Baptism etiquette

[gardenswithkids]

What is the proper etiquette to request a different priest to baptize our baby? Baptisms are typically done by our pastor or deacon two days a month. My husband and I want to request that another priest we know perform the ceremony. I don’t even know if his tight time schedule will have room for doing it, and I don’t know how receptive our pastor would be to the change. Should I check with the pastor first to ask his approval before I ask the other priest?

 

[tiny_smommy]

I would talk to the priest first. They will usually allow it, but they sometimes don’t like it, especially if the priest is from somewhere else. Priests sometimes feel slighted like everybody else. I had a friend who was a Catholic convert and she wanted to be married in the Catholic church in her hometown so that her family could all be there, but she wanted a priest that she knew to perform the ceremony. The priest allowed it, but he really didn’t like it. He felt insulted. Now, this was a very small parish and this particular priest has been there for close to 20 years, so he thinks of it as his home, you know. It should be okay, but remember that you are asking a man to step aside for another man who you prefer. Priests are men too, and have the same reactions as the rest of us.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Are you planning on having it in your home parish, or the parish of the priest you know, or an oratory? And is the priest you know a relative, even a cousin or in-law? If so, be sure to mention this when you request it in writing, not just a phone call (and make a copy for your records).

Otherwise, it’s pretty much what Tiny’s mom said.

 

[axolotl]

We recently had an auxiliary bishop come out and conduct the baptisms at our parish. He was friends with the parents of one of the children being baptized. Since he was in the neighborhood, he also celebrated the 12:15 mass. Our pastor didn’t seem to mind.

 

[gardenswithkids]

As tiny’(name removed by moderator)my brought up it might offend our pastor, so I’m not sure I want to push this. I already have a somewhat strained relationship with him, and I don’t want to make it worse. It would certainly be easier to request this if the other priest was a relative or long time personal friend, but that’s not the case.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Thank you all for your replies. No, we’re not related to the other priest, but he is someone who has been particularly helpful to us. He often celebrates Mass and fills in at our parish, but my husband met him prior to that, and we share mutual friends. My husband does not believe our pastor would mind at all. I suspect the pastor might be offended (as tiny’(name removed by moderator)my also suggested), which is why I posted this question to all of you on etiquette. There’s a little more to the story, but I don’t want to post it on the internet. But this isn’t simply a case of being petty about a ceremony.