Baptism of a teen, against guardians wishes

  • Thread starter Thread starter maryjk
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

maryjk

Guest
I have searched and searched the forums and the internet for information on this.

Has anyone ever heard of a teen being baptized because they want it, even though their parents/guardians don’t?

And if so, at what age?

There is a young lady at our parish that wants to be baptized. Her parents are dead. She lives with another family member, but that family member does not have “legal guardianship.” ( Not that, that means anything.) She is 16. The family member doesn’t have a problem with the young lady attending Mass or going to CYO, they just don’t want her to be baptized.
 
maryjk said:
I have searched and searched the forums and the internet for information on this.

Has anyone ever heard of a teen being baptized because they want it, even though their parents/guardians don’t?

And if so, at what age?

There is a young lady at our parish that wants to be baptized. Her parents are dead. She lives with another family member, but that family member does not have “legal guardianship.” ( Not that, that means anything.) She is 16. The family member doesn’t have a problem with the young lady attending Mass or going to CYO, they just don’t want her to be baptized.
Click to expand...
Strange. I think a talk between this guardian and your priest is in order, to find out why, given that they will allow her to attend Mass etc, they will not allow her to be baptised. Perhaps they think they have some sort of obligation to raise her Catholic? Not true - though the godparent does.

Such a talk is likely to yield better results than trying to just go over the guardian’s head, and pastoral considerations of this sort should be a factor in any decision made by the parish.
 
Why would they be opposed to baptism? Perhaps she was baptised shortly after birth?
 
maryjk said:
I have searched and searched the forums and the internet for information on this.

Has anyone ever heard of a teen being baptized because they want it, even though their parents/guardians don’t?

And if so, at what age?

There is a young lady at our parish that wants to be baptized. Her parents are dead. She lives with another family member, but that family member does not have “legal guardianship.” ( Not that, that means anything.) She is 16. The family member doesn’t have a problem with the young lady attending Mass or going to CYO, they just don’t want her to be baptized.
Click to expand...
Insufficient information.
 
You know society is warped when a 16 year old needs her guardians’ consent to be baptized but not to have sex, buy artificial birth control and have an abortion.
 
Your question is - has anyone heard of this happening. While I personally have not heard of it, I can imagine it happens all the time.

What is the age of consent in the Philippines? If she’s old enough to make this decision for herself, then her guardian has no say in the matter.

Sounds like your priest needs to reach out to this family and have a conversation. NOT the RCIA person – the priest needs to do this. I only say this because he is the one who will administer the sacrament in this non-typical situation, and needs to understand the family’s concerns and wishes. as well as those of the girl in question.

~Liza
 
thistle said:
Insufficient information.
Click to expand...
Thank you. [edited]

If you want more information simply ask.
Phemie said:
You know society is warped when a 16 year old needs her guardians’ consent to be baptized but not to have sex, buy artificial birth control and have an abortion.
Click to expand...
Sad isn’t it?
lizaanne said:
Your question is - has anyone heard of this happening. While I personally have not heard of it, I can imagine it happens all the time.

What is the age of consent in the Philippines? If she’s old enough to make this decision for herself, then her guardian has no say in the matter.
Click to expand...
:confused:
She lives in the USA.
Sounds like your priest needs to reach out to this family and have a conversation. NOT the RCIA person – the priest needs to do this. I only say this because he is the one who will administer the sacrament in this non-typical situation, and needs to understand the family’s concerns and wishes. as well as those of the girl in question.
Click to expand...
~Liza
Click to expand...
I have an appointment with the priest

According to the family member, they regret being baptized. 🤷 Which to me makes no sense. If the family member believes in God then Baptism is a good thing. If they don’t believe, then all they did was get wet. What is there to regret?
 
maryjk said:
:confused:
She lives in the USA.
I have an appointment with the priest

According to the family member, they regret being baptized. 🤷 Which to me makes no sense. If the family member believes in God then Baptism is a good thing. If they don’t believe, then all they did was get wet. What is there to regret?
Click to expand...
My apologies - I saw that thistle is in Philippines, and I thought I was looking at your post. :o

One person’s personal regret should have nothing to do with another persons desire to be baptized. The priest will absolutely need to get involved here.

But my original question is still valid - 16 is the age of consent in may states, so it is worth looking into. If she legally has the ability to make this decision for herself, then what that “guardian” feels about it is irrelevant.

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
My apologies - I saw that thistle is in Philippines, and I thought I was looking at your post. :o

One person’s personal regret should have nothing to do with another persons desire to be baptized. The priest will absolutely need to get involved here.

But my original question is still valid - 16 is the age of consent in may states, so it is worth looking into. If she legally has the ability to make this decision for herself, then what that “guardian” feels about it is irrelevant.

~Liza
Click to expand...
I have heard about age of consent for sexual relations. Here it is 16, but does anyone know if that equates to asking for Baptism?
 
I’m not an expert but I believe that a minor needs the approval of a parent/guardian in order to be baptized. I haven’t worked with teens in RCIA but have had younger children. There is a line during the Rite of Acceptance where the parents state that they support their child’s desire for baptism. That line may be optional, but the idea is still present that these are minors under their parents’ care.

The good news for this teen is that she is close to being a legal adult. Perhaps she could start RCIA (assuming the guardian allows it) with the idea of receiving the sacraments in two years when she turns 18.

Hopefully your priest will have more information. If not, try at the diocesan level.
 
maryjk said:
Thank you. [edited]
If you want more information simply ask.

Sad isn’t it?
:confused:
She lives in the USA.
I have an appointment with the priest

According to the family member, they regret being baptized. 🤷 Which to me makes no sense. If the family member believes in God then Baptism is a good thing. If they don’t believe, then all they did was get wet. What is there to regret?
Click to expand...
[edited]

I said not enough information because, for example, you don’t even say how the girl knows she is not baptised. She’s 16 and both her parents are dead.
 
thistle said:
[edited]

I said not enough information because, for example, you don’t even say how the girl knows she is not baptised. She’s 16 and both her parents are dead.
Click to expand...
She has not been Baptized. She knows this, her family knows this. Her parents haven’t always been dead, and they knew it.

What difference does it make how she knows? It doesn’t change the scenario at all.
 
I would see if the Priest can reach out to the girl’s guardians and see if they would be willing to discuss the situation.

If they are unwilling, then I would say the best thing to do would be for her to participate as much as possible (attend RCIA and Mass) and get prepared as much as she can for the Sacraments. Then proceed with Baptism and the other Sacraments on her 18th birthday. That way she’ll have plenty of time to prepare with religious ed before she is recieved into the Church.
 
maryjk said:
There is a young lady at our parish that wants to be baptized. Her parents are dead. She lives with another family member, but that family member does not have “legal guardianship.” ( Not that, that means anything.) She is 16. The family member doesn’t have a problem with the young lady attending Mass or going to CYO, they just don’t want her to be baptized.
Click to expand...
Bolded part mine. It actually does mean something. Who is her legal guardian? That person is the only one who has any legal say with regard to this young lady’s affairs. I do not know if parental/guardian permission is required for a 16 year old to be baptised, but if it is, then it would be up to the legal guardian, appointed by the courts, to give that permission. While the family with whom she lives certainly have significant influence on her life, they do not have legal status.
If I recall correctly, though, the Church states that children under 7 must have the parent/guardian request baptism, but those older than 7 must ask for it of their own accord.
 
juno24 said:
Bolded part mine. It actually does mean something. Who is her legal guardian? That person is the only one who has any legal say with regard to this young lady’s affairs. I do not know if parental/guardian permission is required for a 16 year old to be baptised, but if it is, then it would be up to the legal guardian, appointed by the courts, to give that permission. While the family with whom she lives certainly have significant influence on her life, they do not have legal status.
If I recall correctly, though, the Church states that children under 7 must have the parent/guardian request baptism, but those older than 7 must ask for it of their own accord.
Click to expand...
Legally?? No one.

She was living with the family member before her father died. Her father, of course, was her guardian. (Yes, I know this)

When he died, the family member didn’t do anything. Since no one has questioned them, they don’t plan do anything.
 
Suppose that girl walks out of the church after mass and gets hit by a car. She’s obviously dying and requests baptism again, would it be denied to her?
 
Credo_ergo_sum said:
Suppose that girl walks out of the church after mass and gets hit by a car. She’s obviously dying and requests baptism again, would it be denied to her?
Click to expand...
No, it wouldn’t because even babies whose parents don’t want them baptized can licitly be baptized if in danger of death.
 
Do children who are not wards of the state usually go without having a legal guardian assigned to them when both parents are deceased?:confused:
 
maryjk - this is pretty simple - just do a Google search for “age of consent” and the name of your state. I’m sure it’s very easy to find, along with what fall under that definition. I’ll do it myself if you tell me what state we are talking about - but without knowing that piece of detail it’s impossible to know.

~Liza
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top