Baptism for older autistic son

[agp2176]

I have a question about baptism that needs a bit of background before it can be answered.

My wife and I got married a few months ago. She became a Catholic at Easter 2007. She was baptized an Anglican, and drifted from being unchurched to evangelical churches for years prior to embracing the Catholic church.

She was previously married and has a son who is in his mid 20. Her son is autistic, and while able to somewhat take care of himself, and has a job, etc lives in a group with other autistic men. Problem is that he was never baptized.

Another note. He is on the west coast – we are on the east coast.

So – now that my wife understands the importance of baptism, she is pained by the fact that he has not received the sacrament.

So – what can we do.

1. Do we somehow get him baptized a Catholic? Problem is that he may not understand the concepts or the faith. (He does believe in God and Jesus). He wouldn’t be able to go to church as we are so far apart. In other words we couldn’t be there to guide his faith formation. We are unsure if he would understand communion, confirmation, reconciliation or the Mass, so can he just be baptized.
2. If the Catholic church says we have to go the whole route (communion, confirmation etc), should we get him baptized according to the trinitarian formula in another church?
3. Can we baptize him as a part of what I think is called baptism of will?

Obviously we would both LOVE to see him as a Catholic, but our greater concern is for his soul being washed of original sin. We trust in God’s mercy for the rest

Any advise

Tony

 

[joeybaggz]

I don’t think the Church has any problem with baptizing an adult who has diminshed mental capabilities. I think it encourages it.

As to the rest of your quesions, I think you’d be best served by finding a priest you are comfortable with and trust, describe the situation, and let him take it from there.

My two cents.

 

[SMHW]

I second the suggestion to speak to your priest.

Adults with less than usual mental capacity can certainly be baptized. The question is whether or not he could be baptized on the word of his parents or would need to consent to baptism himself. It sounds as if he probably has the capability to chose for himself, much as a young child above the age of reason would chose for himself to be baptized.

It would no doubt require a fair amount of effort on the part of you and your wife since your stepson doesn’t live near you. But you never know what can be done until your ask. Perhaps your priest has a contact in the area where your stepson lives who could help.

 

[Joannm]

Twice I had autistic young people in RCIA, They did great.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

I have baptized young people (not adults) who have autism and there was no problem. For an adult a priest would have to do the baptism since he would also be confirmed and make his first communion at the same time. A good, caring priest should be able to do this. However, your wife’s son would need to be involved and evidence a desire to do this.

BTW, “baptism of will” applies only to oneself, never to another and refers to one who has formed the intention to be baptized and actively tried to be baptized but was prevented from doing so by death (as long as one is alive there is still hope to be baptized).

Deacon Ed

 

[agp2176]

I have baptized young people (not adults) who have autism and there was no problem. For an adult a priest would have to do the baptism since he would also be confirmed and make his first communion at the same time. A good, caring priest should be able to do this. However, your wife’s son would need to be involved and evidence a desire to do this.

Thanks Deacon Ed

Even though my wife’s son (my step-son) is an adult, would we have to seek permission from his father (my wife’s ex-husband – who BTW is a non-believer) before anything could be done?

Thanks

Tony

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I have a question about baptism that needs a bit of background before it can be answered.

My wife and I got married a few months ago. She became a Catholic at Easter 2007. She was baptized an Anglican, and drifted from being unchurched to evangelical churches for years prior to embracing the Catholic church.

She was previously married and has a son who is in his mid 20. Her son is autistic, and while able to somewhat take care of himself, and has a job, etc lives in a group with other autistic men. Problem is that he was never baptized.

Another note. He is on the west coast – we are on the east coast.

So – now that my wife understands the importance of baptism, she is pained by the fact that he has not received the sacrament.

So – what can we do.

1. Do we somehow get him baptized a Catholic? Problem is that he may not understand the concepts or the faith. (He does believe in God and Jesus). He wouldn’t be able to go to church as we are so far apart. In other words we couldn’t be there to guide his faith formation. We are unsure if he would understand communion, confirmation, reconciliation or the Mass, so can he just be baptized.
2. If the Catholic church says we have to go the whole route (communion, confirmation etc), should we get him baptized according to the trinitarian formula in another church?
3. Can we baptize him as a part of what I think is called baptism of will?

Obviously we would both LOVE to see him as a Catholic, but our greater concern is for his soul being washed of original sin. We trust in God’s mercy for the rest

Any advise

Tony

You should contact the pastor of the parish where he lives and explain the situation. It is possible depending on the specific mental capacity and situation that he could be Baptized using the Rite for Infants and Children who are not of catechetical age. No preparation would be required except to explain to him what would happen, so he won’t react. You and the people that care for him should of course be there as well as someone to act a Godparent.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Thanks Deacon Ed

Even though my wife’s son (my step-son) is an adult, would we have to seek permission from his father (my wife’s ex-husband – who BTW is a non-believer) before anything could be done?

Thanks

Tony

No, I don’t believe so.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Thanks Deacon Ed

Even though my wife’s son (my step-son) is an adult, would we have to seek permission from his father (my wife’s ex-husband – who BTW is a non-believer) before anything could be done?

Thanks

Tony

Br. Rich is correct. Assuming the young man is living on his own and is not a dependent of his father then the father does not need to be contacted.

Deacon Ed

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Br. Rich is correct. Assuming the young man is living on his own and is not a dependent of his father then the father does not need to be contacted.

Deacon Ed

Would it not be correct also that even if he were to be Baptized as an infant or child under catechetical age. Since they are no longer Married and his mother is now Catholic (I think I read that right) Only she would need to present him for Baptism.

 

[puzzleannie]

in general canonically a mentally impaired adult is considered an infant for the purposes of the sacraments, and is baptized in the faith of his parents, who bring him to baptism. The key is “mentally impaired”. Autism has such a wide range of capacity it is not possible to state for an individual without knowing him. To the extent that he can be instructed in the basics of the faith, and evangelized he should be, but it needs someone who knows him well to assess his abilities. If he is baptized he should be confirmed at the same time, and receive communion (if there is not a physical or behavioral reason why he cannot receive). If he has the ability to learn and know who Jesus is and express a desire for baptism, he may not, canonically, be denied.

If he does not have that ability, and his parents request baptism for him, it may not canonically be denied. It will probably be necessary for his mother to travel out there, contact a priest and explain the situation. if he is living in some type of group home I assume arrangments are made to bring residents to churches of their choice. However, sometimes behavioral issues make it impossible for these people to attend Mass, that again is an individual assessment, and may change over time.