did not want to be put in a situation at church where he would be made to feel comfortable, or be expected to say something he did not believe.

My son and I have attended the necessary classes for him to be baptised, and we are both very excited for his big day.

I have been told that as parents, we only will be asked during the ceremony what we want for our son, to which we respond “Baptism”. The other questions asked, will be directed to my son, for him to answer himself. I want to ensure this is all that will be asked of my husband so he is not put in an awkward position. I do not want to ruin this day for my son by having an awkward moment in church. I think it would look odd if I was with my son during the baptism, and my husband sitting in the pew…so I really would like him to be a part of this - for my son.

Does anyone know for sure what question(s) is directed toward the parents of a child old enough to answer for himself? I’m embarrassed to ask the direct question to our priest.

This is a sacrament. Overcome you embarrassment or have your son wait till he reaches 18.

 

[AnnArbor]

Thank you…you are so right. I should not put him in this position if it makes him uncomfortable.

Would it be acceptable to the church if it were just the godparents and me?

Since your son is 10, I am not understanding why you would be up there --it should just be him and his sponsor. And you shouldn’t be asked what are requesting – that question should be directed to your son.

 

[1ke]

Since your son is 10, I am not understanding why you would be up there --it should just be him and his sponsor. And you shouldn’t be asked what are requesting – that question should be directed to your son.

Exactly.

 

[Jujubee22]

Juniper…why if my son has approached us to be baptised would I tell him to wait 8 years because of me?? sorry, but I think that suggestion does not fit my dilemma at all.

Thanks to the others that answered nicely. I greatly appreciate it.

I have talked to the church representative and we are all set with things. I was worrying over nothing…i sometimes do that!

My son has the choice of going up with just his godparents or inviting others up with him. Since this is his day, i will leave the decision up to him.

Again, thank you for taking the time to respond to my dilemma!

 

[simmie]

Hi

I am pleased that you have managed to discuss those questions at Church. don’t worry, it’s quite normal to have questions!

This is a great moment for your son, I hope you can enjoy this together as a family.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Congrats jujubee on raising such a wonderful young man.