Baptism of infant, Cath non practicing parents

[worriedgramma]

Good afternoon,
I am new to this site, and I am woefully sorry if this has been answered and re answered. I have tried to find the answer to this question online and on this website, but haven’t been successful. My third grandson, (6mos) old was to be Baptized at a family Reunion in No Carolina in July. My entire family IS RC. My children were raised Cath… their other 2 children were Baptized, Cath.
Well, this 3rd child had health problems in utero and at birth, and they lapsed. They were sent a notice from their parish saying since they hadn’t contributed financially they would not be considered members. I tried to convince them all they had to do was explain the situation. But they were insulted, and then joined a non denominational Church.
I was happy that at least they hadn’t turned away from Religion altogether.
But… Now the priest at the Church in NC found out they haven’t been attending RC Mass, and will not Baptize the child, saying Canon Law mandates that their is a Hope that the Child will be raised in the Catholic faith… and since they don’t practice that faith (by going to Mass), he cannot Baptize the child in the Cath faith.

Is this correct? I just cannot believe that our new Pope would think this is the way things should go? To deny a 6 month old entry in to the Church…
Please help me understand this. My daughter has even said she will go back to the Cath Church…

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Good afternoon,
I am new to this site, and I am woefully sorry if this has been answered and re answered. I have tried to find the answer to this question online and on this website, but haven’t been successful. My third grandson, (6mos) old was to be Baptized at a family Reunion in No Carolina in July. My entire family IS RC. My children were raised Cath… their other 2 children were Baptized, Cath.
Well, this 3rd child had health problems in utero and at birth, and they lapsed. They were sent a notice from their parish saying since they hadn’t contributed financially they would not be considered members. I tried to convince them all they had to do was explain the situation. But they were insulted, and then joined a non denominational Church.
I was happy that at least they hadn’t turned away from Religion altogether.
But… Now the priest at the Church in NC found out they haven’t been attending RC Mass, and will not Baptize the child, saying Canon Law mandates that their is a Hope that the Child will be raised in the Catholic faith… and since they don’t practice that faith (by going to Mass), he cannot Baptize the child in the Cath faith.

Is this correct? I just cannot believe that our new Pope would think this is the way things should go? To deny a 6 month old entry in to the Church…
Please help me understand this. My daughter has even said she will go back to the Cath Church…

Before addressing the other issues, I just can’t buy that a parish sent that letter. Did you see it? Is there a chance it was taken the wrong way? A parish is a geographical boundary. A Catholic (practicing or not) is a "member of a parish regardless of contribution.

 

[worriedgramma]

I didn’t see that original letter, if you mean the one re the donations… I do know that the Church they were in, does ask specifically for Stewardship, and they probably DID take it the wrong way as most young ppl do when asked for something.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I didn’t see that original letter, if you mean the one re the donations… I do know that the Church they were in, does ask specifically for Stewardship, and they probably DID take it the wrong way as most young ppl do when asked for something.

Ok.

Well a couple of things. You are right, the “new Pope” doesn’t think that way and has hinted at a more liberal use of baptism.

However, priests and bishops are bound by Church law. And it is well within a priests right to dicern who is disposed to recieve a sacrament. You can do lots of things here. You can write the Bishop, find another priest, or best case scenario, become practicing members of the parish and baptize the baby. Or even baptize the baby in a trinitarian formula in whatever Christian Church they are currently members of.

One reason why there has to be a reasonable expectation action they will be Catholic is that baptism binds one to the Church. Meaning one must “be” Catholic. By leaving they may have shown to the priest a weak faith and so he may have concerns about baptizing. And again, not only is that ok, it’s prescribed.

Now I’m going to address just you for a second

I’m always amazed at grandparents ( and there are a ton of them) who pressure and freak out about baptism for thier grandchildren. When the parents are the ones charged with this and faith formation of their own children. You should be more concerned with your own children (child) that has left the faith.

You CANNOT take this upon yourself and baptize.

 

[ffg]

Good afternoon,
I am new to this site, and I am woefully sorry if this has been answered and re answered. I have tried to find the answer to this question online and on this website, but haven’t been successful. My third grandson, (6mos) old was to be Baptized at a family Reunion in No Carolina in July. My entire family IS RC. My children were raised Cath… their other 2 children were Baptized, Cath.
Well, this 3rd child had health problems in utero and at birth, and they lapsed. They were sent a notice from their parish saying since they hadn’t contributed financially they would not be considered members. I tried to convince them all they had to do was explain the situation. But they were insulted, and then joined a non denominational Church.
I was happy that at least they hadn’t turned away from Religion altogether.
But… Now the priest at the Church in NC found out they haven’t been attending RC Mass, and will not Baptize the child, saying Canon Law mandates that their is a Hope that the Child will be raised in the Catholic faith… and since they don’t practice that faith (by going to Mass), he cannot Baptize the child in the Cath faith.

Is this correct? I just cannot believe that our new Pope would think this is the way things should go? To deny a 6 month old entry in to the Church…
Please help me understand this. My daughter has even said she will go back to the Cath Church…

I understand your frustration. - I’m no canon lawyer, but per what is done in Baptism, yes it seems correct.

Consider what the priest has to ask during baptism -

A couple sections of the baptism format -

"You have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so you are accepting the responsibility of training him (her) in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring him (her) up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?

Parents: We do.

Then the celebrant turns to the godparents and addresses them in these or similar words:

Are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?

Godparents: We do."

Before renewing the parents and godparents baptismal vows…

"On your part, you must make it your constant care to bring him (her) up in the practice of the faith. See that the divine life which God gives him (her) is kept safe from the poison of sin, to grow always stronger in his (her) heart.

If your faith makes you ready to accept this responsibility, renew now the vows of your own baptism. Reject sin; profess your faith in Christ Jesus. This is the faith of the Church. This is the faith in which this child is about to be baptized."

Simply from an angle of honesty with God, the priest can’t baptize a child of parents who have no intent to hold the above responsibilities.

Who are showing such by not practicing the faith.

I agree with you, they should have discussed the letter rather than run because of it.

To the priest, the money would not be the issue. We’ve had our kids baptized out of town because family would be together, but we had to get all the paperwork in order. We were not contributing anything to the Church where we did the baptism.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Realistically look at it from Fathers perspective. Former members join a new, non Catholic, Church. They are under a different pastor, he cannot baptize the child of members of a different Church!!! Imagine the wars that would start!!!

 

[otjm]

Good afternoon,
I am new to this site, and I am woefully sorry if this has been answered and re answered. I have tried to find the answer to this question online and on this website, but haven’t been successful. My third grandson, (6mos) old was to be Baptized at a family Reunion in No Carolina in July. My entire family IS RC. My children were raised Cath… their other 2 children were Baptized, Cath.
Well, this 3rd child had health problems in utero and at birth, and they lapsed. They were sent a notice from their parish saying since they hadn’t contributed financially they would not be considered members. I tried to convince them all they had to do was explain the situation. But they were insulted, and then joined a non denominational Church.
I was happy that at least they hadn’t turned away from Religion altogether.
But… Now the priest at the Church in NC found out they haven’t been attending RC Mass, and will not Baptize the child, saying Canon Law mandates that their is a Hope that the Child will be raised in the Catholic faith… and since they don’t practice that faith (by going to Mass), he cannot Baptize the child in the Cath faith.

Is this correct? I just cannot believe that our new Pope would think this is the way things should go? To deny a 6 month old entry in to the Church…
Please help me understand this. My daughter has even said she will go back to the Cath Church…

To put it (perhaps a bit crassly) in the vernacular: God said, “This is the way you are going to do it (become children of God)” - that is, we are required to baptize. He did not say “This is the way I am required…” which is another way of saying, we are bound by the sacraments, but God is not. The child has no say in the matter; but the parents do - they are responsible for the child’s salvation, until such time the child assumes that responsibility.

What you have been told above is the way it is. If the child is baptized in (one of almost all) of the Christian churches, the Catholic Church recognizes that baptism and will not baptize again.

This is harsh, and I do not presume fault on your part at all - but your child and their spouse are flakes. Whether it was money, or something else, they have left the one true Church; they have left the Eucharist, they have left all the other sacraments, and obviously they make decisions based on emotions, not truth and facts. They are adults, so they are responsible.

You can pray - and do so, daily- for your grandchild, for your child, for their spouse, and for the Holy Spirit to guide them. Trusting God in this matter is going to be hard - I thoroughly understand. But that is, realistically what you have left. Keep them in prayer. God really does hear our prayers.

 

[worriedgramma]

Hoosier daddy,
The thing is, they Are Catholic in every other way… if that makes any sense… they teach their children Catholic teachings. Prayers… bible, … they still attend Mass occasionally albeit very occasionally.
They joined the non denominational bc they wanted a place to be able to gather w friends and feel like they weren’t being pressured for money and time at a time when they couldn’t give either.
Do I think they over reacted … certainly .
However I do believe it is circumstances like this that just push ppl further away from the Church.

Re my role as a grandmother… that made me chuckle…
I did not push AT all. While I do certainly want my gr children Baptizzed I never once mentioned it to her. Not one time. And this was because of the very issue we are discussing. Bc I was afraid to push her further away. I wanted it to be their decision. And it was. So I was very happy. She found a church where we would all be for a family reunion. Contacted them. And then this…
so you see my frustration.

She is trying to contacting the priest at that church to talk to him and tell him she will rejoin ( she never left) her Cath parish… and bring the child up Catholic. But the secretary is like a watchdog and is not letting her get through to him. I told her to keep trying several more times. And if it doesn’t work, well then we will figure something else out.

She just wanted the family there to help celebrate. We live across the country from them

 

[worriedgramma]

To others,
No need to call them flakes… they were young and hurt…

 

[PaulfromIowa]

Remember that the fault is not with the innocent child, it is with the adults who are neglecting their obligations to attend Mass, and to educate their children in the Faith.

In order to baptize a child, the pastor needs a “founded hope” that the child will be raised Catholic.

This is a gravely serious matter which endangers the souls of the parents and their children. If you are involved in this, try to arrange a meeting with the parents and their pastor in the hopes that this situation can be resolved.

Church Code of Canon Law:

Can. 867 §1. Parents are obliged to take care that infants are baptized in the first few weeks; as soon as possible after the birth or even before it, they are to go to the pastor to request the sacrament for their child and to be prepared properly for it.

§2. An infant in danger of death is to be baptized without delay.

Can. 868 §1. For an infant to be baptized licitly:

1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;

2/ there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.

 

[worriedgramma]

Does anyone know… if the baby is Baptized in a Christian Church ( non Catholic) will that child be able to have the other Sacraments in the Catholic Church?

 

[Sy_Noe]

Good afternoon,
I am new to this site, and I am woefully sorry if this has been answered and re answered. I have tried to find the answer to this question online and on this website, but haven’t been successful. My third grandson, (6mos) old was to be Baptized at a family Reunion in No Carolina in July. My entire family IS RC. My children were raised Cath… their other 2 children were Baptized, Cath.
Well, this 3rd child had health problems in utero and at birth, and they lapsed. They were sent a notice from their parish saying since they hadn’t contributed financially they would not be considered members. I tried to convince them all they had to do was explain the situation. But they were insulted, and then joined a non denominational Church.
I was happy that at least they hadn’t turned away from Religion altogether.
But… Now the priest at the Church in NC found out they haven’t been attending RC Mass, and will not Baptize the child, saying Canon Law mandates that their is a Hope that the Child will be raised in the Catholic faith… and since they don’t practice that faith (by going to Mass), he cannot Baptize the child in the Cath faith.

Is this correct? I just cannot believe that our new Pope would think this is the way things should go? To deny a 6 month old entry in to the Church…
Please help me understand this. My daughter has even said she will go back to the Cath Church…

Your family’s story reminded me somewhat of my family’s past. My parents could not afford to make up for lapsed contributions so their parish priest refused marriage. That merely sent them to a Disciples of Christ pastor to marry outside the Catholic church. That subsequently resulted in a priest later refusing to baptize my 2 sisters. By that point in time my parents had moved to another state and thus resided in another parish from the one whose priest refused marriage because of lapsed contributions. But another priest at the second parish said he would baptize my sisters. However, he for some reason was unexpectedly called out of town and unavailable on the day of the Baptisms. And the priest who originally refused Baptism ended up having to perform the Baptisms anyway. By the time I came around, my parents had moved again and the parish priest at that time baptized me at 6 wks old. After my father passed 4 yrs later, my mother returned to Mass. And my oldest sister turned out to be a practicing Catholic for her entire adult life until her passing this yr. I wish you and yours well and hope it all works out.

 

[buc_fan33]

Does anyone know… if the baby is Baptized in a Christian Church ( non Catholic) will that child be able to have the other Sacraments in the Catholic Church?

Hi. Allow me to offer some assistance. First, since you’re new to this forum, I’m a priest.

A couple of things…first, though it’s harsh, I would agree with your children’s priest. Others have answered this, so there is really very little else I might add in that regard. Our current Holy Father did say one day that having parents who are unmarried should not be a deterrent to baptizing a child. And, I certainly agree. I’ve baptized plenty of children whose parents are not in a valid marriage. But, in each case, I’ve had a well-founded hope that the child will be raised in the faith. This is especially the case in Hispanic cultures, and not coincidentally, our Holy Father comes from such a culture and was likely faced with just this scenario in his day-to-day pastoral work as a priest and eventually the archbishop of Buenos Aires.

As it pertains to this question, unfortunately, the answer is no. If a child is baptized in another faith, be it Lutheran, Methodist, Pentecostal, E-Free, etcetera, that child is a member of that faith until such time as he or she makes a profession of faith in the Catholic Church.

Let’s talk about your daughter and son-in-law. Again, a couple of things. First, as HoosierDaddy said, I’d be surprised if a parish sent them a letter that in essence said, “You haven’t been keeping up on your stewardship. If you don’t give us money, we’re going to remove you from the books.” If they did, shame on that pastor, and I really mean that. But again, I find it hard to believe that such was said. (As an aside…we DO have a responsibility to stewardship, but that’s another post/talk for another day.) Rather, what likely happened is a letter was sent saying something along these lines,

"Dear John and Jane Doe,

Our parish records show that we have not received an envelope from you since ________. We are simply reaching out to find out if you are in need of any assistance at this time and to be sure that you are still interested in being a member of our community.

Please contact our office at ___________________

With kind regards,
Fr. ___________"

Again, not in those words exactly, but something along those lines. Anyway, whether said letter mentioned money, is a question of prudence. As I often say, “What is said (in this case written) is not always what is heard (read).”

Hopefully, your children will return to an active practice of their faith. Rather than simply leave the parish, I hope they contact their priest and express the hurt they felt in receiving such a letter and explain their situation to him. While lack of giving among Catholics, and I would say especially among millennial Catholics is a serious problem facing the Church and will only get worse in the coming years, that doesn’t mean that’s necessarily what is going on with your children.

Pray to St. Monica on their behalf.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Good afternoon,
I am new to this site, and I am woefully sorry if this has been answered and re answered. I have tried to find the answer to this question online and on this website, but haven’t been successful. My third grandson, (6mos) old was to be Baptized at a family Reunion in No Carolina in July. My entire family IS RC. My children were raised Cath… their other 2 children were Baptized, Cath.
Well, this 3rd child had health problems in utero and at birth, and they lapsed. They were sent a notice from their parish saying since they hadn’t contributed financially they would not be considered members. I tried to convince them all they had to do was explain the situation. But they were insulted, and then joined a non denominational Church.

I am a priest from Europe who, over the decades, has had occasion to help in parishes in the United States when I was doing academic work.

American parishes to function in a way atypical to European practice. I would not be surprised, in a parish that has a stewardship programme in place, that after some set number of weeks or months of no contribution, the party responsible for distributing the contribution envelopes would send a notice saying that envelopes would no longer be sent and that the party was being removed from the list. I found them to have the typical American efficiency for such things.

Many times, as I was told, people will move and not notify the parish…which assumes the expense of sending out envelopes that are never used.

Speaking of not notifying the parish, in the midst of the health crisis, the parish should have been informed so that these young people could have been receiving pastoral care for the infirm/housebound. That would have indicated to the parish that these people were still active; indeed, when someone is ill/in a life-threatening situation, it is expected they will be all the more engaged with pastoral life because they are in situation of proximate danger…instead they simply disappeared, from the perspective of the parish office and the parish priest. Most American parishes have a very elaborate programme for pastoral care of the sick.

I was happy that at least they hadn’t turned away from Religion altogether.
But… Now the priest at the Church in NC found out they haven’t been attending RC Mass, and will not Baptize the child, saying Canon Law mandates that their is a Hope that the Child will be raised in the Catholic faith… and since they don’t practice that faith (by going to Mass), he cannot Baptize the child in the Cath faith.

It is not simply “hope” – it is founded hope. The canon specifies
*Can. 868 §1. For an infant to be baptized licitly:

1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;

2/ there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.*
The parents only must consent. If you are there, or another family members who is a committed Catholic, says that they will see that the child is brought up in the faith, the priest can baptised the child since he has a founded hope resting upon the assurance of the grandparent or the other relative who assumes responsibility…again assuming the parents consent.

Is this correct? I just cannot believe that our new Pope would think this is the way things should go? To deny a 6 month old entry in to the Church…
Please help me understand this. My daughter has even said she will go back to the Cath Church…

But your view does not take into account that entry into the Church means the child is bound by ecclesiastical law and obligations. Once Catholic, as just one example, the child could never in life validly contract marriage without observing the canons on marriage. If the child followed, subsequent to baptism, the religion practices of the non-Catholic community…perhaps never even knowing they were Catholic…any marriage they attempted to contract would be invalid if Catholic marriage canons were not observed.

There are many reasons the canons are written the way they are.

What I do not understand is: if there were prenatal complications and danger at the time of birth, why were arrangements not made for the child to be baptised at the moment of birth/in the neonatal ICU? This was a grave responsibility to have seen to
Can. 867 §2. An infant in danger of death is to be baptized without delay.

 

[Sy_Noe]

Hi. Allow me to offer some assistance. First, since you’re new to this forum, I’m a priest.

A couple of things…first, though it’s harsh, I would agree with your children’s priest. Others have answered this, so there is really very little else I might add in that regard. Our current Holy Father did say one day that having parents who are unmarried should not be a deterrent to baptizing a child. And, I certainly agree. I’ve baptized plenty of children whose parents are not in a valid marriage. But, in each case, I’ve had a well-founded hope that the child will be raised in the faith. This is especially the case in Hispanic cultures, and not coincidentally, our Holy Father comes from such a culture and was likely faced with just this scenario in his day-to-day pastoral work as a priest and eventually the archbishop of Buenos Aires.

As it pertains to this question, unfortunately, the answer is no. If a child is baptized in another faith, be it Lutheran, Methodist, Pentecostal, E-Free, etcetera, that child is a member of that faith until such time as he or she makes a profession of faith in the Catholic Church.

Let’s talk about your daughter and son-in-law. Again, a couple of things. First, as HoosierDaddy said, I’d be surprised if a parish sent them a letter that in essence said, “You haven’t been keeping up on your stewardship. If you don’t give us money, we’re going to remove you from the books.” If they did, shame on that pastor, and I really mean that. But again, I find it hard to believe that such was said. (As an aside…we DO have a responsibility to stewardship, but that’s another post/talk for another day.) Rather, what likely happened is a letter was sent saying something along these lines,

"Dear John and Jane Doe,

Our parish records show that we have not received an envelope from you since ________. We are simply reaching out to find out if you are in need of any assistance at this time and to be sure that you are still interested in being a member of our community.

Please contact our office at ___________________

With kind regards,
Fr. ___________"

Again, not in those words exactly, but something along those lines. Anyway, whether said letter mentioned money, is a question of prudence. As I often say, “What is said (in this case written) is not always what is heard (read).”

Hopefully, your children will return to an active practice of their faith. Rather than simply leave the parish, I hope they contact their priest and express the hurt they felt in receiving such a letter and explain their situation to him. While lack of giving among Catholics, and I would say especially among millennial Catholics is a serious problem facing the Church and will only get worse in the coming years, that doesn’t mean that’s necessarily what is going on with your children.

Pray to St. Monica on their behalf.

And if someone prefers not using envelopes but contributes anonymously, then they are refused the Sacraments for themselves or their children?

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Hi. Allow me to offer some assistance. First, since you’re new to this forum, I’m a priest.

A couple of things…first, though it’s harsh, I would agree with your children’s priest. Others have answered this, so there is really very little else I might add in that regard. Our current Holy Father did say one day that having parents who are unmarried should not be a deterrent to baptizing a child. And, I certainly agree. I’ve baptized plenty of children whose parents are not in a valid marriage. But, in each case, I’ve had a well-founded hope that the child will be raised in the faith. This is especially the case in Hispanic cultures, and not coincidentally, our Holy Father comes from such a culture and was likely faced with just this scenario in his day-to-day pastoral work as a priest and eventually the archbishop of Buenos Aires.

As it pertains to this question, unfortunately, the answer is no. If a child is baptized in another faith, be it Lutheran, Methodist, Pentecostal, E-Free, etcetera, that child is a member of that faith until such time as he or she makes a profession of faith in the Catholic Church.

Let’s talk about your daughter and son-in-law. Again, a couple of things. First, as HoosierDaddy said, I’d be surprised if a parish sent them a letter that in essence said, “You haven’t been keeping up on your stewardship. If you don’t give us money, we’re going to remove you from the books.” If they did, shame on that pastor, and I really mean that. But again, I find it hard to believe that such was said. (As an aside…we DO have a responsibility to stewardship, but that’s another post/talk for another day.) Rather, what likely happened is a letter was sent saying something along these lines,

"Dear John and Jane Doe,

Our parish records show that we have not received an envelope from you since ________. We are simply reaching out to find out if you are in need of any assistance at this time and to be sure that you are still interested in being a member of our community.

Please contact our office at ___________________

With kind regards,
Fr. ___________"

Again, not in those words exactly, but something along those lines. Anyway, whether said letter mentioned money, is a question of prudence. As I often say, “What is said (in this case written) is not always what is heard (read).”

Hopefully, your children will return to an active practice of their faith. Rather than simply leave the parish, I hope they contact their priest and express the hurt they felt in receiving such a letter and explain their situation to him. While lack of giving among Catholics, and I would say especially among millennial Catholics is a serious problem facing the Church and will only get worse in the coming years, that doesn’t mean that’s necessarily what is going on with your children.

Pray to St. Monica on their behalf.

Oh good. The original poster has the benefit of the response of an American based priest.

To affirm what you write, Father, I remember one parish I helped out in where the parish priest would tell people unable to contribute simply to drop in the empty envelope; that told the parish office the person was still active.

We, however, are in a situation where most of us in our parishes have more contact at a human level. Even outside of Church functions. If someone does not stop in at the bakery to get their bread, according to habit, people will know something is wrong. We are less of an anonymous society – and we like it that way. I never had parishioners I did not know.

The American parish I spoke of above could easily have a thousand people at any of their several Masses…with rather little sense of enduring community across generations. And, unlike here, the people moved with great frequency. The envelope system did at least have the effect of allowing the parish to have some sense of who was who.

It also generated problems from my perspective as it created the illusion that one could belong to a parish by registering in it. Of course, canon law specifies that one’s parish membership is geographically defined…unless one qualifies for membership in a personal parish, which is defined by norms laid out in universal law and particular law respectively.

 

[StudentMI]

I’m sorry their baby had problems. I hope they get this worked out. Did they stop going because they had a crisis of faith, since their baby was in danger? I could understand that. It’s a situation I’ll never experience but I can imagine it would be devastating.

I hope their priest didn’t word it that way, but sadly I’ve heard of such things. One parish near me had a pretty big exodus due to the insensitivity of their priest.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

And if someone prefers not using envelopes but contributes anonymously, then they are refused the Sacraments for themselves or their children?

The parishioner has an obligation to make sure the parish priest is aware that they are part of his flock. As I said in my recent post, one solution is to deposit an empty envelope. Another is to be so engaged in the parish that the priest knows you are active. Or at least that he has greeted you after Eucharist.

I think it is very wrong to make this sound at all like it is a cash for sacraments arrangement because it isn’t…at all. But if one is coming for a milestone sacrament…be it baptism, confirmation or marriage…there is no sense in which the parish priest should be left perplexed that he has never had any previous contact at all with this parishioner or even whether or not the parishioner is regular in the practice of the faith. That is indicative of something very very wrong.

 

[pensmama87]

And if someone prefers not using envelopes but contributes anonymously, then they are refused the Sacraments for themselves or their children?

I would think it would be easy enough to say, “Thanks for your concern. I am regularly attending Mass but prefer to contribute anonymously. Please keep my family on your list of active parishioners.”

 

[Gorgias]

I would think it would be easy enough to say, “Thanks for your concern. I am regularly attending Mass but prefer to contribute anonymously. Please keep my family on your list of active parishioners.”

And the typical response to that is, “oh, ok, no problems! But, please do us a favor. So that we might have documentation of your attendance at our Masses, please bring your (empty) envelope and drop it in the collection basket. When we get a new pastor who doesn’t know you, and you need to become a baptismal or confirmation sponsor, etc, it’s important that we have that documentation to fall back on.”